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mjwhitlock18's review
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
reflective
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
3.5
I’m not sure that I knew what I was getting into with this book, and I’m still not entirely sure where I stand on it. It is ultimately a vampire story that explores gender, sexuality, identity, fandom, and the archiving of lives and ephemera. It feels more like a true autobiography than fiction. It’s raw, tangled, and at times disjointed. This queer Jewish trans male vampire meets and has a fast burning relationships with a bisexual widow, as he is archiving her dead wife’s belongings. I’m not sure that I support the romance, as it feels not entirely healthy, but I’m also not sure if I’m supposed to as a reader. This book is light on plot, heavy on dialogue and metaphors, and mostly about relationships and people figuring their shit out. Overall, it’s spooky, queer, and weird, and if that’s your vibe, give it a shot.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content, Transphobia, Physical abuse, Dysphoria, Deadnaming, Domestic abuse, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Infidelity and Blood
Minor: Car accident, Suicidal thoughts, and Sexual assault
aiyam's review
challenging
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Medical content, Deadnaming, Outing, Transphobia, Dysphoria, Blood, Homophobia, and Car accident
dananana's review
emotional
hopeful
reflective
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
i absolutely loved loved loved this 💙🤍💖
Content Warnings
Graphic: Blood, Chronic illness, Grief, Dysphoria, Outing, Death, Transphobia, and Sexual content
Moderate: Car accident
Minor: Deadnaming
solspringsreads's review against another edition
emotional
mysterious
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
I have really complicated feelings about this book. I spent a large portion of my time reading this book just sending my friend live texts trying to figure out how I felt and why I felt it—there’s a lot of gender discussion that made me feel not great, though it was clearly reflective of the author’s own relationship with gender and sexuality and didn’t seem to come from a place of intentionally triggering intense dysphoria in potential readers (AKA it’s not necessarily the book, it’s me)—and very little time just… enjoying the book.
Even so, the actual plot of this book is pretty interesting. It somehow manages to be exactly as advertised (vampire archivist!) and not at all what is advertised and then also more than what is advertised. The relationship between the main characters burns incredibly fast and is very intense, and like many other readers, I’m not sure I really… liked the main relationship. Not that I’m even sure that I’m supposed to? It’s complicated.
This is a book about very messy, flawed people trying to work through their chaos together. It’s not trying to be healthy or idealized, and that’s pretty great! We deserve to have messy queer characters figuring out who they are. I really appreciated what this book was doing thematically, even if the execution wasn’t my favorite. This book can also be very emotionally taxing if you, too, are a messy, flawed person trying to work through your chaos. Please check the trigger warnings before picking this one up.
Even so, the actual plot of this book is pretty interesting. It somehow manages to be exactly as advertised (vampire archivist!) and not at all what is advertised and then also more than what is advertised. The relationship between the main characters burns incredibly fast and is very intense, and like many other readers, I’m not sure I really… liked the main relationship. Not that I’m even sure that I’m supposed to? It’s complicated.
This is a book about very messy, flawed people trying to work through their chaos together. It’s not trying to be healthy or idealized, and that’s pretty great! We deserve to have messy queer characters figuring out who they are. I really appreciated what this book was doing thematically, even if the execution wasn’t my favorite. This book can also be very emotionally taxing if you, too, are a messy, flawed person trying to work through your chaos. Please check the trigger warnings before picking this one up.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Lesbophobia, Sexism, Outing, Medical content, Grief, Car accident, Biphobia, Hate crime, Transphobia, Misogyny, Dysphoria, Homophobia, Deadnaming, Infidelity, Blood, and Toxic relationship
bookishvicky's review
emotional
mysterious
reflective
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I went into this expecting a campy vampire romance in an archival setting and instead got a beautiful metaphor about bodies and memory and connection and otherness. While I’m certainly not one to say I understand Sol’s plight (as a cis bi woman who is unfortunately not a vampire), I feel as though I was reading someone’s memoir instead of fiction, and felt connected to the inclusion of early slasher fics and what they meant in the grand scheme of fandom and author identity, how we use these stories to better understand our own. It made me feel very human, and more aware of myself. Truly an amazing read—one of those rare books that’ll make you feel just so, so deeply. Beautiful prose, wonderful experimental formatting, and a gorgeous cover to boot.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dysphoria, Homophobia, Transphobia, Sexual content, and Blood
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts and Deadnaming
Minor: Car accident, Death, and Outing
indeed_distract's review
funny
mysterious
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Blood, Medical content, Sexual content, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Transphobia, Car accident, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Grief, Suicidal thoughts, Outing, and Deadnaming
coyodie's review
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Death, Injury/Injury detail, Chronic illness, Cursing, Dysphoria, Sexual content, Outing, Transphobia, Mental illness, and Medical content
Moderate: Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, and Confinement
Minor: Infertility, Addiction, Deadnaming, Misogyny, and Violence
honeyduke's review
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Blood
Minor: Car accident
anxiousnachos's review
mysterious
slow-paced
3.0
I have mixed feelings on this one. There were moments that took my breath away; there is such a gentle, tender but unflinching portrayal of a trans masc vampire and nonbinary love interest and some of the moments these two considered their gender and identity just took my breath away in how deeply I felt: same. This novel feels like a deeply personal experience, like looking into someone’s mind, it feels like you are glimpsing the author’s trans experience, from the way they explore butchness, to the way lesbian and trans masc identities can be so entwined, to the workplace discrimination. It feels very intimate.
I thought it raised some very interesting ideas around vampirism, death and archiving. But this is unfortunately where it began to let me down because it was all just rather…shall we say it, boring? Trying to be philosophical but just losing the engagement along the way?
So I have mixed thoughts and ultimately I am settling somewhere on a mixed rating. Because whilst there are some moments of real, deep familiarity and connection, there is also a lot to swim through to reach those moments.
Content warnings: transphobia, blood, needles and other medical content, dysphoria, disability discrimination in the workplace, graphic sex, deadnaming, outing (in the workplace), vampirism as chronic illness, car accident, suicidal ideation
I thought it raised some very interesting ideas around vampirism, death and archiving. But this is unfortunately where it began to let me down because it was all just rather…shall we say it, boring? Trying to be philosophical but just losing the engagement along the way?
So I have mixed thoughts and ultimately I am settling somewhere on a mixed rating. Because whilst there are some moments of real, deep familiarity and connection, there is also a lot to swim through to reach those moments.
Content warnings: transphobia, blood, needles and other medical content, dysphoria, disability discrimination in the workplace, graphic sex, deadnaming, outing (in the workplace), vampirism as chronic illness, car accident, suicidal ideation
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Blood, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Outing, Car accident, Chronic illness, Ableism, Medical content, and Suicidal thoughts
kell_xavi's review
mysterious
reflective
slow-paced
3.0
This book made me feel weird. So much of it was similar to my reality and my writing style, and yet I found an underlying uncanniness to the whole that I don’t think was intentional. Like a photograph half-developed: there are a few typographic mistakes, continuity oddnesses (slang that seems anachronistic); there are many discussions of transness that, as a transmasc person, came across to me as both overwrought and unable to find the centre. I was bothered by the novel’s circling, looking for and reflecting on and deeply desiring substance, but only building and building a show rather than hitting on the crux. It’s so difficult to explain what I mean, this strange experience of reading.
I enjoyed, was excited about, the use of a science fiction TV show and fandom as jumping off points for the novel. I was curious about internal references and Sol’s attachment to this fictional universe; finding self in it, or looking back and seeing self not yet found, in the interaction with it. I wanted more of archival work, beyond a single personal collection of someone who so evades knowing, and is never quite a useful character or metaphor.
The novel is so often steeped in Sol’s perspective, and while we can’t name everything neurodivergence, there is a sort of autistic quality to his continued unhappiness, dissociation, distance, single-minded deep interests, loneliness, and difficulty anticipating social situation… he has a particular kind of oddness, and Fellman has a particular way of describing both his thoughts and his vampire body, that reads as autistic (but unaware of it) to someone who has ASD. The things I liked and the things that didn’t work may both be rooted in this factor (the perspective, the masking/ignorance).
I think this book will stay memorable, but right now it’s still caught, half-processed, in my mind.
I enjoyed, was excited about, the use of a science fiction TV show and fandom as jumping off points for the novel. I was curious about internal references and Sol’s attachment to this fictional universe; finding self in it, or looking back and seeing self not yet found, in the interaction with it. I wanted more of archival work, beyond a single personal collection of someone who so evades knowing, and is never quite a useful character or metaphor.
The novel is so often steeped in Sol’s perspective, and while we can’t name everything neurodivergence, there is a sort of autistic quality to his continued unhappiness, dissociation, distance, single-minded deep interests, loneliness, and difficulty anticipating social situation… he has a particular kind of oddness, and Fellman has a particular way of describing both his thoughts and his vampire body, that reads as autistic (but unaware of it) to someone who has ASD. The things I liked and the things that didn’t work may both be rooted in this factor (the perspective, the masking/ignorance).
I think this book will stay memorable, but right now it’s still caught, half-processed, in my mind.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Car accident, Medical content, Blood, and Dysphoria
Minor: Transphobia