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bacteriosage's review
0.5
not sure if i want to put the energy into writing an actual review of this book because i already put enough energy into finishing it, but i truly think that was the worst book i’ve read to date. it felt deeply lesbophobic, and incredibly reductive in its portrayal of transness. about a quarter into the book i just gave the author the benefit of the doubt and read as though all the problematic stuff was solely a result of the characters being frankly awful people, but there are too many stereotypes and clear biases of the author within the metanarrative for that to make sense. and at one point the main character Sol does address how his love interest is toxic in a lot of ways and fetishizes him, but the literal one paragraph that discusses that seems to just conclude “well i’m codependent and in love with them so it’s okay.” the relationship itself also felt very insta-lovey and comprised of primarily trauma-bonding, and the sex scenes were incredibly uncomfortable to read imo (also lots of scenes and phrases that just. don’t leave room for aro/ace people to exist in this fictional world much, if at all). again, if there were some explanation for this in the broader context of the work i would love to hear it, i’m not expecting the book to tell me that “problematic characters are problematic” or hold my hand through figuring out what’s homophobic/transphobic or not, but as far as i can figure there was no larger message or meaning that gave me any explanation for that.
the last thing i’ll say is HOWWW are these characters in their FORTIES???? they read like teenagers steeped in the deepest trenches of tumblr discourse. almost DNF’d at finding out the love interest works for AO3, then again with supernatural fanfic jokes, then again with an “assigned cop at birth” joke. admittedly i don’t tend to enjoy when books date themselves, just a personal preference, but i absolutely loved tamsyn muir’s pop culture references in tlt — this felt like a horribly ham-fisted version of that.
maybe i will try to put together a more coherent review later because i think what sucks (pun intended) the most is that the concept of a transmasc, vampire archivist is SO COOL and there were even a few pages that connnected those themes in really interesting ways, but the overall thread of them was totally lost in the story as a whole for me and i just felt like i was stuck listening to the two most obnoxious characters on earth talk ad nauseum and still say absolutely nothing. i couldn’t even tell the difference in character voices honestly, they all just felt like different vessels for the author because they all speak the same. i don’t think i’ve ever finished a book so quickly just because i needed it to be over.
okay TRULY the last thing i’ll say but there was absolutely no trans joy in this book that was not in some way connected to dysphoria, and i think we deserve better than that, especially when the book is written by a trans author.
the last thing i’ll say is HOWWW are these characters in their FORTIES???? they read like teenagers steeped in the deepest trenches of tumblr discourse. almost DNF’d at finding out the love interest works for AO3, then again with supernatural fanfic jokes, then again with an “assigned cop at birth” joke. admittedly i don’t tend to enjoy when books date themselves, just a personal preference, but i absolutely loved tamsyn muir’s pop culture references in tlt — this felt like a horribly ham-fisted version of that.
maybe i will try to put together a more coherent review later because i think what sucks (pun intended) the most is that the concept of a transmasc, vampire archivist is SO COOL and there were even a few pages that connnected those themes in really interesting ways, but the overall thread of them was totally lost in the story as a whole for me and i just felt like i was stuck listening to the two most obnoxious characters on earth talk ad nauseum and still say absolutely nothing. i couldn’t even tell the difference in character voices honestly, they all just felt like different vessels for the author because they all speak the same. i don’t think i’ve ever finished a book so quickly just because i needed it to be over.
okay TRULY the last thing i’ll say but there was absolutely no trans joy in this book that was not in some way connected to dysphoria, and i think we deserve better than that, especially when the book is written by a trans author.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Deadnaming, Homophobia, Transphobia, and Lesbophobia
Moderate: Car accident
the d*ke slur is used repeatedly in this book, it does not appear to be used as a slur in the context but given the overall deeply lesbophobic themes in the book it does read that way in my opiniondearvillains's review
3.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Death, Sexual content, Transphobia, Blood, Medical content, Lesbophobia, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Ableism, Deadnaming, Infidelity, Misogyny, and Suicidal thoughts
thecolouryes's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
This was a fantastic book. It took me much longer to read than I expected; not because the plot is slow, exactly, things happen at a decent pace, but because there was a lot of content to chew on. It's ultimately a book about identity and choosing to live as opposed to just not being dead. The vampirism is a metaphor, but not in the way you think. (It's a metaphor. It's always a metaphor, even if the creator didn't intend it as a metaphor.)
Content Warnings
Moderate: Confinement, Mental illness, Transphobia, Blood, Outing, and Dysphoria
Minor: Body shaming, Deadnaming, Death, Homophobia, Sexism, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Grief, Car accident, and Lesbophobia
osladek's review
This book has absolutely no plot and no romance. The two main characters bored me to death and had nothing in common or even interesting to talk about. The way this entire book is dialogue made me lose interest so quickly. The dialogue is also so word vomit-y and feels like each character is talking to their therapist and not a love interest. The trans main character also annoyed me immensely. I am so tired of reading trans characters that only have 1 personality trait and thing to talk about and that is just being trans and sad. It's so odd to me that this is written by a trans masc person and they cannot write compelling trans characters. Not to mention the weird lesbian stereotypes that felt lesbophobic. Also I felt so gross reading lesbian characters described as a slur. This wouldn't be an issue to me if the writer was part of the group that slur is used against, it can absolutely be reclaimed, but the author is NOT a lesbian and seemed to want to rip apart lesbians in every chapter. Overall I will not be picking this up again.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Lesbophobia
Moderate: Transphobia
_brenna_'s review
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Lesbophobia
solspringsreads's review against another edition
emotional
mysterious
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
I have really complicated feelings about this book. I spent a large portion of my time reading this book just sending my friend live texts trying to figure out how I felt and why I felt it—there’s a lot of gender discussion that made me feel not great, though it was clearly reflective of the author’s own relationship with gender and sexuality and didn’t seem to come from a place of intentionally triggering intense dysphoria in potential readers (AKA it’s not necessarily the book, it’s me)—and very little time just… enjoying the book.
Even so, the actual plot of this book is pretty interesting. It somehow manages to be exactly as advertised (vampire archivist!) and not at all what is advertised and then also more than what is advertised. The relationship between the main characters burns incredibly fast and is very intense, and like many other readers, I’m not sure I really… liked the main relationship. Not that I’m even sure that I’m supposed to? It’s complicated.
This is a book about very messy, flawed people trying to work through their chaos together. It’s not trying to be healthy or idealized, and that’s pretty great! We deserve to have messy queer characters figuring out who they are. I really appreciated what this book was doing thematically, even if the execution wasn’t my favorite. This book can also be very emotionally taxing if you, too, are a messy, flawed person trying to work through your chaos. Please check the trigger warnings before picking this one up.
Even so, the actual plot of this book is pretty interesting. It somehow manages to be exactly as advertised (vampire archivist!) and not at all what is advertised and then also more than what is advertised. The relationship between the main characters burns incredibly fast and is very intense, and like many other readers, I’m not sure I really… liked the main relationship. Not that I’m even sure that I’m supposed to? It’s complicated.
This is a book about very messy, flawed people trying to work through their chaos together. It’s not trying to be healthy or idealized, and that’s pretty great! We deserve to have messy queer characters figuring out who they are. I really appreciated what this book was doing thematically, even if the execution wasn’t my favorite. This book can also be very emotionally taxing if you, too, are a messy, flawed person trying to work through your chaos. Please check the trigger warnings before picking this one up.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Biphobia, Deadnaming, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infidelity, Misogyny, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Car accident, Lesbophobia, Outing, and Dysphoria
sucreslibrary's review
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
0.5
what an awful little book with especially horrid views on butch lesbians
flat characters. insta-love. very narrow idea of transness and trans bodies. seems to have some real beef with butches and believes them to all be closeted trans men. every character speaks in the same way. embarrassingly overwritten. all the "good" characters praise the MC up and down for some reason even as he himself talks at length about how awful he is. so much fandom BS that adds nothing to the story even when taken as the metaphor it's meant to be. has waaaaaay too many metaphors as it is and looooves to spend a ton of time discussing them.
just terrible. i had really been looking forward to this book and ended up feeling incredibly insulted and hurt by the contents of it.
flat characters. insta-love. very narrow idea of transness and trans bodies. seems to have some real beef with butches and believes them to all be closeted trans men. every character speaks in the same way. embarrassingly overwritten. all the "good" characters praise the MC up and down for some reason even as he himself talks at length about how awful he is. so much fandom BS that adds nothing to the story even when taken as the metaphor it's meant to be. has waaaaaay too many metaphors as it is and looooves to spend a ton of time discussing them.
just terrible. i had really been looking forward to this book and ended up feeling incredibly insulted and hurt by the contents of it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Lesbophobia
literatemushroom's review
This book, for being an own voices novel, was really gross. There was A LOT of lesbophobic rhetoric, gender essentialism (TERF language) and transphobia. It treats all butch lesbians as being transphobic and frame being nonbianary as a recent fad identity rather than something that has a long storied history in the community.
That's not all, the writing was flat and all of the characters were the same. No unique voices at all.
All together I am extremely disappointed in this book.
That's not all, the writing was flat and all of the characters were the same. No unique voices at all.
All together I am extremely disappointed in this book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia and Lesbophobia
dizzymissliz's review
emotional
mysterious
relaxing
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
uhhhhhhm......
from the perspective of a cis woman i think that this was an excellent recreation of the trans experience that really helped me to understand the fluidity and development of gender. there was also some truly beautiful prose that made me go "wow." and the ending was very beautifully written.
that being said.
the characters were barely fleshed out and felt like cardboard cutouts or characters in an educational video serving no purpose except to make Sol 3-dimensional. Else was super cute but I did not like Sol that much. Honestly I was kind of neutral about both of them but leaning negative, like, I would not like them in real life.
The main thing that made me have a sour outlook on this book was the author's treatment of lesbians, and women in general.
for one thing, the author (a MAN) continually uses the d- slur to describe characters, which is a slur he can't reclaim. also, lesbians are just treated very poorly and women are continually described in a way that kind of made me uncomfortable? Sol himself seems to love women sexually but doesn't like them very much otherwise which made me dislike him. I know that as a trans person there is some discomfort with your AGAB but DAYUM the author didn't have to be weird about it.
from the perspective of a cis woman i think that this was an excellent recreation of the trans experience that really helped me to understand the fluidity and development of gender. there was also some truly beautiful prose that made me go "wow." and the ending was very beautifully written.
that being said.
the characters were barely fleshed out and felt like cardboard cutouts or characters in an educational video serving no purpose except to make Sol 3-dimensional. Else was super cute but I did not like Sol that much. Honestly I was kind of neutral about both of them but leaning negative, like, I would not like them in real life.
The main thing that made me have a sour outlook on this book was the author's treatment of lesbians, and women in general.
for one thing, the author (a MAN) continually uses the d- slur to describe characters, which is a slur he can't reclaim. also, lesbians are just treated very poorly and women are continually described in a way that kind of made me uncomfortable? Sol himself seems to love women sexually but doesn't like them very much otherwise which made me dislike him. I know that as a trans person there is some discomfort with your AGAB but DAYUM the author didn't have to be weird about it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Blood
Moderate: Homophobia and Transphobia
Minor: Car accident and Lesbophobia
metalmakubex's review against another edition
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this book. In fact, it is a book that I'm grateful exists. However, the subject matter was hitting to close to home and was actively harming me. It has very honest scenes of the painful parts of the transmasc experience.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Deadnaming, Transphobia, and Lesbophobia