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3.87 AVERAGE
3.87 AVERAGE
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
informative
reflective
fast-paced
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
Content Warnings
Moderate: Panic attacks/disorders
I had problems with ‘Odd Girl Out’. This is unfortunate to admit because I’m autistic myself, as well as being a writer and an enthusiast of own-voices stories.
I feel like maybe James needed to process her new diagnosis more deeply over time, and engage with other autistic people (of different demographics) before writing a book that centres autism as a main theme. Although there is value in documenting her diagnostic experience in its immediacy, many of her personal insights seemed quite superficial. And when incorporating other voices, she generally consulted with neurotypical ‘experts’ or high-profile autistic people speaking from a place of reasonable privilege. These sources tended to counter existing generalisations and stereotypes with newer or more (seemingly) benevolent ones. In this sense, James’ journalistic flair prevailed over the more human aspects of her story.
I suspect that perhaps James was able to write a memoir so soon after the diagnosis because of her well-established career, rather than the specific merits of her story. It felt quite contrived and surface-level, to the point where a lot of the anecdotes related to ordinary life events, rather than uniquely autistic experiences.
To make matters worse, the flow was quite meandering and repetitive; it needed a tighter edit. I didn’t enjoy the shifting voices as James spoke through her younger selves, especially because she sometimes used the guise of childhood naïveté to express elitist opinions. There seemed to be some internalised ableism and a strong desire to be set apart as an ‘intelligent’ autistic person, while distancing herself from autistic people with higher support needs or intellectual/learning disabilities. It’s unfortunate to see us reinforcing these sentiments within our own community.
In saying all that, I’m not newly diagnosed myself, so perhaps the novelty of this book was lost on me. It may be more enlightening for someone with little exposure to autistic people, but I would recommend reading it alongside other texts.
I feel like maybe James needed to process her new diagnosis more deeply over time, and engage with other autistic people (of different demographics) before writing a book that centres autism as a main theme. Although there is value in documenting her diagnostic experience in its immediacy, many of her personal insights seemed quite superficial. And when incorporating other voices, she generally consulted with neurotypical ‘experts’ or high-profile autistic people speaking from a place of reasonable privilege. These sources tended to counter existing generalisations and stereotypes with newer or more (seemingly) benevolent ones. In this sense, James’ journalistic flair prevailed over the more human aspects of her story.
I suspect that perhaps James was able to write a memoir so soon after the diagnosis because of her well-established career, rather than the specific merits of her story. It felt quite contrived and surface-level, to the point where a lot of the anecdotes related to ordinary life events, rather than uniquely autistic experiences.
To make matters worse, the flow was quite meandering and repetitive; it needed a tighter edit. I didn’t enjoy the shifting voices as James spoke through her younger selves, especially because she sometimes used the guise of childhood naïveté to express elitist opinions. There seemed to be some internalised ableism and a strong desire to be set apart as an ‘intelligent’ autistic person, while distancing herself from autistic people with higher support needs or intellectual/learning disabilities. It’s unfortunate to see us reinforcing these sentiments within our own community.
In saying all that, I’m not newly diagnosed myself, so perhaps the novelty of this book was lost on me. It may be more enlightening for someone with little exposure to autistic people, but I would recommend reading it alongside other texts.
informative
reflective
I actually read this book back in 2020 when I was trying to figure out if a certain 'a' word applied to me. While I was waiting for my official diagnosis, I used colorful post-it flags to mark any passage in the book I particularly identified with or wanted to bring up at my next appointment.
Looking back, the fact that, by the time I had finished, the paperback's text block looked like a goddamn pride flag because I kept running out of different colored flags probably should have clued me in, BUT in fairness to me, I had been taught for 31 years not to believe the reality that existed inside my own head, and to instead just accept whatever I was told by other people, so I think I can give myself a pass on that one.
And this book really hits on something I've been thinking a lot about lately. I recently attended a digital conference where one of the speakers talked about her experience as an autistic student in higher education. And someone who was watching the lecture with me (who knows I'm autistic) said "wow, she reminds me of you A LOT." And that was something I'd heard before, funnily enough, IN MY FINAL DIAGNOSTIC INTERVIEW.
You see, my diagnostician invited me to a group for autistic adults as part of the diagnostic process and for half the meeting I was the only non-cishet male in the Zoom room, so I was sitting there thinking "I don't fit with any of these people. I don't like trains (yes that's a stereotype, but we literally do have a train guy in the group.) I must be faking and I'm a horrible person for taking up this diagnostician's time."
Then, the Zoom clouds parted and SHE showed up and immediately, I knew this person. A woman in STEM who codes for fun, an introverted data-driven person, a devoted pet parent, THIS was someone I related to. I didn't notice it at the time, but we talked in a similar way, we moved in a similar way, we approached the world in a very similar way. THIS was a person I understood implicitly after a period of about 5 minutes. But I was certain that didn't mean anything as it regarded my diagnosis.
So finally, the day came to receive my official review and paperwork. And what was the first thing my diagnostician said after literally calling my diagnosis "a slam dunk?" He said, "I knew this label applied to you, but I didn't realize how much until I saw you interact with [NAME OF OTHER AUTISTIC WOMAN]. It was like you immediately felt safe to unmask and I could finally see you without all the hiding you were taught to do."
And I find that fact interesting on multiple levels. Yes, I agree with Brooklyn 99 that "every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place," but I think it's especially important for autistic people who were not socialized as white, cishet males, because we almost never see what anyone else's autism looks like, and that creates extra barriers to getting a diagnosis AND getting other people to BELIEVE YOU when you say you're autistic.
My point is that it's important for us to move past the idea that everyone's autism looks like a 5 year old boy obsessed with trains because this book was the first time I thought to myself "oh shit, I might not be making this up." And it's probably the only reason I didn't duck out of the diagnosis process halfway through for "wasting everyone's time."
So I wanted to step up and say who I am in the hopes that it might have 0.0000000001% of the impact it had to see Laura James do the same. I am a 31 year old, autistic/hella nuerodivergent data lady and dog mom, as well as a fuckload of other nouns and adjectives.
I know this review was less about the book itself and more about how it changed me, but trust me, it's a really fucking good book too. Jane Austen wrote "if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more" and that's just how I feel about this book. If it hadn't made me feel seen in such a personal and esoteric way, if it felt less like a book an alternate reality version of me had written (minus the husband and kids), I might be able to write an entire thesis about why everyone should read this goddamn book.
So yeah, my 5-star books on Goodreads are books that have changed my life or thinking in some way, so fuck yes this book applies. Welcome to the 5-Star club, Ms. James. You are in spectacular company.
Looking back, the fact that, by the time I had finished, the paperback's text block looked like a goddamn pride flag because I kept running out of different colored flags probably should have clued me in, BUT in fairness to me, I had been taught for 31 years not to believe the reality that existed inside my own head, and to instead just accept whatever I was told by other people, so I think I can give myself a pass on that one.
And this book really hits on something I've been thinking a lot about lately. I recently attended a digital conference where one of the speakers talked about her experience as an autistic student in higher education. And someone who was watching the lecture with me (who knows I'm autistic) said "wow, she reminds me of you A LOT." And that was something I'd heard before, funnily enough, IN MY FINAL DIAGNOSTIC INTERVIEW.
You see, my diagnostician invited me to a group for autistic adults as part of the diagnostic process and for half the meeting I was the only non-cishet male in the Zoom room, so I was sitting there thinking "I don't fit with any of these people. I don't like trains (yes that's a stereotype, but we literally do have a train guy in the group.) I must be faking and I'm a horrible person for taking up this diagnostician's time."
Then, the Zoom clouds parted and SHE showed up and immediately, I knew this person. A woman in STEM who codes for fun, an introverted data-driven person, a devoted pet parent, THIS was someone I related to. I didn't notice it at the time, but we talked in a similar way, we moved in a similar way, we approached the world in a very similar way. THIS was a person I understood implicitly after a period of about 5 minutes. But I was certain that didn't mean anything as it regarded my diagnosis.
So finally, the day came to receive my official review and paperwork. And what was the first thing my diagnostician said after literally calling my diagnosis "a slam dunk?" He said, "I knew this label applied to you, but I didn't realize how much until I saw you interact with [NAME OF OTHER AUTISTIC WOMAN]. It was like you immediately felt safe to unmask and I could finally see you without all the hiding you were taught to do."
And I find that fact interesting on multiple levels. Yes, I agree with Brooklyn 99 that "every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place," but I think it's especially important for autistic people who were not socialized as white, cishet males, because we almost never see what anyone else's autism looks like, and that creates extra barriers to getting a diagnosis AND getting other people to BELIEVE YOU when you say you're autistic.
My point is that it's important for us to move past the idea that everyone's autism looks like a 5 year old boy obsessed with trains because this book was the first time I thought to myself "oh shit, I might not be making this up." And it's probably the only reason I didn't duck out of the diagnosis process halfway through for "wasting everyone's time."
So I wanted to step up and say who I am in the hopes that it might have 0.0000000001% of the impact it had to see Laura James do the same. I am a 31 year old, autistic/hella nuerodivergent data lady and dog mom, as well as a fuckload of other nouns and adjectives.
I know this review was less about the book itself and more about how it changed me, but trust me, it's a really fucking good book too. Jane Austen wrote "if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more" and that's just how I feel about this book. If it hadn't made me feel seen in such a personal and esoteric way, if it felt less like a book an alternate reality version of me had written (minus the husband and kids), I might be able to write an entire thesis about why everyone should read this goddamn book.
So yeah, my 5-star books on Goodreads are books that have changed my life or thinking in some way, so fuck yes this book applies. Welcome to the 5-Star club, Ms. James. You are in spectacular company.
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Writing was disjointed and could have done with more editing. I couldn’t get into it enough to feel like continuing to pick it up.
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
informative
reflective
medium-paced
hopeful
reflective
fast-paced