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3.54 AVERAGE
3.54 AVERAGE
As a feminist and mental health advocate- this is a hard review to write.
In "Men Have Called Her Crazy," Anna Marie Tendler dives into her rocky relationships with men, but I found the story to be a bit disconnected. While her anger towards men is *extremely* intense, it often feels out of place. For someone who claims to hate men, she completely relies on them financially and emotionally. Even after her hospital stay and divorce, she seems to fall into the same patterns, which makes it hard to see any real growth in the memoir. I was also left wondering if her feelings stem more from her past and with her relationships with WOMEN, especially her complicated relationship with her mother, rather than just her experiences with men.
Tendler shares some tough dating stories, but I couldn't help but question what she brought to the table in those relationships. (No there is no excuse for a 30 year old to date a 16 year old --- she also justifies this and is only starting to see that something "might" be weird about it... *ick*). She tends to lean on men for financial support and often jumps ship on careers at the first sign of trouble, which makes it difficult to view her struggles as purely the fault of others. It would have been great to see her take more accountability for her part in these dynamics.
That said, there are definitely relatable moments throughout, especially for white women navigating dating in today’s world. Still, I felt like she left out some big pieces of her life—like her marriage/divorce and extremely privileged lifestyle—which made her story feel a bit incomplete. Overall, while she offers some great insights, the book could use a little more self-reflection and nuance about her relationships.
I don’t even know where to begin with the eating disorder. Someone noted this as a memoir of someone who is completely unhealed and not ready to be writing these experiences and I feel that.
In "Men Have Called Her Crazy," Anna Marie Tendler dives into her rocky relationships with men, but I found the story to be a bit disconnected. While her anger towards men is *extremely* intense, it often feels out of place. For someone who claims to hate men, she completely relies on them financially and emotionally. Even after her hospital stay and divorce, she seems to fall into the same patterns, which makes it hard to see any real growth in the memoir. I was also left wondering if her feelings stem more from her past and with her relationships with WOMEN, especially her complicated relationship with her mother, rather than just her experiences with men.
Tendler shares some tough dating stories, but I couldn't help but question what she brought to the table in those relationships. (No there is no excuse for a 30 year old to date a 16 year old --- she also justifies this and is only starting to see that something "might" be weird about it... *ick*). She tends to lean on men for financial support and often jumps ship on careers at the first sign of trouble, which makes it difficult to view her struggles as purely the fault of others. It would have been great to see her take more accountability for her part in these dynamics.
That said, there are definitely relatable moments throughout, especially for white women navigating dating in today’s world. Still, I felt like she left out some big pieces of her life—like her marriage/divorce and extremely privileged lifestyle—which made her story feel a bit incomplete. Overall, while she offers some great insights, the book could use a little more self-reflection and nuance about her relationships.
I don’t even know where to begin with the eating disorder. Someone noted this as a memoir of someone who is completely unhealed and not ready to be writing these experiences and I feel that.
*feminine rage in the form of crying* one of my personal favorites
challenging
emotional
funny
reflective
medium-paced
Unfortunately not what I was expecting (reflections on general patriarchal structures from her experiences and maybe a critique on the patriarchal/capitalist goals of psychology). Instead the memoir felt more like what it’s like to be a white American who has a dog.
Girl, what? I was on board for 2/3 of the book and share much of the same sentiment about inequality between men and women, but she lost me completely when reading that if she ever decided to have children, she absolutely could not parent male children because that's how deep-rooted her hatred is. Give me a break.
challenging
dark
fast-paced
a lot of this book felt really disjointed and there were some parts that I straight up didnt understand because AMT wouldnt go into any specifics about her marriage. i had to learn the context later on from hearing other reviews.
i felt like this was not for a reader who doesnt already know about who AMT is, and even less for a reader who doesnt know exact timelines of when thinga in her life happened.for example, i didnt realize she was in inpatient at the same time john mulaney was in rehab, and i didn’t know by the point of her “altercation” with her therapist she was likely in the beginning stages of divorce which is why that set her off so badly, and it’s never explicitly stated what lead her to going into in patient other than her ‘having a bad year’ i didn’t learn this from the book but from looking into it afterwards
on an artistic level, i understand leaving out john mulaney’s part in the story since AMT clearly doesnt want to be defined by the men she previously centred in her life. but considering she leave no details behind when it comes to other stories of past men in her life this left a giant gap in the story and what i think was likely crucial to understanding why AMT hates men so much. i wasn’t expect an expose, but given the story the author is trying to tell it feels like an important part was left out,, and i wouldn’t be surprised if it was left out for legal reasons.
i also feel like there wasn’t as much self-reflection as you’d expect with a memoir. her reliance on men for financial stability and privilege are never acknowledged nor is there any personal accountability for some of her actions.
overall felt meh and like the type of book i will forget i have read.
i felt like this was not for a reader who doesnt already know about who AMT is, and even less for a reader who doesnt know exact timelines of when thinga in her life happened.
on an artistic level, i understand leaving out john mulaney’s part in the story since AMT clearly doesnt want to be defined by the men she previously centred in her life. but considering she leave no details behind when it comes to other stories of past men in her life this left a giant gap in the story and what i think was likely crucial to understanding why AMT hates men so much. i wasn’t expect an expose, but given the story the author is trying to tell it feels like an important part was left out,, and i wouldn’t be surprised if it was left out for legal reasons.
i also feel like there wasn’t as much self-reflection as you’d expect with a memoir. her reliance on men for financial stability and privilege are never acknowledged nor is there any personal accountability for some of her actions.
overall felt meh and like the type of book i will forget i have read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Mental illness, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Animal death, Toxic relationship
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
fast-paced
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
Tendler lacks the self-awareness to create a truly engaging memoir. Her language is stiff and the therapy speak of the characters has leaked into the prose creating a strange tone. Tender herself seems to have a rather large ego, uninteresting anecdotes (often telling the reader what she and other characters ate for breakfast), and a general belief that she’s never done anything wrong.
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
