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citrus_seasalt's review against another edition
5.0
The mind and thoughts of a child is so expertly captured in Rowan as a character. I’m sure part of this has to do with the author basing him somewhat off of themself at his age, but it’s still a skill I think is worth acknowledging. Putting you directly in Rowan’s shoes also makes the 90’s Midwest setting feel seamless. I heavily empathized with him…his loneliness, his preservation of his moments of joy, his sadness. Especially when he would directly address the reader. I cannot count how many times I wished to respond to his letters, fight his parents, or hug him.
Because of how young the POV is (ten years old), and how the writing style has to be simple to accommodate that, there was a quiet profoundness throughout. Rowan might not know how to put himself, the love he has for his friend, and all of the emotions that come with living in the Beck household into words sometimes. It can definitely show. But the largeness of those feelings is still felt in all the pages. The love he had for his friend Sofie, and the way she cared for him just as much, brought a bit of light to an otherwise heartbreaking narrative. To see that kind of innocent queer love, too, was beautiful.
Another thing I loved was how Rowan’s gender identity was written. For the first part of the book, he is still trying to figure out how he wants to refer to himself, something made harder by both his age and the hostility of his environment. He cycles through many names, as shown in the variations of sign-offs in his letters. Sometimes, particularly in the middle, his sign-off signatures can even be a signifier of his current mental state or emotions.
And the drawings, too!! I loved them so much. Not only were they precious, but they added a little more life to Rowan’s narrative because it meant you could more easily envision the different people, objects and places he was talking about. Rowan also evolves through his art, which goes on to show how he sees himself or wishes to be, which was a nice touch.
Anyways. I can’t recommend reading this in one sitting—not just because of just how upsetting the story can be, but also because this is very slow-paced. It feels like a recollection of several normal days, with the letters dated and spaced out in a way to feel like you’re watching the story unfold in real time. If you’re looking for something with a high-stakes final act, or a climactic ending, you’re not going to find one. But I would still give this book all the stars I possibly could, because if it touched my heart and soul on this level, I can’t imagine what it can do for people who know, or perhaps are themselves, a Rowan.
Graphic: Bullying, Child abuse, Homophobia, and Transphobia
Moderate: Forced institutionalization, Rape, and Incest
sglance9's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Graphic: Sexual assault and Bullying
Moderate: Transphobia, Homophobia, and Incest
good_names_dont_exist's review against another edition
Graphic: Bullying, Sexual assault, and Transphobia
Moderate: Child abuse, Homophobia, and Alcoholism
Minor: Incest and Racism
anacereading's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
Minor: Child abuse, Incest, Transphobia, and Homophobia
lilyrooke's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.5
read this if you enjoyed: other painful, unflinching trauma narratives.
rep: questioning, trans MC; Black queer-coded best friend.
cw: child sexual abuse; incest; transphobia; bullying; homophobia; dissociation; trauma; suicide ideation; parental incarceration; institutional racism
Haunting. Painful. This is a book I wish I hadn't read, in all honesty. But perhaps someday I'll feel different, and I'll know it helped guide me along my own river. Please pay attention to the content warnings; this book does not play nice.
CAWPILE: 7.7 (4*)
favourite aspect: Rowan's friendship with Sofie offered a beautiful ray of light. I cheered when Mr B left Rowan the note with his phone number, but as the author says, it's rare that a sexually abused child would reach out to another adult, so it's our responsibility to keep looking out for them.
a wish: Content. warnings. save. lives. and. should. be. mandatory.
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, Homophobia, Bullying, Transphobia, Sexual violence, and Child abuse
matthiasreads's review against another edition
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
Moderate: Bullying and Homophobia
Minor: Child abuse, Incest, and Sexual assault
jeamar82's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.5
Moderate: Alcoholism, Homophobia, Bullying, Child abuse, and Emotional abuse
naomiysl's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
the experience of being a trans kid
coming into ones sexuality as an adolescent
transphobia and homophobia
parental incarceration
incest/sexual abuse
it's...a pretty big list. Treat yourself gently after reading.
Graphic: Transphobia, Homophobia, Incest, Domestic abuse, Child abuse, Sexual assault, Violence, Addiction, Bullying, Dysphoria, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, and Self harm
moth2rae's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Moderate: Transphobia, Lesbophobia, Alcoholism, Bullying, Homophobia, and Child abuse
Minor: Sexual assault and Incest