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4.34 AVERAGE
4.34 AVERAGE
dark
reflective
sad
medium-paced
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
challenging
dark
reflective
medium-paced
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
The first part of this memoir reminded me of Jessmyn Ward's books, which is a good thing. It was sad when the author left her extended family to move to Atlanta with her mother. It probably would have seemed like a great idea, though, if I hadn't known that by moving to Atlanta, her mother would meet the man that would eventually murder her.
The parts of the memoir that are the recorded transcriptions of phone conversations between the author's mother and her ex-husband are chilling. For the first time, I sort of understood the crazy mindset of men who kill their spouses & children. It's absolutely maddening to read his flawed logic, that it's somehow the woman's fault for "making him" have to kill her. WOW. Trethewey's mother did everything 'right' by calling the police, taking out a restraining order, calling a battered woman's shelter etc. but in the end there is no true protection. Honestly, after reading those phone calls, her only viable option for her own personal safety would have been to kill him first. And that is a horrible, insane solution to the problem at hand. What can a woman do? It's so upsetting. I truly don't see a safe way out of it other than murdering him first.
My biggest quibble with the book was the lack of clarity over the relationship between the author and her half brother. What happened to him after his dad killed his mom? Who did he go live with? What was his response to the abusive marriage? I realize that this is her memoir, not his, but I found it strange that she barely mentioned him at all. I would forget she even had a brother. Does she identify her brother with her stepfather so much that she is unable to have a relationship with him? Or maybe he asked that she please not write about him? Who knows.
I'm glad I read this memoir. It was a heavy read, obviously, but very well written and moving. I truly hope that Trethewey was able to find peace and love in her adult life. She deserves it.
The parts of the memoir that are the recorded transcriptions of phone conversations between the author's mother and her ex-husband are chilling. For the first time, I sort of understood the crazy mindset of men who kill their spouses & children. It's absolutely maddening to read his flawed logic, that it's somehow the woman's fault for "making him" have to kill her. WOW. Trethewey's mother did everything 'right' by calling the police, taking out a restraining order, calling a battered woman's shelter etc. but in the end there is no true protection. Honestly, after reading those phone calls, her only viable option for her own personal safety would have been to kill him first. And that is a horrible, insane solution to the problem at hand. What can a woman do? It's so upsetting. I truly don't see a safe way out of it other than murdering him first.
My biggest quibble with the book was the lack of clarity over the relationship between the author and her half brother. What happened to him after his dad killed his mom? Who did he go live with? What was his response to the abusive marriage? I realize that this is her memoir, not his, but I found it strange that she barely mentioned him at all. I would forget she even had a brother. Does she identify her brother with her stepfather so much that she is unable to have a relationship with him? Or maybe he asked that she please not write about him? Who knows.
I'm glad I read this memoir. It was a heavy read, obviously, but very well written and moving. I truly hope that Trethewey was able to find peace and love in her adult life. She deserves it.
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Domestic abuse
Cw: intimate partner violence
A beautiful and haunting memoir. I had goosebumps whilst reading parts of this book and haven’t stopped thinking about it since.
A beautiful and haunting memoir. I had goosebumps whilst reading parts of this book and haven’t stopped thinking about it since.
informative
reflective
medium-paced