You need to sign in or sign up before continuing.
Take a photo of a barcode or cover
4.34 AVERAGE
4.34 AVERAGE
challenging
emotional
fast-paced
Listened on audiobook by the author. Heartbreaking memoir. The desriptions of domestic violence and all the ways it infiltrates a family were heavy but eye-opening.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse
Thank you to Ecco Press and NetGalley for a free e-arc of this title for review.
Natasha Trethewey was 19 when her stepfather murdered her mother. That was in 1985.
She writes, in Memorial Drive, of carrying that pain since. Of remembering -- and of jettisoning, "out of a kind of necessity, not knowing there'd be parts (she)'d want desperately to have again."
A Pulitzer-Prize winning poet, Trethewey's writing is visceral. The first half is a slow build, preparing the reader for what is to come. This is a story that will alternately make your blood run cold, and make it boil. As, perhaps, it should.
Content warning: Domestic abuse (emotional and physical), racism, grief, threat of suicide, murder (shooting)
Natasha Trethewey was 19 when her stepfather murdered her mother. That was in 1985.
She writes, in Memorial Drive, of carrying that pain since. Of remembering -- and of jettisoning, "out of a kind of necessity, not knowing there'd be parts (she)'d want desperately to have again."
A Pulitzer-Prize winning poet, Trethewey's writing is visceral. The first half is a slow build, preparing the reader for what is to come. This is a story that will alternately make your blood run cold, and make it boil. As, perhaps, it should.
Content warning: Domestic abuse (emotional and physical), racism, grief, threat of suicide, murder (shooting)
I received an Advance readers copy of this book through Edelweiss.
I heard about this book through a Book List webinar.
When Natasha Trethewey was a young women her mother was murdered by her stepfather. In this memoir she looks back at her young life through the lens of her mother's death, finding many moments that strike her as portentous, from her childhood nickname to the name of the street where her mother was murdered. In beautiful prose, this memoir offers an intimate look at grief, family, and race in the American South.
My only complaint is that it ends abruptly and I wanted more.
I heard about this book through a Book List webinar.
When Natasha Trethewey was a young women her mother was murdered by her stepfather. In this memoir she looks back at her young life through the lens of her mother's death, finding many moments that strike her as portentous, from her childhood nickname to the name of the street where her mother was murdered. In beautiful prose, this memoir offers an intimate look at grief, family, and race in the American South.
My only complaint is that it ends abruptly and I wanted more.
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
"Do you know what it means to have a wound that never heals?" (1)
It is interesting that Trethewey doesn't interview other members of her family or friends to present a fuller picture, I found myself wondering if her grandmother ever suspected the abuse or her younger brother. But ultimately this memoir centers around one person's grief, her survivor's guilt and one person's memories, a fact that I quickly grew okay with because I was wholly immersed in the beautiful prose and harrowing story. Trethewey writes passionately about grief, trauma and its impact on the body and mind, “Of course, we’re made up of what we’ve forgotten too, what we’ve tried to bury or suppress. Some forgetting is necessary and the mind works to shield us from things that are too painful; even so, some aspect of trauma lives on in the body, from which it can reemerge unexpectedly." But it also impacts us in ways we can't see or might not realize, as she writes about how her mother's death also unwittingly impacted her choice of career and subject material, "Even my mother's death is redeemed in the story of my calling, made meaningful rather than merely senseless. It's the story I tell myself to survive" (211). This memoir also struck me as particularly heartbreaking because there are so many instances where the systems failed Gwendolyn (Trethewey's mother) and her family. From the fifth grade teacher who dismissed little Natasha's story of her stepfather abusing her mother to the inadequacies of domestic violence shelters to the inadequacy and failure of our criminal justice system and piss poor gun laws. In particular when it comes to police ineptitude this memoir reminded me that these systems are not meant to protect the most vulnerable, that this country hates Black women and does little to protect domestic violence survivors. There was no logical reason for Trethewey's mother to be murdered if the system actually worked. She did everything "right", following all the steps needed to make this case a slam dunk. And yet, she's dead. As Trethewey says "they could have saved her" (205) and that fact haunts her and the reader. Stories like these also push those of us who favor abolishing the police and prisons but I personally felt this story was a damning indication that the police aren't doing what they're supposed to and neither is prison. Because Trethewey's stepfather was imprisoned before he killed her mother and it clearly didn't rehabilitate him or "scare him straight". I have an ARC version but apparently the final ends with a note that her stepfather is now free from prison, something that would give any reader pause but I hope he's receiving the mental health support he so clearly needs. And Trethewey doesn't paint him as a total villain, noting that he was a victim of trauma himself both as a Vietnam veteran and a child who witnessed abuse (this is more so hinted at in one of the phone call transcripts between Gwendolyn and Big Joe).
One of the most powerful chapters is when Trethewey turns the narrative over to her mother, acknowledging her agency by including court documents which consist of her notes on the dissolution of her marriage and transcripts of taped phone conversations with her killer. They are tough to read, (the whole book is really) but I forced myself to push through instead of taking breaks. By allowing her mother to speak for herself through the written word we are offered a complicated, fuller, but still incomplete, portrait of her mother. A woman who was brave, "I wanted to get out of this house in the clear open air and breathe. I just wanted to get out..." (187), tender but also afraid. While this is a memoir about devastating loss it also touches on a plethora of other notable topics; racism (particularly when it comes to the South's reverence of the Confederacy), being biracial, divorce, dreams, monuments, the power of literature and writing, all written about in poetic prose showcasing Trethewey's talent. It is very clear that you're reading the words of a poet, not only because the writing is luminous but also because metaphors and motifs abound. Every sentence contains meaning and many passages reflect repetition. The book also moves from first to second to third person, each narration offering a different perspective while also highlighting Trethewey's skilled literary technique.
MEMORIAL DRIVE is an impressive memoir and work of art. It is agonizing and rage inducing, a stunning monument to Trethewey's mother. There's so much to be said about grief and trauma but I found myself marveling at how Trethewey is able to use so few words to convey poignancy, the book is 211 pages of emotion. This is one of the few books, much like HEAVY, where I understand the term "book hangover" mainly because I am full of such grief and pain that I don't know how I can read anything else for the rest of the day. The events in the story obviously did not happen to me and still I feel I need time and space to process. This was my first time reading her work and I can't wait to go back and read her poetry.
It is interesting that Trethewey doesn't interview other members of her family or friends to present a fuller picture, I found myself wondering if her grandmother ever suspected the abuse or her younger brother. But ultimately this memoir centers around one person's grief, her survivor's guilt and one person's memories, a fact that I quickly grew okay with because I was wholly immersed in the beautiful prose and harrowing story. Trethewey writes passionately about grief, trauma and its impact on the body and mind, “Of course, we’re made up of what we’ve forgotten too, what we’ve tried to bury or suppress. Some forgetting is necessary and the mind works to shield us from things that are too painful; even so, some aspect of trauma lives on in the body, from which it can reemerge unexpectedly." But it also impacts us in ways we can't see or might not realize, as she writes about how her mother's death also unwittingly impacted her choice of career and subject material, "Even my mother's death is redeemed in the story of my calling, made meaningful rather than merely senseless. It's the story I tell myself to survive" (211). This memoir also struck me as particularly heartbreaking because there are so many instances where the systems failed Gwendolyn (Trethewey's mother) and her family. From the fifth grade teacher who dismissed little Natasha's story of her stepfather abusing her mother to the inadequacies of domestic violence shelters to the inadequacy and failure of our criminal justice system and piss poor gun laws. In particular when it comes to police ineptitude this memoir reminded me that these systems are not meant to protect the most vulnerable, that this country hates Black women and does little to protect domestic violence survivors. There was no logical reason for Trethewey's mother to be murdered if the system actually worked. She did everything "right", following all the steps needed to make this case a slam dunk. And yet, she's dead. As Trethewey says "they could have saved her" (205) and that fact haunts her and the reader. Stories like these also push those of us who favor abolishing the police and prisons but I personally felt this story was a damning indication that the police aren't doing what they're supposed to and neither is prison. Because Trethewey's stepfather was imprisoned before he killed her mother and it clearly didn't rehabilitate him or "scare him straight". I have an ARC version but apparently the final ends with a note that her stepfather is now free from prison, something that would give any reader pause but I hope he's receiving the mental health support he so clearly needs. And Trethewey doesn't paint him as a total villain, noting that he was a victim of trauma himself both as a Vietnam veteran and a child who witnessed abuse (this is more so hinted at in one of the phone call transcripts between Gwendolyn and Big Joe).
One of the most powerful chapters is when Trethewey turns the narrative over to her mother, acknowledging her agency by including court documents which consist of her notes on the dissolution of her marriage and transcripts of taped phone conversations with her killer. They are tough to read, (the whole book is really) but I forced myself to push through instead of taking breaks. By allowing her mother to speak for herself through the written word we are offered a complicated, fuller, but still incomplete, portrait of her mother. A woman who was brave, "I wanted to get out of this house in the clear open air and breathe. I just wanted to get out..." (187), tender but also afraid. While this is a memoir about devastating loss it also touches on a plethora of other notable topics; racism (particularly when it comes to the South's reverence of the Confederacy), being biracial, divorce, dreams, monuments, the power of literature and writing, all written about in poetic prose showcasing Trethewey's talent. It is very clear that you're reading the words of a poet, not only because the writing is luminous but also because metaphors and motifs abound. Every sentence contains meaning and many passages reflect repetition. The book also moves from first to second to third person, each narration offering a different perspective while also highlighting Trethewey's skilled literary technique.
MEMORIAL DRIVE is an impressive memoir and work of art. It is agonizing and rage inducing, a stunning monument to Trethewey's mother. There's so much to be said about grief and trauma but I found myself marveling at how Trethewey is able to use so few words to convey poignancy, the book is 211 pages of emotion. This is one of the few books, much like HEAVY, where I understand the term "book hangover" mainly because I am full of such grief and pain that I don't know how I can read anything else for the rest of the day. The events in the story obviously did not happen to me and still I feel I need time and space to process. This was my first time reading her work and I can't wait to go back and read her poetry.
Fantastic writing, similar to poetry. And a much quicker read than you would expect.
A beautifully written, heart wrenching story. Reminds us how perceptive children are, how trauma is rooted deep within a body and the absolutely horrifying reality of abuse. My heart aches for this author and her mother. The writing is so lovely, I hope it lead to some healing.
dark
emotional
fast-paced
I found Memorial Drive while I was browsing my online library for audiobooks to read. Natasha Trethewey actually used to teach at my college and I've read some of her poetry before, so I definitely wanted to pick this up. It's been a while since I've read a memoir and I'd highly recommend this one. It was definitely emotional, impactful, and complex considering the subject matter of parental death.
This is the memoir of Natasha Trethewey, who has won the Pulitzer Prize for poetry. When she was 19, her mother was murdered by her stepfather in Memorial Drive, Atlanta. Trethewey explores her own childhood growing up mixed race in the South, and her mother's life too. It explores race, familial relationships, abuse, and grief. It's a short memoir, but so focused on the lives of these two women and the trauma they experienced.
It almost feels wrong reviewing a book like this because it is about real life events, but I'll share some of my thoughts. Memorial Drive is intensely personal and definitely difficult to read. I am lucky to have not experienced anything like this and it still hit me hard. The excerpts of police records was so chilling and I genuinely felt scared hearing what her mother went through. The writing was absolutely beautiful and very poetic. If anything, I would have liked the book to be longer, but to be honest it still packed in so much emotion.
I'd highly recommend listening to the audiobook, which is narrated by the audiobook. Even though this is a short read, I was left constantly thinking about what I had just read and I think it will stick with me in a way that memoirs often do for me. Be aware of huge content warnings for parental death, murder, abuse, racism, domestic violence, and grief. It's a hard book to read, but if you're in the right headspace I'd definitely recommend it.
This is the memoir of Natasha Trethewey, who has won the Pulitzer Prize for poetry. When she was 19, her mother was murdered by her stepfather in Memorial Drive, Atlanta. Trethewey explores her own childhood growing up mixed race in the South, and her mother's life too. It explores race, familial relationships, abuse, and grief. It's a short memoir, but so focused on the lives of these two women and the trauma they experienced.
It almost feels wrong reviewing a book like this because it is about real life events, but I'll share some of my thoughts. Memorial Drive is intensely personal and definitely difficult to read. I am lucky to have not experienced anything like this and it still hit me hard. The excerpts of police records was so chilling and I genuinely felt scared hearing what her mother went through. The writing was absolutely beautiful and very poetic. If anything, I would have liked the book to be longer, but to be honest it still packed in so much emotion.
I'd highly recommend listening to the audiobook, which is narrated by the audiobook. Even though this is a short read, I was left constantly thinking about what I had just read and I think it will stick with me in a way that memoirs often do for me. Be aware of huge content warnings for parental death, murder, abuse, racism, domestic violence, and grief. It's a hard book to read, but if you're in the right headspace I'd definitely recommend it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Death of parent
emotional
sad
fast-paced
Trethewey blends the tragic with the thin string of hope so effortlessly at an attempt to understand the death of her mother. I felt her guilt and pain so viscerally. I loved seeing the journey she took to become the poet she is today and the way her mother so deeply affected her.
An easy albeit painful five-stars. Gorgeous writing. Heartbreaking content.