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3.85 AVERAGE
3.85 AVERAGE
⭐️ finished 2/5
⭐️ rating: 8/10
⭐️ takeaway: part memoir, part podcast, part friendship advice, and even part feminist theory, this book weaves a lot of different elements together. at first, i was a little bitter about the podcast vibes, even though i listened to this in audiobook form, but my experience reading (listening) made up for it. the authors, who became semi-public figures when their podcast about long distance friendships took off, describe the evolution of their friendship, the highs and lows, and discuss women showing up for each other in general. i definitely thought it was going to be kitschy and cringey (looking at you, The Art of Showing Up), but it wasn’t!! now i feel inspired to go get some friends
⭐️ rating: 8/10
⭐️ takeaway: part memoir, part podcast, part friendship advice, and even part feminist theory, this book weaves a lot of different elements together. at first, i was a little bitter about the podcast vibes, even though i listened to this in audiobook form, but my experience reading (listening) made up for it. the authors, who became semi-public figures when their podcast about long distance friendships took off, describe the evolution of their friendship, the highs and lows, and discuss women showing up for each other in general. i definitely thought it was going to be kitschy and cringey (looking at you, The Art of Showing Up), but it wasn’t!! now i feel inspired to go get some friends
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
Informative, good references, better than I expected.
I think a good non-fiction book about friendship was needed! This just isn't that book.
Perhaps if you listen to their podcast you'll feel a tighter affinity for their friendship, but I found myself not terribly invested. This was too much about their particular friendship and their feelings about one another and not enough about friendships in general.
I also firmly believe in having several close friends because the joy of friendship is you don't have to limit yourself to one close relationship. They seem to be in a mostly monogamous friendship, which is not how I experience friendships. Close friendships don't have to be all-encompassing.
This book doesn't delve much at all into the impact of how romantic relationships or growing families affect friendships. I think that is a huge part of how --especially female -- friendships evolve and change when we get older and it could have used more of that.
Also, friendships sometimes fail or change and that's OK. It's part of life. It's not the end of the world. The authors are right that friendships take effort, but I firmly believe that the effort should not be a chore. You choose your friends because you like those people. You check in with them and communicate with them because you like them! You try to be there in the tough times because they are your friends. It takes effort to be a good friend, but friendship does not need to be work.
Perhaps if you listen to their podcast you'll feel a tighter affinity for their friendship, but I found myself not terribly invested. This was too much about their particular friendship and their feelings about one another and not enough about friendships in general.
I also firmly believe in having several close friends because the joy of friendship is you don't have to limit yourself to one close relationship. They seem to be in a mostly monogamous friendship, which is not how I experience friendships. Close friendships don't have to be all-encompassing.
This book doesn't delve much at all into the impact of how romantic relationships or growing families affect friendships. I think that is a huge part of how --especially female -- friendships evolve and change when we get older and it could have used more of that.
Also, friendships sometimes fail or change and that's OK. It's part of life. It's not the end of the world. The authors are right that friendships take effort, but I firmly believe that the effort should not be a chore. You choose your friends because you like those people. You check in with them and communicate with them because you like them! You try to be there in the tough times because they are your friends. It takes effort to be a good friend, but friendship does not need to be work.
4 stars for this great exploration of friendship, a much undervalued, but essential relationship in life.
I admire the authors' willingness to acknowledge that something wasn't working and put in the work for their friendship. I wonder how many friendships could have different outcomes if both parties were willing to have such open and honest communication. It was really refreshing.
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
fast-paced
This is two books: a memoir of one very specific friendship and a sort of self-help/pop science take on friendship, mostly the former. It would have been better if it was framed solely as a memoir or had better self-help/science stuff in it. Do not recommend the audiobook. I am amazed the two authors had a successful podcast, I found their reading voice hard to listen to.
In a year where everyone feels very far away, this book felt like a hard hug. Like you know when you see your best friend for the first time in a while and they immediately grab you and you think about how you’ve been waiting so long to get grabbed like that and just like... SPECIFICALLY held, and you didn’t even know it? Like that. And then it’s also the moment after that when your friend holds you out at arm’s length and really looks at you and then says “have you been eating/sleeping/feeling okay?” or “bold choice with this haircut, huh?” or otherwise just really SEES you and doesn’t mind letting you KNOW that they’re really seeing you, and that they love you even if your bangs look stupid. That’s what this book feels like: being seen and being held, and having some firm loving sense talked into you.
Everyone should buy this book for their best friends! Big Friendship is so crucial. Thank you for writing such a beautiful, candid, and important book.
Everyone who counts friendship as an important part of life should read this book. It's the story of the authors' friendship, yes, and in that it offers so much perspective on how to be & have a friend. How a friendship starts, continues, how it might end, friendship differences, communication, race - they cover it all with honesty and humility. Especially in a season of walking through friendship changes, I'm so so grateful for this book and the way it addresses the importance of friendships for all of us.