You need to sign in or sign up before continuing.
Take a photo of a barcode or cover
3.85 AVERAGE
3.85 AVERAGE
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
I heard about this book on a podcast interview with one of the authors. It was a very interesting concept. There are so many books written about romantic relationships but rarely about friendships. Friendships play such a big part of our lives, but we don't always put the "work" in like we would with romantic relationships. The story of the two authors, their friendship, the rocky times, how they worked to fix things, were all very interesting to read. It was part memoir style, peppered with research on friendships, etc but it never felt bogged down with quotes/facts/research.
It gave me a lot to think about and I enjoyed reading the book.
It gave me a lot to think about and I enjoyed reading the book.
lighthearted
reflective
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Read for a book club. I really appreciated this take on the roles that significant friendships play in our lives.
Friendships don't get the attention that romantic and family relationships do, in society or in research. While a lot of literature exists on on navigating change and maintaining long term stability with a romantic partner, we don't receive much guidance on handling the same issues in our friendships. (And we need that guidance!) It's not in this book's scope to solve the problem, but it's a beautiful study of long-term friendship. It's technically a memoir that focuses on the friendship between the two authors, but it is relatable and broadly applicable.
Favorite moments:
- Ann and Aminatou's brief explanation of the roles friendship and marriage have played relative to one another throughout history (I would read an entire book on just this topic if it exists. Does it? Anyone?)
- Their discussion of race and its role in friendship is especially timely right now
- The concept of "stretch" in friendships; the difficult process of adapting the friendship to accommodate a life change such as parenthood or a cross-country move. So many friendships fade because we don't know how to go about stretching them. I want my friends to all read this book so that we can at least share this vocabulary and acknowledge that it's an issue we face together.
Note - This book will probably remind you of the friendships that have faded from your life and make you think about how you might have prevented the drift. My group thought it was a bittersweet read, especially in COVID times. Still highly recommend, though.
Friendships don't get the attention that romantic and family relationships do, in society or in research. While a lot of literature exists on on navigating change and maintaining long term stability with a romantic partner, we don't receive much guidance on handling the same issues in our friendships. (And we need that guidance!) It's not in this book's scope to solve the problem, but it's a beautiful study of long-term friendship. It's technically a memoir that focuses on the friendship between the two authors, but it is relatable and broadly applicable.
Favorite moments:
- Ann and Aminatou's brief explanation of the roles friendship and marriage have played relative to one another throughout history (I would read an entire book on just this topic if it exists. Does it? Anyone?)
- Their discussion of race and its role in friendship is especially timely right now
- The concept of "stretch" in friendships; the difficult process of adapting the friendship to accommodate a life change such as parenthood or a cross-country move. So many friendships fade because we don't know how to go about stretching them. I want my friends to all read this book so that we can at least share this vocabulary and acknowledge that it's an issue we face together.
Note - This book will probably remind you of the friendships that have faded from your life and make you think about how you might have prevented the drift. My group thought it was a bittersweet read, especially in COVID times. Still highly recommend, though.
I’m so blessed to have had a number of “big friendships” throughout my life. This book was given to me by one of those friends, and I’m so, so glad! It was extremely validating to read that platonic relationships can be just as - if not more - important than romantic relationships. In fact, some the most painful breaks ups I’ve experienced were with platonic friends. And I remember not knowing what to do with my feelings, because social norms dictated that I shouldn’t feel heartbroken, it’s not a big deal. But that’s not true at all. I loved learning about the importance of friendship in combatting depression, loneliness, and the toughest of life’s obstacles. I feel empowered to put as much time and energy into my platonic friends as I have previously into my romantic relationships.
Some of my favorite quotes from the book:
Some of my favorite quotes from the book:
“If you’ve been to therapy, you know that so much of the process is the therapist repeating to you the things you’ve said. It’s powerful to have your thoughts echoed back to you.”
“Being transparent with someone also means opening up about how important someone is to you as a friend - making sure you are saying to them that you value their presence in your life. Don’t just occasionally think of your friend fondly. Tell them that your life would lose meaning if they disappeared from it. Tell them you love them. Tell them exactly why you want to hold onto this friendship and make it last for the long haul.”
“I love that you’ve known every version of me. You were there at the beginning, and I want you there at the end.”
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
relaxing
fast-paced
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Boring. I wanted to quit after the first chapter, but everyone told me it was cute so I kept trying. I made it 25% through. It was 51 pages of exposition that I just couldn't bring myself to care about.