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3.85 AVERAGE
3.85 AVERAGE
This would have been a great essay. As is, the writing style is exhausting and not very good, and the information presented could have been condensed into a few pages that would actually be worthwhile. While it was interesting, and I appreciated the discussion about interracial friendships, I had to force myself to finish this.
I don't have any friendships that come even remotely close to the closeness that these two women have and this book just made me really sad about that.
lighthearted
reflective
slow-paced
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
Everyone thinks their best friendship is funnier, more intimate, and more withstanding than all others. Unfortunately, that resulted in me not being interested in the storyline about the two authors’ relationship. I loved the brief insights on how hard it can be when one person feels the need for a friendship to “stretch” and evolve to fit a new reality, but the other doesn’t. The final chapter had a beautiful sentiment about how the absence of inevitable pain (loss of a loved one, illness, financial burden etc) underscores the importance of investing in Big Friendships, partially to have a support system when that pain strikes. I wish this had more research on how to uphold platonic relationships to the same level as romantic— and how to convince others to do the same. And why they are deserving/in need of the same attention we give romantic partners. The fear of having a hard convo with a friend because they don’t “have” to stay, like a spouse is implied to, really resonated.
It did make me want to call all my friends and tell them I love them and also how they hurt my feelings one time two years ago lol
It did make me want to call all my friends and tell them I love them and also how they hurt my feelings one time two years ago lol
I had not listened to the authors' podcast prior to reading this book, and I still found this to be heartwarming, engaging, and inspiring. This book makes the argument that friendships are worthy of the same investment and care that romantic relationships are traditionally given, and perhaps even more so. Ultimately, the authors make a solid case for valuing all of our relationships, creating honest and open spaces within them, and following up and through with the people that are important to us, even if society doesn't prioritize this in real, tangible ways for platonic friendships. If you're looking for a more analytical, research-based book, this isn't it; however, they do cite some interesting researchers and scholarship that I plan to review on my own as this is a topic I'm currently interested in. I also appreciated the attention paid to race dynamics in friendships which is a much-needed emphasis and encourages opening the door to these kinds of conversations in your own friendships. Definitely worth a read if you're at a place in your life where friendship is becoming more or less important, you're looking around wondering where your friends went, or you're questioning what friendship looks like in a new stage in your life.
informative
reflective
medium-paced
reflective
medium-paced
Talk about a misleading description…
I picked up Big Friendship under the assumption that this would be about the history or science of friendships and why they are important. That was mistake number one… I didn’t know who these authors were. I thought they were specialists or something, not random podcast hosts. But boy… did they not hold back turning a book that is supposed to be about friendships into the most self-important, misleading, mentally exhausting thing I have run across in quite some time.
First, let’s talk the self-importance. Point blank, this is not a book about friendships, this is an incredibly fragmented, disorganized, poorly written dual memoir. Both Sow and Friedman take turns lamenting over their individual lives (starting from elementary school). They spoke about their personal goals, dreams, menstrual flows, careers, “Shine Theory”, and every damn minuscule interaction they have had with one another (and beyond) in very full detail. And I am so sorry to have to say this… but I literally couldn’t care less about either of their life stories. They push every tiny little personal detail with the caliber of an A-list celeb, while in reality nobody is here for this…
This book is so fragmented and transitions were nearly schizophrenic in nature. You’d go from the general memoir story to the history of marriage then back to their memoir then over to the history of racism in America? The disorganized hops often felt like whiplash (and that’s if the constant shift from 1st to 3rd person didn’t get you first).
Finally, I wouldn’t have minded so much if the friendship story was strong… but these two are just exhausting. They get mad at each other over the silliest things and make mountains out of molehills left and right. Being a liberal millennial myself, I don’t want to discredit these authors experiences and feelings…but these two often went into “chronically online” territory. Being friends with either of them seems like it is nothing but constant walking on eggshells, lest you do or say something to offend. I really think these two need to cut ties because this friendship sounds more exhausting than enjoyable. They say no good relationship is easy, but I disagree. I think relationships and friendships are meant to be easy and carefree… and it isn’t hard to do so as long as you don’t let every minuscule thing upset you.
I don’t know Sow and Friedman. I have never heard of their podcast. But I absolutely would not be taking any friendship advice from them…
I picked up Big Friendship under the assumption that this would be about the history or science of friendships and why they are important. That was mistake number one… I didn’t know who these authors were. I thought they were specialists or something, not random podcast hosts. But boy… did they not hold back turning a book that is supposed to be about friendships into the most self-important, misleading, mentally exhausting thing I have run across in quite some time.
First, let’s talk the self-importance. Point blank, this is not a book about friendships, this is an incredibly fragmented, disorganized, poorly written dual memoir. Both Sow and Friedman take turns lamenting over their individual lives (starting from elementary school). They spoke about their personal goals, dreams, menstrual flows, careers, “Shine Theory”, and every damn minuscule interaction they have had with one another (and beyond) in very full detail. And I am so sorry to have to say this… but I literally couldn’t care less about either of their life stories. They push every tiny little personal detail with the caliber of an A-list celeb, while in reality nobody is here for this…
This book is so fragmented and transitions were nearly schizophrenic in nature. You’d go from the general memoir story to the history of marriage then back to their memoir then over to the history of racism in America? The disorganized hops often felt like whiplash (and that’s if the constant shift from 1st to 3rd person didn’t get you first).
Finally, I wouldn’t have minded so much if the friendship story was strong… but these two are just exhausting. They get mad at each other over the silliest things and make mountains out of molehills left and right. Being a liberal millennial myself, I don’t want to discredit these authors experiences and feelings…but these two often went into “chronically online” territory. Being friends with either of them seems like it is nothing but constant walking on eggshells, lest you do or say something to offend. I really think these two need to cut ties because this friendship sounds more exhausting than enjoyable. They say no good relationship is easy, but I disagree. I think relationships and friendships are meant to be easy and carefree… and it isn’t hard to do so as long as you don’t let every minuscule thing upset you.
I don’t know Sow and Friedman. I have never heard of their podcast. But I absolutely would not be taking any friendship advice from them…
Laughed and cried. A special kind of love; friendships
An important read on why and how we should center some of the most important relationships in our lives: our friends. This book gave me a lot of actionable tools to keep my Big Friendships strong, and to keep my values and priorities in line. It also gave me some language to help describe the tougher parts of friendships as life throws us curveballs, like stretching. Number one takeaway: Have the hard conversations.