Reviews with content warning for War - What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

Transformative book, for both the author, and any reader open to what she is telling us. Highly likely to be triggering to anyone with cptsd. I had to set it down and take a break multiple times. But I also learned so much, about myself and about others. the audio version is well-done too. Foo works in radio and podcasts, and you can tell. Hugest recommendation! just please check content warnings first.

Thank you to #NetGalley and Ballantine Books for an advance copy of #WhatMyBonesKnow by Stephanie Foo.

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chluless's review

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dark hopeful informative reflective

4.0

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vk124's review against another edition

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challenging emotional informative sad tense slow-paced

2.75

I struggled to complete this, largely due to the subject matter. I found Foo's experiences to be deeply difficult. Like Foo, I had heard research on what happens to those who inherit trauma or experience long-term trauma, with regard to higher chances for disease and shortened life. It all felt bleak and dismal. The most hope comes in the later chapters. Here, paths to healing are listed. Additionally, Foo describes her reactions to the Covid pandémica, for which her CPTSD left her highly equipped. I felt some relief to know it wasn't all doom and gloom.

If you do not care for strong language, this may not be the book for you.

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wildwinger's review

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challenging dark hopeful informative reflective slow-paced

3.5

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crybabybea's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

Amazing. I'm learning this year that I really enjoy nonfiction written by journalists, and Stephanie Foo is no exception. Her writing is accessible and engaging, seamlessly blending personal anecdotes, interviews, facts, and studies to support her main thesis. Foo's intelligence and self-reflection shine through her writing. Her clever humor and insightful conclusions were inspiring. The book feels like a journey alongside her, offering lessons in healing from trauma.

This is a must-read if you struggle with C-PTSD, or even if you just struggle with trauma or a different mental illness that affects your daily life. Even if you're familiar with C-PTSD, there's much to learn. The book's sad, hard-to-get-through moments are balanced with heartening and meditative insights, showing that healing is non-linear but ultimately intensely rewarding.

Foo's perspective as an Asian-American adds depth to her memoir, offering compassion for her family's experiences and the broader Asian-American community. She explores her family's past, connecting her trauma with collective experiences, and acknowledges the complexities beyond stereotypes.

I especially liked the penultimate part, which focused on her sessions with Dr. Jacob Ham. She unlocked a lot of self-discovery by having an open, loving, accepting relationship with her therapist. It was so heartfelt and inspiring to see that relationship blossom and ultimately help Stephanie recover and learn to accept love and kindness rather than self-flagellating and sinking into shame spirals. He emphasized the importance of reconnection and repair and revealed to Stephanie (and to me as a reader) that regulating your emotions and triggers is just the first step in a super complicated dance involving complex relationships and the damage and repair that happens in human connection.

The final couple of pages had me a complete sobbing mess. I really appreciated Stephanie's choice to end the book with a self-reflection about accepting her C-PTSD for what it is; not something that makes her broken and unlovable, but something that makes her who she is.

I highly recommend the audiobook, narrated by the author so it feels intimate and personal. She also included the original audio recordings of her sessions with Dr. Ham, which was a really neat addition that made the audio experience feel more transformative.

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emmasmidnightlibrary's review

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challenging dark emotional hopeful informative reflective sad tense medium-paced

5.0

As someone who has cptsd herself, this was an extremely validating and comforting read, despite the discomfort of the story itself. Of course, it took a decent amount of emotional work to get through, but I found it very worthwhile. Foo captures so many relatable moments- the process of learning about your diagnosis, the frustration at how little information is out there, the quest to understand yourself in this new helpful and terrifying frame. It was paced so well that I didn't have to live too long in any memory, and just beautifully written. I volleyed between reading the physical book and listening to the audiobook, and thought the audiobook was especially great in the later 30s chapters. Her therapy sessions were included in some of those tracks and you can hear them breaking down some very relatable things. I'd recommend this book to anyone with cptsd in a heartbeat.

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