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3.63 AVERAGE
3.63 AVERAGE
Not a traditional memoir, but still enjoyable. If you're going into this thinking it's going to be a linear retelling of her music career, etc, you're going to be disappointed. Phair, instead, gives us the "horror stories" that make up a life, which might not necessarily be horrific in the grand scheme of things, but the ones where the lingering thoughts stay with you - shame, or remorse, or regret. I found it relatable, and while the tangents were occasionally annoying, I thought this was pretty good, overall.
I'm a huge Liz Phair fan, so obviously biased. This touched on everything from her adventures and abuse in the music industry to her son to grappling with Ryan Adams' sexual abuse allegations and #MeToo to a crush she developed on a Trader Joe's cashier after a break-up (I actually really liked that chapter). I'm not sure if this would be of much interest to people who weren't Liz Phair fans already. But what I really appreciated was her willingness to express doubt, guilt, criticism, uncertainty about her own actions and life. It's not some "hero narrative" memoir. She's got a sharp sense of morality and is willing to put herself under examination along with everyone else. At the same time, there's a warmth, humor, and sincerity that makes it really charming. Like her best songs, it doesn't shy away from the dark stuff but delivers it with a wry, human sensibility.
As a Liz Phair fan, I was terribly excited for this book, yet nervous it may not meet my expectations. Right out of the gate, it was more wonderful than I could have imagined!
This book cracked my heart open in the best possible way. It’s not a linear memoir about becoming a rockstar. It’s a collection of skillfully written essays about being a human who just happens to also be a rockstar. The stories are moving in every way, sometimes I laughed out loud, sometimes I almost cried. As with her songwriting, Liz's prose is emotional, raw, and honest. She perfectly captures what it's like to be a women who doubts herself at times, who owns her sexuality at other times, and who in general just wants to love and be loved. As a fan, it was tough for me to hear about the times when Liz felt isolated and ostracized for being the way she is, which is why her music has always resonated with me so much.
This is a must read for her fans. It will also be enjoyable for readers of memoir and personal essays.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Random House for my advanced copy in exchange for my honest review.
This book cracked my heart open in the best possible way. It’s not a linear memoir about becoming a rockstar. It’s a collection of skillfully written essays about being a human who just happens to also be a rockstar. The stories are moving in every way, sometimes I laughed out loud, sometimes I almost cried. As with her songwriting, Liz's prose is emotional, raw, and honest. She perfectly captures what it's like to be a women who doubts herself at times, who owns her sexuality at other times, and who in general just wants to love and be loved. As a fan, it was tough for me to hear about the times when Liz felt isolated and ostracized for being the way she is, which is why her music has always resonated with me so much.
This is a must read for her fans. It will also be enjoyable for readers of memoir and personal essays.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Random House for my advanced copy in exchange for my honest review.
I didn't find this very engaging or illuminating.I also found some of Phair's seemingly off the cuff asides irritating,like when she describes her neighbour as 'really attractive when she wears make up' and also says she feels sorry for her because she isn't married and doesn't have children,really disappointing.
This is imperfect, but ends up being pretty meaningful anyway. I would've skipped it because I really don't like celebrity memoirs even when they're celebrities I like. Also I haven't paid her newer stuff any attention in the last decade or so even though I loved her something fierce in that pivotal high school/college-age time that she reached so many of us.
The NPR writeup changed my mind because the quotes were so powerful. I don't know why I'm surprised, her songs were always like that, with some totally gut-punching lines. So it wasn't what I expected, in a good way, because it's not a musician memoir - although there are some such stories here, actually my least favorite among the topics covered. The general concept is parsing the awful things we do to each other on a smaller scale, the everyday horror stories that end up lingering longer even than the big obvious ones: "Horror can be found in brief interactions that are as cumulatively powerful as the splashy heart-stoppers, because that’s where we live most of our lives."
It made me remember why I loved her in the first place. And something I was completely unprepared for (sorry Liz, this is about me now): I even felt some little forgotten piece of myself coming back, with the thoughts or memories she stirred up, or my own horror stories that mirrored something in hers (those things that become “haunting melodies I hear over and over again in my head”); or in the events, emotions, and interactions that affected her and I could feel why so viscerally. I am so grateful for that. Whatever flaws this has, it's incredible art that can bring you back something of yourself and this did it.
She's a bit more into the woo-woo than I would imagine considering how grounded and realistic she comes off elsewhere, there are a few too many scenes on airplanes, it can be melodramatic (but like, who among us doesn't have those melodramatic moments where some emotion unexpectedly overwhelms reason and before you know it you're forever scarred by something small or stupid), and I really wish editors would go a little harder on celebrities or even big authors - I get the impression they're afraid to touch their work sometimes, and this could've benefited from some editing tweaks (can't we all just agree to banish the adding of extra letters to a word for emphasis? We're collectively better than that!)
But I was so moved by it overall. I think this'll speak to sensitive, empathic types. It's confessional, funny, silly, painfully honest even when it makes her look bad or shallow, and... strangely healing? Is that what I'm trying to describe here? I'm not sure. But a lot of it resonated, sometimes surprisingly so. I'm so glad she wrote it.
Some favorite lines out of a bunch of them:
We’re afraid we will be defined by our worst decisions instead of our best.
We can be monsters, we human beings, in the most offhand and cavalier ways.
I wrecked my marriage, and he wrecked his—essentially for nothing.
The only thing you know for sure is that you can’t go back the way you came. You must go forward, or sideways, or up, or down; anywhere except home again, because that’s not your home anymore. You are temporarily homeless. Losing love can turn you into a ghost in your own life. You go to all the same places, do the same things, but you’re not really there. You’re surrounded by friends and family, people with whom you intimately belong, but because your heart is broken, you listen to their laughter and conversation as if from a great distance.
Time will refasten what’s come unmoored inside you.
The NPR writeup changed my mind because the quotes were so powerful. I don't know why I'm surprised, her songs were always like that, with some totally gut-punching lines. So it wasn't what I expected, in a good way, because it's not a musician memoir - although there are some such stories here, actually my least favorite among the topics covered. The general concept is parsing the awful things we do to each other on a smaller scale, the everyday horror stories that end up lingering longer even than the big obvious ones: "Horror can be found in brief interactions that are as cumulatively powerful as the splashy heart-stoppers, because that’s where we live most of our lives."
It made me remember why I loved her in the first place. And something I was completely unprepared for (sorry Liz, this is about me now): I even felt some little forgotten piece of myself coming back, with the thoughts or memories she stirred up, or my own horror stories that mirrored something in hers (those things that become “haunting melodies I hear over and over again in my head”); or in the events, emotions, and interactions that affected her and I could feel why so viscerally. I am so grateful for that. Whatever flaws this has, it's incredible art that can bring you back something of yourself and this did it.
She's a bit more into the woo-woo than I would imagine considering how grounded and realistic she comes off elsewhere, there are a few too many scenes on airplanes, it can be melodramatic (but like, who among us doesn't have those melodramatic moments where some emotion unexpectedly overwhelms reason and before you know it you're forever scarred by something small or stupid), and I really wish editors would go a little harder on celebrities or even big authors - I get the impression they're afraid to touch their work sometimes, and this could've benefited from some editing tweaks (can't we all just agree to banish the adding of extra letters to a word for emphasis? We're collectively better than that!)
But I was so moved by it overall. I think this'll speak to sensitive, empathic types. It's confessional, funny, silly, painfully honest even when it makes her look bad or shallow, and... strangely healing? Is that what I'm trying to describe here? I'm not sure. But a lot of it resonated, sometimes surprisingly so. I'm so glad she wrote it.
Some favorite lines out of a bunch of them:
We’re afraid we will be defined by our worst decisions instead of our best.
We can be monsters, we human beings, in the most offhand and cavalier ways.
I wrecked my marriage, and he wrecked his—essentially for nothing.
The only thing you know for sure is that you can’t go back the way you came. You must go forward, or sideways, or up, or down; anywhere except home again, because that’s not your home anymore. You are temporarily homeless. Losing love can turn you into a ghost in your own life. You go to all the same places, do the same things, but you’re not really there. You’re surrounded by friends and family, people with whom you intimately belong, but because your heart is broken, you listen to their laughter and conversation as if from a great distance.
Time will refasten what’s come unmoored inside you.
Thank you to the publisher, via NetGalley, for providing me with an arc for review. This has in no way influenced my opinion.
This is not your typical rock memoir, but it is enjoyable in its original take on the genre. This is a, non-linear, collection of essays of events of varying import in Phair's life that have shaped her life and worldview, often in unexpected ways.
This was a thought provoking read, best digested slowly - I would recommend.
This is not your typical rock memoir, but it is enjoyable in its original take on the genre. This is a, non-linear, collection of essays of events of varying import in Phair's life that have shaped her life and worldview, often in unexpected ways.
This was a thought provoking read, best digested slowly - I would recommend.
This book started out well, and then quickly devolved into a mess. The "theme" is inconsistent and some of the stories felt like high school creative writing assignments. The takeaways were often forced and awkward. Liz Phair clearly comes from an incredible amount of privilege, but goes to great pains to try and refute this. She's pretty actively UNfeminist in a lot of her thinking. There's a cringe-inducing story that tackles race and aggressively misses any point except trying to paint herself as a good white liberal (spoiler: it fails).
The only reason I'm giving this 2 stars is because there were 3 or 4 well-written stories (out of 20, iirc).
The only reason I'm giving this 2 stars is because there were 3 or 4 well-written stories (out of 20, iirc).
dark
emotional
funny
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
Not a linear memoir, but a series of essays touching on different points in Phair's life. This isn't a tell-ale, but it's honest and Phair is a very good writer. Good insights into her life as a musician, mother, and woman.
Many on this site wanted a biography and to them I say GO LISTEN TO EXILE IN GUYVILE and/or download some back issues of Magnet.