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1.84k reviews for:
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
Gary Chapman
3.99 AVERAGE
1.84k reviews for:
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
Gary Chapman
3.99 AVERAGE
It was really interesting to know the languages. I hadn't really thought about it, but it makes sense. I still don't know what is mine though, I think it might be Quality time, but I'm not sure.
I’ve always heard of the five love languages, but had never done much reading about them. It’s definitely an interesting take on the psychology of what makes us feel loved or how we show love. This was a super quick read (I listened to the audiobook) and there were some good points that may be helpful in relationships, both romantic and otherwise. This book had a lot of religious undertones, which I didn’t really like or think were necessary. Not rating this since it’s a self-help book.
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Très bon livre sur l'Amour. Bien qu'il fasse parti de notre quotidien et représente toute notre vie, nous en savons si peu et sommes bien maladroit au moment de l'exprimer. C'est un très bon livre pout renforcer ses relations et mieux exprimer nos sentiments aux personnes importantes.
They say that the best books you read are the books that tell you what you already know. I always believed in that, and this book is a live example of this idea.
This is a non fiction book about the art of expressing love to your significant other. The main idea in it is that people are different, and they like to be loved in different ways, and in order to make your marriage or relationship works, you have to know how your spouse like to be loved, or in another word, you have to know her/his Love language.
The book explores 5 languages of love, and as the author believes, each one of us have a primary love language, this means that we feel loved if our partner expressed his/her love to us specifically using this language.
The Author mentioned that the five languages are:
1.words of affirmation;
2.quality time;
3.receiving gifts;
4.acts of service;
5.physical touch.
And throughout the book he explained how to deal with each one of them, and how to know your and your spouse's language in order to have a healthy happy marriage.
I loved this book so much, this is one of the few self help or non fiction books that i found really helpful and straight to the point without much of shiny big words.
I'm glad this was the first book i read after i got married.
Recommended ! :)
This is a non fiction book about the art of expressing love to your significant other. The main idea in it is that people are different, and they like to be loved in different ways, and in order to make your marriage or relationship works, you have to know how your spouse like to be loved, or in another word, you have to know her/his Love language.
The book explores 5 languages of love, and as the author believes, each one of us have a primary love language, this means that we feel loved if our partner expressed his/her love to us specifically using this language.
The Author mentioned that the five languages are:
1.words of affirmation;
2.quality time;
3.receiving gifts;
4.acts of service;
5.physical touch.
And throughout the book he explained how to deal with each one of them, and how to know your and your spouse's language in order to have a healthy happy marriage.
I loved this book so much, this is one of the few self help or non fiction books that i found really helpful and straight to the point without much of shiny big words.
I'm glad this was the first book i read after i got married.
Recommended ! :)
What is with problematic men writing about things they know little about? This book had me saying “Oh god” and not in a praise the lord fashion. This veiled attempt at rooted misogyny was made prevalent at every turn. I understand this book was first published over 30 years ago and times change but it had been redone and republished several times and yet the message still remains that it must be “man and wife” with zero inclusion of any relationship.
I admit I did learn a couple of things including the first couple years of a relationship are the infatuation period and that the real act of loving someone comes after this. And that each person had a primary love language with different dialects which can be hard to decipher but with knowledge of the five love languages it can be helped. Although the examples are horribly sexist and imply stereotypes well past their expiration date. It doesn’t take long to find an example either like how a
woman’s sex drive is linked to emotions whereas a man’s is based on his primal “needs” and sperm cell buildup??? Utter bullshit. This book is just a bible thumper’s wet dream as it only furthers some idiotic beliefs and again misogynistic rhetoric that should be left in the stone ages.
Don’t get me started on the “experiment” he asked one of his clients to engage in. She was in an extremely unhealthy relationship with her husband who treated her like dirt and so he asked her to basically throw aside all boundaries, accept his comments as “information” and to initiate sex even though she feels used. He said “You will probably have to rely heavily upon your faith in God in order to do this” which crossed so many lines and feels so wrong. Like how can a therapist recommend such a thing?
It was a book designed to be easily digested by the masses based on how infantile the language used is and how small the book is at only 188 pages or so. I found there to be many instances where elaboration on thoughts could have been added or quite frankly worded or rephrased much better.
The core of this ideology is great. I can see why the five love languages has stuck around for so long as many can easily grip the concept and take actionable steps to improve their love lives without much thought. But the execution and bible-loving aspect to it should not exist or at least attempt to be less biased, more inclusive of all relationship types and be rid of sexist comments which it is absolutely stuffed to the gills with. It doesn’t help anyone - actually it takes society a back.
I also find it very ironic that in his suggestions in order to fix the problem is to basically “Let’s go back to the way things were when we dated where we did things for each other” which he explicitly said in the beginning is only the “in-love stage and is written off as “obsession” versus actual love. This period according to him lasts about 2 years. So the whole point of this book is rather ridiculous in that he defeats his own point.
I cannot in good conscience recommend this book to anyone with half a brain cell. I have never even written a review on Goodreads until this book was given to me. I was excited to read it at first as I had heard of the five love languages for years and how deciphering them can be helpful to building healthy relationships but this is not what I expected in the slightest. Leave church and state separate for the love of all that is holy.
I admit I did learn a couple of things including the first couple years of a relationship are the infatuation period and that the real act of loving someone comes after this. And that each person had a primary love language with different dialects which can be hard to decipher but with knowledge of the five love languages it can be helped. Although the examples are horribly sexist and imply stereotypes well past their expiration date. It doesn’t take long to find an example either like how a
woman’s sex drive is linked to emotions whereas a man’s is based on his primal “needs” and sperm cell buildup??? Utter bullshit. This book is just a bible thumper’s wet dream as it only furthers some idiotic beliefs and again misogynistic rhetoric that should be left in the stone ages.
Don’t get me started on the “experiment” he asked one of his clients to engage in. She was in an extremely unhealthy relationship with her husband who treated her like dirt and so he asked her to basically throw aside all boundaries, accept his comments as “information” and to initiate sex even though she feels used. He said “You will probably have to rely heavily upon your faith in God in order to do this” which crossed so many lines and feels so wrong. Like how can a therapist recommend such a thing?
It was a book designed to be easily digested by the masses based on how infantile the language used is and how small the book is at only 188 pages or so. I found there to be many instances where elaboration on thoughts could have been added or quite frankly worded or rephrased much better.
The core of this ideology is great. I can see why the five love languages has stuck around for so long as many can easily grip the concept and take actionable steps to improve their love lives without much thought. But the execution and bible-loving aspect to it should not exist or at least attempt to be less biased, more inclusive of all relationship types and be rid of sexist comments which it is absolutely stuffed to the gills with. It doesn’t help anyone - actually it takes society a back.
I also find it very ironic that in his suggestions in order to fix the problem is to basically “Let’s go back to the way things were when we dated where we did things for each other” which he explicitly said in the beginning is only the “in-love stage and is written off as “obsession” versus actual love. This period according to him lasts about 2 years. So the whole point of this book is rather ridiculous in that he defeats his own point.
I cannot in good conscience recommend this book to anyone with half a brain cell. I have never even written a review on Goodreads until this book was given to me. I was excited to read it at first as I had heard of the five love languages for years and how deciphering them can be helpful to building healthy relationships but this is not what I expected in the slightest. Leave church and state separate for the love of all that is holy.
I wish this book had stopped right before chapter 10. I could have done without the rest of the book from that point. Two things happen in those chapters.
1. A man tells his wife he no longer loves her and is going to leave. She is devastated. This example is that he is really no longer "in love" and has actually found a lover that allows him to feel "in love."
Long story short, his love ends up finding out he is an annoying worm and ends the relationship/affair and poor cheating worm is devastated because he was sooooo in lurveeeee with her. It is at THIS point that he decides "heck, maybe I will give marriage counseling a try to see if I can salvage my marriage and not put my children through a divorce now that chickiepoo no longer lurveeeees me."
Becky, you should have just left his ass. You deserve better.
2. A woman no longer feels positive feelings towards her husband because he tells her he hates her and has absolutely no interest in her. He curses her and mistreats her. He will not agree to counseling because naturally he doesn't have a problem; she has a problem. Advice is to really lay on his love language thick even if he is not willing to participate in working on the marriage and see if he becomes responsive. I. Just. Can't. Even.
I was in this marriage. I want to share with you two books that I bought towards the end of my marriage because I was trying to do anything I could to salvage it.
Book #1: How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
Book #2: It Takes One to Tango
No, I am not making these titles up. Looking back, I am appalled that I would have done anything for someone who was only willing to do nothing. Maybe the two points above are triggers for me due to my experience but man, people deserve better, don't they?
Moving on to the positive of this book - because I didn't one star it, right? I actually really liked this book.
I bought this because I am less than three months from getting married (again). I want this to work. I have found someone who communicates with me, and I want it to stay that way. I want to communicate my needs; I want to understand his. I'm trying to be proactive and not reactive.
There was a lot in here that really made sense. We found our love languages easily. We talked about the specifics of what means a lot to us, what makes us feel loved, what would keep our "love tank" full. We probably could have guessed, but there was a lot of affirmation in here where I'd read and say, "Tell me if this doesn't sound just like me/you/us!"
So it wasn't quite like this:
But it was a lot of this:
3 Stars
1. A man tells his wife he no longer loves her and is going to leave. She is devastated. This example is that he is really no longer "in love" and has actually found a lover that allows him to feel "in love."
Long story short, his love ends up finding out he is an annoying worm and ends the relationship/affair and poor cheating worm is devastated because he was sooooo in lurveeeee with her. It is at THIS point that he decides "heck, maybe I will give marriage counseling a try to see if I can salvage my marriage and not put my children through a divorce now that chickiepoo no longer lurveeeees me."
Becky, you should have just left his ass. You deserve better.
2. A woman no longer feels positive feelings towards her husband because he tells her he hates her and has absolutely no interest in her. He curses her and mistreats her. He will not agree to counseling because naturally he doesn't have a problem; she has a problem. Advice is to really lay on his love language thick even if he is not willing to participate in working on the marriage and see if he becomes responsive. I. Just. Can't. Even.
I was in this marriage. I want to share with you two books that I bought towards the end of my marriage because I was trying to do anything I could to salvage it.
Book #1: How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
Book #2: It Takes One to Tango
No, I am not making these titles up. Looking back, I am appalled that I would have done anything for someone who was only willing to do nothing. Maybe the two points above are triggers for me due to my experience but man, people deserve better, don't they?
Moving on to the positive of this book - because I didn't one star it, right? I actually really liked this book.
I bought this because I am less than three months from getting married (again). I want this to work. I have found someone who communicates with me, and I want it to stay that way. I want to communicate my needs; I want to understand his. I'm trying to be proactive and not reactive.
There was a lot in here that really made sense. We found our love languages easily. We talked about the specifics of what means a lot to us, what makes us feel loved, what would keep our "love tank" full. We probably could have guessed, but there was a lot of affirmation in here where I'd read and say, "Tell me if this doesn't sound just like me/you/us!"
So it wasn't quite like this:
But it was a lot of this:
3 Stars
Thanks to this book, I am now fluent in 4/5 love languages. Thanks, Gary!
I think this is an ingenious method to enhancing a relationship: Boil down interactions into digestible, icon-friendly acts of love and figure out which one you partner speaks. Do the things associated with that language and boom - love tank filled. Everyone can benefit from this.
The love tank was another useful piece of imagery and I use it liberally: "If you don't talk with me here at dinner, it will rupture my love tank. So anyway, here are all the playoff scenarios for the Chiefs..."
I think this is an ingenious method to enhancing a relationship: Boil down interactions into digestible, icon-friendly acts of love and figure out which one you partner speaks. Do the things associated with that language and boom - love tank filled. Everyone can benefit from this.
The love tank was another useful piece of imagery and I use it liberally: "If you don't talk with me here at dinner, it will rupture my love tank. So anyway, here are all the playoff scenarios for the Chiefs..."