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arooshadehghan's review against another edition
4.0
اگرچه این کتاب به عنوان یک رمان شناخته میشه اما به نظر من، بیشتر روانشناسانه و مشاوره‌گونه‌ست.
خواندنش خالی از لطف نیست و قطعا کمک می‌کنه تا نه فقط همسر، که همه‌ی اطرافیانمون رو با دید تازه‌ای نگاه کنیم، اشتباهاتمون رو بپذیریم، بخشنده‌تر باشیم و آدم‌ها رو براساس تصوراتمون داوری نکنیم.
خواندنش خالی از لطف نیست و قطعا کمک می‌کنه تا نه فقط همسر، که همه‌ی اطرافیانمون رو با دید تازه‌ای نگاه کنیم، اشتباهاتمون رو بپذیریم، بخشنده‌تر باشیم و آدم‌ها رو براساس تصوراتمون داوری نکنیم.
ar_jun's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
angushchan's review against another edition
3.0
Reminds me of spam emails you receive from a favourite store.
Throughout the book, you’ll occasionally come across something that is compelling and you leave the chapter coming away with something somewhat useful. Other times, it’s interrupted by junky convoluted paragraphs written by a guy who has seemingly stumbled upon a thesaurus for the first time.
Throughout the book, you’ll occasionally come across something that is compelling and you leave the chapter coming away with something somewhat useful. Other times, it’s interrupted by junky convoluted paragraphs written by a guy who has seemingly stumbled upon a thesaurus for the first time.
jstrudell's review against another edition
4.0
I learned a lot about myself and relationships. The relationship depicted in this book is raw, real, and honest. I highly recommend this book for everyone because it gives a real idea of what relationships are like.
natashakoli's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
anarys_b's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
The finest book out there for a 17-year-old me
mikaelaw's review against another edition
5.0
Second read of this one. Themes of long term relationship / marriage and the experiences that arise that are both exceptionally common and also rarely discussed. Learned a lot both times I've read it.
bellaksk's review against another edition
4.0
Alain de Botton is one of our most charming contemporary philosophers. He's at his best when offering insight on the trials of mundane, everyday life, and he has a truly lovely writing style. I often recommend his books for those moments when you're feeling a little lost and confused, and you're sure you must be getting everything wrong. He's got a reassuring way of making you feel wonderfully ordinary.
'The Course of Love' is a novel about a fictional couple, Kirsten and Rabih, and the central premise is, as the title suggests, that the course of love never did run smooth. De Botton follows their journey, from meeting, dating, moving in together, marrying, having children, secret affairs, and marriage counselling. This is not always a fairytale romance, but nor is it doomed to failure either, despite its challenges. It's a real relationship that ebbs and flows.
Kirsten and Rabih have admirable traits, but also glaring faults that Botton traces back to important moments in their respective childhoods. For me, their most defining characteristics are how they respond to being hurt: "Rabih anxiously attacks; Kirsten avoidantly withdraws." However, the more Kirsten withdraws, the more Rabih anxiously attacks, and it takes some work for them to find their way back to each other. De Botton helps you to see both sides of each argument; sometimes each of them believe they're the ones in the right, and the strange thing is, they both are - and yet they're both often in the wrong too. Just like our own relationships, theirs is a complex negotiation. As De Botton writes,
"Rabih recognises that it's a mere sleight of language that allows him to maintain that he has been married only once. What has conveniently looked like a single relationship in fact sits across so many evolutions, disconnections, renegotiations, intervals, distance and emotional homecomings that he has in truth gone through at least a dozen divorces and remarriages - just to the same person."
De Botton is a really gentle, kind narrator; even when his characters do horrible things, you can tell he has an enduring affection for them. One can't help but empathise with Rabih and Kirsten and want the best for them, both as individuals and as a couple.
Threaded through the fiction are little snippets of philosophy in italics relating to the characters' current situation, and they're always incredibly insightful and poignant, and often funny too. One of my favourites is this little tidbit about sulking:
"At the heart of a sulk lies a confusing mixture of intense anger and an equally intense desire not to communicate what one is angry about. The sulker both desperately needs the other person to understand and yet remains utterly committed to doing nothing to help them do so. The very need to explain forms the kernel of the insult: if the partner requires an explanation, he or she is clearly not worthy of one. We should add that it is a privilege to be the recipient of a sulk: it means the other person respects and trusts us enough to think we should understand their unspoken hurt. It is one of the odder gifts of love."
If you have an interest in philosophy and psychology, there'll be something for you in this book. De Botton writes beautifully, and I had several revelations about my own behaviour and relationships while reading 'The Course of Love'.
'The Course of Love' is a novel about a fictional couple, Kirsten and Rabih, and the central premise is, as the title suggests, that the course of love never did run smooth. De Botton follows their journey, from meeting, dating, moving in together, marrying, having children, secret affairs, and marriage counselling. This is not always a fairytale romance, but nor is it doomed to failure either, despite its challenges. It's a real relationship that ebbs and flows.
Kirsten and Rabih have admirable traits, but also glaring faults that Botton traces back to important moments in their respective childhoods. For me, their most defining characteristics are how they respond to being hurt: "Rabih anxiously attacks; Kirsten avoidantly withdraws." However, the more Kirsten withdraws, the more Rabih anxiously attacks, and it takes some work for them to find their way back to each other. De Botton helps you to see both sides of each argument; sometimes each of them believe they're the ones in the right, and the strange thing is, they both are - and yet they're both often in the wrong too. Just like our own relationships, theirs is a complex negotiation. As De Botton writes,
"Rabih recognises that it's a mere sleight of language that allows him to maintain that he has been married only once. What has conveniently looked like a single relationship in fact sits across so many evolutions, disconnections, renegotiations, intervals, distance and emotional homecomings that he has in truth gone through at least a dozen divorces and remarriages - just to the same person."
De Botton is a really gentle, kind narrator; even when his characters do horrible things, you can tell he has an enduring affection for them. One can't help but empathise with Rabih and Kirsten and want the best for them, both as individuals and as a couple.
Threaded through the fiction are little snippets of philosophy in italics relating to the characters' current situation, and they're always incredibly insightful and poignant, and often funny too. One of my favourites is this little tidbit about sulking:
"At the heart of a sulk lies a confusing mixture of intense anger and an equally intense desire not to communicate what one is angry about. The sulker both desperately needs the other person to understand and yet remains utterly committed to doing nothing to help them do so. The very need to explain forms the kernel of the insult: if the partner requires an explanation, he or she is clearly not worthy of one. We should add that it is a privilege to be the recipient of a sulk: it means the other person respects and trusts us enough to think we should understand their unspoken hurt. It is one of the odder gifts of love."
If you have an interest in philosophy and psychology, there'll be something for you in this book. De Botton writes beautifully, and I had several revelations about my own behaviour and relationships while reading 'The Course of Love'.
maddiiee's review against another edition
5.0
Lovely story of a relationship, coupled with anecdotes about human nature. Highly recommended!