"I forgive myself for letting people go, because I am trying to hold on myself."
Speaking to other people, though, requires channeling who or what I am into language they can understand. It requires folding."
I have never highlighted a book more. I can't thank Akwaeke enough for their courage and mastery for words. It’s difficult for me to put into words what a gift this book is and what it means to read such power and the visceral impact it has had on me. I can’t believe I have yet to read Freshwater... I will soon once I come done from processing these words.
what does it mean to exist and to exist honestly? they urge us to question our embodiment in this realm while witnessing the Ogbange unearths their own.
Understand this if you understand nothing fellow humans: it is a powerful thing to be seen.
Emezi is a big god. Reading their work, looking into their soul and spirit, was a privilege.
“I know many people survive, but I also think people glorify resilience a little too much, forgetting that the fragile ones simply die as the world walks on over their bones. There are some things we shouldn’t be boasting about.
“I remember how it felt, and I know it was true. Maybe not in this life or this dimension, but it was true, and I miss it so much.”
“Alone, there’s just me, and I see myself clearly.”
- Freshwater, and everything else by Akwaeke Emezi
- The Icarus Girl, and everything else by Helen Oyeyemi
- The Bone People, and Te Kaihau The Windeater, by Keri Hulme
- Zami, by Audre Lorde
- The Night Before the Day, by Ailo Gaup
- The Dangers of Smoking in Bed, by Mariana Enríquez
- The Haunting of Hill House, by Shirley Jackson
- The Nesting, by C. J. Cooke
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts and Suicide attempt
Minor: Rape, Toxic relationship, and Emotional abuse
There are so many parts of this book that made me emotional, I listened to them read it as well as read it physically. I found myself reading outloud. I wanted to hear how the power sounded coming from my own mouth . The feelings are similar and it makes my brain go "what does this mean? What do I do with this now?" I just felt it, its heavy.
My brain cannot formulate the words to describe the feelings I felt when reading the second half of Dear Daniel.
Dear June pulled me apart and then put me back together.
' I have never thought of you as saving me, but I know that, because of my training and example, I know how to save myself- even, or especially, from you...'
'...if I would forgive you. I said no, but I don't think he understood that I'm not interested in punishing you either. That all Ive ever wanted is to not be harmed by people claiming to love me, to not have to protect myself constantly from them...'
I shared that with multiple people in my life, and had lengthy conversations about it. It felt like this Spirit had written this for me in this moment when I am working on healing my mother wound. The timing is beyond explanation.
I borrowed this book from the library, but I plan to purchase it. I need to own this piece of magic. I want to listen to them reading this story in their deep, slow speech before bed like a child. I am in love with the complexity of them, I related too deeply. I'm exhausted after reading this book, I'll probably need to digest it for some time.
Graphic: Suicide attempt, Suicide, and Suicidal thoughtsDon't read this book if you're in a bad place mentally.
Graphic: Gore and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Suicide attempt, Infidelity, Ableism, Transphobia, Cannibalism, Racism, and Abandonment
Minor: Sexual assault