Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

Dear Senthuran: A Black Spirit Memoir by Akwaeke Emezi

18 reviews

readingthroughinfinity's review against another edition

adventurous challenging dark emotional reflective medium-paced

4.75

This is the most unique, compelling memoir I've read in many years. Through letters to their close friends and family, Akwaeke Emezi discusses their experience of being trans and getting surgery, their mental health, writing, chronic pain, the publishing industry, their identity as a god or ogbanje, and their spiritual connection with this world and with death. This is a fascinating read and one that introduced me to so many new concepts and ideas. Emezi really is a transcendent writer.   

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Medical trauma, Mental illness, Blood, Body horror, and Medical content

Moderate: Child abuse, Drug use, Gaslighting, Suicide attempt, Toxic relationship, Dysphoria, Chronic illness, Emotional abuse, Drug abuse, Self harm, and Suicidal thoughts

Minor: Ableism, Addiction, Homophobia, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail, Sexual content, and Infidelity

hogsandwich's review

challenging dark mysterious reflective medium-paced

4.5

Theyre definitely a genius. Theyre also, I suspect, very difficult to be around.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Blood, Medical content, Cannibalism, Medical trauma, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Body horror, Chronic illness, Death, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual assault, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Emotional abuse, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Self harm, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Transphobia

Moderate: Self harm

dre721's review

challenging emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Transphobia, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Self harm, Panic attacks/disorders, Emotional abuse, and Dysphoria

ceallaighsbooks's review

challenging dark emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

“I know many people survive, but I also think people glorify resilience a little too much, forgetting that the fragile ones simply die as the world walks on over their bones. There are some things we shouldn’t be boasting about. 

 

TITLE—Dear Senthuran 

AUTHOR—Akwaeke Emezi 

PUBLISHED—2021 

 

GENRE—memoir 

SETTING—liminal spaces 

MAIN THEMES/SUBJECTS—being a Black creator, being nonhuman, neurodivergency, love & friendship, identity 

 

WRITING STYLE—⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 

BONUS ELEMENT/S—multiple references to Helen Oyeyemi and her books 🥰 

PHILOSOPHY—⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 

 

“I remember how it felt, and I know it was true. Maybe not in this life or this dimension, but it was true, and I miss it so much.” 

 

I feel like this isn’t really a book one reviews so much as rereads and recommends endlessly forever and ever amen. My “reviews” exist as endless marginalia and pagetabs inside my physical hardcopy of this book and they’re a mite too personal to share here anyway. ☺️ 

 

Basically this memoir style book is written as a series of letters to people in Emezi’s life, both named and unnamed, friends, other writers and artists, family, influences, enemies, and abusers. They cover themes from friendship to love to Blackness to Otherness to Neurodivergency and to being a Creator. (I highly recommend this book to *all* aspiring creators—*especially* writers.) I particularly (and highly personally) loved the chapters/letters “Deity | Dear Eloghosa” and “Dreams | Dear Katherine”. 

 

Akwaeke Emezi is an inspiration on many different levels but I’m never not going to be amazed by the fact that they have been willing to share themselves and their story and their experiences via such gorgeous and raw prose again and again. I am very much looking forward to everything else they create forever and ever. ❤️ 

 

“Alone, there’s just me, and I see myself clearly.” 

 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 

 

TW // suicidal ideation, suicide attempt 

 

Further Reading— 

• Freshwater, and everything else by Akwaeke Emezi
• The Icarus Girl, and everything else by Helen Oyeyemi
• The Bone People, and Te Kaihau The Windeater, by Keri Hulme
• Zami, by Audre Lorde
• The Night Before the Day, by Ailo Gaup
• The Dangers of Smoking in Bed, by Mariana Enríquez
• The Haunting of Hill House, by Shirley Jackson
• The Nesting, by C. J. Cooke

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicidal thoughts and Suicide attempt

Moderate: Gore

Minor: Rape, Toxic relationship, and Emotional abuse

foreverinastory's review

dark emotional inspiring tense

5.0

I have no words.

I've had the pleasure of reading both Freshwater and The Death of Vivek Oji so I knew I would be inhaling Emezi's memoir as soon as I could. Dear Senthuran has solidified Emezi as one of my favorite authors of all time. Any time they come out with something new, I will be reading it immediately.

This memoir is not an easy book to read. Emezi has chronic depression and has lived through several suicide attempts. Reading about their struggles and how being an author on tour only exacerbated their depression is something readers and fans almost never see. We see the shiny, polished author who puts their best face forward during the extent of the tour where as many cities as possible are crammed in.

So much of this book is about pain. But it's also about becoming who you are. The thing I related to the most was Emezi's struggles with gender and defining exactly what their gender was. Plus dealing with dysphoria and taking steps to treat it. They also discuss how this impacted their relationship with their mother.

This book took a knife to my soul and it felt like someone finally understood the thoughts in my head I haven't been able to verbalize. Read this book as soon as you can.

CWs: Death, emotional abuse, homophobia, medical content (gender affirming surgeries), misogyny, racism, religious bigotry, sexism, self harm, sexual content, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, toxic relationship, transphobia, body horror, mental illness (depression). 

 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body horror, Death, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Medical content, Mental illness, Misogyny, Racism, Religious bigotry, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Toxic relationship, and Transphobia

tinytrashqueen's review

challenging dark emotional informative reflective slow-paced

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual content, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Suicide attempt, Suicidal thoughts, Self harm, Panic attacks/disorders, Mental illness, Medical trauma, Medical content, Infidelity, Emotional abuse, Death, Chronic illness, Body horror, Blood, and Animal cruelty

Moderate: Ableism, Abandonment, Alcoholism, Bullying, Car accident, Drug use, Misogyny, Outing, Sexism, Transphobia, and Violence

tenten's review

emotional informative reflective slow-paced

5.0

yeah so... i worship Akwaeke Emezi. i have been a worshipper for quite a while, but this book....phew.

it took me a year to read Freshwater. when i have high expectations for a book i get afraid because in many cases, they do not meet those expectations. Freshwater did, and did more by exceeding them. it was an incredible book. i berated myself for doubting Akwaeke's power but i vowed to never do it again. a couple of months after i read freshwater, PET came out and i was lucky enough to meet Akwaeke, to bask in their light for a while. i'm framing the photo we took together. 

Dear Senthuran can be considered a sequel or follow up to Freshwater, in which Akwaeke expands upon being ogbanje, their unwavering spirituality and faith, their journey finding success in a restrictive industry. deeply personal, yet very much a work of theory, this memoir-in-letters was truly something special. i learned so much, both about a non-human that i idolize, igbo ontologies, spirituality, and navigating the publishing industry.

obviously, as a budding writer myself, the letters to Nonso were particularly relavant to me. i admired their transparency about how they navigated the publishing industry. their experiences helped me to unlearn some beliefs i have about how i have to follow certain steps to reach my goals. i don't need to publish short stories in major journals before trying to publish a book. i don't need to complete an MFA. there are other ways.

beyond that, though, i learned about having confidence in myself and my work. about not shrinking or doubting myself when i know i'm that bitch. about the good of arrogance. about trusting the work and letting that be the key to your success. about advocating for yourself. about death.

it was so amazing to witness their maturity as a writer, too. Freshwater was already a work of art, but this was really something. the metaphors!! DAZZLING! 

their mind is so unique, their work is so groundbreaking, they are so so so incredible. i'm awed!

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Chronic illness

Moderate: Suicide attempt, Toxic relationship, and Medical trauma

sjanke2's review

challenging dark tense medium-paced

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Blood, Chronic illness, Death, Emotional abuse, Grief, Homophobia, Medical content, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Suicide attempt, and Toxic relationship