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Reviews tagging 'Death of parent'
How to Write an Autobiographical Novel: Essays by Alexander Chee
18 reviews
mikeybjones's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Sexual violence, Violence, Sexual harassment, Car accident, Child abuse, Death, Grief, Homophobia, Police brutality, Self harm, Sexual assault, and Suicide
kbeucler's review against another edition
4.25
Undoubtedly one of America’s best writers, Chee constructs intimate windows into his life in the form of personal essays. Each essay stands alone, but taken together in this book, the essays become a mosaic of a queer writer’s life. Chee writes about his mixed-race identity, the particular challenges of being a writer in the industry, the experience of being a gay man during the AIDS epidemic, the long shadow of trauma, and much more. My favorite essays included “The Querent,” about how to believe in or trust what isn’t visible or easily explained, and “Rosary,” an essay about growing a rose garden, but also an essay about creating something out of barren ground, about being shaped in turn by this thing you’ve created. Chee writes with searing honesty about extremely personal subjects, and yet the universality of his essays is apparent. They are relatable and resonant, contemplative and insightful, and I can’t recommend them enough.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death of parent, Homophobia, Rape, Sexual harassment, and Pandemic/Epidemic
remimicha's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death and Homophobia
Moderate: Child abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Police brutality, Grief, Racism, Sexual assault, War, Racial slurs, Xenophobia, Death of parent, Cultural appropriation, Classism, and Bullying
savvylit's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
"Something new is made from my memories and yours as you read this. It is not my memory, not yours, and it is born and walks the bridges and roads of your mind, as long as it can. After it has left mine.
All my life I've been told this isn't important, that it doesn't matter. And yet I think it does. I think it is the real reason the people who would take everything from us say this. I think it's the same reason that when fascists come to power, writers are among the first to go to jail. And that is the point of writing."
In this honest and eloquent collection, Chee manages to both tell readers about the power of the written word AND show that power by sharing deeply personal stories from his own life. Though the title of the collection seems to imply that this is a sort of guidebook for aspiring writers, labeling it as such would be limiting and incorrect. Reading about Chee's experiences makes one feel more inspired to write, yes. But they also make one feel more inspired to live. How to Write an Autobiographical Novel is a compassionate and vulnerable glimpse into the mind of an extraordinary author.
All my life I've been told this isn't important, that it doesn't matter. And yet I think it does. I think it is the real reason the people who would take everything from us say this. I think it's the same reason that when fascists come to power, writers are among the first to go to jail. And that is the point of writing."
In this honest and eloquent collection, Chee manages to both tell readers about the power of the written word AND show that power by sharing deeply personal stories from his own life. Though the title of the collection seems to imply that this is a sort of guidebook for aspiring writers, labeling it as such would be limiting and incorrect. Reading about Chee's experiences makes one feel more inspired to write, yes. But they also make one feel more inspired to live. How to Write an Autobiographical Novel is a compassionate and vulnerable glimpse into the mind of an extraordinary author.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Police brutality, Chronic illness, Grief, Death of parent, and Sexual assault
Moderate: Homophobia and Racism
owenwilsonbaby's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
"Of all the things that hadn't happened, this was maybe the most bitter to consider as I said goodbye. And yet I understood. Here, at least, was a choice to make. A way to feel free, even if that was all you felt."
This was incredible. It's only March but probably my favourite read of the year? Which is such a nice change because I usually find it hard to get into non fiction and essays. All of it was so deftly, fantastically written that it was a struggle to pick out a single favourite quote. Other strong quote contenders: the rose garden growing back stronger, the reason why you write in the face of adversity. Chee is an insanely talented storyteller, and has so much to say about life experiences, identity, activism, love, growth, trauma and writing itself. I feel like a different person after reading this, and trying to sum it up in this review feels cheap.
This was incredible. It's only March but probably my favourite read of the year? Which is such a nice change because I usually find it hard to get into non fiction and essays. All of it was so deftly, fantastically written that it was a struggle to pick out a single favourite quote. Other strong quote contenders: the rose garden growing back stronger, the reason why you write in the face of adversity. Chee is an insanely talented storyteller, and has so much to say about life experiences, identity, activism, love, growth, trauma and writing itself. I feel like a different person after reading this, and trying to sum it up in this review feels cheap.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual assault, Racial slurs, Adult/minor relationship, Death of parent, Grief, Suicide attempt, Police brutality, Child abuse, Racism, and Homophobia
criticalgayze's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
A quote Chee ponders on in the last essay in this collection, "On Becoming an American Writer," stood out to me as the piece to lead my thoughts with: What's the point?
As a teacher of writing, I think this is the question all good writers, teachers, and students must ask. What's the point? Because, if a point does not exist, then the exercise is a waste of your time. (Trust me, students will be quick to let you know that, too.)
The thing that has stuck with me as I reflect on this collection is that Chee makes the point so beautifully here. The point is that the wrestling with it is all we have. And when we stop wrestling is when we lose the point.
So why wrestle? For your past self and for your future self, for those you've loved and for those you will love, for those that loved you and for those that will, for what you have done and what you will do, for what you had and what you will have. All of which Chee reflects on so beautifully here.
Quotes:
I think of this as one of the most important parts of my writer's education - that when left alone with nothing else to read, I began to tell myself the stories I wanted to read. (Page 13)
In the cutting and cutting and move this here, put that at the beginning, this belongs on page six, I learned that the first three pages of a draft are usually where you clear your throat, that most times, the place your draft begins is around page four. (Page 51)
Without work, talent is only talent - promise, not product. (Page 53)
I am, as I've said, a minor character, out of place in this narrative, but the major characters of all these stories from the first ten years of the epidemic have left. The men I wanted to follow into the future are dead. Finding them had made me want to live, and I did. I do. I feel I owe them my survival. (Page 79)
Deborah drew lines around what was invented, and what was not, with a delicate pencil, and patiently explained to me how what we invent, we control, and how what we don't, we don't - and that it shows. That what we borrow from life tends to be the most problematic, and the the problem stems from the way we've already invented so much of what we think we know about ourselves without admitting it. (Page 111 - 112)
You can have talent, but if you cannot endure, if you cannot learn to work, and learn to work against your own worst tendencies and prejudices, if you cannot take the criticism of strangers, or the uncertainty, then you will not become a writer. (Page 118)
I knew civilized people were supposed to read the ideas of people who disagreed with them and at least think about them. In this way I was not so civilized. (Page 121)
23. There is not punishing a novel in these circumstances either, because hunger has its own intelligence, and should be trusted. It is dangerous to be a new novel around another new novel in the years they are each being written, but they know this. (Page 157)
The lesson for me at least - and this I think of as the gift of the garden, learned every year I lived in that apartment: you can lose more than you thought possible and still grow back, stronger than you imagined. (Page 170)
The story of your life, described, will not describe how you came to think about your life or yourself, nor describe any of what you learned. This is what fiction can do - I even think it is what fiction is for. (Page 200)
But the one I finished, I finished because I asked myself a question./What will you let yourself know? What will you allow yourself to know? (Page 202)
A single grand action unifies a story more than a single person, the characters memorable for the parts they play inside it. (Page 214)
Why does the talented student of writing stop? It is usually the imagination, turned to creating a story in which you are a failure, and all you have done has failed, and you are made out to be the fraud you feared you are. (Page 257)
There is no other world. There is only the world we are in. This revisable country, so difficult to change, so easily changed. (Page 276)
As a teacher of writing, I think this is the question all good writers, teachers, and students must ask. What's the point? Because, if a point does not exist, then the exercise is a waste of your time. (Trust me, students will be quick to let you know that, too.)
The thing that has stuck with me as I reflect on this collection is that Chee makes the point so beautifully here. The point is that the wrestling with it is all we have. And when we stop wrestling is when we lose the point.
So why wrestle? For your past self and for your future self, for those you've loved and for those you will love, for those that loved you and for those that will, for what you have done and what you will do, for what you had and what you will have. All of which Chee reflects on so beautifully here.
Quotes:
I think of this as one of the most important parts of my writer's education - that when left alone with nothing else to read, I began to tell myself the stories I wanted to read. (Page 13)
In the cutting and cutting and move this here, put that at the beginning, this belongs on page six, I learned that the first three pages of a draft are usually where you clear your throat, that most times, the place your draft begins is around page four. (Page 51)
Without work, talent is only talent - promise, not product. (Page 53)
I am, as I've said, a minor character, out of place in this narrative, but the major characters of all these stories from the first ten years of the epidemic have left. The men I wanted to follow into the future are dead. Finding them had made me want to live, and I did. I do. I feel I owe them my survival. (Page 79)
Deborah drew lines around what was invented, and what was not, with a delicate pencil, and patiently explained to me how what we invent, we control, and how what we don't, we don't - and that it shows. That what we borrow from life tends to be the most problematic, and the the problem stems from the way we've already invented so much of what we think we know about ourselves without admitting it. (Page 111 - 112)
You can have talent, but if you cannot endure, if you cannot learn to work, and learn to work against your own worst tendencies and prejudices, if you cannot take the criticism of strangers, or the uncertainty, then you will not become a writer. (Page 118)
I knew civilized people were supposed to read the ideas of people who disagreed with them and at least think about them. In this way I was not so civilized. (Page 121)
23. There is not punishing a novel in these circumstances either, because hunger has its own intelligence, and should be trusted. It is dangerous to be a new novel around another new novel in the years they are each being written, but they know this. (Page 157)
The lesson for me at least - and this I think of as the gift of the garden, learned every year I lived in that apartment: you can lose more than you thought possible and still grow back, stronger than you imagined. (Page 170)
The story of your life, described, will not describe how you came to think about your life or yourself, nor describe any of what you learned. This is what fiction can do - I even think it is what fiction is for. (Page 200)
But the one I finished, I finished because I asked myself a question./What will you let yourself know? What will you allow yourself to know? (Page 202)
A single grand action unifies a story more than a single person, the characters memorable for the parts they play inside it. (Page 214)
Why does the talented student of writing stop? It is usually the imagination, turned to creating a story in which you are a failure, and all you have done has failed, and you are made out to be the fraud you feared you are. (Page 257)
There is no other world. There is only the world we are in. This revisable country, so difficult to change, so easily changed. (Page 276)
Content Warnings
Graphic: Terminal illness
Moderate: Police brutality, Death, Pedophilia, Car accident, Sexual assault, Death of parent, and Homophobia
Minor: Suicide attempt and Suicidal thoughts
margaretrose's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Death, Death of parent, and Terminal illness
Moderate: Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, and Racism
caseywithabook's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
slow-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Homophobia, Sexual assault, Child abuse, and Death of parent
_micah_'s review against another edition
challenging
emotional
sad
slow-paced
5.0
One of my favorite collections of essays, I finished this book in November of 2019 and now, nearing the end of 2021, I still think about it a few times a month. In some ways the intimacy of the voice and topic almost satisfies my yearning for real-life queer elders. At the very least, when paired with The Year of Magical Thinking, it's given me a starting framework for how to mourn over the past two years.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse, Death, and Death of parent
greenteadragon's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual violence, Terminal illness, Police brutality, and Adult/minor relationship
Moderate: Bullying, Cancer, Death of parent, Death, and Racism
Minor: Alcohol, Cultural appropriation, and Racial slurs