Reviews

Alles, was ich von mir weiß by Adele Griffin

pagesplotsandpints's review against another edition

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3.0

3.5 stars
ARC provided by Random House
Loud Awake and Lost was good but just not as gripping and enthralling as I hoped it would be
For one, I wasn't a huge fan of Ember. I understood where her character was headed but eh. We just weren't connecting.
I also didn't really understand Kai. Their meeting and the continuing relationship didn't click for me and it really affected my feelings towards the book. It was negative but... Just very in the middle.
The more I think about it, the more I feel like my connection to the characters just held me back a bit. I actually had figured out the ending (well, suspected) about halfway through the book so the resolution to the mystery wasn't as surprising for me. It really does help everything come together and all makes sense but I felt like I didn't get enough hints or answers fast enough. I wanted some clues and some insights a bit quicker to help push the story along.
I enjoyed the book but it just wasn't a favorite.

Full review originally posted HERE on The Book Addict's Guide 12/16/13: There don't seem to be a lot of mystery-type YA novels (or weren't... I think they're starting appear more often now! Or maybe I'm noticing them more...) so I was really hoping LOUD AWAKE AND LOST would be a really good mystery and, well. It just wasn't as thrilling as I had hoped!

I actually have a lot of respect for the book, especially after finding out that Adele Griffin was inspired to write this book based on a situation that happened to her brother. (You can find out more info about that on the author profile over at Teen Lit Rocks!) I really enjoyed the psychological factor involved in LOUD AWAKE AND LOST. I really enjoy a good psychological twist and this book definitely had them! Ember wakes up after her accident and is missing a few very, very key details all from the last six weeks of her life before the accident. It was incredibly interesting to see how Ember had to figure out exactly what happened during those few weeks -- especially involving a very important piece she can't remember, a fight she barely believes happened, and memories of the accident that she really needs to recover before she can move on with her life.

I really enjoyed the concept and the process of the story and overall, it was exactly what I was looking for but somehow it just didn't come together as the story was progressing. I felt like that was kind of weird for me, but the resolution of the story sort of confirmed suspicions for me and brought everything together. I feel like a lot of times if I'm struggling a bit during the story, the ending usually ends up disappointing me as well, but I was invested in what I was hoping the ending would be so really the big picture was a big deal! There were a couple interesting twists in the book but I do have to say that I kind of guessed the "big deal" in there. It actually made the book better for me that was able to suspect that because otherwise it would have been a bit too confusing for me along the way.
There were actually a few times that I felt like the mystery was dragging. I wanted a few more clues to push the plot forward and keep my interesting piqued but there were times it was just a bit too slow. I think the fact that I do love a good mystery actually took away from it for me because I love the build-up of suspense and it did build up but then there were points where it would build up and then not move forward. I needed a bit more of a reveal than I was given at times!

I also had a bit of trouble connecting with the characters. I liked Ember but I didn't feel that emotional connection with her. I was also really confused with her relationship with Kai at first until things started to really unfold. Everything of course made sense towards the end, but it was another situation where it just didn't quite all fit together for me.

So I guess the review really sounds like I didn't enjoy the book but I did. Just really not as much as I had hoped. I think my big issue was that things really just didn't mesh for me while I was reading it. I had suspicions about what Ember was missing and I used those suspicions as fact (which did end up being true) so things made sense for me. Without those, I would have been a little too confused and I didn't like being so dependent on a hunch!

perednia's review against another edition

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3.0

Ember is returning home after months of rehab, recovering from a car accident in which she was the driver and which claimed the life of the teenage boy who was riding with her.

She’s got a lot going on -- continuing her physical rehabilitation, including giving up the life of a dancer she once might have been; her loving parents trying not to suffocate her with concern; her former boyfriend, a perfect guy who isn’t over her; losing her touch as a foodie with panache in the kitchen; and not remembering anything about Anthony, who was in the car that night. No one else knew Anthony either.

Spending time on her own, lost in her own thoughts, Ember meets a street artist, Kai, who seems to know her better than she knows herself and who lights up her world. She keeps him a secret from everyone else.

Pages and pages later, we find out why.

This is far from a perfect book. The slow pacing will just about kill interest for teens craving action, although Ember’s yearning for the excitement of being with Kai may keep romance readers interested. It’s not hard to figure out the mystery in the story, and it does make sense. But the Ember who is drawn to Kai and the Ember in the real world don’t mesh. Adele Griffin writes lyrical prose but could have written a shorter novel here to attract more readers. For a high school fiction writing workshop, this would make an interesting book to deconstruct.

trixie_reads's review against another edition

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2.0

I might have felt differently if I were in the intended age range this book was written for, but I found the main character unappealing. She was an entitled, whiny, spoiled brat. The audiobook narrator was terrible, which added to my lack of enjoyment. She sounded as though she had to force out the last syllable of every word.

elvenavari's review against another edition

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4.0

I never got really into Ember's character, though the last couple of chapters were heartbreaking. I definitely felt everything Ember was going through, that part was handled very well.

aprilbooksandwine's review against another edition

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5.0

Adele Griffin pretty much manages to wow me with every single book she releases. Loud Awake And Lost, Griffin’s latest, is a an emotion-laden read with quite the plot twist. If you are a fan of hard hitting young adult contemporary books, you would do well to add Loud Awake And Lost to your to be read list – I promise it is worth your time. I am still thinking about this book weeks after finishing it.
Read the rest of my review here
Note: Review goes live March 14, 2014 -- the link won't work until then!

piranhapudel's review

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4.0

"Alles, was ich von mir weiß" behandelt ein Thema, das von sich aus schon ganz viel Spannungspotenzial besitzt: Gedächtnisverlust. Nicht nur, weil es spannend sein könnte aufzuarbeiten, was denn in der verlorenen Zeit geschehen ist, sondern auch, weil ich es unglaublich interessant finde, wie die Betroffenen und deren Umgebung damit umgehen. All dies habe ich mir von diesem Buch über die junge Frau Ember, die nach einem schweren Autounfall sechs Wochen ihres Lebens vergessen hat, erhofft und, wenn auch nur teilweise, aber auf außergewöhnliche Weise bekommen.

Diese Geschichte beginnt an einem Tag, an dem Ember wieder aus der Reha zurück nach Hause zu ihren Eltern gehen darf. Nach dem Unfall lag sie einige Wochen im Krankenhaus und verbrachte danach noch viele Monate in der Reha. Sie hat einige schwere Verletzungen davongetragen und musste natürlich erst mal wieder lernen mit ihrem geschwächten Körper umzugehen. Auch die vergessenen sechs Wochen vor dem Unfall verursachten ihr immer wieder Sorgen. Als sie dann wieder Zuhause ist, wird sie zwar herzlichen empfangen, aber doch auch sehr vorsichtig. Sie wird wie ein rohes Ei behandelt und fühlt sich dabei sehr schnell eingeengt von zu viel Fürsorglichkeit. Zudem merkt Ember schnell, dass ihr nicht alles gesagt wird. Zuerst ist da der junge Mann, der beim Unfall auch mit im Auto saß, aber da scheint noch viel mehr zu sein.

Embers Sicht führt uns durch ihr Leben nach der Reha und somit beginnt das Buch recht ruhig. Der Schreibstil ist gefühlsbetont und nachdenklich und beschäftigt sich viel mit Embers Gedanken. Durch den eher stillen Einstieg in die Geschichte konnte ich mich persönlich schnell und gut in Embers Gedankenwelt einfühlen und war deshalb unglaublich interessiert, wie ihr alltägliches Leben nun mit dem Gedächtnisverlust weitergeht. Auch wenn es nur sechs Wochen sind, die ihr fehlen, scheinen sich diese wie ein riesiges Loch in ihren Gedanken anzufühlen. Schließlich ist es nicht nur die Unfallnacht, die ihr fehlt. Wenn man so etwas noch nie erlebt hat, kann man sich das wahrscheinlich nicht mal im geringsten vorstellen, bei "Alles, was ich von mir weiß" hatte ich aber zumindest das Gefühl, dass es sich dem Thema annähern konnte.

Besonders eindringlich wurden hier auch die Reaktionen der Menschen um Ember herum beschrieben. Da waren nicht nur ihre Eltern, sondern auch Freunde oder bloße Bekannte. Niemand schien so recht zu wissen, wie man nun mit ihr umgehen sollte, was man sagen darf und was nicht. In dem Zusammenhang spielen auch die sechs vergessenen Wochen eine Rolle, denn Ember selbst scheint in dieser Zeit eine ganz andere Person gewesen zu sein, die aber niemand so richtig mehr haben will. Alle scheinen froh zu sein, dass sie wieder die alt bekannte Ember haben. Viele, viele Seiten über hat sich in meinen Augen einfach jeder verdächtig gemacht, der offensichtlich nicht alles aus- oder angesprochen hat. Genau das hat wiederum enorm zum Spannungsaufbau beigetragen. So interessant die Reaktionen der anderen Personen auch waren, so hätte ich mir doch gewünscht, dass sie mehr sein könnten als bloß stereotype und besorgte Menschen. Da wirklich alles nur aus Embers Sicht beschrieben ist, bekommt der Leser natürlich auch nur diese mit, sodass besonders ihre Eltern schnell zu nervigen, übereifrigen und nervösen Menschen degradiert werden und ihre beste Freundin oft mehr eifersüchtig als froh wirkt. Hier wären weitere Sichtweisen oder auch nur erklärende Szenen wichtig gewesen, um diese Personen aus dem Klischee herauszuholen.

Ember, die den neuen Alltag auf sich zukommen lassen soll, um die vergessene Zeit ganz von allein wieder zu bekommen, ist ein Charakter, der mich zweigespalten zurückgelassen hat. So ruhig das Buch auch angefangen hat, so schnell wird klar, dass Ember nicht immer ein leiser oder sanfter Mensch ist. Sie entwickelt mit der Zeit ihre eigene "Kopf durch die Wand"-Methode, die ihr vielleicht Ergebnisse bringt, irgendwann allerdings nur noch fürchterlich egoistisch wirkt. Ich suche zwar per se nicht ständig Charaktere, die ich sympathisch finden kann, aber hier fand ich die Entwicklung wirklich schade. Vor allem, weil sich dadurch viele Situationen andauernd wiederholt haben, beispielsweise Szenen, bei denen Ember viel zu spät nach Hause kam und mal wieder genervt war von der Sorge ihrer Eltern, die stundenlang gebangt hatten. Was ihr allerdings während dieser spontan Aktionen passiert, ist wiederum ziemlich faszinierend, weil sich hier eine kleine, aber intensive Liebesgeschichte entwickelt. Sie trifft Kai, Kai trifft Ember und beide werden gleich unglaublich voneinander angezogen. Eine frische Liebe, die fast surreal wirkte und beim Lesen viel Spaß machte.

"Alles, was ich von mir weiß" ist nicht nur ein Buch, das einen schweren Unfall, Schuldgefühle und einen Gedächtnisverlust aufarbeitet, sondern auch eine Suche nach sich selbst. Ember, die sich durch die lange Zeit in der abgeschiedenen Reha-Klinik gar nicht mehr zu kennen scheint, fühlt sich langsam wieder in sich selbst ein. Es ist ein spannendes Buch voller Geheimnisse mit einer überraschenden Wendung, die dem Gedächtnisverlust noch ein weiteres Level verpasst. Für mich war die Wendung an sich nichts, das mich vom Hocker gerissen hätte (dafür sind mir ähnliche Überraschungen in letzter Zeit zu oft begegnet), aber sie war dennoch kaum vorauszusehen und besonders die Erklärungen haben mich überzeugt. Trotz einiger Längen durch Wiederholungen empfehle ich dieses Buch allen weiter, die sich für das Thema Gedächtnisverlust interessieren.

lori74's review against another edition

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dark emotional mysterious sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

ashleyreadstoomuch's review against another edition

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3.0

This was an interesting mystery, but it really wasn't my favourite.  I was interested enough to want to keep listening to find out what was going on, but I kind of hated how the people in the main character's life were keeping things from her.  She had a right to know.  Yes, that defeats the purpose of the mystery, but still.  I did enjoy the unreliable narrator aspect.

readingwithrebeccanicole's review against another edition

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Okay, did not finish. Nothing terrible or anything. The premise was really interesting. Just could not get into the story or care about the characters. And Ember was a little too boy crazy. Not sure that Boy Crazy is the right way to describe it, but she had major guy probs.

Seriously, you don't kiss a guy you have known for exactly five minutes!!!

Anyways, the other books on my to read shelf look so much more interesting. To quote Sherlock this book was, "Not worth my time."
just can't say that without Benedict Cumberbatch's voice running through my head

couchnest's review against another edition

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3.0

Loud Awake and Lost by Adele Griffin was an interesting story about a girl named Ember who is unsure of her identity after she is in a wreck that causes the death of Anthony. The writing style was a little hard for me to get into, but by the time I was halfway through the book, I was used to it and the story compelled me to finish. I am glad I did. As Ember seeks to recover lost memories of the time period leading up to the accident, she wonders who she had been before the accident. Her best friend and her had had a falling out. Her boyfriend and her had broken up. She had quit dance. All of the things that had made her "her" she had been moving away from... but to what she didn't know.

The story takes the reader on a journey of discovery as Ember slowly regains bits and pieces of her memory to puzzle back together into the full story of who Anthony was, how he came to be in her car, why she had been changing before the accident, and where these revelations will take her into the future. Griffin's book is a fairly fast-paced read. It brought back some sweet first childhood love memories. The revelation of the truth is heartbreaking and bittersweet. Griffin ties it all up together very neatly and gives the reader a satisfying ending with promise. All in all, a great read.