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_abii__'s review against another edition
dark
fast-paced
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
2.5
This is pleasure is about Quin, a man who has been accused by several women of sexual assault and Margot a friend of his who is trying to make sense of the accusations.
We get a perspective of both POVs, Quin’s and Margot’s. We see how both of them try to excuse the behavior as “normal”, and while Quin shows no remorse that doesn’t apply to Margot.
This book discusses interesting topics such as “what is considered sexual assault?”; “How far does consent go?”; “What does it mean for the women associated with the accused to remain by their side?”; “Are these women victims themselves?” and it does show that these cases are not black and white, there’s a lot of grey areas, especially regarding the women associated with these men.
With that being said. What did I just read?
“You didn’t touch her, did you? I mean, sexually?” I had not. Just sometimes on the shoulder, or around the waist. Maybe on the knee or the hip. Affection. Not sex.
(…)
She said, “If it wasn’t sexual, you don’t have anything to worry about.”
“But it could be made to sound sexual. Or just—she claims it cost her months of therapy bills.”
Margot laughed again, more meanly—I’m not sure at whom.
The book props the question: What is sexual assault? But never really bothers to answer it. The reader has to draw their own conclusion. Of course that, we as women, know that the interaction above that the two characters are referring to is sexual assault. However who is this book for? If it doesn’t go deeper than the surface on the topic, nor does it answer the questions it proposes, so again I ask who is this book for? Not for women, because we know what these things are, and not for men because it won’t teach them anything, as these questions are unanswered I remain confused.
We could spend whole lunches analyzing her behavior, particularly why she wouldn’t let him stroke her back or even take her elbow to guide her through a room. It was the same conversation, over and over: I lectured about respect and boundaries; he wondered how someone could be so “precious” about herself and declared that he would never refuse the needs of a friend.
Is this book supposed to encourage us, as women to explain to our male friends that we do not welcome foreign touch and why that’s weird? Odd message to send, but I digress. Margot goes to absolute lenghts to justify Quin’s repeated weird behavior towards women. It’s truly horrifying to read. The internalised misogyny really shines in this book (which is one of the most interesting parts in my opinion).
When I say to my colleagues that the women should have just told Quin to stop, that I had told him to stop and had made him stop, they inevitably tell me that the power was disproportionately his, and that even if in theory the women could have pushed back they should not be expected to, they shouldn’t have to.
At least we have a little development in this topic, but it’s never explored further because the book just ends. I really believe the book could have been longer (and i never say this) because it would’ve been more fleshed out and could start really interesting conversations that way.
I still leaned on him for support and counsel. I was like the women who didn’t stop him and who acted like his friends even as they grew angrier and angrier. It wasn’t because he had more power than I did; that didn’t really matter. And it wasn’t because I’m like a horse. I don’t know why I behaved the way I did, and I kept doing it; he kept doing it.
To me the conclusion Margot reaches is the best part of the book even though it left me wanting more. The book proposes many questions but only answers to one: “Are these women associated with the abusers ,victims themselves?”
However its still lacking because this only goes on for a page and this was the crucial part of the novel.
Being in Quin’s head was interesting as it was disgusting, it gives us great insight into the mind of an abuser who is able to manipulate all the people around him. However it doesn’t matter because in the end he suffers little consequences. Yes he’s fired but the narrative is constantly arguing with the reader that it is wrong, that despite everything he’s a good man. The end of the book was just … no I’m still mad.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual assault
Minor: Pedophilia
sarahduxbury's review against another edition
challenging
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse, Infidelity, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Toxic friendship, and Toxic relationship
missemilyn's review
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gaslighting, Misogyny, Sexism, Sexual harassment, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Body shaming
Minor: Pedophilia, Sexual assault, and Suicide
jona's review against another edition
challenging
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
I really liked the book, if you see it as critique of the people portrayed in this book and their excusing behavior. But then I read this interview with the author and now I'm not so sure about my feelings for this novella.
In the interview Mary Gaitskill says:
"Actually, it is a defense of the male character, to some extent. He’s someone who, for all his life, has acted in a way that’s now called “harassment,” and not only was it tolerated but he did very well, is a great success, socially and professionally. So why would he realize how offensive his behavior now seems to many people? I don’t intend the story as an exoneration; I don’t see this character as innocent or completely harmless. But, really, who is? Quin is flawed, but he’s essentially a good man who is being punished beyond the scope of his “sins.”"
I feel very conflicted with this statement, because of course I believe that everyone has flaws and stuff like that and you shouldn't be cancelled forever, just because you didn't understand a situation. But I feel like statements like this are exactly what is damaging to the movement against sexual harassment. Of course Quin didn't rape anybody, but that's not the point right? He doesn't understand that his actions, even though there is no bad intent there, make other women feel bad and small and other things and that this debate is not about what he feels.
In the end I think I don't understand why this novella was published. If it's not to be shown the ridiculous behavior of people defending or not taking sexual harassment seriously, brushing it off as only a bad joke, then what does Gaitskill want to say with this? Because if there's one thing we don't need right now, it's showing "the other side" of the MeToo-Movement.
In the interview Mary Gaitskill says:
"Actually, it is a defense of the male character, to some extent. He’s someone who, for all his life, has acted in a way that’s now called “harassment,” and not only was it tolerated but he did very well, is a great success, socially and professionally. So why would he realize how offensive his behavior now seems to many people? I don’t intend the story as an exoneration; I don’t see this character as innocent or completely harmless. But, really, who is? Quin is flawed, but he’s essentially a good man who is being punished beyond the scope of his “sins.”"
I feel very conflicted with this statement, because of course I believe that everyone has flaws and stuff like that and you shouldn't be cancelled forever, just because you didn't understand a situation. But I feel like statements like this are exactly what is damaging to the movement against sexual harassment. Of course Quin didn't rape anybody, but that's not the point right? He doesn't understand that his actions, even though there is no bad intent there, make other women feel bad and small and other things and that this debate is not about what he feels.
In the end I think I don't understand why this novella was published. If it's not to be shown the ridiculous behavior of people defending or not taking sexual harassment seriously, brushing it off as only a bad joke, then what does Gaitskill want to say with this? Because if there's one thing we don't need right now, it's showing "the other side" of the MeToo-Movement.
Content Warnings
Minor: Pedophilia, Rape, and Sexual assault
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