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4.25 AVERAGE
4.25 AVERAGE
I honestly don’t really know how to rate the book to do it justice. When it comes to the topics that were covered - great job! I loved the concept, I loved the diversity of topics each author brought, and that they were not afraid to cover phrases that are really difficult. I especially enjoyed the chapters Boys Will Be Boys, Innocent Until Proven Guilty and The Police Are Here to Protect Us. The book was charged with information, and what I liked the most is that many times it was able to capture what exactly is wrong with the topics that you know are problematic, and make you cringe - you just can’t put your finger on the reason why.
Now the book also had a lot of negatives, which made it very hard to read, understand the point and actually use it in a real-life conversation:
1. The structure - at first I found it refreshing that the main author’s chapters and the guest authors’ ones were alternating. After a while I found it really disruptive. Especially when the main author was referring to a specific story they mentioned earlier and you can’t remember what happened and it’s impossible to find it again. Also there doesn’t seem to be a clear connection between the guest chapters, or no logic to the order of the book, so it feels that there is a hard stop after every chapter.
2. The syntax and morphology- I’m sorry but this was a very hard read from the perspective of HOW the book was written. Every sentence is 2 pages long and it’s really easy to lose your train of thought if you don’t pay enough attention. The words explaining easy ideas are often way too complex, so you easily get lost. Especially in the moments when you think you know the main idea before you start reading the chapter, then you start reading it and find yourself confused, just to finally arrive to the thought you yourself had at the beginning. This not only made the reading feel a bit like a waste of time (since you feel that you already knew what is the issue at hand), but, because of its complexity, it didn’t actually make it any easier for you to interpret the idea to others. This fundamentally makes the point of the book — “how to have difficult conversations for meaningful change“ — invalid.
3. Subjective and very local point of view - Many chapters come out of the author’s main experience. This is not wrong, however how she leads difficult conversations with people is not how I usually do, so the moment she is sure that she would have already persuaded someone with her arguments, I know for a fact would be just a start of a discussion in my world. That also showcases the huge cultural differences and how deeply British this book is. Because of that a lot of the facts are UK specific, and the logic and data don’t translate to other cultures. I also wish there would be more topics about LGBTQIA community since it was referenced all the time, but didn’t have more than just 1 story about trans kids dedicated.
4. Islam is an Oppressive Religion To Women - I had to specifically call out this chapter because of how misaligned with the flow of the book and how terribly out of touch with reality it is. I won’t spoil anything, but this is chapter is exactly the opposite of what the main author tells you to do in all the other chapters - look at the society at large, zoom out on bigger picture and look at all communities, especially the ones that suffer because of a culture or a policy, not just the outliers that are not impacted by it.
Overall by the end of it I had to do something I never do - skim the last 2-3 chapters, read just the basic information, and be done with it because it started to be more of a boring bothersome chore rather than an enjoyable learning experience. That being said I might definitely come back to parts of if if need be, and that’s when the “prompts to discuss” and “information to remember” parts of each chapter will come in very handy!
Now the book also had a lot of negatives, which made it very hard to read, understand the point and actually use it in a real-life conversation:
1. The structure - at first I found it refreshing that the main author’s chapters and the guest authors’ ones were alternating. After a while I found it really disruptive. Especially when the main author was referring to a specific story they mentioned earlier and you can’t remember what happened and it’s impossible to find it again. Also there doesn’t seem to be a clear connection between the guest chapters, or no logic to the order of the book, so it feels that there is a hard stop after every chapter.
2. The syntax and morphology- I’m sorry but this was a very hard read from the perspective of HOW the book was written. Every sentence is 2 pages long and it’s really easy to lose your train of thought if you don’t pay enough attention. The words explaining easy ideas are often way too complex, so you easily get lost. Especially in the moments when you think you know the main idea before you start reading the chapter, then you start reading it and find yourself confused, just to finally arrive to the thought you yourself had at the beginning. This not only made the reading feel a bit like a waste of time (since you feel that you already knew what is the issue at hand), but, because of its complexity, it didn’t actually make it any easier for you to interpret the idea to others. This fundamentally makes the point of the book — “how to have difficult conversations for meaningful change“ — invalid.
3. Subjective and very local point of view - Many chapters come out of the author’s main experience. This is not wrong, however how she leads difficult conversations with people is not how I usually do, so the moment she is sure that she would have already persuaded someone with her arguments, I know for a fact would be just a start of a discussion in my world. That also showcases the huge cultural differences and how deeply British this book is. Because of that a lot of the facts are UK specific, and the logic and data don’t translate to other cultures. I also wish there would be more topics about LGBTQIA community since it was referenced all the time, but didn’t have more than just 1 story about trans kids dedicated.
4. Islam is an Oppressive Religion To Women - I had to specifically call out this chapter because of how misaligned with the flow of the book and how terribly out of touch with reality it is. I won’t spoil anything, but this is chapter is exactly the opposite of what the main author tells you to do in all the other chapters - look at the society at large, zoom out on bigger picture and look at all communities, especially the ones that suffer because of a culture or a policy, not just the outliers that are not impacted by it.
Overall by the end of it I had to do something I never do - skim the last 2-3 chapters, read just the basic information, and be done with it because it started to be more of a boring bothersome chore rather than an enjoyable learning experience. That being said I might definitely come back to parts of if if need be, and that’s when the “prompts to discuss” and “information to remember” parts of each chapter will come in very handy!
An essential read that covers feminism, ableism, trans-rights, Islamophobia, politics, fatphobia, toxic masculinity, racism and classism.
A balance between personal experience, academic references and contributions from various activists makes for an informative and hard hitting read.
This book made me evaluate my own prejudices, privilige and milieu.
A balance between personal experience, academic references and contributions from various activists makes for an informative and hard hitting read.
This book made me evaluate my own prejudices, privilige and milieu.
A thought provoking, life changing read. This should be discussed in secondary schools as a way to open up conversation and mindsets and give children the opportunity to explore current issues and be inspired. Beautiful.
informative
medium-paced
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
I read this book a while ago since writing this review. Like a year.
It was quite an easy read, if you chose to, you could reflect on each chapter, but I found the topics quite simple and the conclusions (generally) I already agreed with.
It did provoke some thoughts and some research that I took upon myself, I think that may be one of the best outcomes a book can give you. If it prompts you to be productive yourself. In doing so, it helps you teach yourself better than it could teach you anyway.
I would have liked to see some some discussion about actual evidence on how to convince people of things. While the author changed a law, I'm not convinced she actually changed anyone's minds, rather she just did an awareness campaign on the issue. (She changed it so upskirt pictures were made illegal). This wasn't legal because people thought it was right, it just hadn't been made illegal yet due to how infrequently it happens and how cameras have been installed in phones only very recently. The parts of the book where she talked about her own experience drumming up support to change the law were a bit weak in reasoning for me for this reason. This is more of a conversation about how the law can be slow to change without people forcing it to.
It was a positive book though, literally about changing people's minds for the better. And it was super easy to read.
It was quite an easy read, if you chose to, you could reflect on each chapter, but I found the topics quite simple and the conclusions (generally) I already agreed with.
It did provoke some thoughts and some research that I took upon myself, I think that may be one of the best outcomes a book can give you. If it prompts you to be productive yourself. In doing so, it helps you teach yourself better than it could teach you anyway.
I would have liked to see some some discussion about actual evidence on how to convince people of things. While the author changed a law, I'm not convinced she actually changed anyone's minds, rather she just did an awareness campaign on the issue. (She changed it so upskirt pictures were made illegal). This wasn't legal because people thought it was right, it just hadn't been made illegal yet due to how infrequently it happens and how cameras have been installed in phones only very recently. The parts of the book where she talked about her own experience drumming up support to change the law were a bit weak in reasoning for me for this reason. This is more of a conversation about how the law can be slow to change without people forcing it to.
It was a positive book though, literally about changing people's minds for the better. And it was super easy to read.
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
fast-paced
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.5 - you can tell that the author is a gender equality activist; she’s so passionate about these topics. Her chapters are so well written, you can tell she works hard to engage meaningfully with inclusive activism.
Same with the contributors - each chapter masterfully unpacks why popular statements/notions that appear benevolent or even helpful are often extremely harmful and/or offensive.
I really recommend that everyone reads this book - it’s downright depressing sometimes but too important to pass up. (the chapters on the police & the UK cost of living crisis are truly harrowing)
Same with the contributors - each chapter masterfully unpacks why popular statements/notions that appear benevolent or even helpful are often extremely harmful and/or offensive.
I really recommend that everyone reads this book - it’s downright depressing sometimes but too important to pass up. (the chapters on the police & the UK cost of living crisis are truly harrowing)