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elle_lewiseme's review
challenging
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
As it is, I can't settle, I want someone who is fierce and will love me until death and know that love is as strong as death, and be on my side forever and ever. I want someone who will destroy and be destroyed by me. (175)
I thought about the dog and was suddenly very sad; sad for her death, for my death, for all the inevitable dying that comes with change. There's no choice that doesn't mean a loss. But the dog was buried in the clean earth, and the things I had buried were exhuming themselves; clammy fears and dangerous thoughts and the shadows I had put away for a more convenient time. I could not put them away forever, there is always a day of reckoning. But not all dark places need light, I have to remember that. (177-8)
lilacquiesce's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
megtropolitan's review against another edition
emotional
funny
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.5
Loved listening to the audiobook! It was like I was sitting at a pub hearing a strangers life story - then every so often someone would turn up the volume on a folktale radio broadcast!
wordswithlara's review
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
maddie_kasia's review
dark
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
sarahvictoria2710's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
imogenrose97's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
Checking off an LBGTQI+ must read. I enjoyed the writing and the story, though, I have to say that religious stories are not really my favourite to read. Most of what I want from reading is either new perspectives or kinship within the story. Coming of age and growing up in a heavily religious household is not something I'm too interested in reading.
steen's review against another edition
4.0
This was a beautiful book. The last twenty pages were beautiful and sad and introspective and emotional.
I always get angry and sad when a story details the suffering of characters over made up things; how gender and sexuality should be performed. These stories always break my heart. The relationship between Jeanette & Melanie from beginning to end is tragic and will stay with me for a while.
I always get angry and sad when a story details the suffering of characters over made up things; how gender and sexuality should be performed. These stories always break my heart. The relationship between Jeanette & Melanie from beginning to end is tragic and will stay with me for a while.
kris_epub's review
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Just stunningly beautiful prose, but I should not be shocked by that. I’ve been excited to read more Jeanette Winterson since I picked up Christmas Days and this exceeded expectations.
I grew up Southern Baptist, going to Sunday School, VBS, and sitting in on sermons with my grandparents. Growing up fully immersed in or even just tangential to a religious family feels like fighting a battle from the start. Immediately given a complex set of rules, a strict moral compass to follow, and an order to ensure all those you love have eternal salvation.
And to then mix in the difficulty of understanding your own identity and your own queerness is heavy burden. Life is then immediately full of glaring contradictions.
Some of the first things I remember learning in Sunday School involved how Jesus loves everyone; He loves all his children, all around the world. And then I’d sit with my grandparents and hear a sermon about the importance of a woman’s husband protecting her from sin to ensure Jesus will grant her salvation — and that without salvation, you’re bound for eternal damnation. And I had no reason to not believe these things, despite now feeling like these two ‘lessons’ fundamentally contradict one another.
And then time passes and you start to realize that maybe something is a little different about you than everyone else you see at Church, maybe you don’t fit this mold laid out before you. Or better said, you think you do fit that mold and those teachings — because all you want to do is love and be loved in return — and how could there be anything wrong with that when love has always been at the center of Jesus’s message?
Readings Jeanette’s relationship with Marnie transported me back to elementary school, where with hindsight I realize what a large crush I had on a girl in my class. I constantly wanted to be around her. I’d beg for us to take turns pushing each other on the swings; I wanted to intertwine our fingers as we stood in line since our last names were right beside each other on the roster. And I remember that so quickly being frowned upon, being told to stop and not understanding why I couldn’t be close to someone I cared about. Kids love so freely and so unabashedly. And of course, this was in such contrast from my teachers holding a Q+U wedding or whispering about how the boy chasing a girl around the playground is ‘so sweet’ because he likes her and maybe they’ll date later in life since they’re family friends.
And for anyone wondering, that girl is still with (and likely soon to be engaged to) her middle school sweetheart — was their 9 year anniversary this year. So I never stood a chance.
I am not out to anyone in my family, though I suppose if they stumble upon this somehow….oh well. But I feel so lucky reading this book knowing that I do not have this sort of relationship with my mother. At least not at present or to this extent. It does however heavily remind me of my grandmother.
My oldest and strongest memories of my MawMaw include some of the following:
Spending VBS week at her house
Her gifting me my first Bible
Angels decorating every surface in her home
Learning hymns on the piano and organ to impress her
And currently, it’s the frequent text I receive that she is praying for me and how I really should be going to church every week and be sure I have let Jesus in my heart so I can enjoy salvation and holy eternity with her some day. And I don’t know how to respond to these things. Because the complexity of my own identity and beliefs is something I still grapple with. Truthfully it’s sorta nice to believe sometimes, but rectifying that with the behavior of God’s disciples and servants? Growing up in that environment makes it so hard to separate the good teachings and lessons of Jesus of a relationship with God from the Church, its congregation, and the people I grew up seeing Sunday mornings but now understand their true feelings on so many topics.
‘I miss God. I miss the company of someone utterly loyal. I still don’t think of God as my betrayer. The servants of God, yes, but servants by their very nature betray. I miss God who was my friend.’
I’m so glad books like this exist to explore that unique complexity so beautifully. I’ve enjoyed how much this made me think — about myself, about religion, about love. Mainly about love really, as I will continue to think about this one passage for a very long time:
‘As it is, I can’t settle, I want someone who is fierce and will love me until death and know that love is as strong as death, and be on my side for ever and ever. I want someone who will destroy and be destroyed by me. There are many forms of love and affection, some people can spend their whole lives together without knowing each other’s names.’
I grew up Southern Baptist, going to Sunday School, VBS, and sitting in on sermons with my grandparents. Growing up fully immersed in or even just tangential to a religious family feels like fighting a battle from the start. Immediately given a complex set of rules, a strict moral compass to follow, and an order to ensure all those you love have eternal salvation.
And to then mix in the difficulty of understanding your own identity and your own queerness is heavy burden. Life is then immediately full of glaring contradictions.
Some of the first things I remember learning in Sunday School involved how Jesus loves everyone; He loves all his children, all around the world. And then I’d sit with my grandparents and hear a sermon about the importance of a woman’s husband protecting her from sin to ensure Jesus will grant her salvation — and that without salvation, you’re bound for eternal damnation. And I had no reason to not believe these things, despite now feeling like these two ‘lessons’ fundamentally contradict one another.
And then time passes and you start to realize that maybe something is a little different about you than everyone else you see at Church, maybe you don’t fit this mold laid out before you. Or better said, you think you do fit that mold and those teachings — because all you want to do is love and be loved in return — and how could there be anything wrong with that when love has always been at the center of Jesus’s message?
Readings Jeanette’s relationship with Marnie transported me back to elementary school, where with hindsight I realize what a large crush I had on a girl in my class. I constantly wanted to be around her. I’d beg for us to take turns pushing each other on the swings; I wanted to intertwine our fingers as we stood in line since our last names were right beside each other on the roster. And I remember that so quickly being frowned upon, being told to stop and not understanding why I couldn’t be close to someone I cared about. Kids love so freely and so unabashedly. And of course, this was in such contrast from my teachers holding a Q+U wedding or whispering about how the boy chasing a girl around the playground is ‘so sweet’ because he likes her and maybe they’ll date later in life since they’re family friends.
And for anyone wondering, that girl is still with (and likely soon to be engaged to) her middle school sweetheart — was their 9 year anniversary this year. So I never stood a chance.
I am not out to anyone in my family, though I suppose if they stumble upon this somehow….oh well. But I feel so lucky reading this book knowing that I do not have this sort of relationship with my mother. At least not at present or to this extent. It does however heavily remind me of my grandmother.
My oldest and strongest memories of my MawMaw include some of the following:
Spending VBS week at her house
Her gifting me my first Bible
Angels decorating every surface in her home
Learning hymns on the piano and organ to impress her
And currently, it’s the frequent text I receive that she is praying for me and how I really should be going to church every week and be sure I have let Jesus in my heart so I can enjoy salvation and holy eternity with her some day. And I don’t know how to respond to these things. Because the complexity of my own identity and beliefs is something I still grapple with. Truthfully it’s sorta nice to believe sometimes, but rectifying that with the behavior of God’s disciples and servants? Growing up in that environment makes it so hard to separate the good teachings and lessons of Jesus of a relationship with God from the Church, its congregation, and the people I grew up seeing Sunday mornings but now understand their true feelings on so many topics.
‘I miss God. I miss the company of someone utterly loyal. I still don’t think of God as my betrayer. The servants of God, yes, but servants by their very nature betray. I miss God who was my friend.’
I’m so glad books like this exist to explore that unique complexity so beautifully. I’ve enjoyed how much this made me think — about myself, about religion, about love. Mainly about love really, as I will continue to think about this one passage for a very long time:
‘As it is, I can’t settle, I want someone who is fierce and will love me until death and know that love is as strong as death, and be on my side for ever and ever. I want someone who will destroy and be destroyed by me. There are many forms of love and affection, some people can spend their whole lives together without knowing each other’s names.’