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Reviews tagging 'Adult/minor relationship'
The Holy Bible: King James Version by Anonymous
2 reviews
wittytrixter's review
1.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Classism, Infertility, Racism, Abandonment, Addiction, Gaslighting, Genocide, Grief, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Religious bigotry, Trafficking, Forced institutionalization, Incest, Sexual assault, Slavery, Torture, Vomit, Abortion, Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Child death, Violence, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Child abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Sexual content, War, Body horror, and Murder
dean_issov's review
challenging
dark
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
1.0
My Ratings (KJV Bible)
5 Stars: 0
4 Stars: 1
3 Stars: 10
2 Stars: 16
1 Stars: 39
THE OLD TESTAMENT
Genesis: 🌟🌟🌟
• 46:21
There are four lists of Benjamin’s sons in the Bible, and none of them agree. This one lists ten sons, Numbers 26:38-40, 1 Chronicles 7:6 lists three, and 1 Chronicles 8:1-2 lists five. Only one son (Bela) is found in all four lists.
Exodus: 🌟🌟🌟
• 24:9-11
Moses, Aaron, and seventy of their companions saw God. (They even got a peek at his feet!) How could this have happened if no one has ever seen God (Exodus 33:20; John 1:18, 6:46; Colossians 1:15; 1 Timothy 1:17, 6:16; 1 John 4:12)?
Leviticus: 🌟
• 11:5-6
The Bible says that hares and coneys are unclean because they “chew the cud” but do not part the hoof. But hares and coneys are not ruminants and they do not “chew the cud.”
Numbers: 🌟
• 18:17-19
God describes once again the procedure for ritualistic animal sacrifices. Such rituals must be extremely important to God, since he makes their performance a “statute” and “covenant” forever. Why, then don’t Bible-believers perform these sacrifices anymore? Don’t they realize how God must miss the “sweet savour” of burning flesh? Don’t they believe God when he says “forever”?
Deutoronomy: 🌟🌟
• 7:1
“When the LORD … hath cast out many nations before thee, the Hittites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites.” God promises to cast out seven nations including the Amorites, Canaanites, and the Jebusites. But he just couldn’t do it. (See Joshua 15:63, 16:10, 17:12-13; Judges 1:21, 27, 3:1-5)
Joshua: 🌟🌟
• 11:20
“For it was of the Lord to harden their hearts, that they should come against Israel in battle, that he might destroy them utterly.” Notice that God hardens their hearts so that he can have an excuse to kill them.
Judges: 🌟🌟🌟
• 6:5
“They came as grasshoppers for multitude; for both they and their camels were without number.” Every male Midianite was killed during the time of Moses (Numbers 31:7), and yet 200 years later they flourish like grasshoppers “without number."
Ruth: 🌟🌟
• 1:4
“They took them wives of the women of Moab; the name of the one was Orpah, and the name of the other Ruth.” Deuteronomy 23:3 says that no Moabite shall “enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to their tenth generation.” Yet Ruth was David’s great grandmother (Ruth 4:13, 17), and she was also a Moabite.
1 Samuel: 🌟🌟🌟
• 30:1
“The Amalekites had invaded the south.” The Amalekites are a tough tribe. Twice they were “utterly destroyed” first by Saul (1 Samuel 15:7-8) and then by David (1 Samuel 27:9-11). Yet here they are, just a few years later, fighting the Philistines.
2 Samuel: 🌟🌟
• 6:14-23
King David dances nearly naked in front of God and everybody. When Michal criticizes him for exposing himself, God punishes her by having “no child unto the day of her death.” Although 2 Samuel 21:8 says that she had five sons (which were sacrificed to God by David to stop God from starving people to death).
1 Kings: 🌟🌟
• 16:8
“In the twenty and sixth year of Asa king of Judah began Elah the son of Baasha to reign.” Baasha died in the 26th year of Asa, yet 2 Chronicles 16:1 says that Baasha went to war with Judah in the 36th year of Asa’s reign—which means that Baasha was still fighting 10 years after his death!
2 Kings: 🌟🌟
• 13:1 & 10
“In the three and twentieth year of Joash the son of Ahaziah king of Judah Jehoahaz the son of Jehu began to reign over Israel in Samaria, and reigned seventeen years... In the thirty and seventh year of Joash king of Judah began Jehoash the son of Jehoahaz to reign over Israel in Samaria." The start of Jehoash's reign over Israel in Samaria (in the 37th year of Joash) doesn't add up with the fact that his father, Jehoahaz, reigned over Israel in Samaria during that time (for 17 years, starting in the 23rd year of Joash). Jehoahaz ended his reign 2 years after Jehoash supposedly began his reign over the same kingdom; that's not how a monarchy works.
1 Chronicles: 🌟
• 21:7-17
God gets angry with David for counting the people. For a punishment, he offers him three choices: Three years of famine, three months to be destroyed by enemies, or three days of pestilence. When David can’t make up his mind, God decides for him and sends a pestilence that kills 70,000 men. (Presumably women and children were also killed. If so, the total must have been more than 200,000.) In the middle of the slaughter, God “repents of the evil” that he was doing and tells the angel to stop the killing. One wonders what God had in mind in the first place, since it was David who was supposed to have sinned by taking the census—not the people. Even David was confused by this, and asked God, “these sheep, what have they done?”
2 Chronicles: 🌟
• 21:20
“Thirty and two years old was he when he began to reign, and he reigned in Jerusalem eight years.” Jehoram was 32 years old when he began to reign and he reigned for eight years and then died. After his death, his youngest son Ahaziah began to reign at the age of 42 (2 Chronicles 22:1-2). So the son (Ahaziah) was two years older than his father!
Ezra: 🌟🌟
• 2:5-65
The second chapter of Ezra provides a list of the Jewish people returning to Judah after their captivity in Babylon. It makes for rather dull reading: just a list of men’s names and the number of offspring that accompanied each of them. The same list is given in the seventh chapter of Nehemiah (as though once were not enough), but the two lists contradict each other in 19 places. As an example, consider the very first of these contradictions: Ezra 2:5 says “the children of Arah, seven hundred seventy and five,” but Nehemiah 7:10 contradicts this saying, “the children of Arah, six hundred fifty and two.” There are 18 other similar contradictions between the two accounts.
Nehemiah: 🌟
• 7:66
“The whole congregation together was forty and two thousand three hundred and threescore.” Here we are told that the whole congregation totaled 42,360. But if we just total up the numbers given in Nehemiah 7:8-62 we come up with only 31,089.
Esther: 🌟
• 8:9-13
At Esther’s request, the king orders a preemptive strike on all 127 provinces from India to Ethiopia. Everyone who planned to kill Jews shall be killed by Jews, along with their wives and children. And all this killing is to take place on a single day—the day after the first decree ordered all the Jews to be killed. (See 3:13) (How are the Jews to figure out who planned to kill them and who didn’t? Were they supposed to just kill everyone and let God sort it out? And why did they need to kill the women and children?)
Job: 🌟
• 38:31
“Canst thou bind the sweet influences of Pleiades?” Does God live in the Pleiades? Jehovah’s Witnesses used to believe that God lives on the planet Alcyone in the Pleiades cluster. The only biblical justification for this was this verse and 2 Chronicles 6:21. This belief was clearly stated in “Reconciliation” (1928): “But the greatness in size of other stars or planets is small when compared with the Pleiades in importance, because the Pleiades is the place of the eternal throne of God.” This is just one of many JW beliefs that has died a quiet death and is no longer mentioned in the Watchtower.
Psalms: 🌟
• 104:1-2
“God … who stretchest out the heavens like a curtain.” Galileo cited this verse in his “Letter to the Grand Duchess Christina” saying, “Astronomers seem to declare what is contrary to Scripture, for they hold the heavens to be spherical, while the Scripture calls it ‘stretched out like a curtain.’” He argued, following Augustine, that the Church should avoid interpreting such passages in a way that might later conflict with scientific understanding. Unfortunately, the Church did not take his advice. Of course Galileo was right about Psalm 104:1-2. The heavens are not stretched out like a curtain, and today nearly all Christians take Galileo’s advice and ignore the passage, interpret it metaphorically, or make it say something other than what it clearly says.
Proverbs: 🌟🌟
• 23:13-14
“Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.” Beat your children hard and often. Don’t worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn’t going to kill them. And even if it does, they’ll be better off for it. They’ll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them.
Ecclesiastes: 🌟🌟🌟🌟
• 9:4
“For to him that is joined to all the living there is hope: for a living dog is better than a dead lion.”
Songs of Solomon: 🌟🌟🌟
• 1:1
“The song of songs, which is Solomon’s.” The author claims to be Solomon. He isn’t. The Song of Solomon (aka “The Song of Songs”) was written (forged) several hundred years after Solomon died (if he ever lived, that is).
Isaiah: 🌟🌟🌟
• 7:14
“Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.” The King James Version mistranslates the Hebrew word “almah”, which means “young woman” as “virgin”. (The Hebrew word, “bethulah”, means “virgin”.) In addition, the young woman referred to in this verse was living at the time of the prophecy. And Jesus, of course, was called Jesus—and is not called Emmanuel in any verse in the New Testament.
Jeremiah: 🌟🌟
• 22:25-30
God will have Jeconiah’s enemies kill him and his mother and then ensure that he die without leaving any sons, which seems a bit strange since Jeconiah is listed as an ancestor of Jesus in Matthew 1:12.
Lamentations: 🌟
• 4:3
“Cruel, like the ostriches” Ostriches are not cruel and inattentive parents, as this verse implies. They are, in fact, careful and attentive parents. The male scoops out a hollow for the eggs, which are incubated by the female during the day and the male at night. After the eggs are hatched, they are cared for by the mother for over a month, at which time the chicks can keep up with running adults.
Ezekiel: 🌟🌟🌟
• 26:14 & 21
Ezekiel prophesies that Tyrus will be completely destroyed by Nebuchadrezzar and will never be built again. But it wasn’t destroyed, as evidenced by the visits to Tyre by Jesus and Paul (Matthew 15:21, Mark 7:24, 31, Acts 21:3).
Daniel: 🌟🌟🌟
• 1:1
“In the third year of the reign of Jehoiakim king of Judah came Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon unto Jerusalem, and besieged it.” The third year of the reign of Jehoiakim would be 606 BCE, at which time Nebuchadnezzar was not yet king of Babylon. It was 597 BCE that Nebuchadnezzar invaded Jerusalem for the first time (without actually destroying it). By that time Jehohiakim was dead and his son, Jehoiachin, was ruling.
Hosea: 🌟🌟
• 6:2
“After two days will he revive us: in the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight.” This may be the verse referred to in Luke 18:31-33 and 1 Corinthians 15:3-4. However, Hosea 6:2 refers to the people living at the time (hence “us”) and therefore cannot be fulfilled by the death and resurrection of Jesus.
Joel: 🌟
• 3:2
“They … parted my land.” On January 5, 2006, Pat Robertson linked Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon’s recent stroke to God’s wrath, saying: “In the book of Joel, the prophet Joel makes it very clear that God has ‘enmity against those who divide my land.’” Although he didn’t quote chapter and verse, Joel 3:2 is probably what he was referring to, though his interpretation of that verse is a bit less than “very clear” to me.
Amos: 🌟
• 5:8
“Seek him that maketh the seven stars and Orion.” Other translations have “Pleiades” instead of “seven stars.” The Pleiades is an open star cluster that contains thousands of stars, not just the “seven stars” that are easily visible from earth without a telescope. And the constellation Orion is a collection of stars that happens to form an interesting, but temporary, pattern when viewed from earth. It was not purposefully designed by anyone or anything.
Obdiah: 🌟
• 1:15
“The day of the Lord is near.” If so, then it must have come and past, unnoticed, long before the birth of Jesus.
Jonah: 🌟
• 3:4
“Jonah began to enter into the city a day’s journey, and he cried, and said, Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown.” Jonah prophesies that in forty days Nineveh shall be overthrown. But it didn’t happen because God repented—to who though?—(Jonah 3:10).
Micah: 🌟
• 5:2
“But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah, though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting.” The gospel of Matthew (2:5-6) claims that Jesus’ birth in Bethlehem fulfils this prophecy. But this is unlikely since “Bethlehem Ephratah” in Micah 5:2 refers not to a town, but to a clan: the clan of Bethlehem, who was the son of Caleb’s second wife, Ephrathah (1 Chronicles 2:18, 2:50-52, 4:4). The prophecy (if that is what it is) does not refer to the Messiah, but rather to a military leader, as can be seen from verse 5:6. This leader is supposed to defeat the Assyrians, which, of course, Jesus never did. It should also be noted that Matthew altered the text of Micah 5:2 by saying: “And thou Bethlehem, in the land of Juda” rather than “Bethlehem Ephratah” as is said in Micah 5:2. He did this, intentionally no doubt, to make the verse appear to refer to the town of Bethlehem rather than the family clan.
Nahum: 🌟
• 3:13
“Behold, thy people in the midst of thee are women.” “You’re all a bunch of women” was the biggest insult God could think of at the moment.
Habakkuk: 🌟
• 2:8
“Because thou hast spoiled many nations, all the remnant of the people shall spoil thee.” God will strike down the Chaldeans (Babylonians) for attacking Israel. But, in verse 1:6, God made them do just that!
Zephaniah: 🌟
• 3:8
“I rise up to the prey: for my determination is to gather the nations, that I may assemble the kingdoms, to pour upon them mine indignation, even all my fierce anger: for all the earth shall be devoured with the fire of my jealousy.”
Haggai: 🌟
• 2:12-14
God has a conversation with Haggai and the priests about holy flesh, skirts touching bread or wine, the cleanliness of dead bodies, and whatnot. The main thing to remember here is this: Don’t let your holy flesh touch any food or wine, because if you do your flesh won’t be holy any more.
Zechariah: 🌟🌟
• 9:9
“Thy King cometh … riding upon an ass, and upon a colt the foal of an ass.” The gospels (especially Matthew 21:4-5 and John 12:14-15) claim that Jesus fulfils the prophecy of Zechariah 9:9. But the next few verses (9:10-13) show that the person referred to in this verse is a military king that would rule “from sea to sea”. Since Jesus had neither an army nor a kingdom, he could not have fulfilled this prophecy.
Malachi: 🌟
• 3:1, 4:5
“Behold, I will send my messenger, and he shall prepare the way before me.” The gospel of Mark claims that John the Baptist fulfilled the prophecy given in Malachi. But the Malachi prophecy says that God will send Elijah before “the great and dreadful day of the LORD” in which the world will be consumed by fire. Yet John the Baptist flatly denied that he was Elijah (Elias) in John 1:21 and the earth was not destroyed after John’s appearance.
THE NEW TESTAMENT
5 Stars: 0
4 Stars: 1
3 Stars: 10
2 Stars: 16
1 Stars: 39
THE OLD TESTAMENT
Genesis: 🌟🌟🌟
• 46:21
There are four lists of Benjamin’s sons in the Bible, and none of them agree. This one lists ten sons, Numbers 26:38-40, 1 Chronicles 7:6 lists three, and 1 Chronicles 8:1-2 lists five. Only one son (Bela) is found in all four lists.
Exodus: 🌟🌟🌟
• 24:9-11
Moses, Aaron, and seventy of their companions saw God. (They even got a peek at his feet!) How could this have happened if no one has ever seen God (Exodus 33:20; John 1:18, 6:46; Colossians 1:15; 1 Timothy 1:17, 6:16; 1 John 4:12)?
Leviticus: 🌟
• 11:5-6
The Bible says that hares and coneys are unclean because they “chew the cud” but do not part the hoof. But hares and coneys are not ruminants and they do not “chew the cud.”
Numbers: 🌟
• 18:17-19
God describes once again the procedure for ritualistic animal sacrifices. Such rituals must be extremely important to God, since he makes their performance a “statute” and “covenant” forever. Why, then don’t Bible-believers perform these sacrifices anymore? Don’t they realize how God must miss the “sweet savour” of burning flesh? Don’t they believe God when he says “forever”?
Deutoronomy: 🌟🌟
• 7:1
“When the LORD … hath cast out many nations before thee, the Hittites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites.” God promises to cast out seven nations including the Amorites, Canaanites, and the Jebusites. But he just couldn’t do it. (See Joshua 15:63, 16:10, 17:12-13; Judges 1:21, 27, 3:1-5)
Joshua: 🌟🌟
• 11:20
“For it was of the Lord to harden their hearts, that they should come against Israel in battle, that he might destroy them utterly.” Notice that God hardens their hearts so that he can have an excuse to kill them.
Judges: 🌟🌟🌟
• 6:5
“They came as grasshoppers for multitude; for both they and their camels were without number.” Every male Midianite was killed during the time of Moses (Numbers 31:7), and yet 200 years later they flourish like grasshoppers “without number."
Ruth: 🌟🌟
• 1:4
“They took them wives of the women of Moab; the name of the one was Orpah, and the name of the other Ruth.” Deuteronomy 23:3 says that no Moabite shall “enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to their tenth generation.” Yet Ruth was David’s great grandmother (Ruth 4:13, 17), and she was also a Moabite.
1 Samuel: 🌟🌟🌟
• 30:1
“The Amalekites had invaded the south.” The Amalekites are a tough tribe. Twice they were “utterly destroyed” first by Saul (1 Samuel 15:7-8) and then by David (1 Samuel 27:9-11). Yet here they are, just a few years later, fighting the Philistines.
2 Samuel: 🌟🌟
• 6:14-23
King David dances nearly naked in front of God and everybody. When Michal criticizes him for exposing himself, God punishes her by having “no child unto the day of her death.” Although 2 Samuel 21:8 says that she had five sons (which were sacrificed to God by David to stop God from starving people to death).
1 Kings: 🌟🌟
• 16:8
“In the twenty and sixth year of Asa king of Judah began Elah the son of Baasha to reign.” Baasha died in the 26th year of Asa, yet 2 Chronicles 16:1 says that Baasha went to war with Judah in the 36th year of Asa’s reign—which means that Baasha was still fighting 10 years after his death!
2 Kings: 🌟🌟
• 13:1 & 10
“In the three and twentieth year of Joash the son of Ahaziah king of Judah Jehoahaz the son of Jehu began to reign over Israel in Samaria, and reigned seventeen years... In the thirty and seventh year of Joash king of Judah began Jehoash the son of Jehoahaz to reign over Israel in Samaria." The start of Jehoash's reign over Israel in Samaria (in the 37th year of Joash) doesn't add up with the fact that his father, Jehoahaz, reigned over Israel in Samaria during that time (for 17 years, starting in the 23rd year of Joash). Jehoahaz ended his reign 2 years after Jehoash supposedly began his reign over the same kingdom; that's not how a monarchy works.
1 Chronicles: 🌟
• 21:7-17
God gets angry with David for counting the people. For a punishment, he offers him three choices: Three years of famine, three months to be destroyed by enemies, or three days of pestilence. When David can’t make up his mind, God decides for him and sends a pestilence that kills 70,000 men. (Presumably women and children were also killed. If so, the total must have been more than 200,000.) In the middle of the slaughter, God “repents of the evil” that he was doing and tells the angel to stop the killing. One wonders what God had in mind in the first place, since it was David who was supposed to have sinned by taking the census—not the people. Even David was confused by this, and asked God, “these sheep, what have they done?”
2 Chronicles: 🌟
• 21:20
“Thirty and two years old was he when he began to reign, and he reigned in Jerusalem eight years.” Jehoram was 32 years old when he began to reign and he reigned for eight years and then died. After his death, his youngest son Ahaziah began to reign at the age of 42 (2 Chronicles 22:1-2). So the son (Ahaziah) was two years older than his father!
Ezra: 🌟🌟
• 2:5-65
The second chapter of Ezra provides a list of the Jewish people returning to Judah after their captivity in Babylon. It makes for rather dull reading: just a list of men’s names and the number of offspring that accompanied each of them. The same list is given in the seventh chapter of Nehemiah (as though once were not enough), but the two lists contradict each other in 19 places. As an example, consider the very first of these contradictions: Ezra 2:5 says “the children of Arah, seven hundred seventy and five,” but Nehemiah 7:10 contradicts this saying, “the children of Arah, six hundred fifty and two.” There are 18 other similar contradictions between the two accounts.
Nehemiah: 🌟
• 7:66
“The whole congregation together was forty and two thousand three hundred and threescore.” Here we are told that the whole congregation totaled 42,360. But if we just total up the numbers given in Nehemiah 7:8-62 we come up with only 31,089.
Esther: 🌟
• 8:9-13
At Esther’s request, the king orders a preemptive strike on all 127 provinces from India to Ethiopia. Everyone who planned to kill Jews shall be killed by Jews, along with their wives and children. And all this killing is to take place on a single day—the day after the first decree ordered all the Jews to be killed. (See 3:13) (How are the Jews to figure out who planned to kill them and who didn’t? Were they supposed to just kill everyone and let God sort it out? And why did they need to kill the women and children?)
Job: 🌟
• 38:31
“Canst thou bind the sweet influences of Pleiades?” Does God live in the Pleiades? Jehovah’s Witnesses used to believe that God lives on the planet Alcyone in the Pleiades cluster. The only biblical justification for this was this verse and 2 Chronicles 6:21. This belief was clearly stated in “Reconciliation” (1928): “But the greatness in size of other stars or planets is small when compared with the Pleiades in importance, because the Pleiades is the place of the eternal throne of God.” This is just one of many JW beliefs that has died a quiet death and is no longer mentioned in the Watchtower.
Psalms: 🌟
• 104:1-2
“God … who stretchest out the heavens like a curtain.” Galileo cited this verse in his “Letter to the Grand Duchess Christina” saying, “Astronomers seem to declare what is contrary to Scripture, for they hold the heavens to be spherical, while the Scripture calls it ‘stretched out like a curtain.’” He argued, following Augustine, that the Church should avoid interpreting such passages in a way that might later conflict with scientific understanding. Unfortunately, the Church did not take his advice. Of course Galileo was right about Psalm 104:1-2. The heavens are not stretched out like a curtain, and today nearly all Christians take Galileo’s advice and ignore the passage, interpret it metaphorically, or make it say something other than what it clearly says.
Proverbs: 🌟🌟
• 23:13-14
“Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.” Beat your children hard and often. Don’t worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn’t going to kill them. And even if it does, they’ll be better off for it. They’ll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them.
Ecclesiastes: 🌟🌟🌟🌟
• 9:4
“For to him that is joined to all the living there is hope: for a living dog is better than a dead lion.”
Songs of Solomon: 🌟🌟🌟
• 1:1
“The song of songs, which is Solomon’s.” The author claims to be Solomon. He isn’t. The Song of Solomon (aka “The Song of Songs”) was written (forged) several hundred years after Solomon died (if he ever lived, that is).
Isaiah: 🌟🌟🌟
• 7:14
“Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.” The King James Version mistranslates the Hebrew word “almah”, which means “young woman” as “virgin”. (The Hebrew word, “bethulah”, means “virgin”.) In addition, the young woman referred to in this verse was living at the time of the prophecy. And Jesus, of course, was called Jesus—and is not called Emmanuel in any verse in the New Testament.
Jeremiah: 🌟🌟
• 22:25-30
God will have Jeconiah’s enemies kill him and his mother and then ensure that he die without leaving any sons, which seems a bit strange since Jeconiah is listed as an ancestor of Jesus in Matthew 1:12.
Lamentations: 🌟
• 4:3
“Cruel, like the ostriches” Ostriches are not cruel and inattentive parents, as this verse implies. They are, in fact, careful and attentive parents. The male scoops out a hollow for the eggs, which are incubated by the female during the day and the male at night. After the eggs are hatched, they are cared for by the mother for over a month, at which time the chicks can keep up with running adults.
Ezekiel: 🌟🌟🌟
• 26:14 & 21
Ezekiel prophesies that Tyrus will be completely destroyed by Nebuchadrezzar and will never be built again. But it wasn’t destroyed, as evidenced by the visits to Tyre by Jesus and Paul (Matthew 15:21, Mark 7:24, 31, Acts 21:3).
Daniel: 🌟🌟🌟
• 1:1
“In the third year of the reign of Jehoiakim king of Judah came Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon unto Jerusalem, and besieged it.” The third year of the reign of Jehoiakim would be 606 BCE, at which time Nebuchadnezzar was not yet king of Babylon. It was 597 BCE that Nebuchadnezzar invaded Jerusalem for the first time (without actually destroying it). By that time Jehohiakim was dead and his son, Jehoiachin, was ruling.
Hosea: 🌟🌟
• 6:2
“After two days will he revive us: in the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight.” This may be the verse referred to in Luke 18:31-33 and 1 Corinthians 15:3-4. However, Hosea 6:2 refers to the people living at the time (hence “us”) and therefore cannot be fulfilled by the death and resurrection of Jesus.
Joel: 🌟
• 3:2
“They … parted my land.” On January 5, 2006, Pat Robertson linked Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon’s recent stroke to God’s wrath, saying: “In the book of Joel, the prophet Joel makes it very clear that God has ‘enmity against those who divide my land.’” Although he didn’t quote chapter and verse, Joel 3:2 is probably what he was referring to, though his interpretation of that verse is a bit less than “very clear” to me.
Amos: 🌟
• 5:8
“Seek him that maketh the seven stars and Orion.” Other translations have “Pleiades” instead of “seven stars.” The Pleiades is an open star cluster that contains thousands of stars, not just the “seven stars” that are easily visible from earth without a telescope. And the constellation Orion is a collection of stars that happens to form an interesting, but temporary, pattern when viewed from earth. It was not purposefully designed by anyone or anything.
Obdiah: 🌟
• 1:15
“The day of the Lord is near.” If so, then it must have come and past, unnoticed, long before the birth of Jesus.
Jonah: 🌟
• 3:4
“Jonah began to enter into the city a day’s journey, and he cried, and said, Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown.” Jonah prophesies that in forty days Nineveh shall be overthrown. But it didn’t happen because God repented—to who though?—(Jonah 3:10).
Micah: 🌟
• 5:2
“But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah, though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting.” The gospel of Matthew (2:5-6) claims that Jesus’ birth in Bethlehem fulfils this prophecy. But this is unlikely since “Bethlehem Ephratah” in Micah 5:2 refers not to a town, but to a clan: the clan of Bethlehem, who was the son of Caleb’s second wife, Ephrathah (1 Chronicles 2:18, 2:50-52, 4:4). The prophecy (if that is what it is) does not refer to the Messiah, but rather to a military leader, as can be seen from verse 5:6. This leader is supposed to defeat the Assyrians, which, of course, Jesus never did. It should also be noted that Matthew altered the text of Micah 5:2 by saying: “And thou Bethlehem, in the land of Juda” rather than “Bethlehem Ephratah” as is said in Micah 5:2. He did this, intentionally no doubt, to make the verse appear to refer to the town of Bethlehem rather than the family clan.
Nahum: 🌟
• 3:13
“Behold, thy people in the midst of thee are women.” “You’re all a bunch of women” was the biggest insult God could think of at the moment.
Habakkuk: 🌟
• 2:8
“Because thou hast spoiled many nations, all the remnant of the people shall spoil thee.” God will strike down the Chaldeans (Babylonians) for attacking Israel. But, in verse 1:6, God made them do just that!
Zephaniah: 🌟
• 3:8
“I rise up to the prey: for my determination is to gather the nations, that I may assemble the kingdoms, to pour upon them mine indignation, even all my fierce anger: for all the earth shall be devoured with the fire of my jealousy.”
Haggai: 🌟
• 2:12-14
God has a conversation with Haggai and the priests about holy flesh, skirts touching bread or wine, the cleanliness of dead bodies, and whatnot. The main thing to remember here is this: Don’t let your holy flesh touch any food or wine, because if you do your flesh won’t be holy any more.
Zechariah: 🌟🌟
• 9:9
“Thy King cometh … riding upon an ass, and upon a colt the foal of an ass.” The gospels (especially Matthew 21:4-5 and John 12:14-15) claim that Jesus fulfils the prophecy of Zechariah 9:9. But the next few verses (9:10-13) show that the person referred to in this verse is a military king that would rule “from sea to sea”. Since Jesus had neither an army nor a kingdom, he could not have fulfilled this prophecy.
Malachi: 🌟
• 3:1, 4:5
“Behold, I will send my messenger, and he shall prepare the way before me.” The gospel of Mark claims that John the Baptist fulfilled the prophecy given in Malachi. But the Malachi prophecy says that God will send Elijah before “the great and dreadful day of the LORD” in which the world will be consumed by fire. Yet John the Baptist flatly denied that he was Elijah (Elias) in John 1:21 and the earth was not destroyed after John’s appearance.
THE NEW TESTAMENT
Matthew: 🌟🌟
• 24:14
“This gospel … shall be preached in all the world … and then shall the end come.” Jesus says the gospel will be preached to all nations “and then shall the end come.” But in Matthew 10:23, he said the end would come before the gospel was preached to all the cities of Israel. In any case, this is a false prophecy since the gospel has been preached throughout the world (as Paul says in Romans 10:18) yet the world hasn't ended.
• 24:14
“This gospel … shall be preached in all the world … and then shall the end come.” Jesus says the gospel will be preached to all nations “and then shall the end come.” But in Matthew 10:23, he said the end would come before the gospel was preached to all the cities of Israel. In any case, this is a false prophecy since the gospel has been preached throughout the world (as Paul says in Romans 10:18) yet the world hasn't ended.
Mark: 🌟🌟🌟
• 16:9-20
These verses are not found in the earlier manuscripts and are therefore considered later additions. So the gospel of Mark ended without anyone seeing the resurrected Jesus or any of the cool stuff about snake handling, drinking poison, or God-damned non-believers.
Luke: 🌟🌟
• 4:18
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me.” These words were spoken by Isaiah and referred to Isaiah. They were not a prophecy about a future prophet, as Jesus claims here, where he supposedly read these verses in the synagogue while applying them to himself. (See Isaiah 61:1-2) But the verses that Jesus read are not the same as those in Isaiah 61:1-2, which reads: “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn.” Did Jesus add the part about the blind and bruised to the verses he read from Isaiah? Or were they added later?
John: 🌟🌟🌟
• 7:53-8:11
This is one of the best-known and most-loved of all Bible stories, but it shouldn’t be in the Bible, for although some manuscripts put it here, others after John 7:36, 21:35, or Luke 21:38, it is not found anywhere in the oldest manuscripts.
Acts: 🌟🌟
• 7:4
“When his father was dead” Abraham’s father, Terah, was 70 when Abraham was born (Genesis 11:26), and died at 205 years of age (11:32). According to this verse, Abraham didn’t leave home until after Terah died. If so, then Abraham must have been at least 135 years old when he left Haran. Yet according to Genesis 12:4, Abraham was 75 years old when he left home.
Romans: 🌟🌟
• 16:1
“Phebe our sister, which is a servant of the church.” The Revised Standard Version calls Phoebe a “deaconess”, which would make would make her a church leader. If the RSV translation is correct, this verse contradicts the requirement that women not be permitted to teach and that they must be silent in church. (1 Corinthians 14:34-35, 1 Timothy 2:11-12).
1 Corinthians: 🌟
• 15:5
“He was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve.” But Judas hanged himself (Matthew 27:3-5) and Matthias was not elected (Acts 1:9-26) until after the ascension.
2 Corinthians: 🌟
• 6:14-17
Keep away from unbelievers. Neither marry nor be friends with them. How should nonbelievers be treated? KILL THEM: Deutoronomy 13:6-10. SHUN THEM: 2 Corinthians 6:14-17. LOVE AND BE KIND TO THEM: Leviticus 19:18; Matthew 5:44, 7:12, 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 6:27, 31, 10:27; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14; James 2:8.
Galatians: 🌟
• 1:15-18
Did Paul go to Jerusalem from Damascus immediately after his conversion? YES: Acts 9:26. NO: Galatians 1:15-18.
Ephesians: 🌟
• 4:8
Misquote of Psalms 68:18, which says: “Thou hast ascended on high, thou hast led captivity captive: thou hast received gifts for men.” The words and meaning of the psalm were changed from “received gifts” to “gave gifts.”
Philippians: 🌟
• 3:17
“Be followers together of me, and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample.” Forget Jesus. Paul says you should follow him and people that follow him.
Colossians: 🌟
• 4:16
“Read the epistle from Laodicea.” Apparently God intended to include the epistle from Laodicea in the Bible, but it was lost somewhere along the way. There were several letters that claimed to be the lost epistle (and one of these was often included in Latin medieval Bibles), but they are considered forgeries today (as is Colossians, itself, by many scholars).
1 Thessalonians: 🌟
• 4:15
“We which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.” 1 Thessalonians was one of the first Christian writings, yet already (ca.50 CE) believers were getting impatient about Jesus’ supposed return. Their fellow believers were dying and yet Jesus still hadn’t come. What the hell is taking him? And what happens to dead believers? Will they get to see Jesus return? Paul had a lot of ‘splainin to do.
2 Thessalonians: 🌟
• 2:2-9
If Paul wrote this letter (and many scholars think he didn’t), then he changed his mind (since writing 1 Thessalonians) about the timing of the Christ’s return. The day of the Lord is no longer at hand. In fact it’s nowhere near. Many things must happen first: there will be a great “falling away”, a “man of sin” will be reveled, and Satan will show off his power by doing all kinds of signs and wonders.
1 Timothy: 🌟
• 1:1-2
“Paul … Unto Timothy” Although First Timothy (and 2 Timothy... and Titus) claims to have been written by Paul, most scholars believe that it was written after his death.
2 Timothy: 🌟
• 3:16
“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” Even Leviticus 20:13, Judges 19:22-30 and Ezekiel 23:20?
Titus: 🌟
• 2:11
“The grace of God … hath appeared to all men.” At the time this statement was written, only a very small minority had seen or heard about Jesus. And still today there are those who have never heard his name.
Philemon: 🌟
• 10-12
“I beseech thee for my son Onesimus … Whom I have sent.” Paul returned the runaway slave, Onesimus, to his “rightful owner,” Philemon, asking him to receive him just as though he were Paul’s very “own bowels.” This was, of course, a great opportunity for Paul (and God) to condemn slavery—if he had anything against it, that is. But he didn’t. So he returned the slave to his owner without a word against the institution of slavery.
Hebrews: 🌟
• 9:4
“The ark of the covenant overlaid round about with gold, wherein was the golden pot that had manna, and Aaron’s rod that budded, and the tables of the covenant.” According to this verse, the ark of the covenant had a lot more in it that was reported in 1 Kings 8:9 and 2 Chronicles 5:10, both of which say that the ark had only Moses’ tablets. From the dimensions of the ark in Exodus 25:10, Aaron’s staff could hardly have fit anyway, since the ark was a box only 2.5 x 1.5 x 1.5 cubits. But, hey, maybe Aaron was a little short guy, or they broke his rod into pieces, or they just crammed it all in somehow. Who knows?
James: 🌟
• 4:5
“Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?” James quotes a scripture that says, “The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy.” But there is no such verse in the Bible.
1 Peter: 🌟
• 1:1
“Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ” The author of 1 Peter (and 2 Peter) claims to be the apostle Peter. Most Bible scholars, however, believe it was forged. (According to Acts 4:13, Peter was illiterate.)
2 Peter: 🌟
• 3:3-8
The author of 2 Peter is aware of the failed expectations of early believers. Jesus, who was to come soon, didn’t come at all. Many “scoffers” have begun to ask, “Where is the promise of his coming?” He tries to cover for Jesus by claiming that “one day with the Lord is as a thousand years.” It has been used by believers ever since.
1 John: 🌟
• 5:7
“For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one.” This is the clearest, and pretty much the only, expression of the Trinitarian concept in the Bible. It is not, however, found in the earliest Greek manuscripts and is omitted from most modern translations. Here, for example, are verses 7-8 in the New Revised Standard Version: “There are three that testify: the Spirit and the water and the blood, and these three agree.”
2 John: 🌟
• 5
“Love one another.” Except for all those antichrists (non-Christians), that is. Stay the hell away from them. (See verses 7-10)
3 John: 🌟
• 11
“He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God.” Does anyone ever do anything good? NO. Psalms 14:3, 53:3; Ecclesiastes 7:20; Isaiah 64:6; Romans 3:12. YES. John 5:29; 2 Corinthians 5:10; 3 John 11.
Jude: 🌟
• 14-15
“Enoch also, the seventh from Adam, prophesied of these, saying, Behold, the Lord cometh with ten thousands of his saints, To execute judgment upon all.” This prophecy is from the Book of Enoch (which the author considered scripture and believed was written by Enoch), not from the Bible.
Revelations: 🌟🌟
• 22:16
“I am .. the bright and morning star.” This verse refers to Jesus as the “bright and morning star”, as is Lucifer in Isaiah 14:12. So is Jesus Lucifer?
Content Warnings
Graphic: War, Sexual assault, Violence, Sexual violence, Slavery, Toxic relationship, Body horror, Child abuse, Excrement, Sexual harassment, Xenophobia, Animal death, Antisemitism, Blood, Bullying, Child death, Chronic illness, Classism, Cursing, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gore, Grief, Physical abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Mental illness, Misogyny, Murder, Pedophilia, Rape, Religious bigotry, Sexism, Adult/minor relationship, Animal cruelty, Colonisation, Death, Gaslighting, Genocide, Homophobia, Incest, Infidelity, Suicidal thoughts, and Torture
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