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jankmammal's review
4.0
Loved this book. Martha Beck is a fabulous writer, and I found the stuff on Mormonism fascinating.
heyreadingpants's review
3.0
I can't lie: I researched this book as I was reading it, and some of the controversy around whether Martha's account is true has affected my opinion. Slight spoilers ahead!
I lean toward believing victims of abuse as a default, so I don't really doubt her accusations of abuse. However, I am trained in creative writing and know that non-fiction is not always as free of some fiction as we expect. Things I'm not sure about - her account of some Mormon quirks, Mormon's reactions to Martha and her husband leaving the church and her recollections of conversations.
Several Mormons have come out against this book. Ok, that's an understatement - Mormons seem to broadly hate this book. While Martha herself explains that this could be because her father's high position makes them not believe her story, what bothers me is that they disagree with some of her other characterizations and stories about how Mormons behave. I picked up this book because I'm obsessed with Mormonism as an outsider - I wanted to know more about the Mormon culture and how they view the world. Because of the other reviews I've read of this book, I'm now doubting that Martha's story is a true view of Mormonism.
Martha's now ex-husband has publicly given her a 1-star review of this book on Amazon, primarily because he disagrees with her depiction of their Mormon friends' and his family's reactions to them leaving the church. He says he never saw their Mormon neighbors turn their backs on his family, never saw the threats Martha claims to have received. This feels huge - he is the only other person who was there for this. His dissidence seems very significant and casts doubt, for me, on the whole story.
Finally, I know - I KNOW - that people recreate conversations for memoirs as well as they can, and that they shouldn't be taken word for word. But Martha presents some of them as such strong evidence for her story, the word-for-word account seems to feel very important. Additionally, her conversations with her daughter throughout the book seem very age-inappropriate. She describes her daughter as very precocious, but I have never heard a child talk in the ways she has her daughter talking (particularly in the epilogue). Again, this casts doubt for me on the whole of the book.
So. Did I enjoy it? Yes. Do I believe it is a true and impartial account of her life? Absolutely not - I don't think any memoir ever is.
I lean toward believing victims of abuse as a default, so I don't really doubt her accusations of abuse. However, I am trained in creative writing and know that non-fiction is not always as free of some fiction as we expect. Things I'm not sure about - her account of some Mormon quirks, Mormon's reactions to Martha and her husband leaving the church and her recollections of conversations.
Several Mormons have come out against this book. Ok, that's an understatement - Mormons seem to broadly hate this book. While Martha herself explains that this could be because her father's high position makes them not believe her story, what bothers me is that they disagree with some of her other characterizations and stories about how Mormons behave. I picked up this book because I'm obsessed with Mormonism as an outsider - I wanted to know more about the Mormon culture and how they view the world. Because of the other reviews I've read of this book, I'm now doubting that Martha's story is a true view of Mormonism.
Martha's now ex-husband has publicly given her a 1-star review of this book on Amazon, primarily because he disagrees with her depiction of their Mormon friends' and his family's reactions to them leaving the church. He says he never saw their Mormon neighbors turn their backs on his family, never saw the threats Martha claims to have received. This feels huge - he is the only other person who was there for this. His dissidence seems very significant and casts doubt, for me, on the whole story.
Finally, I know - I KNOW - that people recreate conversations for memoirs as well as they can, and that they shouldn't be taken word for word. But Martha presents some of them as such strong evidence for her story, the word-for-word account seems to feel very important. Additionally, her conversations with her daughter throughout the book seem very age-inappropriate. She describes her daughter as very precocious, but I have never heard a child talk in the ways she has her daughter talking (particularly in the epilogue). Again, this casts doubt for me on the whole of the book.
So. Did I enjoy it? Yes. Do I believe it is a true and impartial account of her life? Absolutely not - I don't think any memoir ever is.
lovelyoutliers's review
4.0
I found this book fascinating, sobering, and really beautifully written. The author is able to condense and contextualise shocking and horrible personal experiences in the history and development of Mormonism. Very interesting.
booksam's review
3.0
Three stars for a well written and highly interesting book. I couldn't put it down!
But I didn't fully believe her all of the time (even her remembered trauma... I don't want to say that she was lying or delusional but the whole situation was weird). And I thought that the way she portrayed Mormons wasn't very sensitive to the fact that not all Mormons are like the ones she wrote about. I had to keep trying to justify what she was saying by telling myself that the Mormons in Utah must be much more hardcore and exclusive then they are in other parts of the country, or that she must have had some really bad luck with the Mormons she happened to know.
Overall some of the book just didn't sit right with me. But I'm still glad that I read it.
But I didn't fully believe her all of the time (even her remembered trauma... I don't want to say that she was lying or delusional but the whole situation was weird). And I thought that the way she portrayed Mormons wasn't very sensitive to the fact that not all Mormons are like the ones she wrote about. I had to keep trying to justify what she was saying by telling myself that the Mormons in Utah must be much more hardcore and exclusive then they are in other parts of the country, or that she must have had some really bad luck with the Mormons she happened to know.
Overall some of the book just didn't sit right with me. But I'm still glad that I read it.
library_lurker's review
5.0
a super poignant memoir of the long process of dealing with trauma and the clarity that it can sometimes bring to you. it's riveting, and--despite the book's heavy subject matter--occasionally very funny, and almost always clever. it surprised me, it changed my view on several matters, i couldn't put it down. if you have a sexual abuse history, please proceed with caution--it can be very, very intense. but sometimes what shakes us up is what we most need...
tamarayork's review
4.0
Having lived in “Happy Valley” (Orem/Provo, UT), with a Mormon ex as a Non-Mormon, I found this book very interesting. The details of the LDS Church, it’s formation, beliefs, history, and structure are so bizarre. The more you learn and the digger you dig, the weirder it gets. Yet, I found the LDS people to be super nice, like living in a Disney movie. The author manages to share her experience and detachment from the Mormon faith while still maintaining a love for LDS people. This is not a bitter memoir. Her abuse as a child is heart-breaking, but her attitude and journey to healing are uplifting. This reminded me of Educated by Tara Westover a little bit. Very good.
zoenikos's review
5.0
This book had a long history for me. Years ago I read Expecting Adam and loved it. A friend I loaned it to was skeptical however, and did some research. In retrospect that must have been about the time Leaving the Saints was hitting the Mormon community like a flaming bag full of poo. There were plenty of people to be found online claiming that Martha Beck was a compulsive liar who'd made up half of the details in a book she explicitly labeled a true story (Expecting Adam), and that much of the content in Leaving the Saints had been refuted by everyone from her ex-husband to her hairdresser. I was a tiny bit crushed and bitter because reading Expecting Adam I felt like I'd gotten to know her and felt betrayed, like a close friend had lied to me. After that I forgot about Martha Beck for a while and became obsessed with the wacky Mitfords.
Recently something that had to do with Beck piqued my attention (damned if I can remember what) and I found myself putting this book on hold at the library. Before I started it I revisited some of the online controversy about the book and Martha in general. I was determined not to be taken in this time so I wanted to make sure I had as much of both sides of the story as possible. All this to say that I went into this book with a somewhat cynical attitude. I kind of didn't want to believe her, damn that fibbing Martha Beck!
However, after reading the entire book, I'm pretty sure that Martha is an intelligent, kind, honest person who was a victim of a smear campaign by the Mormon church. She had the dubious luck to be part of a famous Mormon family. Her father is revered as an apologist for the faith by the Mormon church & community and unfortunately her book is the story of how she dealt with the aftermath of being sexually abused by this man as a young child: Cue the shouts of "Heresy!!"
After reading Under the Banner of Heaven, everything Martha writes about just confirms my certainty that although the vast majority of Mormon people are good, sincere (I've only known a few Latter Day Saints, but they were all just... nice*) people, the Mormon church leadership is the typical religious establishment with a hefty dose of rabid paranoia, propaganda, and barely subdued violence. Beck lays out a lot of the basic Mormon beliefs which, she says, the average Mormon is not even fully aware of. Mormons are encouraged not to think too deeply about their faith and even the academics are at BYU are suspiciously watched and distrusted by the church authorities.
The fact that her family had publicly denied and even ridiculed Beck's claims of abuse was one of the things that made me leery of her claims in the first place. However, knowing that denial and mocking of the victim is a common trait in dysfunctional families, and that her siblings are all still deeply involved in the Mormon church, along with Beck's loving and understanding descriptions of her siblings in spite of their lack of support made me fairly certain that Beck is the one telling the truth here. Her father died shortly after the book was published, still refusing to acknowledge her claims.
I enjoyed this book quite a bit and found I identified with Beck in a lot of areas, especially the matter of growing up in a repressive (though less so, in my case) religious atmosphere and then finding my way as an adult to my own beliefs. She occasionally goes too far off the wacky spirituality spectrum for me to follow, but in general we have very similar outlooks on life.
*And I don't mean that in a negative way. I mean genuinely kind and well-intentioned.
Recently something that had to do with Beck piqued my attention (damned if I can remember what) and I found myself putting this book on hold at the library. Before I started it I revisited some of the online controversy about the book and Martha in general. I was determined not to be taken in this time so I wanted to make sure I had as much of both sides of the story as possible. All this to say that I went into this book with a somewhat cynical attitude. I kind of didn't want to believe her, damn that fibbing Martha Beck!
However, after reading the entire book, I'm pretty sure that Martha is an intelligent, kind, honest person who was a victim of a smear campaign by the Mormon church. She had the dubious luck to be part of a famous Mormon family. Her father is revered as an apologist for the faith by the Mormon church & community and unfortunately her book is the story of how she dealt with the aftermath of being sexually abused by this man as a young child: Cue the shouts of "Heresy!!"
After reading Under the Banner of Heaven, everything Martha writes about just confirms my certainty that although the vast majority of Mormon people are good, sincere (I've only known a few Latter Day Saints, but they were all just... nice*) people, the Mormon church leadership is the typical religious establishment with a hefty dose of rabid paranoia, propaganda, and barely subdued violence. Beck lays out a lot of the basic Mormon beliefs which, she says, the average Mormon is not even fully aware of. Mormons are encouraged not to think too deeply about their faith and even the academics are at BYU are suspiciously watched and distrusted by the church authorities.
The fact that her family had publicly denied and even ridiculed Beck's claims of abuse was one of the things that made me leery of her claims in the first place. However, knowing that denial and mocking of the victim is a common trait in dysfunctional families, and that her siblings are all still deeply involved in the Mormon church, along with Beck's loving and understanding descriptions of her siblings in spite of their lack of support made me fairly certain that Beck is the one telling the truth here. Her father died shortly after the book was published, still refusing to acknowledge her claims.
I enjoyed this book quite a bit and found I identified with Beck in a lot of areas, especially the matter of growing up in a repressive (though less so, in my case) religious atmosphere and then finding my way as an adult to my own beliefs. She occasionally goes too far off the wacky spirituality spectrum for me to follow, but in general we have very similar outlooks on life.
*And I don't mean that in a negative way. I mean genuinely kind and well-intentioned.