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4.1 AVERAGE
4.1 AVERAGE
Disclaimer: I genuinely liked this book a lot, but I also had a couple problems with it. (I put this in because I started my review with bashing instead of compliments.)
I really hated all of the characters in this book. I hated them all for one specific reason: they were all sooOOOooooOOOOOOOoooooo diFfeREnt. "I love theater and I'm poor but I only wear true vintage clothing." "My best friends, who are a lesbian and only wears Sailor Moon-style clothes even though we're in HIGH SCHOOL in the CENTRAL VALLEY and the evangelical Christian who has no other character traits." "The boy I'm in love with who is a Kurt Cobain-esque rocker boy wears a fedora." (sidenote: anyone who unironically wears a fedora is BAD FUCKING NEWS and I could have told you that BEFORE reading this book too.)
HOWEVER. This book's content was truly amazing. I think Heather Demetrios handled this heavy and important topic in a really great way. Grace was clearly a vulnerable character who was preyed upon by Gavin. I loved that from the VERY BEGINNING the reader knew that Grace knew that the relationship was toxic, and that she was looking back and identifying red flags (without giving the whole plot away). It was smart that we were in Grace's head while she thought about everything that had happened to her, so we could see both her vulnerability in the moment as well as her strength after the fact. I think this book would be an excellent read for all girls and boys, especially while they are still young and in high school, to learn about the signs of abusive, manipulative relationships. I thought it was handled in this book exceptionally well and it is an extremely difficult topic to discuss. I haven't read another book that writes about such a relationship without romanticizing it in any way.
I really hated all of the characters in this book. I hated them all for one specific reason: they were all sooOOOooooOOOOOOOoooooo diFfeREnt. "I love theater and I'm poor but I only wear true vintage clothing." "My best friends, who are a lesbian and only wears Sailor Moon-style clothes even though we're in HIGH SCHOOL in the CENTRAL VALLEY and the evangelical Christian who has no other character traits." "The boy I'm in love with who is a Kurt Cobain-esque rocker boy wears a fedora." (sidenote: anyone who unironically wears a fedora is BAD FUCKING NEWS and I could have told you that BEFORE reading this book too.)
HOWEVER. This book's content was truly amazing. I think Heather Demetrios handled this heavy and important topic in a really great way. Grace was clearly a vulnerable character who was preyed upon by Gavin. I loved that from the VERY BEGINNING the reader knew that Grace knew that the relationship was toxic, and that she was looking back and identifying red flags (without giving the whole plot away). It was smart that we were in Grace's head while she thought about everything that had happened to her, so we could see both her vulnerability in the moment as well as her strength after the fact. I think this book would be an excellent read for all girls and boys, especially while they are still young and in high school, to learn about the signs of abusive, manipulative relationships. I thought it was handled in this book exceptionally well and it is an extremely difficult topic to discuss. I haven't read another book that writes about such a relationship without romanticizing it in any way.
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
This is a better alternative to It Ends With Us.
This book doesn’t romanticize abuse in anyway. It’s very informative and realistic.
You get the feelings of everyone involved.
This book doesn’t romanticize abuse in anyway. It’s very informative and realistic.
You get the feelings of everyone involved.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Self harm, Toxic relationship, Suicide attempt
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Gaslighting
Something in me is dimming, something that I already know I can’t get back. But you’re worth it. You are. I will tell myself this for several more months. And when I realize you aren’t worth it, it’ll be too late.
4 1/2 stars. This book had a really powerful emotional effect on me. I hadn't meant to, but once I'd started, I had to finish it in one sitting, so I found myself wide-eyed and blinking back tears in the early morning hours. This is what I'd hoped [b:The Girl Who Fell|22864430|The Girl Who Fell|S.M. Parker|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1428377532s/22864430.jpg|42431495] would be.
It is such an emotional ride with vivid, evocative writing. Demetrios is fantastic at both introspection - examining the way Grace thinks and how she gradually slips into a toxic relationship - and building a visual of this suffocating suburban California town. Ultimately, she shows how a difficult home life and unsupportive parents can lead a young girl to look for love in all the wrong places, and how abuse is cyclical in nature.
That’s how the worst year of my life starts—in a Mustang with steamed-up windows, with a beautiful boy who cries.
I like that the author writes about poor kids, both in this book and in [b:I'll Meet You There|21469068|I'll Meet You There|Heather Demetrios|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1403897439s/21469068.jpg|24893471]. Middle/upper-middle class kids get a lot of coverage in YA, but the poorer kids less so. Here, Grace lives with her mother and abusive stepfather. Her mother plays the role of "Contrite and Subservient Female" and her stepfather is "The Giant". The severe emotional abuse present in their relationship will serve as a comparison as Grace's relationship makes its own downward spiral.
The thing that Demetrios does better here than Parker did with [b:The Girl Who Fell|22864430|The Girl Who Fell|S.M. Parker|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1428377532s/22864430.jpg|42431495] is that we can easily see the attraction of Gavin. He is both unique to this book and yet he fills a role that is utterly timeless - the tortured bad boy who needs Grace's help to get his life on track. [b:Bad Romance|29102896|Bad Romance|Heather Demetrios|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1475530166s/29102896.jpg|47434524] made me understand how a person could need someone enough to ignore the controlling behaviour; how a person could feel responsible for someone else's well-being.
You can feel the suffocating nature of everything throughout - Grace's small town, her life with the parents who make every day torture, and Gavin. The familial relationships are so complex and heartbreaking. I spent most of the novel HATING her mother, and yet there were moments where it was hard not to find sympathy for her. Even Grace's disgusting stepfather is allowed human moments that make him more than a mindless villain.
Still talking about relationships, the triad of amazing female friendship that is Grace, Nat and Lys is just... perfection. They make an odd group with Nat being an "evangelical Christian" and Lys being a "socialist lesbian", but they are the perfect friends and bring some light to this otherwise very dark story.
The narrative is a dramatic second person, past tense. Somehow, it works very well. Grace addresses YOU, as in Gavin, and narrates from a place where the worst has already happened. This is a technique that I find I almost always like. You might assume the inevitably takes something away from the tension, but I think the opposite is true. Even as you fall in love with Gavin alongside Grace, you can feel the change coming. You know disaster is just around the corner and you are powerless to stop it. It's awful and intoxicating.
Such an important and powerful read.
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4,5 stars. This book kind of wrecked me. I know all about so-called “Prince Charmings” who turn out to be exactly the opposite. And how hard it is to let go, because, deep down, you still want to be loved, even in this way. To the girls who found the courage to walk out of toxic relationships, you are some of the strongest creatures in the world. You are an inspiration and your actions deserve all the praise. You are so much more than your “bad romance”.
I don’t even have words for this book tbh. This is a story about bad relationships, love, emotional and sexual abuse, controlling behaviour and great friendship.
Be warned going in to this as there is a lot of trigger warnings.
One of the best, most poignant book i have read in a long time.
Having had to deal with an emotionally and physically abusive partner before, the author got a lot of this spot on and never romanticised a single thing about any of this. While this was a difficult read, it was also an important one to learn that you can come out the other side and that when you have amazing people around you, they will stick by you.
Be warned going in to this as there is a lot of trigger warnings.
One of the best, most poignant book i have read in a long time.
Having had to deal with an emotionally and physically abusive partner before, the author got a lot of this spot on and never romanticised a single thing about any of this. While this was a difficult read, it was also an important one to learn that you can come out the other side and that when you have amazing people around you, they will stick by you.
challenging
dark
emotional
slow-paced
Strong character development:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
My goodness is Heather Demetrios slept on. I cannot get enough of her writing. She’s not afraid to broach the hard topics and tackles them unapologetically.
Oof, this book was tough. I gasped multiple times. It was confronting but an honest portrayal of toxic relationships and why women cannot leave them. You see how a beautiful young love slowly mutates to a toxic relationship. Gavin gaslights her, makes her feel insecure, forces her to let him read her private diary and embarrasses her for a promposal. Big yikes. How I feel for Grace. You grow to despise Gavin but you can also sympathise with him. You feel the push n pull that Grace must’ve felt.
Oof, this book was tough. I gasped multiple times. It was confronting but an honest portrayal of toxic relationships and why women cannot leave them. You see how a beautiful young love slowly mutates to a toxic relationship. Gavin gaslights her, makes her feel insecure, forces her to let him read her private diary and embarrasses her for a promposal. Big yikes. How I feel for Grace. You grow to despise Gavin but you can also sympathise with him. You feel the push n pull that Grace must’ve felt.
Tears were streaming down my face by the time I finished this book. Bravo.
Gideon was so cute, I wish they got their HEA but the ending was perfect.
Quotes:
- I gave you my heart on a silver fucking platter and you ate it, piece by bloody piece.
- I’m new territory and you’ve planted your flag
- Medicine, law, business, engineering are necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, and love--these are what we live for.
- Gideon leads me to the center of the floor, then takes my arms and drapes them around his neck. His hands slide around my waist. His cheek rests against mine.
Gideon was so cute, I wish they got their HEA but the ending was perfect.
Quotes:
- I gave you my heart on a silver fucking platter and you ate it, piece by bloody piece.
- I’m new territory and you’ve planted your flag
- Medicine, law, business, engineering are necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, and love--these are what we live for.
- Gideon leads me to the center of the floor, then takes my arms and drapes them around his neck. His hands slide around my waist. His cheek rests against mine.
"I've been working up the courage to do this all night, you know," he says softly.
I smile. "You have?"
Wow. Triggering. Abusive relationship. Controlling. But really good.
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes