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3.9 AVERAGE
3.9 AVERAGE
The bacha posh tradition exists because sons are valued while girls are not and boys are allowed to do things that girls are not. Yet this tradition shows more than anything else that there isn't really that much difference between boys and girls beyond the expectations and limitations that society at large puts on them.
After Obayda's father loses a leg in a terrible explosion when there are out at the market one day, her family needs as much luck as they can get. Moving from Kabul out to a small village to be nearer to extended family who is now helping them brings the first big change. The second comes when Obayda's aunt has the idea that Obayda be a bacha posh - a young girl who lives and dresses as a boy to bring the family luck. The idea is that Obayda live as a boy until her parents have another baby that will be a boy because of the luck Obayda will bring to the family; then that son will bring the family even more luck.
Changing her name to Obayd, she struggles at first because she thinks of herself as a girl in boy's clothes. Through a chance meeting with another bacha posh, the two become fast friends. While Obayd begins to truly love the freedom he experiences as a boy. At the same time, tension builds in the home as Obayd's mother treats him as a boy, with all the special privileges associated with being a boy, while his sisters have to take on the chores that he no longer has to do and have to give up eating meat because their brother is a growing boy and needs the meat more than they do.
But the problem with being a bacha posh is that it is temporary. Obayd will have to go back to being Obayda, either when the baby is born if it's a boy, or when he begins to go through puberty and his body begins to change.
While I was not familiar with the concept of a bacha posh, this story was written in such a way that identifying with Obayd is so easy. From his learning how to be a boy to the struggles that he faced when he had to go back to being Obayda again. I loved the whispered conversation that Obayda and her sisters have towards the end of the book where they are trying to figure out what it means to be a boy and what it means to be a girl.
The concept of a bacha posh really highlights the differences in how boys and girls are treated, and how that affects them. As Obayd/Obadya illustrated, the ability to do things was not dependent on whether he was Obayd or she was Obayda. It has everything to do with the expectations and permissions given to both sexes.
The ending of this book, for both Obayd(a) and Rahim(a) was so good. Now I definitely want to read The Pearl That Broke It's Shell so that I can learn about Rahim(a)'s full story. I also want to learn more about bacha poshes, too. It is a surprising exercise in a country that still dictates what women can and cannot do so strictly.
I also had the opportunity to listen to the audiobook version of this book, narrated by Ariana Delawari. She did a wonderful job with the narration. I wish there was an audiobook version of The Pearl That Broke It's Shell but, since there isn't at the moment, I hope that Ariana Delawari is chosen to narrate it; she would do a really good job with it, too.
After Obayda's father loses a leg in a terrible explosion when there are out at the market one day, her family needs as much luck as they can get. Moving from Kabul out to a small village to be nearer to extended family who is now helping them brings the first big change. The second comes when Obayda's aunt has the idea that Obayda be a bacha posh - a young girl who lives and dresses as a boy to bring the family luck. The idea is that Obayda live as a boy until her parents have another baby that will be a boy because of the luck Obayda will bring to the family; then that son will bring the family even more luck.
Changing her name to Obayd, she struggles at first because she thinks of herself as a girl in boy's clothes. Through a chance meeting with another bacha posh, the two become fast friends. While Obayd begins to truly love the freedom he experiences as a boy. At the same time, tension builds in the home as Obayd's mother treats him as a boy, with all the special privileges associated with being a boy, while his sisters have to take on the chores that he no longer has to do and have to give up eating meat because their brother is a growing boy and needs the meat more than they do.
But the problem with being a bacha posh is that it is temporary. Obayd will have to go back to being Obayda, either when the baby is born if it's a boy, or when he begins to go through puberty and his body begins to change.
While I was not familiar with the concept of a bacha posh, this story was written in such a way that identifying with Obayd is so easy. From his learning how to be a boy to the struggles that he faced when he had to go back to being Obayda again. I loved the whispered conversation that Obayda and her sisters have towards the end of the book where they are trying to figure out what it means to be a boy and what it means to be a girl.
The concept of a bacha posh really highlights the differences in how boys and girls are treated, and how that affects them. As Obayd/Obadya illustrated, the ability to do things was not dependent on whether he was Obayd or she was Obayda. It has everything to do with the expectations and permissions given to both sexes.
The ending of this book, for both Obayd(a) and Rahim(a) was so good. Now I definitely want to read The Pearl That Broke It's Shell so that I can learn about Rahim(a)'s full story. I also want to learn more about bacha poshes, too. It is a surprising exercise in a country that still dictates what women can and cannot do so strictly.
I also had the opportunity to listen to the audiobook version of this book, narrated by Ariana Delawari. She did a wonderful job with the narration. I wish there was an audiobook version of The Pearl That Broke It's Shell but, since there isn't at the moment, I hope that Ariana Delawari is chosen to narrate it; she would do a really good job with it, too.
fast-paced
I was SO ready to give this book at least four stars. The writing is simple but totally effective. I was immersed in Obeyda's story, feeling what she felt. The friendship between Rahim and Obeyd was beautiful and heartbreaking; every simple detail rendered to perfection. The narrator's casual internalized misogyny is gently challenged. And as someone who grew up as a girl in a very different culture, doing my own crossing-of-gender-lines despite social disapproval, it was easy for me to care deeply about every single bit of this story. I couldn't help but wonder how I would have felt if I'd truly been allowed to "become" a boy like Obeyd, and what a nightmare I would have emerged into if I were then forced to change back.
I say that not to compare our experiences (mine were a hundred times gentler) but precisely BECAUSE our experiences can't be compared. I grew up in a culture where women could vote, choose marriage partners, and publish novels. I went to school with boys, played sports with boys, rode my bike with boys, and yet the trauma of such changes, against my will, would have been horrific. So why did the ending of this book feel so . . . simple?
And what about Rahim? Obeyd's best friend is taken home, forcibly reverted to girlhood, and married off to an abusive warlord at age 13. Obeyd sneaks in to see Rahim once, grieves his friend deeply, and then I guess . . . just thinks wistfully of this person in a "wow, that was a beautiful friendship I won't ever have again" way rather than a "oh my god, my best friend is being assaulted and held against their will in a compound after years of vowing to live life as a boy forever," like how was I supposed to feel any positive emotions the entire rest of the book?
Why was Obeyd/Obeyda happy near the end? Why were they coming to terms with the situation? Why was this presented as hopeful rather than a trauma/shock response? The first 70% of the book was incredible. And the ending wasn't bad or unrealistic, exactly, it just . . . lacked the emotional nuance that such a complicated situation deserved.
I say that not to compare our experiences (mine were a hundred times gentler) but precisely BECAUSE our experiences can't be compared. I grew up in a culture where women could vote, choose marriage partners, and publish novels. I went to school with boys, played sports with boys, rode my bike with boys, and yet the trauma of such changes, against my will, would have been horrific. So why did the ending of this book feel so . . . simple?
Spoiler
Obeyd is willing to make life-threatening treks to remain a boy, describes boyhood as "like when it's been freezing cold all winter and then--one day--it's suddenly spring and warm enough that you don't need a coat." This child absolutely comes alive being a boy. But when Obeyd's parents insist that he become a girl again, overnight, he's angry with them for one evening? The next day, as Obeyda, she realizes they just want the best for her, and they share heartwarming family moments about how the parents don't think girls are inferior and are proud of their daughters no matter what. And that's great, but at no point in the story does Obeyd want to remain a boy because his parents hate girls; it's because he thrives in a society where he's treated as a human being and has freedoms girls can't even imagine. I didn't feel settled or happy at the end even though the writing seemed to suggest things had been resolved--Obeyda is going to be trapped in this hell of womanhood in a culture that despises her, regardless of her father's kindness! How could it have taken her "a few days" to get used to "being a girl again"?And what about Rahim? Obeyd's best friend is taken home, forcibly reverted to girlhood, and married off to an abusive warlord at age 13. Obeyd sneaks in to see Rahim once, grieves his friend deeply, and then I guess . . . just thinks wistfully of this person in a "wow, that was a beautiful friendship I won't ever have again" way rather than a "oh my god, my best friend is being assaulted and held against their will in a compound after years of vowing to live life as a boy forever," like how was I supposed to feel any positive emotions the entire rest of the book?
Why was Obeyd/Obeyda happy near the end? Why were they coming to terms with the situation? Why was this presented as hopeful rather than a trauma/shock response? The first 70% of the book was incredible. And the ending wasn't bad or unrealistic, exactly, it just . . . lacked the emotional nuance that such a complicated situation deserved.
emotional
informative
medium-paced
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
No
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
This story opened my eyes to a topic I know nothing about. It sparked my curiosity and had me looking into practices like Bacha Posh all around the world. I am thankful I had the opportunity to read this book and grow as a reader and a human.
4.5 stars because I wanted MORE story but this was beautifully written and an engaging story like always.
Reminiscent of Breadwinner by Deborah Ellis. Fantastic story that expands on a practice that a lot of people might not know about today.
challenging
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes