Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika L. Sánchez

13 reviews

op3's review against another edition

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adventurous challenging dark emotional hopeful informative mysterious reflective sad fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

2.5

I really tried to love this book. I really did. I found the quality of writing lazy and rushed, the only highlight was the ending which I found to be just ok. So that’s what I’m rating the book as. Just ok.
Often times I take at least an hour or two to pick out books I want to read so I can enjoy what I read. This is one of those books I avoid when I spend that time searching. This is a testimony that I should keep doing that. But the ending was okay. The fluff was ok if you consider there to be any.

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sadie1717's review against another edition

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emotional inspiring reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.75


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bookishmillennial's review against another edition

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dark emotional funny hopeful mysterious reflective sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial

I really appreciated 15/16-year-old Julia Reyes's messy personal development in this young adult coming-of-age story. Julia tells this story in first-person, past-tense POV, and this is a character-driven, slow-paced story that explores identity, grief, authenticity, and what it means to live. I am not Mexican, but I do share the identity of being a first-generation child of immigrants, and in that particular light, I deeply related to Julia's journey, especially the generational differences that threatened to dismantle any relationship she had with her mom or dad.

The story takes place in Chicago, IL after Julia's older sister Olga dies in a tragic car accident as she was crossing the street and distracted by her cell phone. Julia always felt she lived in Olga's shadow, as Olga was *the* "perfect Mexican daughter," and in the wake of her death, that shadow only grows. Her distinctions from Olga are under even more scrutiny, and it is a devastatingly heavy burden to bear. Julia was never the obedient daughter, she hated learning how to cook with her mom, and she constantly challenged her parents' authority. Her mom consistently calls Julia "ungrateful" and uses guilt as a way to shame Julia for not making her parents happy. It is painful to read, as it felt very familiar; the constant exhaustion of knowing that nothing you do will ever be enough to pay back your parents who overcame unimaginable trauma to come here feels insurmountable at times.

However, I admired Julia for speaking up and being so incredibly bold and glib. I recognize many people have called her "unlikeable" but I found Julia to be so authentic when I look back on my own teenage experience, pushing and pulling between being a first-generation kid who wanted to do well by their parents, but also wanted to be trusted and have a "normal" American teenage life. To talk back to my parents meant even more autonomy being taken away. That was something I rarely did as a teenager, because I was so scared of consequences. For Julia? Consequences be damned! Is she a bit flippant and ignorant sometimes? Absolutely. She made offensive comments like "hookers" and "gangbangers," but I also think that's representative of a young, angry, frustrated kid. Her phone would be taken away and she couldn't go to the library, and yes, she put up a stink, but she constantly advocated for herself, and I think she more confidently found her voice in therapy too.   

There is a subplot of romance between Julia and Connor, which was illuminating for Julia, since she is mostly "inexperienced" as the story begins. I appreciated the argument that Julia got into with her friend about Julia being "uptight" and acting like she was too good for anything. We look for "yes men" and people who will become an echo chamber as friends, especially when we're young as we are rediscovering who we are. However, her friend didn't let Julia walk all over her or proclaim to walk through life as the only "right way". I don't know if that makes sense but this one interaction really spoke to me, and there are so many moments like this throughout the novel which force Julia to confront who she is, who she wants to be, and what that means regarding how she spends her free time, her relationship with her family, college, and writing as an occupation. 

The final reveal of the secret life Olga was leading was sad but also satisfying for me to read, because it only affirmed to Julia that Julia would never live up to the "perfect Mexican daughter" ideal, because even her seemingly perfect sister wasn't. Some of it was an act, and she had to hide parts of herself in order to protect optics and make her parents proud. I appreciated this because it brought Olga down to earth, rather than being this unattainable ideal as Julia always thought she was.


This was a powerful narrative about Julia discovering not only herself, but the ways in which the world around her operates, and I highly recommend it to anyone. 

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cielosiluminado's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

leer este libro me causó tener una crisis emocional porque relacioné mucho con julia y el tema de los cosas que gente de primera generación navegan, especialmente sobre la identidad y que confundido es para nosotros porque ningún lado nos acepta completamente T__T

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mromie's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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salemwasinyouryard's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional funny inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0


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aly97's review against another edition

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emotional reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75


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ifwyshay's review against another edition

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adventurous challenging emotional funny inspiring lighthearted sad fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

i loved this book so much.

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ksuazo94's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75


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mikaelaandherbooks's review against another edition

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dark emotional sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

While it is great that this book seeks to cover heavy topics in this coming of age novel, it is overall very slow paced and a bit disconjointed/rushed in places throughout the storyline.

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