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3.42 AVERAGE
3.42 AVERAGE
An interesting setting.
It had been e few weeks after I read this book and I must say that it was indeed a pageturner.
Tenley aka "Ten" is a girl that is quite obsessed with numbers which I somehow didn't quite understand. The book is about 3 different worlds. Earth (Firstlife), Troika (heaven), Myriad (a hybrid between hell and heaven) and Many Ends (hell) though the latter is seen as a myth.
Ten needs to choose before her 18th birthday between the two afterlife realms. If she doesn't choose she'll end up in many ends at the time of her death.
There is a slight love triangle which, I didn't mind the one thing that bothered me was that I didn't feel connected to Ten or any other character. The setting was nice though and the story original enough.
Definitely worth a go.
It had been e few weeks after I read this book and I must say that it was indeed a pageturner.
Tenley aka "Ten" is a girl that is quite obsessed with numbers which I somehow didn't quite understand. The book is about 3 different worlds. Earth (Firstlife), Troika (heaven), Myriad (a hybrid between hell and heaven) and Many Ends (hell) though the latter is seen as a myth.
Ten needs to choose before her 18th birthday between the two afterlife realms. If she doesn't choose she'll end up in many ends at the time of her death.
There is a slight love triangle which, I didn't mind the one thing that bothered me was that I didn't feel connected to Ten or any other character. The setting was nice though and the story original enough.
Definitely worth a go.
I tried so hard to like this book. SO. HARD. But in all honesty, it is one of the worst books I have ever read.
Before I get into ALL THE THINGS wrong with this book, let me point out the positives.
1) The idea is pretty darn cool.
Essentially your life starts when you die. There are two realms in the Everlife battling for power: Myriad and Troika. Before dying, you have to sign your soul off to one of them. If you die unsigned, your soul will end up in Many Ends, a place you wouldn't wish on anyone.
I'm not going to give you a summary of the plot, but trust me when I say it sounds a lot cooler than it actually is.
-->The cover is gorgeous. But as you'll see shortly, I believe all the money went into the graphic design of this cover and ZERO! dollars went into hiring a bonafide editor.
Now for the cons...get comfy ladies and gentleman, you're in for a long ride.
WARNING: When a teen fantasy book starts off with,"Duuude. A heads-up would have been nice. Can you say whack shack?"...you know you're going to have a bad time.
1) The main character's name is Tenley "Ten" Lockwood and she's obsessed with numbers...:::insert eye roll here::: It's so cheesy it's not even original.
2) The author must have never heard the phrase "less is more" because there are exclamation points after EVERYTHING. You cannot read a single page without at least one. It makes everything sound so ridiculous! So over-the-top! And not to mention even more cheesy....:::more eye rolling...
3) The book is told from Ten's POV so we are constantly in her head and she's ALWAYS questioning herself. Let me tell you, you're going to see her questioning herself even more than you see exclamation points...you've been warned. It's the MOST aggravating thing EVER.
Imagine this: You walk into a room. In it sits a single chair. Should you sit? Should you stand? Or should you just walk on by? WHO CARES?! I wanted to punch her. This method of writing felt so formulaic that I could not stand it. I repeat: I. COULD. NOT. STAND. IT.
4) Instead of saying, "Gosh" or something to that effect, Ten constantly says "Zero!" (And yes, almost always with an exclamation point because of course, why not. I think this was the author's way of trying to make her quirky because no one says "Zero!" instead of "gosh" unless of course your name is a number...:::the eye rolls continue...
5) The love interest, Killian, is Irish and the author tries to remind us of that by making him say "lass" at the end of most sentences in addition to saying "dinnae" (Scottish term for "don't" according to Google) just in case we forgot that he isn't from around the area. It felt so forced though, I mean it's a 400+ book and he only says "dinnae" about 3 times. Is that the only Scottish slang the author knows so she felt she has to put it in to show her diversity? I just don't understand.
6) Ten also has no idea what friends are. She calls people she fights with and barely knows at all her best friends...what? No sweetheart, they are acquaintances at best. You have no friends because you're an idiot.
7) The plot. The idea had promise but the plot was horrifically done. Let's just say this book has more plot holes than Chicago has potholes (and if you've been to Chicago, you know that's saying something).
There are two major plot holes:
--Why are Myriad and Troika at war you may ask? Well that's a good questions because WE AREN'T TOLD.
--Ten won't sign with either...why? WE DON'T KNOW WHY. She just spends the entire book trying to avoid it, only to sign with one in the very last sentence.
So essentially we are given a story that we are supposed to care about it without being told why we are supposed to care. Or even what the motive is.
8) This is supposed to be a fantasy book. But the author talks about New York, Hawaii, LA..etc. and it just feels awkward. Apparently everything takes place in modern day (although we aren't given a year) but because of all the talk with the Everlife and Troika, Myriad, etc. it doesn't feel like it's part of the same story. The world-building effect feels incredibly disjointed like the author got lost in her own story.
9) THE WRITING. OH MY WORD. THE WRITING. I literally can't even explain how terrible it is so I'm just going to leave you with actual quotes and let you see for yourself.
[A guy asks:] "Have your cycles finally synced?" Oh, them be fightin' words. I yawn again, my jaw cracking. Okay fine. Them be fightin' words tomorrow. What? Who's inner dialogue actually thinks like that?
"...He's hot," Sloan syas in a stage whisper. Hoping he'll hear and respond? Then she gives up all pretense of timidity and makes grabby hands. "Yummy yum yum, give baby some sugar." There's only of Ten's stupid mental questions for you, not to mention Sloan's grabby hands...NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T DO THESE THINGS.
How do others choose? What seems like a great idea one moment can become a nightmare later on. I know this. I've seen pictures of my teenage mother's new perm-hello frizz. The author tries so hard to make the characters funny. They're not.
"Oh, thank goodness, I would rather smell like fart for all time than be in your debt for a single minute." What? How do those two things even relate to each other? That's the FIRST thing you think to write-smelling like fart for all time?
"...I need a moment of privacy." My bladder is demanding serious attention. ....Why should I care about her bladder?
"...in case your puny brain isn't hip to my hop." NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT. I don't think the author has ever heard teenagers talk to each other.
"We're going to be okay," she says through chattering teeth. "After what you did for me, I'm basically your bitch for life. I'll get you out of here even if I have to sleep with a bunch of sexy guys to do it. I know, I know. I'm a giver." ...has she ever heard of an STD?
Hate to break it to you, but nutrition is just another word for feces." Is it though? IS IT?! Not even an imbecile would think that.
:::Ten falls out of a plane::: I open my mouth to scream for help, but end up swallowing a mouthful of water. Water? We crashed into an ocean? Crazy thought: Now I can surf. Because of course the first thing anyone should think of when falling out of a plane INTO THE OCEAN is about all the fun things you can do in the water.
:::Ten dies but comes back to life::: And, oh no, no, no, did my bowels release? Because of course the FIRST thing you think when you come back to life is if you pooped your pants.
Honestly, I could go on and on and on. It's absolutely atrocious. I'd give this book ZERO! stars if Goodreads would let me.
Normally I'm a bit lenient when rating the first book in a series because I try to give the author the benefit of the doubt as long as they try to develop a good story and a well-thought out plot, but Showalter gave me ZERO! things to work with. Okay...I'm done.
But seriously, don't even waste your time.
Before I get into ALL THE THINGS wrong with this book, let me point out the positives.
1) The idea is pretty darn cool.
Essentially your life starts when you die. There are two realms in the Everlife battling for power: Myriad and Troika. Before dying, you have to sign your soul off to one of them. If you die unsigned, your soul will end up in Many Ends, a place you wouldn't wish on anyone.
I'm not going to give you a summary of the plot, but trust me when I say it sounds a lot cooler than it actually is.
-->The cover is gorgeous. But as you'll see shortly, I believe all the money went into the graphic design of this cover and ZERO! dollars went into hiring a bonafide editor.
Now for the cons...get comfy ladies and gentleman, you're in for a long ride.
WARNING: When a teen fantasy book starts off with,"Duuude. A heads-up would have been nice. Can you say whack shack?"...you know you're going to have a bad time.
1) The main character's name is Tenley "Ten" Lockwood and she's obsessed with numbers...:::insert eye roll here::: It's so cheesy it's not even original.
2) The author must have never heard the phrase "less is more" because there are exclamation points after EVERYTHING. You cannot read a single page without at least one. It makes everything sound so ridiculous! So over-the-top! And not to mention even more cheesy....:::more eye rolling...
3) The book is told from Ten's POV so we are constantly in her head and she's ALWAYS questioning herself. Let me tell you, you're going to see her questioning herself even more than you see exclamation points...you've been warned. It's the MOST aggravating thing EVER.
Imagine this: You walk into a room. In it sits a single chair. Should you sit? Should you stand? Or should you just walk on by? WHO CARES?! I wanted to punch her. This method of writing felt so formulaic that I could not stand it. I repeat: I. COULD. NOT. STAND. IT.
4) Instead of saying, "Gosh" or something to that effect, Ten constantly says "Zero!" (And yes, almost always with an exclamation point because of course, why not. I think this was the author's way of trying to make her quirky because no one says "Zero!" instead of "gosh" unless of course your name is a number...:::the eye rolls continue...
5) The love interest, Killian, is Irish and the author tries to remind us of that by making him say "lass" at the end of most sentences in addition to saying "dinnae" (Scottish term for "don't" according to Google) just in case we forgot that he isn't from around the area. It felt so forced though, I mean it's a 400+ book and he only says "dinnae" about 3 times. Is that the only Scottish slang the author knows so she felt she has to put it in to show her diversity? I just don't understand.
6) Ten also has no idea what friends are. She calls people she fights with and barely knows at all her best friends...what? No sweetheart, they are acquaintances at best. You have no friends because you're an idiot.
7) The plot. The idea had promise but the plot was horrifically done. Let's just say this book has more plot holes than Chicago has potholes (and if you've been to Chicago, you know that's saying something).
There are two major plot holes:
--Why are Myriad and Troika at war you may ask? Well that's a good questions because WE AREN'T TOLD.
--Ten won't sign with either...why? WE DON'T KNOW WHY. She just spends the entire book trying to avoid it, only to sign with one in the very last sentence.
So essentially we are given a story that we are supposed to care about it without being told why we are supposed to care. Or even what the motive is.
8) This is supposed to be a fantasy book. But the author talks about New York, Hawaii, LA..etc. and it just feels awkward. Apparently everything takes place in modern day (although we aren't given a year) but because of all the talk with the Everlife and Troika, Myriad, etc. it doesn't feel like it's part of the same story. The world-building effect feels incredibly disjointed like the author got lost in her own story.
9) THE WRITING. OH MY WORD. THE WRITING. I literally can't even explain how terrible it is so I'm just going to leave you with actual quotes and let you see for yourself.
[A guy asks:] "Have your cycles finally synced?" Oh, them be fightin' words. I yawn again, my jaw cracking. Okay fine. Them be fightin' words tomorrow. What? Who's inner dialogue actually thinks like that?
"...He's hot," Sloan syas in a stage whisper. Hoping he'll hear and respond? Then she gives up all pretense of timidity and makes grabby hands. "Yummy yum yum, give baby some sugar." There's only of Ten's stupid mental questions for you, not to mention Sloan's grabby hands...NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T DO THESE THINGS.
How do others choose? What seems like a great idea one moment can become a nightmare later on. I know this. I've seen pictures of my teenage mother's new perm-hello frizz. The author tries so hard to make the characters funny. They're not.
"Oh, thank goodness, I would rather smell like fart for all time than be in your debt for a single minute." What? How do those two things even relate to each other? That's the FIRST thing you think to write-smelling like fart for all time?
"...I need a moment of privacy." My bladder is demanding serious attention. ....Why should I care about her bladder?
"...in case your puny brain isn't hip to my hop." NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT. I don't think the author has ever heard teenagers talk to each other.
"We're going to be okay," she says through chattering teeth. "After what you did for me, I'm basically your bitch for life. I'll get you out of here even if I have to sleep with a bunch of sexy guys to do it. I know, I know. I'm a giver." ...has she ever heard of an STD?
Hate to break it to you, but nutrition is just another word for feces." Is it though? IS IT?! Not even an imbecile would think that.
:::Ten falls out of a plane::: I open my mouth to scream for help, but end up swallowing a mouthful of water. Water? We crashed into an ocean? Crazy thought: Now I can surf. Because of course the first thing anyone should think of when falling out of a plane INTO THE OCEAN is about all the fun things you can do in the water.
:::Ten dies but comes back to life::: And, oh no, no, no, did my bowels release? Because of course the FIRST thing you think when you come back to life is if you pooped your pants.
Honestly, I could go on and on and on. It's absolutely atrocious. I'd give this book ZERO! stars if Goodreads would let me.
Normally I'm a bit lenient when rating the first book in a series because I try to give the author the benefit of the doubt as long as they try to develop a good story and a well-thought out plot, but Showalter gave me ZERO! things to work with. Okay...I'm done.
But seriously, don't even waste your time.
Interesting. Not what I expected. It didn’t follow the narrative path I thought it would.
With this book based on the description and the little video Epic Reads has on their Facebook site, I imagined this story completely different.
But oh surprise! It was not what I was expecting, but it was a good book!
A great book, I didn't really feel a love triangle, and from like the moment Killian was introduced I knew he was going to be the guy so, it was no surprise to me when she chose the realm she chose!
Cannot wait for the next book!
But oh surprise! It was not what I was expecting, but it was a good book!
A great book, I didn't really feel a love triangle, and from like the moment Killian was introduced I knew he was going to be the guy so, it was no surprise to me when she chose the realm she chose!
Cannot wait for the next book!
Reviewed by Liz at North Heart Hub
Rating: 6/10 Hearts
Format: Audio-book - Library
Tenley is a teen who has an enormous decision on her shoulders. She has to decide which realm she will pledge her spirit to when she dies her first death. Her parents are both Myriad, and want her to pledge with them as well. There is another realm, Troika, who wants Ten to join them. If she dies before she pledges, she'll be sent to a hellscape called "Many Ends." Even so, she refuses to commit to Myriad. So, naturally that her parents have sent her to an asylum to be "convinced" into pledging to Myriad.
Okay, wait, WHAT.
I don't feel like torturing people into doing things makes much sense. Also, I feel like Ten's wish to have some time to think about literally the rest of her eternity is pretty fair. But then, it seems her dad really sucks.
Here's the deal about this YA book-- it is GRUESOME. This is one of the most visceral, violent books I've read in awhile-- and I read lots of dystopian fiction. Hands are severed, eyeballs dangle from sockets, torture abounds, and Ten dies literally three different times. Violence is really not my thing. I'm a total comic book nerd, and I still have hide my eyes sometimes when I watch Marvel movies.
I can't really decide if the violence was gratuitous? It was certainly too much for me, but I am a sensitive Hufflepuff vegan, so sometimes things that are too much for me are pretty normal to others.
Aside from the gore, I found myself sucked right into Ten's world. I want to send a resounding thank you to Showalter for NOT letting Archer and Killian and Ten be a love triangle. Look at Archer and Ten being opposite sex friends! It's so refreshing and I love it. Their friendship was one of the high points of this kind of difficult book.
This book was incredibly interesting and original, and it did a lot of things right. I can see how it's definitely the first in a series-- I think it would be more effective if I had plans to read the second one right away-- because very little actually happens in this book. Ten escapes her asylum, she spends a whole lot of time trying to avoid being killed, assisted by Archer and Killian, who have some way serious baggage. She dies a few times, and comes back each time, and the book ends with a loud confrontation at a public execution.
The TLDR of this book is "Ten spends several hundred pages pondering morality, the nature of permanency, and trying not to get killed. Except when she does it on purpose."
Firstlife is a fun and interesting ride, but it most likely won't win any awards. I'll likely pick up the next one if it crosses my path, but I won't make a point of it.
Subjective Hearts: ♥♥♥ 3/5
Objective Hearts: ♥♥♥ 3/5
Rating: 6/10 Hearts
Format: Audio-book - Library
Tenley is a teen who has an enormous decision on her shoulders. She has to decide which realm she will pledge her spirit to when she dies her first death. Her parents are both Myriad, and want her to pledge with them as well. There is another realm, Troika, who wants Ten to join them. If she dies before she pledges, she'll be sent to a hellscape called "Many Ends." Even so, she refuses to commit to Myriad. So, naturally that her parents have sent her to an asylum to be "convinced" into pledging to Myriad.
Okay, wait, WHAT.
I don't feel like torturing people into doing things makes much sense. Also, I feel like Ten's wish to have some time to think about literally the rest of her eternity is pretty fair. But then, it seems her dad really sucks.
Here's the deal about this YA book-- it is GRUESOME. This is one of the most visceral, violent books I've read in awhile-- and I read lots of dystopian fiction. Hands are severed, eyeballs dangle from sockets, torture abounds, and Ten dies literally three different times. Violence is really not my thing. I'm a total comic book nerd, and I still have hide my eyes sometimes when I watch Marvel movies.
I can't really decide if the violence was gratuitous? It was certainly too much for me, but I am a sensitive Hufflepuff vegan, so sometimes things that are too much for me are pretty normal to others.
Aside from the gore, I found myself sucked right into Ten's world. I want to send a resounding thank you to Showalter for NOT letting Archer and Killian and Ten be a love triangle. Look at Archer and Ten being opposite sex friends! It's so refreshing and I love it. Their friendship was one of the high points of this kind of difficult book.
This book was incredibly interesting and original, and it did a lot of things right. I can see how it's definitely the first in a series-- I think it would be more effective if I had plans to read the second one right away-- because very little actually happens in this book. Ten escapes her asylum, she spends a whole lot of time trying to avoid being killed, assisted by Archer and Killian, who have some way serious baggage. She dies a few times, and comes back each time, and the book ends with a loud confrontation at a public execution.
The TLDR of this book is "Ten spends several hundred pages pondering morality, the nature of permanency, and trying not to get killed. Except when she does it on purpose."
Firstlife is a fun and interesting ride, but it most likely won't win any awards. I'll likely pick up the next one if it crosses my path, but I won't make a point of it.
Subjective Hearts: ♥♥♥ 3/5
Objective Hearts: ♥♥♥ 3/5
“Remember, the truth hurts for a little while. Lies hurt forever.”
“What you know and feel matters, but what you do matters more.”
“Fear keeps you alive. Fear reminds you that you are alive.”
“What you know and feel matters, but what you do matters more.”
“Fear keeps you alive. Fear reminds you that you are alive.”
1.5 stars.
Entertaining and intriguing. It certainly has an interesting concept. I had a lot of issues with the writing but this was an easy read. I'll probably continue with the series.
Entertaining and intriguing. It certainly has an interesting concept. I had a lot of issues with the writing but this was an easy read. I'll probably continue with the series.