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3.33 AVERAGE
3.33 AVERAGE
I like neat and tidy endings, and I love the way Sookie's world shook out. She went through a heck of lot and deserves to be happy! I can't wait to read all the short stories and novelettes to find out even more about Sookie's world!
I am surprised that so many people wanted her to end up in a terrible relationship with a vampire. She would have no future that way and that is not who she is.
Nu när jag läst ut serien kanske jag ska börja kolla på True Blood?
Tillägg: Jag läste i nya reklamtidningen från SF-bokhandeln att det finns en bok till. After Dead: What Came Next in the World of Sookie Stackhouse som är en sorts uppslagsbok från A-Z med alla personer. Så är det något man vill veta så är det bara att slå upp den personen.
This is one of those books that I'm not even going to rate. I'm going to thank my lucky stars that this series is finally over. It has been limping along since Book 9 and I've been reading them even though my enjoyment has diminished more and more over each one. (Though I kept giving them good ratings so maybe I liked them more in the moment.) As I began to believe that Sookie wasn't going to end up with the character I would have chosen for her, I started rooting for her to pull a Kelly Taylor and "choose me". I know that this is Ms. Harris' story and so I won't bash her for not wanting the same things I did for Sookie. However, I do feel like she sold her readers a false bill of sale. She said she wouldn't put "essential" elements into her short stories after hearing complaints, but if that was supposed to be the building up of the relationship Sookie would choose, it's cheating. Deep down, I don't think that was the case. This book felt like something thrown together to finish a project that the author has lost interest in. In addition, there was far too much time spent on ancillary characters which I had been happy to see go long ago.
So I end my "friendship" with Sookie just as I would any other friend that I feel has made the wrong choices for her future and seeing what comes from it would be just too painful to be a part of.
Still, on to the adventures of cosmetic-obsessed rape-apologist Sookie and the men who adore and sexually harass her.
The novel opens with Harris failing at third-person narration just as spectacularly as she regularly fails with first, in a prologue which reaches new heights of unoriginality. Two men sell their souls to the devil (definite article, no capitalisation, for some reason) via signing a contract in blood using a quill pen, as standard. Despite one of the men being defined as a businessman, neither of the two bother to finalise the actual rewards of this transaction until after they’ve signed their souls away, which seems ill-thought-through. As it turns out none of this is especially relevant and the devil is merely making a cameo appearance in order to oblige Harris to attempt yet more awkward misalignment of Christian and pre-Christian mythologies. We are also set up with a new bête-noir for S in the shape of Amelia’s father, who now wants S dead for arbitrary reasons. Also a minor character is given HIV as an aside in order to punish him for consorting with the devil, although this isn’t the devil’s fault apparently. Not sure about the theology or morality of this.
Then we’re back to the main narrative, formed as usual from those few thoughts which slowly congeal in S’s curdled lump of a brain. She doesn’t manage to get further than the first paragraph before reminding us once more of Sam’s famous red-gold halo, or her own vanity. Sam, who has just risen from the dead due to S and her magical MacGuffin, annoys S by not remembering to wave to her as he drives away from her house. She therefore fakes sickness in order to avoid working at the business in which she is now a partner and stays home to eat a lot of tomatoes and cleans out some drawers. Even Harris is aware that this is boring, and so she abandons the style of all previous works in this series and switches suddenly to further third-person narrative. This damages any possible validity in the story so far whilst adding absolutely nothing of worth. Then it’s back to S and nothing happening. She’s blanked by a couple of her boyfriends, then spends the week mowing the lawn and drinking iced tea.
Eventually, rather than trying to sort out her relationship or check on the man she is responsible for reanimating, she goes clothes shopping, and is apparently made “profoundly happy” by buying a new dress, a process which seems interminable. We are also bombarded with details of babies, baby clothes and maternity wear, just in case we haven’t already guessed where the story is going, and a scene where Tara apologises to S for not being as perfect as her. S accepts this gracefully. After this Bill pops round for a visit, interrupting S ruminating on how difficult it is to fit round pieces of cardboard into a bin. He tries to save the readers 17 chapters of nothing by pointing out to S that she is clearly in love with Sam, but sadly she fails to grasp this. Instead she returns to Merlotte’s, which means page after page of minutiae connected to the running of a bar, plus brief mentions of Sam’s depression and the return of racist waitress Arlene. Her regular dull gossiping yields details of the many minor characters, all of whom are marrying and spawning, ideally in that order in order to avoid S’s disapproval. Even the town dogs are pairing up. Then it’s back home for S’s usual series of household chores, each explained to us in fascinating detail.
After the usual obligatory scene of a man breaking into S’s bedroom without any repercussions we reach the bluntly foreshadowed murder of Arlene, the latest person to die in or around the apparently cursed Merlotte’s. This barely effects S, who is always glad to see a woman die, thereby reducing her competition. She trots happily back to work behind the death scene, but is suddenly dragged to Fantasia at a moment’s notice and abruptly divorced from Eric, no explanations given or questions asked, which certainly shows the depth of their relationship. We are assured however that the fault doesn’t lie with S herself, who still drives every male she meets (Eric included) mad with lust. Naturally.
Crushed by her inevitable break-up with her boyfriend, a matter which she baldly states has affected her much more seriously than discovering the corpse of her old friend in a bin earlier in the day, S barely has time for her standard sulking before she is arrested for murder, although sadly not any of the ones she has actually committed. Since she is now literally locked away from any potential plot or action we are treated to nothing but her mundane meanderings about prison outfits and bunk beds for some time. Meanwhile we are informed that all the outstanding villains from previous books are also involved in the current plot against her, presumably because they are keen to wrap things up before the series ends.
Coincidentally S’s cellmate is a witness to the events surrounding Arlene’s murder and gives S some helpful clues. Then rich ex-sugardaddy Eric bails her out and she’s off home to do some chores and reminisce about her late grandmother, the much-mourned Christian paragon who, much to S’s regret, was never raped. Then it’s back to Merlotte’s once more, where Sam is still in the midst of the book-long sulk which he won’t explain to S until the closing chapters. S chats happily about bikini waxes with her vacuous gaolbird beauty pageant friend, whilst the reader slowly falls asleep.
Awoken by the force or S hammering home how to pronounce Mr.Cataliades for the 800th time, the reader now has to sit through S investigating the crime. This mainly involves her calling up everyone she knows to see if they know whodunit, whilst treating both the Bon Temps police force and her vampire associates like her own personal bodyguard service. This is interrupted when Bill pops round, ostensibly to re-introduce S to his writer friend but actually in order that he can try to take advantage of her new single status, like the gentleman he is. The writer is somewhat harshly judges by the ever-hypocritical S as being too into vampires, and responds by suggesting she is a serial killer. For a brief moment I hoped that the whole series was actually S’s cover story to disguise her real identity as a jealous lunatic who was been slaughtering all the woman she considers more attractive than herself for years….Kym, Arlene, Jannnalyn, both Pelt sisters etc. Only Tara has escaped since, as S loves to point out, she’s gotten a bit fat. But then I remembered that S is perfect and Harris is incredibly stupid, and sadly discounted this idea.
Meanwhile, nothing is happening other than S having a breakdown over a grey eyebrow hair, (hint, hint, bodyclock, breeding etc.) before several dull characters from previous books turn up as her houseguests and we’re treated to details of all their outfits, as usual. Then yet another character turns out to be pregnant. (I get it Charlaine, S wants to reproduce). Then matters hit a new low with the return of misogynistic meathead Quinn, for no particular reason other than it’s the last book and everyone has to pop up for 10 minutes. Incidentally, he also has a baby on the way. Then everyone goes shopping at Wal-Mart. Then Sam appears for two paragraphs, grimacing and forcing his words through clenched teeth like a man in the throes of a fit in order to remind us that he has a secret issue. Eventually S’s random group of current associates sit down and have the plot explained to them by Mr.C. The Devil crops up, briefly capitalised, is contrasted with a devil, loses his capital again, and then we switch from one to the other for a while in a convoluted description from the mouth of a part-demon, a creature apparently somehow different from a devil, the devil, The Devil and however many other variant Harris has yet to introduce. The confusion almost distracts from the basic lack of logic involved in new villain Copley Carmichael selling his soul in exchange for a magic wish-granting device when surely he could have cut out the middle step and simply sold his soul directly for whatever it is he actually intends to wish for? Although that wouldn’t have involved S even peripherally, and thus is inconceivable.
There’s more housework, cooking and baby-talk for some while, and S sits about reading a book whilst her friends attempt to solve her problems for her. Everyone eats dinner. Then everyone eats breakfast. Then Amelia, who had no idea she was pregnant until S told her so the previous day, suddenly has presumably psychosomatic morning sickness. Unless she just assumed vomiting every morning was normal? Then it’s babies and pancakes again. Still no plot. Sam still has a secret. Everyone is an idiot.
Eventually Sam orders S to return to work, just as he ordered her to stay home. She obeys because she has no concept of business partnerships or dignity. He reveals that a mysterious oath sworn to an unknown party forbids him from revealing his big secret to her and she responds by inviting him to dinner, since it’s been nearly 6 paragraphs since she’s had a chance to go on about her cooking. We also find out that the whole town is hoping that S will marry her cousin’s widower and become mother to her child, as this would be nice and neat; aside from the incestuous creepiness of this and the fact that S hardly knows the man, I thought she was supposed to be keeping her distance from her telepathic nephew in case of supernatural repercussions. So how does the whole town know about him? Then it’s back to endless meals and chores and bitching about lazy people who don’t bake all their own cakes. Also, S gets yet more thousands in cash from undeserved inheritances, including profits from the sale of a club which it is explicitly stated was stolen from its rightful owner by her cousin. Then a psychic turns up and tells us nothing we didn’t already know. Then S talks to her own breasts for a while. Then yet another character tries to shoot S and ends up shot instead, and S says “Shepherd of Judea” again. Then all the women help clean up the murder scene and bake for S, because women love cleaning and cooking.
Eventually Sam’s secret is revealed by Bill, as an act of petty revenge: Sam has promised Eric not to “court” S, and for some idiotic reason has actually decided to keep this promise and take his frustrations out on S by super-sulking. While this idiocy is revealed to us the much-hyped villain Carmichael is captured off-screen and stored in S’s house. She happily leaves him bound and gagged overnight in a small hole, because she is a real humanitarian. Then everyone realises that Barry the Bellboy has been AWOL for 12+ hours in the service of S and may be dead, and S takes some time to discuss laundry and arrange a night out line-dancing. Eventually she decides that whilst killing Carmichael would be bad for her soul handing him over to sadistic vampires to be permanently disposed of is probably fine. Two sadistic vampires are passing through the narrative at the point by random chance, so this works out nicely. Then S sunbathes again, and suddenly realises that she is overcome with sexual longing for Sam. They are therefore in love and will live happily ever after, although sadly Barry spoils this a bit by still being all missing-and-presumed-dead. Not that S lets this ruin her dating plans.
Just as S is enjoying line-dancing to Cotton-Eye-Joe she is suddenly kidnapped by the remaining 3 villains, in the presence of a shifter, a were-panther and a whole bar of people who do nothing to help her. It turns out her gay cousin Claude has spent the entire book trying to kill her because he’s annoyed that she wouldn’t shag him, since trying to sleep with S is every character’s prime motivation throughout this series. Luckily the kidnap attempt is derailed almost immediately by some random and highly unpleasant gay sex magic and S is free. Then a lynch-mob kills all the kidnappers, although we are told as an aside that one of them lived just long enough to confess to Arlene’s murder. Which wraps everything up nicely without the need to involve the relevant authorities. All the actual plot details are rushed through in two pages, all remaining characters are paired off, and S renders every single event of the entire series pointless by deciding to settle down in the house she already lived in with the man who has been in love with her since the first page of book 1. Oh, and Barry wasn’t dead after all.
Least Awareness of Own Limitations Shown by Author
Harris:
“It feels almost incredible to remember that …my agent … had a hard time finding a home for S”
No, it really doesn’t.
Biggest Surprise
The revelation that Harris has a continuity editor.
Oddest Expression
“He left without a word. Not “See you later,” “Thanks a lot,” or “Kiss my foot.””
Is this an actual expression, or is S just too mealy-mouthed to say “kiss my ass? This whole sentence occurs almost word-for-word a few chapters later, so it must mean summat to Harris, if not me.
Most Unnecessarily Bitchy Assessment of a “Friends-Since Childhood Buddy”
“She was lovely as always, yet I couldn’t help but notice she’d let her eyebrows stray all over. Motherhood could sure wreak havoc on a woman’s grooming.”
Just after this S openly admits that Tara’s conversation re: her concern for S is “mostly a muted blahblahblah” to her.
Most Random Unexplained Effect of Were/Shifter-Nature
“You know how hard it is for two-natured girls, when they start changing? Harder than it is for the boys. One in twenty of us ends up a permanent psycho bitch.”
I can only interpret this as unfounded sexism. Also, every single female were/Shifter featured so far in the books has been a “permanent psycho bitch”, so it seems like either the maths or S’s luck is a little off.
Most Unlikely Death Theory
Bill’s family, who put up a headstone for him even though:
“They’d known Bill’s body wasn’t there (they thought he’d been eaten by a panther)”
Seriously? What exactly led to that assumption? Was this panther supposed to have totally consumed every trace of his corpse? If so, what would possibly lead them to the idea of a panther in the first place? How exactly does this make sense?
Most Pathetically Proud Statement
“I cast the chest of drawers a proud glance when I went in the bedroom. I knew everything in it was organized.”
Most Misplaced Loyalty
“I wasn’t going to let sheer loneliness drive me back to my ex. I reminded myself I was still Eric Northman’s wife under vampire custom.”
If you’re tricked into a marriage and make no promises then surely it counts for slightly less than usual? An odd attitude for someone so obsessed with her freedom as a US citizen.
Most Unbelievable Sentence
“I’d never met a vampire who didn’t love “Thriller.””
Oddest Promunciation of “Miss Stackhouse”
Felipe de Castro’s: “Meees Stekhuss”
Is that an accent issue or a speech impediment?
Narrowest World View
S to Eric:
“I Never regarded our marriage as equal to a human church marriage!”
Presumably a human registry office marriage, or a human synagogue or mosque or temple marriage for that matter, falls in importance somewhere between a proper Christian marriage and a non-consensual vampire trick in terms of the respect S accords it.
Most Terrifying Example of S’s Deluded Self-Pitying Narcissism
After being in a gaol cell for one night:
“I had a moment of thinking of our Lord being dragged through the streets and pelted with offal and then having his court hearing in a public place. Then being crucified. Well, not that I was comparing myself to Jesus … but … We had something in common, Jesus and me!”
Genuinely unbelievable. Also, as a side note to the horror, Jesus might be your Lord S but he ain’t mine, you presumptuous, deluded cow.
Most Profound Statement
”I put on makeup, because I needed to feel attractive”
Most Unlikely Statement
“I could hardly be holier-than-thou”
S certainly doesn’t know herself very well.
Most Unnecessarily Unpleasant Detail
“I had that icky sensation of sweat trickling down between my butt cheeks.
Cheers for letting me know about that S.
Most Unknowingly Self-Parodic Statement
“ “I’d rather have a gun than magic any day, but maybe that was just American of me.”
Most Charming Display of Brotherly High-Expectations
Quinn on his sister
“I thought I’d lost her forever when she ran off. I thought she’d take drugs and whore around.”
Least Supportive Gesture from a Love Interest
S:“I did kind of wonder why you didn’t come to the court hearing?”
Sam: “You think I want to see you in handcuffs, robbed of your dignity?”
I think standing by someone you love when they’re up in court is supposed to be more about their feelings rather than yours, Sam.
Best Example of Bon Temps’ Warmth and Neighbourly Community Spirit
“People weren’t worried much about Arlene’s death. Her trial had taken her reputation away from her.”
Most Badly Written Sex Scene
“I couldn’t say another word, though I was thinking plenty of them, one syllable words like good please again dick long hard. My bikini bra was history, and he was so happy with my breasts...he rolled on a condom and plunged in. ”
There’s nothing to say about this.
Most In-Depth Psychological Reason for Villainy
“Actually, I just like to hurt women.”
So S returns to the world of two-dimensional nonentities from which she came, and the story is over, barring the cash-in book in which we’ll doubtless discover the names of everyone’s babies, and what food S served at the Stackhouse-Merlotte wedding. At which point hopefully Harris will have run out of pointless details to add to this overlong tale full of bad sex and rabid prejudice, told by a narrow-minded idiot, signifying nothing.
Ever So Spoilery...
This was so oddly written. The voice didn't sound like Sookie at all, but a person going through the motions, alternating between teenager sullenness and elderly worn out apathy.
Harris' choice to alternate between 1st person Sookie and 3rd person all-the-many-villains was pure laziness. In the past, there had always been a certain amount of cleverness to how the plot had to play out due to it all being 1st person. In Dead Ever After, Harris decided to just spell it out for us, as if she couldn't care enough to make the effort.
The plot was a jumbled mess. Characters came and went for no particular reason, casseroles were made and delivered, villains ganged together. Where previous books could nearly stand on their own, this tangled web was hard to follow, what with dragging in characters from all over the Sookie timeline and mashing them together without much explanation--- and definitely no plausible explanation.
Harris steadily went about trashing one beloved character after another. No one could be redeemed, all that was once cherished was suddenly meaningless and dropped like used tissues to roll ploddingly towards its doom for the sake of just ending it already.
I don't care who Sookie ended up with. A couple of books of heartbreak and angst and realizations and what not and Sam could have been her soul mate. Instead, he's a shadow of a character whom she has creepy creepy CREEPY dirty trailer park sex with. Seriously, it would've been less creepy for her to end up with Dermot, the visual twin of her brother. Well, maybe not...
I keep going back to the beginning. When Bill was the love of her life and then vampire politics made him a villain and things went to hell. Or when Eric forgot his centuries as a vampire and we got a glimpse of what he would be as a human.
A magic get out of jail free card and Harris doesn't use it to return even one vampire to their humanity? And when it is used, it turns Sam into a beaten dog despondent over having been momentarily dead?
Any way she turned the story, it could've been beautifully done. Hell, with her former effort and passion for writing, Harris could've made Claude the fricking hero. It would've been weird, but...
Or, she could've just killed Sookie. That could've been pretty spectacular. Sookie could've gone down in a blaze of glory or a martyr for everyone she loved.
It wasn't what happened, it was that it happened badly. This was a horribly written book, not at all in line with the established story.
It was wholly disappointing, even though, secretly, I kind of always loved the idea of steady, affable Sam being the last man standing. Now it just makes my skin crawl.
Shame on you, Harris, for foisting this mockery of a book on your loyal fans. I'm going to pretend this never happened. Actually, I may pretend Dead Reckoning and Deadlocked never happened as well.
This one actually had a conclusion that Sookie herself called convoluted. This one had plenty of things happening that should have felt emotional, but they just felt dead. (queue title pun) The last paragraph was pretty good and saved it from going into romance fiction hell's seventh circle. So extra star for that.
Something tragic has happened. I’ve turned the last page of the final Sookie Stackhouse novel. I knew the day would come, but there’s just no preparing for something like this. It’s the end of an era and I feel empty inside. How to explain this to someone who hasn’t fallen for Sookie?
The Sookie Stackhouse series isn’t crammed with action as many other vampire/YA books out there. It’s actually quite mundane. We follow Sookie in her everyday life; she cleans her house, does some gardening, prepares meals, gets dressed, does her hair and make up, and goes to Merlotte’s where she works as a waitress. And then she reads minds and dates vampires.
Sookie’s one of my favorite female characters. She’s a very untraditional heroine. You know how fictional heroines are often sooo beyond superficial stuff like appearances because they’ve got better things to think about? Well, Sookie’s vain, wears makeup, loves to sunbathe and chooses her outfits carefully. And she’s still cool. I find that refreshing.
Her being a telepath with a weakness for vampires sets the action of the books. I love the vampires in Sookie’s world. They aren’t dark and gloomy as e.g. Anne Rice’s vampires. They’re part of society, and it’s fun seeing the various interactions between humans and vampires. This is a very creative and unique world Charlaine Harris created – made even more creative in HBOs True Blood series, which I adore. BTW: Don’t expect the books to be anything like the TV series!
The Sookie Stackhouse books have been part of my reading agenda for the past three years or so. I’ve read about four Sookie-books a year, and they’ve been the perfect in-between-reads. I could always feel a certain longing for a Sookie-book when it had been a while. I don’t know what I’ll do now that I’ve turned the last Sookie-page. *sigh*
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