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4.03 AVERAGE
4.03 AVERAGE
dark
emotional
informative
tense
medium-paced
This is a memoir about post partum psychosis in a similar vein to Brain on Fire. It was scary but informative on a subject I knew next to nothing about.
I would say it dragged on a bit longer than it needed to. The ten myth busting facts at the end kind of felt like she was scrambling to get to an even ten. I would also say the book was a tad repetitive, but the subject matter that was being repeated was definitely important.
This was hard to read because from the reader’s standpoint, you felt the frustration and wanted to scream at doctors and even occasionally family members who said completely the wrong thing or misdiagnosed her.
Overall, this was an interesting read that I learned a lot from.
I would say it dragged on a bit longer than it needed to. The ten myth busting facts at the end kind of felt like she was scrambling to get to an even ten. I would also say the book was a tad repetitive, but the subject matter that was being repeated was definitely important.
This was hard to read because from the reader’s standpoint, you felt the frustration and wanted to scream at doctors and even occasionally family members who said completely the wrong thing or misdiagnosed her.
Overall, this was an interesting read that I learned a lot from.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicidal thoughts, Forced institutionalization, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Pregnancy
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
sad
tense
slow-paced
dark
emotional
informative
fast-paced
Become a mother is often framed as one of the most amazing experiences in life, and for many people it is, but for the significant number of people who experience perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, it can be overwhelming and terrifying. In A Mom Like That, Aaisha Alvi writes about her slide from postpartum depression to postpartum psychosis after her first child was born and again after a second pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage. I could not put it down. One of the most shocking things she describes was how she knew something was really wrong, that she and her daughter were not safe, and sought help from her doctors, including OBs and mental health professionals, and her alarming symptoms were minimized or normalized again and again. She and her family were crying out for help and by the time things reached a very dangerous level, she had normalized sone of them to herself so she wasn’t able to answer screening questions in a way that would trigger the more appropriate diagnosis. There are less than a handful of books from the perspective of a mother who recovered from postpartum psychosis. Sadly we more often read about the aftermath of tragic infanticide/ suicides and wonder what happened. Halfway through reading this, I went to my library website, and seeing that it was not in their catalog, submitted a request for them to consider purchasing it for the library. It is so important, especially in bringing awareness to postpartum mood and anxiety disorders in non-white women. I highly recommend reading it and recording it to libraries.
““Don’t look at me like that, okay,” I said, anger rising in me. Why was she taunting me like this, acting like she was a baby, when we both knew she wasn’t? “Just tell me what you want, you idiot!” I screamed into her face, restraining the intense urge to give her a shake and force her to tell me. Lina’s bottom lip began to tremble and slowly push forward. She closed her eyes and wailed with intense sadness. I looked at her and felt wicked.”
““But what about Aaisha, doc?” Adam piped in, taking Lina from Dr. Menko. “Yes, you,” she said, nodding sympathetically. Patting me on the knee, she looked me in the eyes. “Motherhood is hard, isn’t it?” I looked down, biting my bottom lip. It was beyond hard, I thought. It felt like torture. “It’ll get better. I promise,” she said, getting to her feet. I doubted it.”
““I have blamed myself unnecessarily when things went wrong,” she said, reading off the paper. “No, never,” I said. I had no time to blame myself. “I have been anxious or worried for no good reason,” she said, looking up. “No, never.” I had an excellent reason for being anxious and worried. “Wait.” I couldn’t help but interrupt. “You’re going to send me home and tell me I’m fine and handling things well, aren’t you? Listen, I don’t need you to ask me all these questions. The fact is that I’m sick, and I need medication.” I felt terror rising up inside of me at the thought of being sent home, empty-handed. “I’ve got these scary intrusive thoughts, and I keep seeing these violent images involving my daughter, and I want them to stop!” I said, getting to my feet. Dr. Robyn nodded her head. “That’s all a part of being depressed. As long as you don’t feel like stabbing your daughter to death with a knife, it’s depression.” Stab Lina! Stab Lina! Stab Lina! The thoughts screamed gleefully, overjoyed at being tossed a bone.”
“The grim reality is that racialized women, who already experience higher rates of postpartum mood disorders, are more likely than their white counterparts to be misdiagnosed. At least one study found that Indian women like me, with postpartum mood disorders, were more likely to be misdiagnosed than diagnosed properly.1 This can have devastating implications.”
“What would help every woman with a postpartum mood disorder is having a provider who takes the time to really listen and understand what is going on, even if it takes more than fifteen minutes.”
“Postpartum psychosis occurs in one to two out of every one thousand deliveries, Down syndrome occurs in one in seven hundred live births, and cerebral palsy occurs in two to three out of one thousand live births. Given that postpartum psychosis can also occur after pregnancy loss or miscarriage, its incidence is not that unusual. Nobody would suggest that people need not know about Down syndrome because it is “relatively rare.” In fact, most women who give birth after thirty are told of its very real possibility and given the option to be tested for it. Why? Because knowledge is power, and it enables women to be better prepared in the event such a circumstance finds its way into their lives.”
“I wanted to give voice to women who have gone through this frightening experience and not made it out. Another was to humanize those who have committed tragic acts of violence as a result of this illness. I also wanted to show the devastating consequences that ignorance about postpartum psychosis among healthcare providers can have on those struggling.”
Thank you to Dundurn Press for providing this book for review consideration to NetGalley.
““Don’t look at me like that, okay,” I said, anger rising in me. Why was she taunting me like this, acting like she was a baby, when we both knew she wasn’t? “Just tell me what you want, you idiot!” I screamed into her face, restraining the intense urge to give her a shake and force her to tell me. Lina’s bottom lip began to tremble and slowly push forward. She closed her eyes and wailed with intense sadness. I looked at her and felt wicked.”
““But what about Aaisha, doc?” Adam piped in, taking Lina from Dr. Menko. “Yes, you,” she said, nodding sympathetically. Patting me on the knee, she looked me in the eyes. “Motherhood is hard, isn’t it?” I looked down, biting my bottom lip. It was beyond hard, I thought. It felt like torture. “It’ll get better. I promise,” she said, getting to her feet. I doubted it.”
““I have blamed myself unnecessarily when things went wrong,” she said, reading off the paper. “No, never,” I said. I had no time to blame myself. “I have been anxious or worried for no good reason,” she said, looking up. “No, never.” I had an excellent reason for being anxious and worried. “Wait.” I couldn’t help but interrupt. “You’re going to send me home and tell me I’m fine and handling things well, aren’t you? Listen, I don’t need you to ask me all these questions. The fact is that I’m sick, and I need medication.” I felt terror rising up inside of me at the thought of being sent home, empty-handed. “I’ve got these scary intrusive thoughts, and I keep seeing these violent images involving my daughter, and I want them to stop!” I said, getting to my feet. Dr. Robyn nodded her head. “That’s all a part of being depressed. As long as you don’t feel like stabbing your daughter to death with a knife, it’s depression.” Stab Lina! Stab Lina! Stab Lina! The thoughts screamed gleefully, overjoyed at being tossed a bone.”
“The grim reality is that racialized women, who already experience higher rates of postpartum mood disorders, are more likely than their white counterparts to be misdiagnosed. At least one study found that Indian women like me, with postpartum mood disorders, were more likely to be misdiagnosed than diagnosed properly.1 This can have devastating implications.”
“What would help every woman with a postpartum mood disorder is having a provider who takes the time to really listen and understand what is going on, even if it takes more than fifteen minutes.”
“Postpartum psychosis occurs in one to two out of every one thousand deliveries, Down syndrome occurs in one in seven hundred live births, and cerebral palsy occurs in two to three out of one thousand live births. Given that postpartum psychosis can also occur after pregnancy loss or miscarriage, its incidence is not that unusual. Nobody would suggest that people need not know about Down syndrome because it is “relatively rare.” In fact, most women who give birth after thirty are told of its very real possibility and given the option to be tested for it. Why? Because knowledge is power, and it enables women to be better prepared in the event such a circumstance finds its way into their lives.”
“I wanted to give voice to women who have gone through this frightening experience and not made it out. Another was to humanize those who have committed tragic acts of violence as a result of this illness. I also wanted to show the devastating consequences that ignorance about postpartum psychosis among healthcare providers can have on those struggling.”
Thank you to Dundurn Press for providing this book for review consideration to NetGalley.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Schizophrenia/Psychosis
Moderate: Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Pregnancy, Injury/Injury detail
emotional
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicidal thoughts, Medical content, Grief, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Pregnancy