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ramseyhootman's review against another edition
4.0
First things first: this is not a book about perfect people. I like that. A lot. Reading a lot of the negative reviews, the majority object to the fact that Tia, Juliette, and Caroline all do stupid things and have wrong attitudes. Well... guess what real people are like?! If you're reading to find a best friend or a Mary Sue, this is not the book you want. I spent a lot of time yelling at these characters in my head - the same way you'd do if one of your girlfriends made a phenomenally stupid decision, which of course never EVER happens, right? Riiiight???
Second thing: This book is about two very uncomfortable topics-- infidelity and adoption. I'm going to confess here that I actively avoid books about affairs, because it's a topic that makes me uneasy. But this was really well done, and while I didn't condone Tia and Juliette's choices much of the time, I really understood and empathized with them. I found Juliette's arc to be particularly true to life, and as a mom of two boys myself I could see myself doing exactly the same things in her position.
It's probably weird to list "adoption" as an uncomfortable topic, but in this book it's accurate. We see adoption from every side here: birth mom, adoptive mom, and outsider. And we see everyone's doubts and misconceptions in full relief. Adoption is something I know a great deal about, so, again, I was often shouting at the characters in my head, telling them how very wrong they were. However, Meyers deserves major credit for facing a lot of these ideas and feelings head-on, without judgement, and allowing her characters to work through them to the truth on their own. And they did, eventually! I think most of this part of the narrative is written for "outsiders" - people who don't have direct experience with an adoption experience. It's a very realistic look at the issues that can and do come up, if we're honest with ourselves. Caroline's insecurities especially were really difficult to read, but also very true to life. Sometimes as parents we spend so much time beating ourselves up for what we're not that we lose sight of the things we are.
All in all, this was a difficult but really good read.
Second thing: This book is about two very uncomfortable topics-- infidelity and adoption. I'm going to confess here that I actively avoid books about affairs, because it's a topic that makes me uneasy. But this was really well done, and while I didn't condone Tia and Juliette's choices much of the time, I really understood and empathized with them. I found Juliette's arc to be particularly true to life, and as a mom of two boys myself I could see myself doing exactly the same things in her position.
It's probably weird to list "adoption" as an uncomfortable topic, but in this book it's accurate. We see adoption from every side here: birth mom, adoptive mom, and outsider. And we see everyone's doubts and misconceptions in full relief. Adoption is something I know a great deal about, so, again, I was often shouting at the characters in my head, telling them how very wrong they were. However, Meyers deserves major credit for facing a lot of these ideas and feelings head-on, without judgement, and allowing her characters to work through them to the truth on their own. And they did, eventually! I think most of this part of the narrative is written for "outsiders" - people who don't have direct experience with an adoption experience. It's a very realistic look at the issues that can and do come up, if we're honest with ourselves. Caroline's insecurities especially were really difficult to read, but also very true to life. Sometimes as parents we spend so much time beating ourselves up for what we're not that we lose sight of the things we are.
All in all, this was a difficult but really good read.
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