You need to sign in or sign up before continuing.
Take a photo of a barcode or cover
3.92 AVERAGE
3.92 AVERAGE
Interesting read. Enjoyed learning from a man's perspective
I really enjoy all of his books. The way in which he explains a concept and breaks it down to digestible chunks of information makes reading subjects like this one easy and interesting.
I really enjoy all of his books. The way in which he explains a concept and breaks it down to digestible chunks of information makes reading subjects like this one easy and interesting.
informative
inspiring
slow-paced
Sex ed for couples or men who are ready to make their woman's pleasure their top priority! Ian is a smart, funny writer and I can't recommend this enough for people who are ready to heal and heat up their sex life.
The author's enthusiasm for vagina is admirable, and 200+ pages on the importance of cunninglingus may just be scratching the surface. It's said that most men know more about what's under the hood of a car than under the hood of the clitoris... making this metaphor-heavy book, in my opinion, required reading.
Наръчник по орален секс, който може да се събере в 20 страници, но е 200.
Сериозно, първата половина от книгата можете да я отпорите и изхвърлите, защото се състои главно от отчаяните опити на автора да ни убеди, че няма такива неща като г-точка, а-точка и т.н. ами всичко е клитор с вътрешни и външни разклонения, обхванал (поне с такова впечатление оставам от описанието) женската сексуална анатомия като октопод с пипала, плъзнали навсякъде.
Втората част е практическа и в нея има разумни съвети, които обаче са разводнени от изключително дразнещите (за мен) отклонения на автора в опитите му да се прави на интересен и да вкарва метафори във всичко. Движенията на езика били като римите на Шекспир, половин странично описание на Мохамед Али защото според автора то има голяма и силна връзка с позицията на главата ти при орален секс и т.н. Пише, че авторът е доктор (PhD) и по стила му подозирам че е доктор по литература.
А да, също така според него не само няма г-точка ами и жеската еякулация не съществува и "излизала малко количество течност понякога". Да ти пратя снимки на мокри чаршафи баце...
Сериозно, първата половина от книгата можете да я отпорите и изхвърлите, защото се състои главно от отчаяните опити на автора да ни убеди, че няма такива неща като г-точка, а-точка и т.н. ами всичко е клитор с вътрешни и външни разклонения, обхванал (поне с такова впечатление оставам от описанието) женската сексуална анатомия като октопод с пипала, плъзнали навсякъде.
Втората част е практическа и в нея има разумни съвети, които обаче са разводнени от изключително дразнещите (за мен) отклонения на автора в опитите му да се прави на интересен и да вкарва метафори във всичко. Движенията на езика били като римите на Шекспир, половин странично описание на Мохамед Али защото според автора то има голяма и силна връзка с позицията на главата ти при орален секс и т.н. Пише, че авторът е доктор (PhD) и по стила му подозирам че е доктор по литература.
А да, също така според него не само няма г-точка ами и жеската еякулация не съществува и "излизала малко количество течност понякога". Да ти пратя снимки на мокри чаршафи баце...
funny
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
fast-paced
She Comes First by sex therapist Ian Kerner came highly recommended by a hetero male friend who said that it had changed his sex life and understanding of women's orgasms. He had recommended it to other male (hetero) friends and they told him it had kind of blown their minds. So of course I picked it up and devoured it in a week.
The chapters are short, anywhere from 2-3 pages long, and the writing is clear and confident and compelling. So much of it was stuff I learned the hard way (for eg, that most women take 15-20 minutes to get to a good place whereas most men can get there in 2 or less). I loved that Dr. Kerner reframes this gap: "few if any of the world's problems can be solved with a mere twenty minutes of attention." And lest you wonder if this is really a problem, consider that less than a third of women always have orgasms during intercourse, but among women whose partners spent 21 minutes or longer on foreplay, only 7.7% failed to reach orgasm consistently. That's going from 2/3 women NOT climaxing to 9/10 climaxing. Pretty epic if you ask me.
I also loved the reframing of oral sex and women's pleasure as "coreplay" instead of "foreplay." As a woman, centering women's pleasure is of course going to be in my wheelhouse, but it's statistically proven (in many domains, not just sexual) that getting yourself taken care of is the key to taking care of others. A totally joyful eager quid pro quo, as it were.
The first part of the book covers female biology (this was actually eye opening to me, despite having read quite a bit about the clitoris) and the various stages of getting off. Did you know the clitoris has 18 parts? And that the G-spot is really a clitoral cluster which can be manipulated from both the outside and the inside? Also the clit has 8000 nerves endings (twice that of the penis) and most are concentrated on the surface and don't require any penetration at all. It's kind of an ironic and sad joke that the penis is such a lauded part of sex culture when women don't really need it to have mind blowing multiple orgasms.
The second part of the book goes through a nitty gritty set of routines one can follow to give the best most consistently successful head (hot). One of the repeated lessons was that successful cunnilingus involves consistent rhythm and varying levels of pressure. The former (rhythm) is often the most frustrating part of being with a man, I think because when men like something, they just want that thing faster and harder, and so they extrapolate that reasoning for women and it just doesn't work. The emphasis on pressure was also enlightening: light in some areas, hard in others, using your upper gum or lip, using fingers and thumbs, and so on.
The cover of She Comes First has a super ripe papaya on it, cut in half and looking insanely sexual. So maybe read it on your phone or ereader if you don't want double takes, although I want everyone interested in women's pleasure to read it and know that everyone's reading it. The jacket says more than 300,000 copies have been sold. I think that's not nearly enough. We need millions and millions more men (and women) to read and practice and play, if we're going to get the 2/3 of women who aren't getting off to come. Men - get on it.
The chapters are short, anywhere from 2-3 pages long, and the writing is clear and confident and compelling. So much of it was stuff I learned the hard way (for eg, that most women take 15-20 minutes to get to a good place whereas most men can get there in 2 or less). I loved that Dr. Kerner reframes this gap: "few if any of the world's problems can be solved with a mere twenty minutes of attention." And lest you wonder if this is really a problem, consider that less than a third of women always have orgasms during intercourse, but among women whose partners spent 21 minutes or longer on foreplay, only 7.7% failed to reach orgasm consistently. That's going from 2/3 women NOT climaxing to 9/10 climaxing. Pretty epic if you ask me.
I also loved the reframing of oral sex and women's pleasure as "coreplay" instead of "foreplay." As a woman, centering women's pleasure is of course going to be in my wheelhouse, but it's statistically proven (in many domains, not just sexual) that getting yourself taken care of is the key to taking care of others. A totally joyful eager quid pro quo, as it were.
The first part of the book covers female biology (this was actually eye opening to me, despite having read quite a bit about the clitoris) and the various stages of getting off. Did you know the clitoris has 18 parts? And that the G-spot is really a clitoral cluster which can be manipulated from both the outside and the inside? Also the clit has 8000 nerves endings (twice that of the penis) and most are concentrated on the surface and don't require any penetration at all. It's kind of an ironic and sad joke that the penis is such a lauded part of sex culture when women don't really need it to have mind blowing multiple orgasms.
The second part of the book goes through a nitty gritty set of routines one can follow to give the best most consistently successful head (hot). One of the repeated lessons was that successful cunnilingus involves consistent rhythm and varying levels of pressure. The former (rhythm) is often the most frustrating part of being with a man, I think because when men like something, they just want that thing faster and harder, and so they extrapolate that reasoning for women and it just doesn't work. The emphasis on pressure was also enlightening: light in some areas, hard in others, using your upper gum or lip, using fingers and thumbs, and so on.
The cover of She Comes First has a super ripe papaya on it, cut in half and looking insanely sexual. So maybe read it on your phone or ereader if you don't want double takes, although I want everyone interested in women's pleasure to read it and know that everyone's reading it. The jacket says more than 300,000 copies have been sold. I think that's not nearly enough. We need millions and millions more men (and women) to read and practice and play, if we're going to get the 2/3 of women who aren't getting off to come. Men - get on it.
A book EVERYONE must read. This book, whilst informative regarding sexual pleasure of cis-gendered women, it draws focus to the stereotypes regarding heterosexual relationships.
It clearly, without vulgarity, explains the how and the why of cis-women's sexual pleasure
It clearly, without vulgarity, explains the how and the why of cis-women's sexual pleasure
This was such a good book. I got halfway before it was due at the library but I would love to get again or purchase. Such a great resource and explanation of how things work down there. Highly recommend for both partners.
3.5 stars. I'm not really the target audience for this book, but read it since my sex therapist colleague has recommended it in the past. I think this book is definitely worth reading and provides some really great information for individuals who are looking for help or guidance when it comes to pleasuring their female partner. My biggest complaint with this book is that while it did give some great information, the information presented felt very narrow and didn't leave a lot of room for preference. Much of this book felt like a step-by-step instruction guide. I also didn't love the author's tone throughout much of the book.