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3.91 AVERAGE
3.91 AVERAGE
informative
medium-paced
It has a few fresh ideas, but nothing groundbreaking.
informative
medium-paced
Read this by recommendation— if you’re looking for a technical guide, it has some good information (anatomy especially). That said, it was written in 2004. It emphasizes the need for trust in a relationship, but there’s zero mention of consent or how to have a conversation about what someone enjoys/doesn’t enjoy (which is wicked important to everything else that’s talked about). If you read this, seek out that information separately! It will not tell you.
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
informative
medium-paced
informative
lighthearted
medium-paced
A straight forward guide that was clearly written for men (which is totally fine)
I'm definitely not the demographic for this book but thought I'd read this and it's companion book to learn something new.
I'm definitely not the demographic for this book but thought I'd read this and it's companion book to learn something new.
Alright, so… I was looking for [b:She Came to Slay: The Life and Times of Harriet Tubman|51788120|She Came to Slay The Life and Times of Harriet Tubman|Erica Armstrong Dunbar|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1570968738l/51788120._SX50_SY75_.jpg|71697594], but instead this book popped up. When I got over my amusement over the situation, I realised that the title seems familiar to me. And then it all clicked. This is the book that in [b:The Bride Test|39338454|The Bride Test (The Kiss Quotient, #2)|Helen Hoang|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1548428073l/39338454._SY75_.jpg|60976615] gave Quan to Khai after That scene, for some strange reason that really made me to want to read this. Am I trying to apologize for reading a sex manual? Yes, probably. I was definitely a little uncomfortable for reading it at first (thanks, society!). But I really clicked with the author’s sense of humour. It’s extremely nerdy and I am game for that (he quotes classical authors all the time both in intended and absolutely unintended context). I also already knew quite a few things from the first theoretical part from [b:Fruit Of Knowledge: The Vulva vs. The Patriarchy|36321848|Fruit Of Knowledge The Vulva vs. The Patriarchy|Liv Strömquist|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1527702324l/36321848._SX50_.jpg|42699187], so this was nice addition to that and the look from a little different angle. I can’t really judge the practical side of things (you know lock down and stuff), but I kind of enjoyed reading this – even though I am not the targeted audience, heterosexual men (from which I am neither). It was sensitively written and in quite a few places I was convinced that the author had to be woman in his previous life… Even from just theoretical studious point, I’m glad I read this…
"That's a shift of tectonic proportions - from two out of three women not being able to reach climax to nine out of ten archieving satisfaction - all because of a matter of minutes.
Few, if any, of the world's problems can be solved with a mere twenty minutes of attention, and yet here, in the complex sociopolitical landscape of the bedroom, we have an opportunity to create bilateral satisfaction."
informative
fast-paced
Amazingly boring given the subject matter. The author is really into Strunk and White and explains everything in terms of The Elements of Style. Although this did have a good payoff with the quote "Be clear. Be wild of tongue in a way we can understand!", so I guess I can't complain.
I can't remember why I picked this up. I think I was searching for Sex at Dawn on the library app and was drawn in by the funny cover.
The core insight from this book was that cunnilingus is probably the most important part of a woman's sexual experience. The anatomy of female genitalia seems to be such that penetration doesn't reliably lead to orgasm, manual stimulation is ok, but oral sex is really the best approach. Kerner basically succeeded at convincing me on this point.
Notes:
* Kerner refers to his wife as his Stradivarius, which is either super cringey or hilarious.
* There seem to be three clusters of people in sexual attitude space: traditionalists, relationalists, recreationalists.
* Women have the same number of nerve endings spread over a smaller surface area, and also have thinner and less hairy skin, making it more sensitive than men's.
* Avoid flossing and brushing before sex as this can lead to cuts. Instead use a mouthwash.
* Kerner recommends the following to put your lady at ease while going down on her:
* Getting comfortable with your partner masturbating around one another is useful.
* Kerner divides sex into foreplay, coreplay, and moreplay. Moreplay is cuddling and stuff afterwards. Kerner warns not to neglect this; because men have a rapid refactory period after orgasm in which they lose interest and go to sleep, but women take a while to cool down. This post-coital period can have a lot of bonding significance for women, so this is a key place to score relationship points.
* When cunnilinging try horizontal and vertical strokes of the tongue.
* Apparently this is a good position to take for cunnilingus: one hand supporting woman under bottom, other hand inside vagina stroking G-spot, mouth on clitoral hood stimulating clitoral glans.
* Music is a good aid to sex; it helps with getting more into your body and with pacing and rhythm. Ravel's Bolero was mentioned as good sex music. Similarly with whale song. (?!)
* Candida Royalle was a director of feminist pornography aimed at women and couples.
* Apparently blowing into a woman's vagina (as if inflating a balloon) can lead to an embolism and death. My two thoughts upon learning this were: 1) That's horrifying. 2) That's a hilarious.
* Kerner gives a fair few erotic literary recommendations for foreplay:
I can't remember why I picked this up. I think I was searching for Sex at Dawn on the library app and was drawn in by the funny cover.
The core insight from this book was that cunnilingus is probably the most important part of a woman's sexual experience. The anatomy of female genitalia seems to be such that penetration doesn't reliably lead to orgasm, manual stimulation is ok, but oral sex is really the best approach. Kerner basically succeeded at convincing me on this point.
Notes:
* Kerner refers to his wife as his Stradivarius, which is either super cringey or hilarious.
* There seem to be three clusters of people in sexual attitude space: traditionalists, relationalists, recreationalists.
* Women have the same number of nerve endings spread over a smaller surface area, and also have thinner and less hairy skin, making it more sensitive than men's.
* Avoid flossing and brushing before sex as this can lead to cuts. Instead use a mouthwash.
* Kerner recommends the following to put your lady at ease while going down on her:
Express the Three Assurances of cunnilingus persistently throughout your session: 1) Going down on her turns you on; you enjoy it as much as she does. 2) There's no rush; she has all the time in the world; you want to savor every moment. 3) Her scent is provocative, her taste intoxicating: it all emanates from the same beautiful essence.
* Getting comfortable with your partner masturbating around one another is useful.
* Kerner divides sex into foreplay, coreplay, and moreplay. Moreplay is cuddling and stuff afterwards. Kerner warns not to neglect this; because men have a rapid refactory period after orgasm in which they lose interest and go to sleep, but women take a while to cool down. This post-coital period can have a lot of bonding significance for women, so this is a key place to score relationship points.
* When cunnilinging try horizontal and vertical strokes of the tongue.
* Apparently this is a good position to take for cunnilingus: one hand supporting woman under bottom, other hand inside vagina stroking G-spot, mouth on clitoral hood stimulating clitoral glans.
* Music is a good aid to sex; it helps with getting more into your body and with pacing and rhythm. Ravel's Bolero was mentioned as good sex music. Similarly with whale song. (?!)
* Candida Royalle was a director of feminist pornography aimed at women and couples.
* Apparently blowing into a woman's vagina (as if inflating a balloon) can lead to an embolism and death. My two thoughts upon learning this were: 1) That's horrifying. 2) That's a hilarious.
* Kerner gives a fair few erotic literary recommendations for foreplay:
James Salter's erotic masterpiece, A Sport and a Pastime; Anais Nin’s collections of short stories Delta of Venus and Little Birds; the erotic novels Emanuelle by Emanuelle Arsan and Story of O by Pauline Reage; Harold Brodkey's sexual saga “Innocence” — perhaps the greatest depiction of a session of
cunnilingus ever penned; novels by Jerzy Kosinski such as Passion Play and Cockpit; Henry Miller's Under the Roofs of Paris and Quiet Days in Clichy; My Secret Life by Anonymous and The Pure and the Impure by Colette; Nancy Friday's anthology of fantasies, Secret Garden (filled with the correspondence of real people's fantasies); stories from The Mammoth Book of Erotica or one of the many erotic anthologies edited by Susie Bright. For those with a taste for poetry, try Les Fleurs du Mai (Flowers of Evil) by Charles Baudelaire or Flesh Unlimited by Guillaume Apollinaire. And for those who like comic books (kinky ones, that is), try the extra-hot works of writer/illustrator Eric Stanton, who specializes in female-domination fantasies.
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
fast-paced
Informative guide for men (or women), lots of insight and ‘factual’