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4.28 AVERAGE
4.28 AVERAGE
Major trigger warning for sexual/physical abuse ⛔️
I cannot believe the strength and resilience that Ruth had to not only share her story, but to have lived it. This memoir was REALLY hard to read, but I couldn’t put it down. One of the best, if not the best, memoirs that I’ve ever read.
I cannot believe the strength and resilience that Ruth had to not only share her story, but to have lived it. This memoir was REALLY hard to read, but I couldn’t put it down. One of the best, if not the best, memoirs that I’ve ever read.
When I picked this up, I thought it would be similar to [b:The Truth About Rebecca Musser & The Witness Wore Red|18999703|The Truth About Rebecca Musser & The Witness Wore Red|Cole|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1385552080s/18999703.jpg|27021591] or [b:Stolen Innocence: My Story of Growing Up in a Polygamous Sect, Becoming a Teenage Bride, and Breaking Free of Warren Jeffs|2659997|Stolen Innocence My Story of Growing Up in a Polygamous Sect, Becoming a Teenage Bride, and Breaking Free of Warren Jeffs|Elissa Wall|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1255629380s/2659997.jpg|3340863]. Mostly due to the subject matter of polygamist Mormonism. However, as described in this book, the fundamentalism Mormonism of Colonia Lebaron is quite different from the fundamentalism of FLDS/Jeffs family Mormonism. At least, it's different on a cosmetic level. Ruth and her siblings didn't grow up in prairie outfits. They're on a superficially looser leash. They wore jeans and t-shirts. Musser got into trouble for listening to cassette tapes of sugary sweet pop songs, while Wariner was able to drink and go out of discotheques. Musser and her siblings lived in the same town, went to a FLDS school, worked for FLDS businesses. Wariner and her siblings went to local Mexican and American schools and (her brothers at least) worked for non-Mormon companies. At first glance, the presence of cult religion feels overall less pervasive in the Sound of Gravel. We hear a lot more about struggling to survive and feed everyone rather than anything about cult theology.
However, it's still there. People in Colonia Lebaron might have a bit more freedom that FLDS folks but, when push comes to shove, you see them consistently choosing damaging aspects of their faith over their safety, and the safety of their children. But it's not all about religion. I have the tag 'banality of evil' for a reason here. It's about the kind of evil that's totally lacking in glamor. The kind of evil you're most likely to encounter in the real world. And it's on display here. So many adults absolutely failed Wariner and her siblings. Strip away the fundamentalist Mormonism and border crossing, and you're still going to find a situation that many children live with. Physical and sexual abuse. Neglect. The blame for the child's pain being placed on the child because the child won't forgive their abuser. There are probably better books out there for learning about Colonia Lebaron. However, the Sound of Gravel is a pretty powerful memoir about institutionalized abuse and the mental strength it would take to leave such a situation.
However, it's still there. People in Colonia Lebaron might have a bit more freedom that FLDS folks but, when push comes to shove, you see them consistently choosing damaging aspects of their faith over their safety, and the safety of their children. But it's not all about religion. I have the tag 'banality of evil' for a reason here. It's about the kind of evil that's totally lacking in glamor. The kind of evil you're most likely to encounter in the real world. And it's on display here. So many adults absolutely failed Wariner and her siblings. Strip away the fundamentalist Mormonism and border crossing, and you're still going to find a situation that many children live with. Physical and sexual abuse. Neglect. The blame for the child's pain being placed on the child because the child won't forgive their abuser. There are probably better books out there for learning about Colonia Lebaron. However, the Sound of Gravel is a pretty powerful memoir about institutionalized abuse and the mental strength it would take to leave such a situation.
challenging
dark
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Wow. This memoir. Highly recommend. Tough, intense read, but well written.
dark
emotional
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fast-paced
This memoir is truly a heartbreaking story in so very many ways. As sad as it is, I agree with another reviewer in that the author never asks for or wants your pity. This is simply her and her family’s story. I can not fathom living in her existence but am also endlessly impressed with her strength and resilience to it. I wish her mother would’ve done so much better, but she was also a flawed woman trying to do the best with what she knew, however senselessly she did so. A very captivating read.
reflective
sad
medium-paced
challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Sexual assault
My paternal second great-grandfather was a polygamist in Colonia Juarez, Mexico. I’ve read a lot about his families with his three wives. Thankfully, it sounded nothing even remotely similar to the author’s experience. It made me so sad for the life she lived there. It’s crazy that there are people living like that!
emotional
hopeful
sad
slow-paced
dark
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tense
fast-paced