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serendipitysbooks's review
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
God Says No is the story of Gary Gray who marries his first girlfriend while they are both attending a Christian college, despite knowing he is gay. Sexual incompatibility mars the marriage. He flees and plans to take a year trying to get the gay out of his system. When that doesn’t work he agrees to try Christian conversion therapy, which unsurprisingly doesn’t stop him being gay either. This was a tough read. His sense of shame was heartbreaking and the conversion “therapy” infuriated me. The damage Gary did to his wife by marrying her is obvious and it would be easy to judge him for that. But of course his actions have to be placed in context of a young man steeped in Christianity who believes that an innate part of him is wrong. Additionally Gary faced fat phobia which was never challenged. I was disappointed that this book didn’t take a strong stance against conversion therapy and that Gary didn’t get to fully and joyfully embrace his sexual identity. I wonder how this story would change if it were being written now as opposed to when it was actually written more than a decade ago.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia
Moderate: Racism
leighnonymous's review
3.0
This disappointing story simply doesn't follow through on the major tenet of its plot: whether or not homosexuality can be accepted by an individual who is predisposed to those feelings. The abrupt ending does little more than dismiss that internal struggle, concluding instead with Gary accepting his duty to fatherhood. This is a cop-out, in my opinion; he cannot defer his struggle with homosexuality while he figures out how to be a father.
I hoped that somewhere in the book he would learn to love himself and accept himself as he was made, learn a little from other strong characters in the book, like Miquel or Manny. Instead, he berates himself with the most hateful part of religion he can find. It was difficult to read the brainwashing he went through for an entire year while he attempted to "pray the gay out." This made me hate - yes, hate - religion even more for how it preys upon our feelings and makes us hate ourselves, believing every normal temptation is a mortal sin.
I didn't care for his clueless wife, Annie; she cried and whined and really should have just stepped out of the picture.
The "year of free checking" was amazing to read. I loved reading about him wandering through Midtown Atlanta, learning about himself and his urges. I think he misplaced his disappointment with the experience and attributed it to being bad at being gay as opposed to being human and failing at a relationship.
This reminded me a lot of "The Dive From Clausen's Pier" because you root for the main character to start over and discover who he/she is and make a new life only to find one's tail between one's legs, retreating. Gary, you are good enough! Get out there and embrace your homosexuality!
I hoped that somewhere in the book he would learn to love himself and accept himself as he was made, learn a little from other strong characters in the book, like Miquel or Manny. Instead, he berates himself with the most hateful part of religion he can find. It was difficult to read the brainwashing he went through for an entire year while he attempted to "pray the gay out." This made me hate - yes, hate - religion even more for how it preys upon our feelings and makes us hate ourselves, believing every normal temptation is a mortal sin.
I didn't care for his clueless wife, Annie; she cried and whined and really should have just stepped out of the picture.
The "year of free checking" was amazing to read. I loved reading about him wandering through Midtown Atlanta, learning about himself and his urges. I think he misplaced his disappointment with the experience and attributed it to being bad at being gay as opposed to being human and failing at a relationship.
This reminded me a lot of "The Dive From Clausen's Pier" because you root for the main character to start over and discover who he/she is and make a new life only to find one's tail between one's legs, retreating. Gary, you are good enough! Get out there and embrace your homosexuality!
mieldog's review against another edition
4.0
A good read! Hopefully these types of books will be historical fiction one day.
k_aldrich's review against another edition
2.0
Premise: devout, fat, black Christian man discovers he has homosexual desires and struggles fighting against them for basically the rest of his life.
This was a hard book to read and sad. It was sad because the main character (Gary Gray) had so many toxic internalizations that effected his life. He struggled with body image and negatively brought up his weight on the regular and he had very toxic attitudes towards homosexuality (which is the point of the book I know but that doesn’t make reading it easier). When he is in a program to affirm his love of Christ and working to not be gay he has “masculinity repair” sessions like group therapy. I think this is grounded in a reality and when I’m exposed to those moments of reality it pushes me away. I don’t want to read about someone learning toxic masculinity, but it does make sense for this story. Structurally this book felt too long. It almost has a stream of conscious feel to it (and those books aren’t my cup of tea).
While this is likely an important book, it was difficult to get through.
This was a hard book to read and sad. It was sad because the main character (Gary Gray) had so many toxic internalizations that effected his life. He struggled with body image and negatively brought up his weight on the regular and he had very toxic attitudes towards homosexuality (which is the point of the book I know but that doesn’t make reading it easier). When he is in a program to affirm his love of Christ and working to not be gay he has “masculinity repair” sessions like group therapy. I think this is grounded in a reality and when I’m exposed to those moments of reality it pushes me away. I don’t want to read about someone learning toxic masculinity, but it does make sense for this story. Structurally this book felt too long. It almost has a stream of conscious feel to it (and those books aren’t my cup of tea).
While this is likely an important book, it was difficult to get through.
pturnbull's review against another edition
4.0
This is the story of a gay man who was raised within the African American Christian evangelical tradition. The book is divided into three sections that correspond to radically different periods of Gary Gray's life. The first section is the most difficult to relate to. This is when Gary is deeply closeted and his personality is not appealing, because he is living a lie. In the second section, Gary explores a fuller, richer, more honest personality, though he is not comfortable with it, and it is still not entirely honest, but that is when I began to truly enjoy the novel. There are remarkably complex characters here, no stereotypes, no caricatures, nor villains, even when Gary enters into a homosexual recovery program. We meet a multitude of characters who struggle to reconcile their identity with society;their differing responses and varying degrees of success are all believable. The ending is also well done and satisfying. This book was a finalist for the Lambda Award. I recommend it highly.
the_original_shelf_monkey's review against another edition
5.0
What is most surprising about Hannaham's tale is how superbly he handles all sides of the issue. Gary is absolutely sincere in his desire to change that which can never be, although it is obvious that he's happiest and most 'himself' when he accepts his nature. When he enters a program to 'remove' his homosexuality, a lesser writer would likely use the opportunity to condemn such actions as ludicrous and hateful. But Gary and his teachers are fundamentally good people, led by firm beliefs that what they do is right. This is not an attack on Christianity, but a dissection of people who take the Bible very seriously at the expense of their own unique individualities. There are no cheap shots, no laughs at the expense of bigotry. Hannaham's tale slowly expands itself into an exploration of how we all lie to ourselves to make ourselves feel better, and how we all alter our behaviour to suit the beliefs of others. Gary and his fellow students at the ministry are devout in their belief that they can change an innate portion of their being to satisfy others, even though the entire notion is inherently laughable. The rest of their lives will be spent in hollow denial of themselves, if the treatment actually worked: "Dr. Soffione's treatment didn't offer a 100 percent cure. From the way Bill and Gay spoke about it, nobody could. Did Christ really want that for us? Would we have to spend the rest of our lives counting the seconds to make sure our hugs didn't go into overtime?"
Read the rest of the review here.
Read the rest of the review here.
aspeed's review against another edition
4.0
A very well written book about an obese, extremely devout African American man in the South who is gay and doesn't want to be, so he struggles very hard to be "normal", a prospect doomed to failure. He tries marriage to a woman, a year of "free checking", an "ex-gay" ministry, but in the end, perhaps he can only accept what he truly is. His own contradictions and hypocrisies are shown in a very realistic way, and even the easy to mock ex-gay crowd are portrayed in a sympathetic (if self-loathing) light. I will admit the characters' Candide like naiveté was a little tiring at times, and I didn't always like him, but that's not a bad thing. An excellent read, and very different from the usual McSweeney's fare.