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4.0 AVERAGE
4.0 AVERAGE
The short of it is: not for me, will not be reading any additional books in the series.
The long of it:
This story could have been a lot of fun, if it were half to one-third as long. This one is full of filler that does nothing but bog the story down, and make Donna a really hard to connect with character.
The only thing more difficult than finding a well-written more typical FMC is finding a well-written older FMC. Donna is...ugh. Shallow, obsessed with her kids until it's inconvenient to be, super sensitive about other women's choices, fatphobic, really an all 'round unpleasant to read female main—because she's a flat, rather misogynist stereotype.
Huge TW/CW for fatphobia and diet obsession on this one.
If you need an idea of what most of this book is, I'll save you the trouble. I will be Donna for a minute: Man, look at all of these CARBS. I love CARBS, but can not eat the CARBS. I need to think about how long to run to burn off calories. I've done minor botox, I should look at doing more. Icky wrinkles. Look at all of those wives over there; I'm going to grade all of their faces and speculate about how much plastic surgery they've had and how much I think they work out and judge their bodies. Oop, this might trigger a hot flash. [a lot of pointless detail about clothes and shoes and obsessing about being a size 8]. Shit, there are more CARBS over there. This funeral food is the worst, so many CARBS. I really hate that other woman over there, the one meant to be a villain; we know, because she's the only mafia wife not obsessed with being thin with her triple chin, ugly face, and being described as practically a gorilla. She thinks I want her equally fat, and therefore, gross and villainous husband. She eats CARBS. All of the CARBS. I should indulge in some CARBS right now. I'm going to engage in a lot of wishful thinking that has no basis in reality and literally everyone else can see what a terrible idea it is and get myself into a bad situation. OMG, another woman said she's glad she never had children AND NOW I'M MAD, because her choices totally invalidate my choices by having to hear them. Oh. I'm a vampire now? I can eat the CARBS when I want to! And now I'm a size 4. CARBS CARBS CARBS.
OH. And I'm being set up to be The Most Special and Rare Chosen One.
I really wish I were exaggerating on this. This is the content of at least half the book and does nothing for the story.
2 stars for the potential of this story, a couple nods to other works that I picked up on like Sister Act and Married To The Mob, and interesting side characters who do not get enough "screen" time. The final 3 chapters are where most of the actual story happens, but it took way too long to get to them. At a shorter length with all of the fatphobic bs edited out, this would have easily been a 3-3.5 star read.
The long of it:
This story could have been a lot of fun, if it were half to one-third as long. This one is full of filler that does nothing but bog the story down, and make Donna a really hard to connect with character.
The only thing more difficult than finding a well-written more typical FMC is finding a well-written older FMC. Donna is...ugh. Shallow, obsessed with her kids until it's inconvenient to be, super sensitive about other women's choices, fatphobic, really an all 'round unpleasant to read female main—because she's a flat, rather misogynist stereotype.
Huge TW/CW for fatphobia and diet obsession on this one.
If you need an idea of what most of this book is, I'll save you the trouble. I will be Donna for a minute: Man, look at all of these CARBS. I love CARBS, but can not eat the CARBS. I need to think about how long to run to burn off calories. I've done minor botox, I should look at doing more. Icky wrinkles. Look at all of those wives over there; I'm going to grade all of their faces and speculate about how much plastic surgery they've had and how much I think they work out and judge their bodies. Oop, this might trigger a hot flash. [a lot of pointless detail about clothes and shoes and obsessing about being a size 8]. Shit, there are more CARBS over there. This funeral food is the worst, so many CARBS. I really hate that other woman over there, the one meant to be a villain; we know, because she's the only mafia wife not obsessed with being thin with her triple chin, ugly face, and being described as practically a gorilla. She thinks I want her equally fat, and therefore, gross and villainous husband. She eats CARBS. All of the CARBS. I should indulge in some CARBS right now. I'm going to engage in a lot of wishful thinking that has no basis in reality and literally everyone else can see what a terrible idea it is and get myself into a bad situation. OMG, another woman said she's glad she never had children AND NOW I'M MAD, because her choices totally invalidate my choices by having to hear them. Oh. I'm a vampire now? I can eat the CARBS when I want to! And now I'm a size 4. CARBS CARBS CARBS.
OH. And I'm being set up to be The Most Special and Rare Chosen One.
I really wish I were exaggerating on this. This is the content of at least half the book and does nothing for the story.
2 stars for the potential of this story, a couple nods to other works that I picked up on like Sister Act and Married To The Mob, and interesting side characters who do not get enough "screen" time. The final 3 chapters are where most of the actual story happens, but it took way too long to get to them. At a shorter length with all of the fatphobic bs edited out, this would have easily been a 3-3.5 star read.
DNF at 30%. I couldn't get past the constant focus on the main character's weight. I get that she needed to keep up appearances as it were, but I don't need to be told on every. single. page. that she's a size 4 and has to shop for new clothes because everything is falling off of her.
I was hoping this would be similar to Darynda Jones or Shannon Mayer’s 40 series. But no. This was boringgg