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codalion's review
4.0
The most insightful and useful parts of this book, I found, weren't the "field guide" parts to the trends and perils of a particular social scene (though I'm sure they'd be more handy for someone more extroverted and poly and exhibitionist!), but the advice on personal and interpersonal attitudes and mindsets to consider and internalize -- self-acceptance, personal integrity, navigating a social world where other people will inevitably make you uncomfortable or pressure you, and keeping your own self and goals in sight. I really liked all the stuff on making sure you understand what you yourself want out of the "scene" (as in the social sphere, not a particular encounter) and not kidding yourself into believing it's something else, and the descriptions of the widely-varying degrees to which people get socially involved with it; in a world where I've often been deterred from any involvement whatsoever out of a perceived sex-positive pressure towards more and more public and more extreme, it's really encouraging.
That being said, the logistical and subculture-specific stuff is pretty cool too! It's just a nice, concrete, sensible, tangible book on a bunch of social and interpersonal aspects of kink culture; you won't find anything how to tie shibari knots or what makes a real [X] or [Y] here, or even that much about questioning self-discovery aside from an encouragement to explore it -- it's about finding an approach that works for you for engaging with other people. Which I find profoundly more difficult and intimidating.
The authors come off like nice, sensible people too. I especially liked Mollena's contributions.
That being said, the logistical and subculture-specific stuff is pretty cool too! It's just a nice, concrete, sensible, tangible book on a bunch of social and interpersonal aspects of kink culture; you won't find anything how to tie shibari knots or what makes a real [X] or [Y] here, or even that much about questioning self-discovery aside from an encouragement to explore it -- it's about finding an approach that works for you for engaging with other people. Which I find profoundly more difficult and intimidating.
The authors come off like nice, sensible people too. I especially liked Mollena's contributions.
kalyx's review
3.0
After being very impressed with Lee Harrington's and Molina William's essays in the Ultimate Guide to Kink, I picked up a digital copy of Playing Well with Others upon release. I found it a bit disappointing. I often approach books from the leaders of the BDSM community searching for inspiration. I found that in abundance in The Ultimate Guide to Kink, but not in this book. However, this is a book designed to assist those who are new to the world of BDSM, swinging and kink to assist in navigating the increasingly complex world of munches, on-line communities, clubs, festivals, conferences, etc. They are very thorough in detailed descriptions of all of these outlets and provide excellent information on how to navigate these scenes. More importantly, they give great tips on how to negotiate scenes and relationships once you find the people you do want to play with. So my disappointment should be taken with a grain of salt. This book was not written for an audience that has already been navigating this world for the last 15 years, but is for those new to these scenes. But despite this, there was still a wealth of valuable information that I didn't already know or hadn't previously considered.
katie_king's review
3.0
"Science is nothing, but trained and organized common sense." - Thomas Huxley
This is a common-sense guide to dipping one's toes into BDSM & the kink community, which also packs in a lot of good advice for relating to other humans in everyday life - friends, partners, lovers, co-workers, etc.
Consider it as a primer or a reference book and take from it what you need.
This is a common-sense guide to dipping one's toes into BDSM & the kink community, which also packs in a lot of good advice for relating to other humans in everyday life - friends, partners, lovers, co-workers, etc.
Consider it as a primer or a reference book and take from it what you need.
ebb_and_flow's review against another edition
adventurous
funny
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
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