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4.02 AVERAGE
4.02 AVERAGE
challenging
dark
emotional
tense
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Man this was a lot heavier than I thought it was going to be! I came across this book and thought it would be a cute enough middle grade to spark joy and remind me of the summer reading I did as a kid. While it did spark joy, I got slapped in the face with a hard hitting tale of a girl growing up and learning the complex reality of never fully being able to be the kid your parents wants you to be, but at an incredibly young age. There's a great balance here of adults being terrible and a young girl not having the emotional maturity to understand why the adults are being terrible, but doing her best to survive it anyways. Not sure how it would read for kids (especially since it includes mature language too) but I enjoyed it and was surprised by the emotional depth.
sad
Cross-posted from my blog where there's more information on where I got my copy and links and everything. https://lainahastoomuchsparetime.wordpress.com/2025/02/17/things-ive-read-recently-174-bear-pick-the-bear-this-is-why-we-pick-the-bear/
Oh, I had mixed feelings about this. First of all, I read the summary of this a coupple times and nothing in the summary says this is historical fiction, but it’s set in 1993. There is no real reason for it to be set in the 90s besides that Victoria and her siblings don’t have cellphones to contact their mother. There are a few pop culture references, but most of the book is set at a campground so you don’t even really notice the different technology or anything. Victoria also mentions having bangs in the book but her cover counterpart doesn’t have any, which makes her hair look much more modern than the very styled 90s bangs she talks about having. It feels a little misleading marketing-wise.
Victoria and her siblings are spending their summer with their estranged father, and it’s never explained why. Her parents are divorced and there doesn’t seem to be any kind of custody order or anything. Considering how emotionally and physically abusive their father is and how reluctant their mother is, it comes across as strange that she doesn’t do anything to protect the kids.
Over the course of the month they spend with him, Victoria’s father gets increasingly more and more emotionally abusive, specifically to her, while favouring her brother and largely ignoring her little sister. There is a lot of sexism and constant degrading of her and it is honestly kind of exhausting to read. There’s no balance of good things that happen. She doesn’t make a friend or connect more with her brother or anything you would expect – it’s just three hundred pages of misery.
At one point, Victoria’s father hits her in the face repeatedly until she bruises and she never tells her mother. No one ever actually helps them – the summer just ends and they go home. I don’t like that message in a middle grade book. The author’s note says something like, “If you’re a kid whose parent has left, there’s nothing wrong with you,” which is a great message but there aren’t any resources or hotlines or anything a child experiencing this could use to get actual help.
This is also another book that spends a great deal of time talking about periods because apparently I read a lot of those now. Victoria’s mother didn’t do a very good job preparing her for her first one, which she gets in the book. She’s constantly calling her period supplies “Womanhood Supplies” which get grating and certainly isn’t very inclusive. I like normalization of periods in middle grade, but it’s a little overdone here.
Overall, I liked the voice of this but it wasn’t an enjoyable reading experience and I’d hesitate to recommend it to kids because of the messaging issues I mentioned earlier. I had the sequel/companion on my to-read list but I don’t know if I want to pick it up now. Really a bummer.
Representation: Victoria has anxiety. She is offered no real support for her anxiety by her family, even the well-meaning ones.
Content notes: Child abuse, both emotional and physical. Victoria’s father is sexist, degrading, drinks too much, slaps her repeatedly, and it’s mentioned he used to hit them with his belt. There is also so much body shaming/fat shaming.
Periods are also talked about a TON and in a heavily gendered way that’s a little uncomfortable at times.
Off-topic but how detailed her toes are on the cover freaks me out.
Oh, I had mixed feelings about this. First of all, I read the summary of this a coupple times and nothing in the summary says this is historical fiction, but it’s set in 1993. There is no real reason for it to be set in the 90s besides that Victoria and her siblings don’t have cellphones to contact their mother. There are a few pop culture references, but most of the book is set at a campground so you don’t even really notice the different technology or anything. Victoria also mentions having bangs in the book but her cover counterpart doesn’t have any, which makes her hair look much more modern than the very styled 90s bangs she talks about having. It feels a little misleading marketing-wise.
Victoria and her siblings are spending their summer with their estranged father, and it’s never explained why. Her parents are divorced and there doesn’t seem to be any kind of custody order or anything. Considering how emotionally and physically abusive their father is and how reluctant their mother is, it comes across as strange that she doesn’t do anything to protect the kids.
Over the course of the month they spend with him, Victoria’s father gets increasingly more and more emotionally abusive, specifically to her, while favouring her brother and largely ignoring her little sister. There is a lot of sexism and constant degrading of her and it is honestly kind of exhausting to read. There’s no balance of good things that happen. She doesn’t make a friend or connect more with her brother or anything you would expect – it’s just three hundred pages of misery.
At one point, Victoria’s father hits her in the face repeatedly until she bruises and she never tells her mother. No one ever actually helps them – the summer just ends and they go home. I don’t like that message in a middle grade book. The author’s note says something like, “If you’re a kid whose parent has left, there’s nothing wrong with you,” which is a great message but there aren’t any resources or hotlines or anything a child experiencing this could use to get actual help.
This is also another book that spends a great deal of time talking about periods because apparently I read a lot of those now. Victoria’s mother didn’t do a very good job preparing her for her first one, which she gets in the book. She’s constantly calling her period supplies “Womanhood Supplies” which get grating and certainly isn’t very inclusive. I like normalization of periods in middle grade, but it’s a little overdone here.
Overall, I liked the voice of this but it wasn’t an enjoyable reading experience and I’d hesitate to recommend it to kids because of the messaging issues I mentioned earlier. I had the sequel/companion on my to-read list but I don’t know if I want to pick it up now. Really a bummer.
Representation: Victoria has anxiety. She is offered no real support for her anxiety by her family, even the well-meaning ones.
Content notes: Child abuse, both emotional and physical. Victoria’s father is sexist, degrading, drinks too much, slaps her repeatedly, and it’s mentioned he used to hit them with his belt. There is also so much body shaming/fat shaming.
Periods are also talked about a TON and in a heavily gendered way that’s a little uncomfortable at times.
Off-topic but how detailed her toes are on the cover freaks me out.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Sexism
Moderate: Fatphobia, Physical abuse
Minor: Panic attacks/disorders
emotional
sad
medium-paced
adventurous
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Plot
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Blood, Abandonment, Alcohol
Minor: Animal cruelty
I truly do not know how to rate this. The writing was good, but the content was brutal.
I see how she wrote this for all the abused kids out there…and perhaps they will benefit from reading this. I hope so, I really do.
I cannot relate at all to this story so clearly I am not the target audience. I had an amazing father. I cannot even fathom any parent talking to a child the way this dad talks to his.
I did not enjoy this book. At all. Nearly bailed on it part way in. But I hate giving up on a book. And it’s a short listen really. (Audiobook). So I stuck with it. But I don’t know how I feel now.
Definitely the final message, which I am sure everyone can guess is coming just from the book description, is important. But gawd I don’t see any reason to subject yourself to reading about this child’s verbal abuse by her dad unless you can relate.
Just be warned that this book is a serious rough ride.
I see how she wrote this for all the abused kids out there…and perhaps they will benefit from reading this. I hope so, I really do.
I cannot relate at all to this story so clearly I am not the target audience. I had an amazing father. I cannot even fathom any parent talking to a child the way this dad talks to his.
I did not enjoy this book. At all. Nearly bailed on it part way in. But I hate giving up on a book. And it’s a short listen really. (Audiobook). So I stuck with it. But I don’t know how I feel now.
Definitely the final message, which I am sure everyone can guess is coming just from the book description, is important. But gawd I don’t see any reason to subject yourself to reading about this child’s verbal abuse by her dad unless you can relate.
Just be warned that this book is a serious rough ride.
adventurous
challenging
emotional
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
This was a page turner. It made me want to keep reading.
emotional
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Animal cruelty, Body horror, Bullying, Child abuse, Alcohol
This was heart wrenching. I felt sad for Victoria and angry at both her parents. Victoria is supposed to be 12 but she feels younger than that. Explores themes of emotional and physical abuse, self-worth, family dynamics. Epistolary.