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zilha's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Just finished the book Acts of Desperation. Megan Nolan's unnamed protagonist took my breath away. With a pounding heart and occasionally the painful teeth of shame slowly scraping my intestines, I finished the book. I can sometimes act cold and distant like Ciaran, but even more often I am anxious, insecure and looking for validation of my person and existence, not in the same ways as the main character, but from the same all-consuming desperation to love and be loved.
This book is not a love story. It's painful, raw and nasty. It's despair, obsession, depression.The main character is aware of her bad choices, her inability to be alone, her jealousy, eating disorder, her obsession with Ciaran: beautiful, unattainable and still in love with his ex. She doesn't always seem to know why she makes certain choices. This is an honest story, at some points relatable even. The idea that finding love suddenly makes you complete, as if you have found the answer to a complicated math problem and don't have to think about anything anymore. As if you end where the other person begins. Losing yourself in the daily tasks as a woman who automatically takes on the traditional role in the relationship, unspoken, because you’re doing what is expected of you. The feeling that you can only be loved for your body, for sex. Not loving yourself and wanting someone else to be able to do this for you and prove to you that you are worth it, where the search for love -again- ends in a bar with a sketchy man and that small moment of validation that comes in exchange for sex. The latter has not been my own experience, but I understand the main character and my heart aches for her. The binge drinking, the self-harm, the obsessive digital stalking of Ciaran's ex for the sole purpose of comparing herself to her, looking for reasons that confirm she doesn't deserve the love she so desperately desires.
The main character loses herself in her obsession and creates a codependent relationship. Ciaran depends on her to fulfill his daily needs because it is the only way she can bind him to her. Ultimately, something like love arises between them because the distant, cruel Ciaran, who seems to be able to miss her, expresses his concerns about her for the first time in the years that they have been together. Nevertheless, this is too late, as she has slowly learned to find her self-worth in other men who use her for sex. She cheats several times and eventually this leads to a painful, intense confrontation.
For me, this is a story in which the main character ultimately finds her voice and increasingly realizes what her own opinion is, what her own desires are, and thus starts to break free from the urge for validation from men. Ultimately there is one thing that bothered me: the way she seemed to excuse the rape, since she also did bad things. I’m not sure how to feel about that, or maybe there’s another way to read that part? Nolan's writing style is striking: the story reads smoothly, she manages to say a lot with a few words and the urgency and desperation for love in all its ways touches me, all ways.
This book is not a love story. It's painful, raw and nasty. It's despair, obsession, depression.
The main character loses herself in her obsession and creates a codependent relationship. Ciaran depends on her to fulfill his daily needs because it is the only way she can bind him to her. Ultimately, something like love arises between them because the distant, cruel Ciaran, who seems to be able to miss her, expresses his concerns about her for the first time in the years that they have been together. Nevertheless, this is too late, as she has slowly learned to find her self-worth in other men who use her for sex. She cheats several times and eventually this leads to a painful, intense confrontation.
For me, this is a story in which the main character ultimately finds her voice and increasingly realizes what her own opinion is, what her own desires are, and thus starts to break free from the urge for validation from men. Ultimately there is one thing that bothered me: the way she seemed to excuse the rape, since she also did bad things. I’m not sure how to feel about that, or maybe there’s another way to read that part?
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Alcoholism, Self harm, and Rape
Moderate: Eating disorder
yinflower's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape and Self harm
Moderate: Toxic relationship, Injury/Injury detail, Fatphobia, Sexual violence, Dysphoria, Alcoholism, Eating disorder, and Addiction
dizzzybrook's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Body shaming, Physical abuse, Addiction, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual violence, Domestic abuse, and Sexual assault
kajasversion's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
I think the writing is magnificent and i truly did enjoy reading it. Some scenes were a bit too much for me personally, but not in a sense that they were bad, just that they were really gruesome and a bit hard to read. I think it’s an interesting portrayal of love that isn’t good for any party involved. I wasn´t rooting for any of the characters, but i did feel deep pain for how the mc was feeling because i think that her emotions and her view of the relationship and herself were so beautifully transferred onto paper.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Rape, Sexual assault, and Self harm
Moderate: Eating disorder
Minor: Vomit
leasasaa's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Self harm, Sexual assault, Infidelity, Rape, Toxic relationship, and Eating disorder
katelinwalsch's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Quick read that unfortunately hits a little too close to home. Greatly written, but lugubrious.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Self harm, Violence, Sexual assault, Eating disorder, Rape, Toxic relationship, Sexual violence, and Sexual content
eib_21's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Sexual content, and Rape
leoniepeonie's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
This book was pure pain to read, but wow. Nolan was so precise with the self-destruction of the protagonist and the minutiae of her heartache and emotion, and it was all so visceral and beautifully written.
I went into this book because a friend lent it to me. I'd been putting it off for a long time, suspecting it would be an intense, angsty relationship-y book aaaand reluctant to dive in because of the god-awful cover on the hardback edition. I thought this would be a wallowing book I wouldn't be able to get on board with, and for the first twenty or thirty pages or so I was feeling very, very done with the trope of self-hating 20-something women obsessing over problematic men and relationships. This book had its fair share of that trope within it, but it was done in such a wonderful way that it still had a lot to add to a saturated genre. It was pure toxicity but it explored the emotional depth of what would drive that situation, rather than primarily focusing on the immediacy of pain and difficulty as others in the genre have done. It looked at emotions and experiences directly as well as looking at the depth beneath it, which Nolan did particularly well because of the way she played with time. It had a rawness that was really special, and I raced through the book. I also love a short chapter, so that helped. Excellent.
I went into this book because a friend lent it to me. I'd been putting it off for a long time, suspecting it would be an intense, angsty relationship-y book aaaand reluctant to dive in because of the god-awful cover on the hardback edition. I thought this would be a wallowing book I wouldn't be able to get on board with, and for the first twenty or thirty pages or so I was feeling very, very done with the trope of self-hating 20-something women obsessing over problematic men and relationships. This book had its fair share of that trope within it, but it was done in such a wonderful way that it still had a lot to add to a saturated genre. It was pure toxicity but it explored the emotional depth of what would drive that situation, rather than primarily focusing on the immediacy of pain and difficulty as others in the genre have done. It looked at emotions and experiences directly as well as looking at the depth beneath it, which Nolan did particularly well because of the way she played with time. It had a rawness that was really special, and I raced through the book. I also love a short chapter, so that helped. Excellent.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, and Rape
Moderate: Self harm, Fatphobia, and Eating disorder
booksandlattesaddict's review against another edition
dark
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape
Moderate: Self harm and Domestic abuse
biancam513's review against another edition
challenging
dark
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
this was a very well written book that talked a lot about what it’s like to be a woman. it showed the cruelty in men and how women internalize it. i would’ve rated it higher but i am just personally opposed to rape scenes in any context and there was more than one
Content Warnings
Graphic: Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Rape, Sexual assault, and Emotional abuse