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The Art of People: The 11 Simple People Skills That Will Get You Everything You Want by Dave Kerpen
mercin's review against another edition
1.0
Couldn't get past more than a few chapters. The arrogant tone, the fact that every illustrative story is about the author, not an enjoyable read.
loz232's review against another edition
2.0
yawn
nothing super insightful or surprising here - most of it seems common sense or copied from other self help books... i wonder if he paid any of the people he quoted/copied for the content that actually meant something?
nothing super insightful or surprising here - most of it seems common sense or copied from other self help books... i wonder if he paid any of the people he quoted/copied for the content that actually meant something?
sandy_h's review against another edition
2.0
If you have not read Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, then you will find much to recommend in this book. But if you have read it, you are not likely to find a lot that is new. My reason for the 2 stars is due to the dearth of examples other than that of the authors own personal experiences. I would have appreciated examples and thoughts of others to round out and provide support for the authors personal opinions.
henrik_w's review against another edition
2.0
Disappointing. I bought The Art of People because of reviews describing it as How to Win Friends and Influence People updated for the age of social media. However, I was disappointed.
Even though there are genuinely good chapters, the book is nowhere near as good as Dale Carnegie’s classic book on people skills. One reason for this (I think) is that Dale Carnegie gave classes for years, if not decades, and heard personal stories from thousands of people on what worked and didn’t work. He was able to draw from all of these stories when writing How to Win Friends and Influence People. Dave Kerpen on the other hand is using only his own experience of dealing with people, and that doesn’t have the same impact.
Another reason I didn’t like this book much is that some of the advice and stories come across as quite shallow. For example, chapter 6 advices to have signature style, like always wearing orange shoes, as a way to get noticed when networking. In chapter 26, “You Never Get What You Don’t Ask For”, the author describes how they wanted a big wedding, but couldn’t afford one. So they organized sponsors (1-800-flowers.com, Smirnoff etc) and had it at a baseball stadium (“it generated about $20 million in earned media”). To some this may sound great, but to me it just feels like selling out.
Also, in several chapters (for example chapter 29) he talks about networking on social media. The problem is that his approach is so indiscriminate. He writes that he will promote anybody on Twitter that tweets him. When you promote anything, I feel that it cheapens the endorsement, even though it might get you extra followers on Twitter, or more connections on LinkedIn.
Another problem I have with some of the advice is that it worked for him, but that doesn’t mean that it will work for others. In the story of the orange shoes, he ended up connecting with influential venture capitalist. I am not sure that universal lessons can be drawn from this event. Ditto for chapter 43, “Let Go to Get What You Want”, where he could not get involved with a woman because she was married. As it turned out, they got together years later, and are now married, but again I am not sure you can count on “getting what you want” by letting go (even though letting go was the right thing to do).
Each chapter ends with First Action Steps to Take. In some cases these steps make sense, but mostly they are just summaries of the chapter made to look like actions to take, and that was a bit annoying. The first chapter refers to a personality test called Enneagram (“much better than Myers-Briggs”) that is included in an appendix. I did the test, but I don’t think it was any better or worse than Myer-Briggs. It also doesn’t figure in the rest of the book, so it felt a little out of place. In another appendix, there are inspirational quotes on a variety of subjects. I like his idea of being “unoriginal”, i.e. using good quotes instead of trying to express an idea yourself, and I love great quotes, but I found a lot of these quotes oddly bland.
All this said, there were parts of the book that I really liked. Chapters 15 and 16 on being heard and validating are great, as are chapters 39 and 47 on gratitude. I also think his advice on transparency and authenticity (particularly in social media) is spot on. Almost all chapters feature a personal story, and those make the book better and more memorable.
However, if you are looking for the next How to Win Friends and Influence People, I think you will be disappointed. I would recommend reading (or re-reading) that classic instead of getting this one. As for the advice on social media, I recommend reading Deep Work by Cal Newport for an alternative view on what to concentrate on.
Even though there are genuinely good chapters, the book is nowhere near as good as Dale Carnegie’s classic book on people skills. One reason for this (I think) is that Dale Carnegie gave classes for years, if not decades, and heard personal stories from thousands of people on what worked and didn’t work. He was able to draw from all of these stories when writing How to Win Friends and Influence People. Dave Kerpen on the other hand is using only his own experience of dealing with people, and that doesn’t have the same impact.
Another reason I didn’t like this book much is that some of the advice and stories come across as quite shallow. For example, chapter 6 advices to have signature style, like always wearing orange shoes, as a way to get noticed when networking. In chapter 26, “You Never Get What You Don’t Ask For”, the author describes how they wanted a big wedding, but couldn’t afford one. So they organized sponsors (1-800-flowers.com, Smirnoff etc) and had it at a baseball stadium (“it generated about $20 million in earned media”). To some this may sound great, but to me it just feels like selling out.
Also, in several chapters (for example chapter 29) he talks about networking on social media. The problem is that his approach is so indiscriminate. He writes that he will promote anybody on Twitter that tweets him. When you promote anything, I feel that it cheapens the endorsement, even though it might get you extra followers on Twitter, or more connections on LinkedIn.
Another problem I have with some of the advice is that it worked for him, but that doesn’t mean that it will work for others. In the story of the orange shoes, he ended up connecting with influential venture capitalist. I am not sure that universal lessons can be drawn from this event. Ditto for chapter 43, “Let Go to Get What You Want”, where he could not get involved with a woman because she was married. As it turned out, they got together years later, and are now married, but again I am not sure you can count on “getting what you want” by letting go (even though letting go was the right thing to do).
Each chapter ends with First Action Steps to Take. In some cases these steps make sense, but mostly they are just summaries of the chapter made to look like actions to take, and that was a bit annoying. The first chapter refers to a personality test called Enneagram (“much better than Myers-Briggs”) that is included in an appendix. I did the test, but I don’t think it was any better or worse than Myer-Briggs. It also doesn’t figure in the rest of the book, so it felt a little out of place. In another appendix, there are inspirational quotes on a variety of subjects. I like his idea of being “unoriginal”, i.e. using good quotes instead of trying to express an idea yourself, and I love great quotes, but I found a lot of these quotes oddly bland.
All this said, there were parts of the book that I really liked. Chapters 15 and 16 on being heard and validating are great, as are chapters 39 and 47 on gratitude. I also think his advice on transparency and authenticity (particularly in social media) is spot on. Almost all chapters feature a personal story, and those make the book better and more memorable.
However, if you are looking for the next How to Win Friends and Influence People, I think you will be disappointed. I would recommend reading (or re-reading) that classic instead of getting this one. As for the advice on social media, I recommend reading Deep Work by Cal Newport for an alternative view on what to concentrate on.
lyndseylibros's review
2.0
Torture to get through, I didn't even finish it. Was hoping for some nuggets of wisdom, but not really any to be found. As an autistic person, I struggle with communication and social nuances in general. This book wasn't helpful.
vladco's review against another edition
1.0
Super lightweight and fluffy. Almost nothing in this book is original. The construction of each chapter is in the style of those annoying as all hell LinkedIn posts that start with some attention-grabbing quote or dilemma, then go on to deliver a mundane piece of advice such as "praise in public, criticize in private" or "offer a feedback sandwich: a positive piece of feedback, a critical piece, then a positive piece of feedback." Wow, deep.
Also found the title distasteful because it implies relationships are about getting "everything you want." This isn't by accident ... the tips feel manipulative and focused on selfish goals, rather than on establishing healthy relationships.
This is 90% shallow stuff. There are far better books on this topic. Keep searching.
Also found the title distasteful because it implies relationships are about getting "everything you want." This isn't by accident ... the tips feel manipulative and focused on selfish goals, rather than on establishing healthy relationships.
This is 90% shallow stuff. There are far better books on this topic. Keep searching.
cdubiel's review against another edition
5.0
Loved this book. I'm going to use it for a set of exercises and discussion at work. I might even schedule Dave!