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reba_reads_books's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
2.0
This "new and improved" edition still feels outdated, not to mention riddled with typos. I stuck it out because this one has been on my "excited to read" list for awhile, mainly because the title spoke to me. Well, the title was misleading. There's maybe 2(?) pages near the beginning that speak to what it means to be loving; the remainder of the book speaks to what it means to be responsible, which is pretty much the topic of every single other nonfiction BDSM book out there. The sections on edgeplay are sure to ward off many readers, especially because they're before the sections about tamer forms of play. This author would've done much better to publish two books instead of this one, because the mindfucking examples speak to such a narrow subsect of advanced players. It was not only out of place but problematic when placed in a book marketed for beginners, especially considering every single other nonfiction BDSM book I've read has done a better job at teaching consent and negotiation. Frankly, this book would've been 1.5 stars for me had it not been for the content from chapter 11 through the end of the book. I'm not new to the lifestyle but still learned a lot in those sections, namely the "why" behind many of the practices I've been taught in person.
gaynidoking's review
funny
informative
lighthearted
fast-paced
3.5
Very informative, but went into a lot of detail that wasn't terribly relevant to me (like how to make your own leather tools and stuff like that.) There were also a few times the author was pretty blatantly fatphobic. The updated version has a very good appendix for extended reading and useful terms/templates.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Fatphobia
mec4's review against another edition
4.75
I enjoy the psychological dissection of why submissives submit, and why some dominants are dominants. Although, I think there is much more of a submissive spectrum than this book leads us all to see, and it’s important to recognize that not each D/s relationship relies on the foundation of sex. Sometimes it is a desire that is met, that is exciting, but not sexual in nature. The addition of perspectives would have helped my rating
lynn_the_greyhound_mum's review
1.0
Read this book because it was the book chosen by the book club I belong to. Some interesting points but I was not happy that the author seemed to advocate coercion if his partner was not fully onboard with what he wants. Often felt like a very 1950s view of BDSM. I would not feel safe in a scene with this man. Coercion is abuse not dominance.
phalle's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
garbage_mcsmutly's review
3.0
Decent advice for interpersonal stuff, but totally out of date on toys, how to meet people, etc. Also the parts written by Libby were just really terrible prose. She had a couple decent points but like, I don't think an editor ever laid eyes on it?
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