I should hate this book. Yet I couldn't put it down near the end.
A heartbreaking nightmare that was deeply terrifying to me in unexpected ways. It's about all the ways that "first contact" with alien cultures could go wrong. Intercultural misunderstandings and cultural contamination. But it's also about a Catholic Jesuit finding his god and absolution through a horrible experience.
It was almost cathartic to finish. I'm shooketh.
Kudos to author Mary Doria Russell for writing this horror masterpiece-- you almost scared 'god' into this atheist.

Content Warnings

captain_will's review against another edition

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adventurous challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Content Warnings

cattails's review

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challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

Content Warnings

amandabcook's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Content Warnings

dlxfuentes's review against another edition

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adventurous challenging mysterious reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

Content Warnings

hayoho's review

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dark emotional reflective slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

Content Warnings

emiliosandoz's review against another edition

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adventurous challenging emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

ok a lot of thoughts about the sparrow

for anyone who doesn’t know uhhh **huge r*pe tw**

ALSO A LOT OF SPOILERS!!!

i don’t think i can quite articulate to anyone, even my fiancee, what this book means to me. i really don’t.

how can i, a puerto rican interested in religion and space and constantly searching for g-d, who was viciously abused growing up, who spent hours sitting in front of my window and screaming at g-d, begging to know why he hated me or for answers as to why this was happening to me, explain to anyone who hasn’t been trafficked, who hasn’t been abused, what this book could possibly mean to someone like me??

they used me hard, john. they used me hard.

sometimes…sometimes there was an audience.

face it. tell us.

i was not a prostitute.

then at least i have the solace of hating g-d.

would you like to know precisely how dark the night of the soul can get?

as you see: the whore sleeps badly.

i was naked before g-d and i was raped.

like i can’t explain it. how can i articulate that emilio sandoz is everything i am on a page? the only difference between the two of us is he was abused by aliens and i was abused by my parents. the only difference is he’s a man and i’m not. the only difference is he’s older than me. the only difference is he’s a priest.

and those are THE ONLY differences.

how many times have i thought to myself well if i was meant for all the good that’s happened to me, then i have to have been meant for all the terrible too? and how many times have i thought to myself the equivalent of “but it was my body. it was my blood. and it was my love.” how many times have i hated g-d and loved him all over again and hated him again and….

idk man. i can’t articulate it. i just can’t. because i can’t show you how many times i’ve cried reading this book. i can’t show you my whole life because we haven’t invented memory recall display technology (or whatever it would be called) yet.

this is the best way i can describe any of it and i KNOW even this isn’t good enough.

i guess the only thing i could do is write down every single line from the book that made me scream on the inside. but if i did that we’d be here all day.

i mean…idk it’s the fact that emilio is puerto rican like i am. like THAT is what mostly messes with me. that and the fact he reacts to trauma the EXACT same way i do. and also his pride and inability to admit when he’s suffering.

HIS INTEREST IN LANGUAGES

THE WAY HE JOKES.

and then the trauma too.

he was used. he was used hard. he says that himself verbatim. (they used me, john. they used me hard.) and wow hi i was trafficked. i’m PERMANENTLY DISABLED because of what my father let those men do to me. so yeah it’s really fucking hard not to compare myself to emilio sandoz when humans are literally child sized on rakhat. not just child sized: they’re the size of an eight year old child. i was seven, okay? i was seven.

oh and then there’s the fact i literally have spent YEARS dESPISING g-d bc of what he put me through. do you want to know how many times i literally was on my knees in front of my bedroom window screaming and begging g-d to tell me why he was doing this to me, to tell me why he hated me. (do you want more? would you like to know precisely how dark the night of the soul can get?)

g-d’s whore. yeah. (as you see: the whore sleeps badly)

oh and the fact that emilio really wants to fucking be dead and against all odds he’s survived. like moi. (this will kill me. this will kill me and then i can stop trying to understand)

there’s also the fact my own father beat me and my mother just let it happen. she let that and everything else happen. kind of like emilio’s mother with his father.

and emilio being incapable of saying the word until forced to it. (i was not a prostitute. no you weren’t, what were you?) the fact he can’t say that word and that i literally can’t even think it now and that i had to astrick it out at the beginning of this post…

see there’s a reason why i can’t be normal about this book. it’s not just the fact that i love emilio and my heart breaks for him. it’s the fact that i AM him. THAT’S what fucks me up so much.

i AM emilio sandoz.

i know EXACTLY how he feels. i’ve reacted EXACTLY how he has. do you want to know how many times i’ve woken up yelping at night? my own fiancee can tell you. it happens at LEAST once a week.

would you like to know precisely how dark the night of the soul can get?

i can’t fucking handle it, okay? i literally can not.

Content Warnings

arayo's review

Go to review page

adventurous dark sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

More...

Reviews tagging 'Trafficking'

The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell

jpbarberis's review

cloud_reads's review against another edition

mdiffer's review

captain_will's review against another edition

cattails's review

amandabcook's review against another edition

dlxfuentes's review against another edition

hayoho's review

emiliosandoz's review against another edition

for anyone who doesn’t know uhhh huge r*pe tw

ALSO A LOT OF SPOILERS!!!

arayo's review

for anyone who doesn’t know uhhh **huge r*pe tw**