2.99k reviews for:

Split or Swallow

Lindsay Straube

3.53 AVERAGE


It's not dark, it's not demure, it's definitely not safe for work, but it is a wild and unpredictable reading experience.

Few pages were wasted before jumping into the thick and wet of it all. And yet, the first (of many, many, many) on-page spice scene was well set up with the preceding plot events and details. I have to say while this book might have been filled with filth, it was entertainingly incorporated into a thoughtfully developed plot. Five stars alone for the feat of merging smut and substance into such a smoothly cohesive and comprehensive storyline.

And for how many spicy moments there were, kudos to the author for keeping things fresh each time. Each instance was creatively unique, and some were definitely more unique, and some were definitely unhinged- intriguingly so. The graph of my eyebrow height as the story progressed is a steep upward slope. But I was not appalled, I was locked in and flipping pages.

To call this romantasy would be misleading to those getting into the genre, reading this without expectations would be absolutely jarring coming off the tails of Sarah J. Maas and Rebecca Yarros. Feyre, Bryce Quinlan, and Violet's libidos combined will not prepare readers. Maybe adding Nesta and Cassian would bring it closer. I advise you do not recommend this book to your unprepared or prudish friends.

To call this pure smut would be simply disrespectful, for all its carnal material there is just as much action and meaningful plot. Yes, there is *plenty* of pageporn- but there is also a lot of plotprose. The characters do a lot more than just fucking and sucking. More literary skill and editing was utilized than just eliminating typos and sub-par syntax.

Dare I say, this is cliterature? Because I think this would be a great hallmark example of fantasy books that are simultaneously absofuckinglutely filthy and still decently-written. Undeniable erotica nestled artfully into an intriguing story with strong throughline.

And for those of you who already read and enjoyed it, I say we petition Lindsay Straube to make the included extra scene after the end of the book (you know the one) canon.
dark fast-paced
Loveable characters: No

No shame wrt people who like the kind of smut portrayed in this book, but this was one of the worst books I’ve ever read. The writing was awful, the FMC was awful. I do not recommend.
adventurous dark mysterious medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Plot
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
emotional medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character

This is a PERFECT read if you want loooots of smut and the weirdest plot in the world. Kudos to the author. Your brain is *chef's kiss.*
challenging hopeful mysterious tense medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

I absolutely loved this! I went into this knowing what to expect (I don’t read the blurbs) and boy oh boy. I typically read smut and dark romance  and stay away from all romantasy and fantasy because there’s not enough of the smut that I like and too much plot but this was amazing! Definitely my favorite read this month 
adventurous emotional tense medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

I can’t. I genuinely had to force myself to read this book. I should’ve DNF’d it. The FMC was awful. The MMC was awful. I only liked 2 characters in the whole book. It was quite the wild ride so that’s why it gets a star. I can’t believe I finished it. I also think there were plot holes. Not a fan. Not for me. 

Tells instead of shows a lot and you basically get the whole plot in the first three chapters 
adventurous dark tense medium-paced

 DNF @ 34%.

1 star only because 0 stars isn't an option. This book is an absolute disaster. I downloaded it because a) the author has an IG account I used to enjoy and b) it was free on KU. Neither of those things should encourage you to read this.