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3.02k reviews for:

Split or Swallow

Lindsay Straube

3.53 AVERAGE


DO NOT LET THE BAD REVIEWS SWAY YOUUUU!!! Read. This. Book.

I’ll be the first to admit. I don’t read fantasy that often. But this? Oh man. I think I’ve just changed something in me.

You will not regret it. It’s amazing.
dark mysterious tense medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Definitely overhyped. Was it good? Yes it absolutely was! Read this after seeing so many reviews and reactions on social media about how this was “unhinged” and “you wouldn’t be the same person after reading this book” and while it was definitely different.. it wasn’t that bad. Maybe that says more about me?? I’d say 3.5 ⭐️
adventurous dark medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

That was .. interesting.
adventurous dark slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

My main thought about this book is "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."

medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: No
challenging dark slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: No
Loveable characters: No
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Lindsay Straube, you are the reason I drink. You are the reason I live to forget.
adventurous dark emotional tense slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes
dark mysterious tense medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: No
Loveable characters: No
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Where to begin. This was more of an experience than an enjoyable read. 

Was this a good story? Not really.
Was the FMC likeable? No. 
Was the MMC? Even more no. 
Could I put it down? Unfortunately, no.

This book was not what I was expecting. Yes, it was, as described, smut filled with plot. I liked the plot, I did. But I would have liked it a WHOLE LOT MORE if there were completed storyline’s, less contradictions, and a whole lot more realism. Which, I know, asking for realism in a book about basilisk smut is asking a lot, but still. 

Let’s get into the characters. 

Tem. God, pick a personality. It’s like the author could not decide if she was a strong independent woman taking control of her situation, or if she was an insecure, jealous girl. And GIRL. WHY ARE YOU NOT DYING OF DEHYDRATION?! Every instance that this woman was offered a liquid, she chose whisky. Or cum, tbh. But NEVER water. And with the amount of bodily fluids running down her thighs at any given point in this book, I am shocked she even got to a point where the king almost killed her. She should have died way before that. 

Caspen. Not for me. He isn’t even close to my definition of a book boyfriend. He was highly manipulative, didn’t respect her boundaries, and kinda did whatever the fuck he wanted and distracted Tem with sex to get his way. Also, the plot is that he was training her to sleep with the prince, but then got mad at her when she actually went to do so? What? THAT’S THE PREMIS, MY GUY. 
I also did not buy into their relationship. You saw her once and decided she was the love of her life? You made her a mind controlled semen claw for her to insert herself and keep inside her at all times so you could draw on her power? Is that love? 
Also, his constant secrets and not filling her in killed me. Why slyly propose to someone if you know the only way they can wed you is by having them sleep with your father in a voyeuristic sex marathon? THAT SHE DID NOT EVEN NEED TO COMPLETE BECAUSE SHE IS PART BASILISK.

Leo. The only redeemable character for me. THIS is guy she should have ended up with. And his scenes were, in my opinion, the only good smut scenes in the book. All I wanted was for him to get his freedom and his ability to choose. In the end, he couldn’t even have that. Speaking of the end? World’s worst ending. No. NO. 

Some of my biggest issues?
- Why the fuck, after 500 pages, do I still not know what a basilisk looks like? I swear there was no description at all
- What happened to her father and the bloodletting?
- How did the human king not just off her? That would have been the most realistic ending here. She got away with far too much. 

Now, we must talk about The Ritual. What. The. Fuck. The fact that Caspen let this happen at all is wild to me. He knew it technically didn’t need to, but still allowed her to have sex with his father, and then have what I can only imagine was 6 hours of non-stop sex with him whilst all the other basilisks stroke her body? Hm. Dunno man. And to cap it all off, broke her pelvis. TORE UP HER INSIDES AND BROKE HER PELVIS. But not only that, healed her AND THEN HAD SEX IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE TRAUMA INDUCING SEX MARATHON. Nah. I don’t buy it. No one is that horny. Ever. 

Also, weird take, but the fact that anal or any kind of ass play wasn’t included is probably the strangest thing about this book 😅

Second also… why did I like the authors Fanfic at the end of the book more than I liked the entire book?


Overall, would I recommend? Still, probably yes. Only so I can have talks with people about it. 

I must say though, I need a smut break. This was too much.
adventurous challenging hopeful mysterious medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated