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3.54 AVERAGE
3.54 AVERAGE
I'm having trouble finding where to start. I had low expectations and unfortunatley, Adornetto met those expectations. There were absurd elements in this story that made me laugh and shake my head. The characters were, well, annoying. Apart from Gabriel and Michael; I kinda sorta liked their stoicism. I had fun imagining what Michael looked like, but that's beside the point. The most infuriating aspect of this book was Bethany. I am so upset I can't even gather my thoughts about her. I get it, she's an angel and therefore doesn't know a thing about anything human. In my humble opinion, I would have thought Heaven would have sent down angels who knew what they were getting themselves into, not a naive girl child whose reckless compassion would obviously endanger their mission at times. She's an angel, she's find...FINE! But could she at least have a clue?! Gabriel and Ivy, they were exactly as I expected angels to be: vigilant, strong, INTELLIGENT (albeit a little aloof, but then again they do not experience emotion as humans do). Which brings me to my next point: WHYYY does Bethany have the capability to fall in love a human when it is perceived as impossible for Gabriel and Ivy? It is something they cannot possible conceive, which made me laugh out loud when Molly declared herself to Gabriel, to which he basically said no (good thing, too, because if Adornetto had made it that Gabriel shared Molly's feelings and returned said love, I would have flung the book out the window, not caring if it hit some casual bystander or other such obstacles). And I did have frequent yearnings to fling said book but it is my experience as a professional reader that I was able to control my incredulity and downright cold fury and actually finish reading this farcical published work.
SMH. I sigh into the coldness of the room in which I sit typing this, not actually believing that I spent precious reading time on this book. Let me be understood: Bethany is like a gnat that refuses to go away. More to the point, I kept wanting her to grow a brain but she insisted on remaining a half wit and falling into the same snares that Jake is known for, EVEN THOUGH she had previous experience with his sliminess and all-around dark nature. Ergo, when she continued to exhibit general naivete and went on and on and on about Xavier this and Xavier that and his chest is so muscular and his hair is so walnutty and his eyes are so this and his hands are so that and my love my love my love. WE GET IT. Allow me to continue: Jake won't hurt me right? But what if he does? Will Heaven forgive me? Maybe I should trust him; he does seem sincere but who does he think he is?! I won't sleep with him! How naive does he think I am?! (A lot, actually; he's counting on it).
Look, I love a good read that will allow me to suspend my disbelief. Adornetto, apparently, thinks I'm an idiot. No, Adornetto, that is your main character. As a reader, I am offended. That's about how I can sum it up. Nice cliff hanger, by the way. I'm shaking in my boots. Over this. On to the next.
SMH. I sigh into the coldness of the room in which I sit typing this, not actually believing that I spent precious reading time on this book. Let me be understood: Bethany is like a gnat that refuses to go away. More to the point, I kept wanting her to grow a brain but she insisted on remaining a half wit and falling into the same snares that Jake is known for, EVEN THOUGH she had previous experience with his sliminess and all-around dark nature. Ergo, when she continued to exhibit general naivete and went on and on and on about Xavier this and Xavier that and his chest is so muscular and his hair is so walnutty and his eyes are so this and his hands are so that and my love my love my love. WE GET IT. Allow me to continue: Jake won't hurt me right? But what if he does? Will Heaven forgive me? Maybe I should trust him; he does seem sincere but who does he think he is?! I won't sleep with him! How naive does he think I am?! (A lot, actually; he's counting on it).
Look, I love a good read that will allow me to suspend my disbelief. Adornetto, apparently, thinks I'm an idiot. No, Adornetto, that is your main character. As a reader, I am offended. That's about how I can sum it up. Nice cliff hanger, by the way. I'm shaking in my boots. Over this. On to the next.
Uaaa, co je to sakra s těmi konci? Proč mi to dělají? To je v poslední době modní trend hatit happy-endy?
I found this slow going especially the second half. There was a lot of watching and I just did not find the Jake thing convincing.I would have given it 2 1/2 but goodreads does not do 1/2 stars.
Love was in the air as Bethany and Xavier relationship grew. Bethany knew Xavier was the one, even more so after he helped save her from the demon Jake Thorn. Now as its October of their grade twelve year, and they have the whole future to think about. Which university’s to go to? What classes they are going to take? And most important to Molly: What to wear for Halloween? Bethany never celebrated Halloween and because of her group of “friends” I do not think she ever will again.
Halloween, a time for little kids to go trick-or-treating and stay up late at night. For teenagers it’s a perfect time to put on a sexy outfit and go partying. For Bethany “sexy” did not fit, so she chose to dress as an angel, compete with a set of dollar store wings. The party was held in an old abandon house in the middle of nowhere. Yet Bethany’s new friends had made it clear that Bethany and Xavier spend way too much time together. Yet when Xavier leaves to go hang with his friends, Bethany is forced into playing all the spooky games the girls want to play. Including having a séance. Now the other girls do not know this, but Bethany things summoning sprits for “fun” is a complete bad idea, especially since it does work. Yet unable to stop the girls Bethany is forced to go with them. Yet instead of summoning a simple spirit, they summon a demon whom one goal in life is to drag Bethany back to hell with him.
Now an angle in hell is not doing well. Even though she is untouchable, might even be called royalty, nothing can stop Big Daddy from getting to her. Even though she’s in hell, Bethany sticks to her rightful, caring nature that almost gets her killed. Yet to save someone she loves, she must sacrifice something to me seems unimportant, but to Bethany it is everything. Meanwhile her siblings, Xavier and an unexpected guest are trying their hardest to get to her and release her from her hellish prison. All Bethany can do is pray, and hope they can save her in time.
Alexandra Adornetto did a better job on this one than the first. In this book she developed Bethany into a strong, powerful angle, instead of the whinny pathetic angle she was in the first. Xavier develops too, as a strong and overtly loving boyfriend he was. What he does at the end is a complete shock, totally out of character for him. She even made the stone angles of Gabriel and Ivy have some human emotions in them, as they are determined to bring back their sister. Although I did not agree this book truly deserved a sequel, I’m glad it did. If you hated the first one I would tell you not to read this one, but if you did not mind the first one then please continue on reading. All we can hope is good wishes to Xavier and Bethany as they take the next step in their complicated relationship.
Halloween, a time for little kids to go trick-or-treating and stay up late at night. For teenagers it’s a perfect time to put on a sexy outfit and go partying. For Bethany “sexy” did not fit, so she chose to dress as an angel, compete with a set of dollar store wings. The party was held in an old abandon house in the middle of nowhere. Yet Bethany’s new friends had made it clear that Bethany and Xavier spend way too much time together. Yet when Xavier leaves to go hang with his friends, Bethany is forced into playing all the spooky games the girls want to play. Including having a séance. Now the other girls do not know this, but Bethany things summoning sprits for “fun” is a complete bad idea, especially since it does work. Yet unable to stop the girls Bethany is forced to go with them. Yet instead of summoning a simple spirit, they summon a demon whom one goal in life is to drag Bethany back to hell with him.
Now an angle in hell is not doing well. Even though she is untouchable, might even be called royalty, nothing can stop Big Daddy from getting to her. Even though she’s in hell, Bethany sticks to her rightful, caring nature that almost gets her killed. Yet to save someone she loves, she must sacrifice something to me seems unimportant, but to Bethany it is everything. Meanwhile her siblings, Xavier and an unexpected guest are trying their hardest to get to her and release her from her hellish prison. All Bethany can do is pray, and hope they can save her in time.
Alexandra Adornetto did a better job on this one than the first. In this book she developed Bethany into a strong, powerful angle, instead of the whinny pathetic angle she was in the first. Xavier develops too, as a strong and overtly loving boyfriend he was. What he does at the end is a complete shock, totally out of character for him. She even made the stone angles of Gabriel and Ivy have some human emotions in them, as they are determined to bring back their sister. Although I did not agree this book truly deserved a sequel, I’m glad it did. If you hated the first one I would tell you not to read this one, but if you did not mind the first one then please continue on reading. All we can hope is good wishes to Xavier and Bethany as they take the next step in their complicated relationship.
Hades the sequel to Halo was much better.
Hades Starts off with the loved up couple of Xavier and Beth becoming stronger than ever now the demon Jake has been sent back to hell. things start to go down hill with a silly game played at a halloween party that eventuates Beth's presence in Hades (hell). Jake kidnapped her away to be his own little toy. Xavier, Gabriel, Ivy and Molly fight to try and find away to bring Beth back to earth.
I liked this novel a lot more than the first, even though it follows a predictable plot the scene mostly takes part in hades that came with interesting concepts. This book also introduces more characters Tucker and Hanna, humans stuck in Hades. They brought more interest to the book for me making me enjoy the storyline much more. The book wasn't amazing but it definitely held a lot more interesting ideas of fantasy than Halo
Hades Starts off with the loved up couple of Xavier and Beth becoming stronger than ever now the demon Jake has been sent back to hell. things start to go down hill with a silly game played at a halloween party that eventuates Beth's presence in Hades (hell). Jake kidnapped her away to be his own little toy. Xavier, Gabriel, Ivy and Molly fight to try and find away to bring Beth back to earth.
I liked this novel a lot more than the first, even though it follows a predictable plot the scene mostly takes part in hades that came with interesting concepts. This book also introduces more characters Tucker and Hanna, humans stuck in Hades. They brought more interest to the book for me making me enjoy the storyline much more. The book wasn't amazing but it definitely held a lot more interesting ideas of fantasy than Halo
This is not your typical angel story, but its really well written and an amazing read. I bought the first to books at a discount book store on sale on a whim and I feel for Xav and Beth immediately and I knew I had to find the last book. Their story is so pure and sweet it shows you true love at its purest. The story also shows us human nature is in every one and all people have faults and flaws. I defiantly recommend these books to any one who loves angels and demons their a great read they truly are.
This is the second book in the Halo series, where we return to Bethany's new life on Earth as an angel incognito. It is so lovely to see her relationship with Xavier is still going strong, even if he does baby her quite a bit. Although we will forgive him, as she is beyond innocent and still coming to terms with life on Earth, her angel wings shield her from the bad things in life. However this book does see a change in behaviour from Bethany. When kidnapped and forced to live in Hades, Bethany learns to kick butt. She goes out of her way to trick the demonic but dangerously handsome Jake. She even stands up to the Big Daddy of the Underground himself. So it is really refreshing to see such a change in her character in her as the story progresses.
I love the imagery used to portray Hades. The author has created a sleek, modern, minimalistic, yet dark world full of swish hotels and dangerous nightclubs. Imagine New York at Halloween! On stepping out of the safety of the area Jake has created, Bethany realises their is a lot of evil and eternal hell going on around her, which definitely toughens up her angelic soul.
I loved how strong the relationship is between Xavier and Bethany. Yet it was rather lacking in this book, as they were apart for so long. I really do hate it when you become attached to such an intense and beautiful relationship within a book, only to have it torn apart in the sequel. I want to see more of Xavier and Bethany in the next book!
This book ended on a cliff hanger, leaving me desperate again for another sequel. *sighs*
I really do enjoy this series. I know that there are many mixed reviews about the books, but I love the innocence and purity of the characters created by the author. I do think people forget how young Alexandra Adornetto is, and I feel it is her naivety which makes this series so beautiful. I wish I could have written books like this when I was her age.
If you like your angels pure and your romance innocent, then this is definitely the series for you.
I love the imagery used to portray Hades. The author has created a sleek, modern, minimalistic, yet dark world full of swish hotels and dangerous nightclubs. Imagine New York at Halloween! On stepping out of the safety of the area Jake has created, Bethany realises their is a lot of evil and eternal hell going on around her, which definitely toughens up her angelic soul.
I loved how strong the relationship is between Xavier and Bethany. Yet it was rather lacking in this book, as they were apart for so long. I really do hate it when you become attached to such an intense and beautiful relationship within a book, only to have it torn apart in the sequel. I want to see more of Xavier and Bethany in the next book!
This book ended on a cliff hanger, leaving me desperate again for another sequel. *sighs*
I really do enjoy this series. I know that there are many mixed reviews about the books, but I love the innocence and purity of the characters created by the author. I do think people forget how young Alexandra Adornetto is, and I feel it is her naivety which makes this series so beautiful. I wish I could have written books like this when I was her age.
If you like your angels pure and your romance innocent, then this is definitely the series for you.
Hades, the sequel to Halo, was a good book. I would honestly consider it better than Halo, but there is something that has always bothered me about this book. Okay, it's Xander. I'm sorry, but he's perfect! I'm telling the truth: no flaws. Completely, annoyingly perfect. How many sports is he in? Like, 6? And he's STILL valedictorian? What!?
Other than that, I did enjoy Halo. I much prefer Jake's wonderful yummy flaw-ed-ness to Xander's perfection. The perception of Hell--or, Hades, as Jake prefers to call it--was interesting. Some of Bethany's "visits" back to Earth grew to be a little lengthy considering she's just a bystander, but I understand that this was important to the story.
If you've read Halo and like it, I would for sure recommend Hades. Even if you thought Halo was ooookaaay, try to read through Hades. Keep in mind that it doesn't really pick up until chapter five, but after that the story takes off.
Other than that, I did enjoy Halo. I much prefer Jake's wonderful yummy flaw-ed-ness to Xander's perfection. The perception of Hell--or, Hades, as Jake prefers to call it--was interesting. Some of Bethany's "visits" back to Earth grew to be a little lengthy considering she's just a bystander, but I understand that this was important to the story.
If you've read Halo and like it, I would for sure recommend Hades. Even if you thought Halo was ooookaaay, try to read through Hades. Keep in mind that it doesn't really pick up until chapter five, but after that the story takes off.
This review has been HEAVILY CUT! Read the full one on my blog- Here!
Halo, the young adult para-ro angel series, not the shooty alien video game, is really, really bad. I know: controversial, bold, visionary. When I read Halo, the first book in the trilogy, it was a torturous experience of one really bad angel and pages of absolutely nothing.
Believe it or not, Hades is about a very bad angel and pages of pure filler, but also it has the gall to call Lucifer ‘Big Daddy’, two characters earnestly named the ‘Door Bitches’, and makes quasi-love interest/evil villain Jake Thorn a literal Nazi.
It’s more interesting to read, at least. Gripping, actually, since at many points there was so much insanity going on that I refused to put down the book to eat or socialize. I needed to figure out if Jake Thorn was getting a redemption arc or not. I had to reach chapter twenty one, titled ‘Big Daddy’. I desperately, single-mindedly, craved B I G D A D D Y.
Plot
Bethany, the newest angel on the block, is deeply in love with her perfect boyfriend Xavier. Her high school friends ever question if she’s too codependent- when quizzed, she only likes a majority of things simply because Xavier likes them, and knows every part of his day to minute detail. If this early lead in to questioning their over-protective, codependent relationship gives you any hope, kill it now. The message of this book is perhaps that they are not codependent enough.
At a Halloween party, Beth’s friends throw a seance, which concerns her since demons and ghosts are totally real. She doesn’t stop them because she doesn’t want to be a buzzkill, and participates, in a scene where somehow a group of girls are holding hands in a circle and having a hand on the planchette for their ouija board. “Even someone who’d never seen a Ouija
board before couldn’t miss its association with the dark arts,” the narrative remarks on the toy trademarked by Hasbro, first invented in 1980. The seance goes spooky, allowing JAKE THORN to escape from Hell. He tricks Bethany onto climbing on a motorbike with him, pretending to be another boy and saying Xavier was injured at a nearby lake. Jake then takes her to Hell, via the highway of course.
Beth is needlessly confused by this development- parts of her memory is blocked, but she can remember Jake Thorn, the demon, and the highway opening up with a deep fissure, and falling…. but where is she?? She has no idea. She’s in a dark, smokey underground land at the foot of a nighclub named Pride, where two goths (“You wanna know who we are, doll face?” she asked. “We’re the door bitches.”) regard Jake with respect as a ‘prince’ and tease Beth. The club is strange, full of more goths and seems to lead to an underground tunnelscape of more night clubs and soulless humans. But where ever could Beth be?!?! After asking everyone, constantly, she is finally told she’s in Hell, or Hades as Jake Thorn insists it should be called, and instantly faints.
She stays in a luxurious suite while in Hell, where she learns Jake Thorn has taken her to be his future bride. He’s very insistent she can have whatever she wants and live a life of lovely luxury, as long she just gives up on Xavier and her angel siblings. Her only thought is to escape from these sinful demons, and finds two allies among the captured souls: Hanna, a teenage maid, and Tucker, a boy without a personality but with a heavy southern accent. The next new character is Asia, a fabulous stereotype of a jealous, slutty demon who is in love with Jake Thorn and has lots of sex. She is the only non white character to feature in this trilogy so far.
It takes well over fifty percent of the book for anything to happen beyond the inciting incident, of Beth going to Hell- she gains the power to astral project, leading to much of the book being Beth watches scenes on Earth with Xavier, her friend Molly, and her angel siblings. On Earth the gang is trying to think of how to rescue Beth, but has absolutely no ideas, and isn’t getting any help from Heaven or the other angels. They’re eventually sent to a neighboring state to exorcise a nun, at which point Archangel Michael lends them a divine sword of solving-all-your-problems so they can break into Hell.
Beth is inducted in a strange ceremony where Jake makes her face a crowd of doomed souls, a pedophile priest puts a crown on her head, and he instructs everyone to treat Beth as a princess of Hell. She hates this and sends an orb of light out of her body, which turns into a butterfly. This is so scandalous she must be punished, and the eight fallen angels who rule Hell (of which Jake is one) have a meeting with Lucifer, where it’s determined Beth should burn at the stake. This doesn’t work, so they throw her in a jail cell for a few days. Jake breaks her out, but is jealous she still loves Xavier, so Jake teleports to Earth to throw him off a cliff. Beth makes a deal to save his life in exchange for having sex with him. Jake takes her to a honeymoon cave, they nearly have sex, and Xavier drives a car through a cave wall and saves the day.
In the epilogue, Xavier ditches high school graduation with Beth to propose to her, and then reveals he plans to immediately marry her at the local church. Thunder rattles ominously.
JAKE THORN 2: JAKE-R, (T)HORNIER
This book is about absolutely nothing, but after that it’s about Jake Thorn. Jake (I am tempted to only call him Jake Thorn, his stupid last name amuses me, but it’s a pain to always type) is weird. He was always a bizarre character in this generic YA para-ro tale, but Hades has gone to prove Halo was never that generic. The word instead we’re looking for, it turns out, is Christian. I explained last review that Jake is treated sort of as a love interest, but also as a vile villain, and this book still seems oddly torn. Jake is the villain: he kidnaps Beth, he’s killed people (and friends), he’s threatened rape and nearly does rape her, and he’s a supreme creep. Yet the writing does not tend to reflect this.
For one, the book (or Beth, I suppose) reminds us frequently of how attractive he is, his pale skin and beautiful hair. It’s not done as some sort of contrast to his attractiveness versus his rotten interior, it’s just a reminder that’s he’s really hot. The story itself only shows, increasingly, how much Jake is a villain- yet many times in the narrative Beth finds comfort in him, sees sadness in his eyes or pities how he longs for love. She rarely finds herself disgusted, though it is true she never has a moment where she likes him.
What I’m trying to explain is that much of Jake Thorn is obviously written as a love interest, the other side of a love triangle. Love triangles are such a staple of YA in this era, and are very formulaic in terms of character types. Last book, before he became entirely deprived, Jake fit the mold much more: he was sensitive, liked poetry, was dark and broody and mysterious. In any other generic story, he would be the temptation towards darkness that throws our heroine’s heart aflutter as she deals with her complex feelings, if this bad boy can ever be redeemed…
This book is not generic. It is Christian. Because of this, when Jake Thorn enters the picture last book, it is after Beth and Xavier have said their ‘I love you’s’ and are thus cemented as endgame. Jake stands no chance in Beth’s heart, and never did. Further more, he is a demon, and demons are bad- no aspect of him can be redeemable, savable, or tempting, because he is a demon, and this is a book about christian morality.
Identity Politicking
Hi there! Jake Thorn is a nazi. Literally.
This book teaches us a lot about Jake Thorn: he’s a whiney entitled baby, he’s been alive since the dawn of time, he’s a nazi… the lore is frankly over-flowing.
Anyways, I need to talk to you about one segment of this book, about 100 pages in, which shocked me to my core. Here are my notes: YOU CANNOT DO THIS IN YOUR YA PARA-RO NOVEL! YOU CANNOT!!!
Beth talks to her shy Hell maid, Hanna, about Hanna’s life as a human and how she wound up here. It starts very alarmingly: ‘It starts in Buchenwald’. You and the angel Beth may just be on the same page in your reply: ‘The concentration camp?’. But there are more twists ahead. You see, not only is our christian angel para-ro YA novel taking us to Nazi Germany and the holocaust, it’s taking us to the other side. Hanna was a Hitler Youth.
Which, actually, was an all-boys group, but you can’t ask the author google more than one fact before she vomits up the rest of this book. So Hanna, friend-maid Hanna, was a nazi teen working in a concentration camp to help the guards. She expresses she knows times were bad and what was going on (y’know, genocide?) but also that her family was poor and she was planning to leave soon. Hanna ‘I was just following orders’ Whateverherlastnameis.
One day Hanna sees an old childhood friend of hers, who Hanna helpfully calls ‘a Jew’ (for those missing the point here, ‘Jew’ has notably been used derogatorily, esp by nazis, so you should use ‘is Jewish’ or ‘Jewish person’). Old friend is in the camp and getting sicker. Hanna doesn’t want to show her face to old friend lest she be judged. Hanna meets a Nazi officer, Jake Thorn, who says he can help old friend. He reveals he works for ‘a higher master’ and if she made a deal she would be rewarded with everlasting life for her loyalty. Aka, a soul sell.
She accepts the deal. Jake Thorn (through magic? Why can Fallen Angels do this?) cures old friend’s illness. However, as Hanna bitterly notes, this does nothing to change the fact old friend in two weeks time is taken to the gas chambers.
You cannot do this! You just can’t!!! I’ve mentioned Jake is the villain, not a love interest, but I’ve also pointed out the narrative is sometimes muddled on how to treat him. His past as a Nazi, during the holocaust, is not mentioned again, nor is it a point of any horror for Beth. Beth focuses more on the fact he tricked Hanna by saving her friend only to let her die, rather than any acknowledgement of the holocaust. The Goddamn Holocaust. To bring that into your stupid YA novel is absolutely offensive. It’s actually worse to make it such a minor detail, Hanna’s tragic backstory of betrayal and a lost soul rather than…. the holocaust!!! It absolutely is belittling to the many, many lives lost. It’s even belittling to old friend, there as a prop for Hanna’s sad growth.
On another spectrum of offense, I vaguely mentioned this earlier, but I want to talk about Asia. Asia is the only not white character we’ve seen in the Halo universe, despite the book series taking place in Georgia, a state in the south which has a heavy black population. Asia is black- her skin, every time it is mentioned, is ‘chocolate’ or ‘coffee’ colored. She is bitchy and jealous- Jake’s ‘very personal assistant’ who pines after him. Though of course, Jake is lovesick for Beth, her pure angel soul, not caring at all for Asia.
Poor Asia. She wears halter tops or strips down to black underwear, having sex with strangers for information without a thought, talking sometimes with a slight accent. A lot of sass, a lot of wildness, a whole lotta racism.
I don’t know how clear I have to be about what racism is and why it’s bad, but Asia obviously stands as a stereotype of a sexually promiscuous black woman who only cares for sex, and is mean but jealous of pure, good, christian (white) girls. It’s always a problem when a world only features white people, but I just knew the moment there’s be someone who wasn’t, it was going to end poorly. This is a world too where beauty is very much in the skin: the white-ness, golden-ness, shining-ness of our heroes’ skin is frequent, always linked to their beauty. The demons are called beautiful themselves, in an evil way, but when Beth peers at them she sees in reality they are ugly: misshapen, missing hair and teeth, gross looking people. YA literature even to this day has such a problem with beauty, and how ugliness (and god forbid, a-normal facial features) is evil. It’s really concerning.
Poor Asia, too, yet another side character just here to be disrespected. And she’s also entirely in the right the entire book. She points out how Jake has been obsessing over Beth, how foolish he’s acting, how Beth needs to get out. This is all very true, but Asia is still just a rude, evil, non-person to the story.
BIG DADDY’S BACK IN TOWN
Okay, I did tell you Lucifer was called Big Daddy, right? Okay. Good.
This fact is introduced casually. “When Big Daddy fell from Grace…” A character starts. Beth questions this, and the character reveals “Well, I suppose you’d call him Satan or Lucifer,” like that explains anything.
All the demons in Hell, all eight of the fallen angels who fell with Lucifer in the rebellion, all the human thralls- they all call Satan ‘Big Daddy’ without an ounce of irony. I don’t like that.
Jake’s childishness is brought out to the extreme when Lucifer gets directly involved. After Beth creates a butterfly out of light in public, the other fallen call a council to decide Beth’s fate, as bringing hope and light into Hell is an unforgivable crime. Lucifer intercedes. I should note this whole meeting is for some reason in a grimy abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Hell.
Lucifer wears a white suit with a red tie. He carries an ivory tipped cane, and wears embroidered cowboy boots. His skin is weather-beaten and leathery. He looks slightly old, weird for an angel, but Beth concludes evil makes you age. His silver hair is tied back in a ponytail. He doesn’t sound it, but Beth concludes he’s kinda overall still hot.
Lucifer is so hard to pin down as a character in this book, but he sure does fall himself ‘Daddy’ in the third person. The other fallen call him ‘father’, an odd take considering the fallen were his followers into Hell, more like word buddies if anything else. Yet another reason not to do crime with your coworkers: the ringleader does legally become your parent at the end of it.
Jake demands he get to keep Beth, saying she’s his, she’s young, he’ll smooth everything over. Lucifer denies this, acting a lot like a dad preventing a toddler from buying a toy. There’s something pseudo-sexual about the whole BIG DADDY thing, like he’s a mix of their father and sugar daddy. Of course, the origin of the daddy complex is simply that god in Heaven is called ‘Father’, and Lucifer fancies himself a false, better god. The use of daddy presumably shows the demons are far more casual and profane.
CONCLUSION
Hades is interesting. It really is, despite being full of nothing. Somehow that boringness is easy to slog through. Despite the long tangents, the plot has so many odd choices it’s hard to put the book down. It’s the perfect storm of stupid and offensive, an utterly pointless book that adds a lot of fantasy to the world by making an absolute mess.
Halo, the young adult para-ro angel series, not the shooty alien video game, is really, really bad. I know: controversial, bold, visionary. When I read Halo, the first book in the trilogy, it was a torturous experience of one really bad angel and pages of absolutely nothing.
Believe it or not, Hades is about a very bad angel and pages of pure filler, but also it has the gall to call Lucifer ‘Big Daddy’, two characters earnestly named the ‘Door Bitches’, and makes quasi-love interest/evil villain Jake Thorn a literal Nazi.
It’s more interesting to read, at least. Gripping, actually, since at many points there was so much insanity going on that I refused to put down the book to eat or socialize. I needed to figure out if Jake Thorn was getting a redemption arc or not. I had to reach chapter twenty one, titled ‘Big Daddy’. I desperately, single-mindedly, craved B I G D A D D Y.
Plot
Bethany, the newest angel on the block, is deeply in love with her perfect boyfriend Xavier. Her high school friends ever question if she’s too codependent- when quizzed, she only likes a majority of things simply because Xavier likes them, and knows every part of his day to minute detail. If this early lead in to questioning their over-protective, codependent relationship gives you any hope, kill it now. The message of this book is perhaps that they are not codependent enough.
At a Halloween party, Beth’s friends throw a seance, which concerns her since demons and ghosts are totally real. She doesn’t stop them because she doesn’t want to be a buzzkill, and participates, in a scene where somehow a group of girls are holding hands in a circle and having a hand on the planchette for their ouija board. “Even someone who’d never seen a Ouija
board before couldn’t miss its association with the dark arts,” the narrative remarks on the toy trademarked by Hasbro, first invented in 1980. The seance goes spooky, allowing JAKE THORN to escape from Hell. He tricks Bethany onto climbing on a motorbike with him, pretending to be another boy and saying Xavier was injured at a nearby lake. Jake then takes her to Hell, via the highway of course.
Beth is needlessly confused by this development- parts of her memory is blocked, but she can remember Jake Thorn, the demon, and the highway opening up with a deep fissure, and falling…. but where is she?? She has no idea. She’s in a dark, smokey underground land at the foot of a nighclub named Pride, where two goths (“You wanna know who we are, doll face?” she asked. “We’re the door bitches.”) regard Jake with respect as a ‘prince’ and tease Beth. The club is strange, full of more goths and seems to lead to an underground tunnelscape of more night clubs and soulless humans. But where ever could Beth be?!?! After asking everyone, constantly, she is finally told she’s in Hell, or Hades as Jake Thorn insists it should be called, and instantly faints.
She stays in a luxurious suite while in Hell, where she learns Jake Thorn has taken her to be his future bride. He’s very insistent she can have whatever she wants and live a life of lovely luxury, as long she just gives up on Xavier and her angel siblings. Her only thought is to escape from these sinful demons, and finds two allies among the captured souls: Hanna, a teenage maid, and Tucker, a boy without a personality but with a heavy southern accent. The next new character is Asia, a fabulous stereotype of a jealous, slutty demon who is in love with Jake Thorn and has lots of sex. She is the only non white character to feature in this trilogy so far.
It takes well over fifty percent of the book for anything to happen beyond the inciting incident, of Beth going to Hell- she gains the power to astral project, leading to much of the book being Beth watches scenes on Earth with Xavier, her friend Molly, and her angel siblings. On Earth the gang is trying to think of how to rescue Beth, but has absolutely no ideas, and isn’t getting any help from Heaven or the other angels. They’re eventually sent to a neighboring state to exorcise a nun, at which point Archangel Michael lends them a divine sword of solving-all-your-problems so they can break into Hell.
Beth is inducted in a strange ceremony where Jake makes her face a crowd of doomed souls, a pedophile priest puts a crown on her head, and he instructs everyone to treat Beth as a princess of Hell. She hates this and sends an orb of light out of her body, which turns into a butterfly. This is so scandalous she must be punished, and the eight fallen angels who rule Hell (of which Jake is one) have a meeting with Lucifer, where it’s determined Beth should burn at the stake. This doesn’t work, so they throw her in a jail cell for a few days. Jake breaks her out, but is jealous she still loves Xavier, so Jake teleports to Earth to throw him off a cliff. Beth makes a deal to save his life in exchange for having sex with him. Jake takes her to a honeymoon cave, they nearly have sex, and Xavier drives a car through a cave wall and saves the day.
In the epilogue, Xavier ditches high school graduation with Beth to propose to her, and then reveals he plans to immediately marry her at the local church. Thunder rattles ominously.
JAKE THORN 2: JAKE-R, (T)HORNIER
This book is about absolutely nothing, but after that it’s about Jake Thorn. Jake (I am tempted to only call him Jake Thorn, his stupid last name amuses me, but it’s a pain to always type) is weird. He was always a bizarre character in this generic YA para-ro tale, but Hades has gone to prove Halo was never that generic. The word instead we’re looking for, it turns out, is Christian. I explained last review that Jake is treated sort of as a love interest, but also as a vile villain, and this book still seems oddly torn. Jake is the villain: he kidnaps Beth, he’s killed people (and friends), he’s threatened rape and nearly does rape her, and he’s a supreme creep. Yet the writing does not tend to reflect this.
For one, the book (or Beth, I suppose) reminds us frequently of how attractive he is, his pale skin and beautiful hair. It’s not done as some sort of contrast to his attractiveness versus his rotten interior, it’s just a reminder that’s he’s really hot. The story itself only shows, increasingly, how much Jake is a villain- yet many times in the narrative Beth finds comfort in him, sees sadness in his eyes or pities how he longs for love. She rarely finds herself disgusted, though it is true she never has a moment where she likes him.
What I’m trying to explain is that much of Jake Thorn is obviously written as a love interest, the other side of a love triangle. Love triangles are such a staple of YA in this era, and are very formulaic in terms of character types. Last book, before he became entirely deprived, Jake fit the mold much more: he was sensitive, liked poetry, was dark and broody and mysterious. In any other generic story, he would be the temptation towards darkness that throws our heroine’s heart aflutter as she deals with her complex feelings, if this bad boy can ever be redeemed…
This book is not generic. It is Christian. Because of this, when Jake Thorn enters the picture last book, it is after Beth and Xavier have said their ‘I love you’s’ and are thus cemented as endgame. Jake stands no chance in Beth’s heart, and never did. Further more, he is a demon, and demons are bad- no aspect of him can be redeemable, savable, or tempting, because he is a demon, and this is a book about christian morality.
Identity Politicking
Hi there! Jake Thorn is a nazi. Literally.
This book teaches us a lot about Jake Thorn: he’s a whiney entitled baby, he’s been alive since the dawn of time, he’s a nazi… the lore is frankly over-flowing.
Anyways, I need to talk to you about one segment of this book, about 100 pages in, which shocked me to my core. Here are my notes: YOU CANNOT DO THIS IN YOUR YA PARA-RO NOVEL! YOU CANNOT!!!
Beth talks to her shy Hell maid, Hanna, about Hanna’s life as a human and how she wound up here. It starts very alarmingly: ‘It starts in Buchenwald’. You and the angel Beth may just be on the same page in your reply: ‘The concentration camp?’. But there are more twists ahead. You see, not only is our christian angel para-ro YA novel taking us to Nazi Germany and the holocaust, it’s taking us to the other side. Hanna was a Hitler Youth.
Which, actually, was an all-boys group, but you can’t ask the author google more than one fact before she vomits up the rest of this book. So Hanna, friend-maid Hanna, was a nazi teen working in a concentration camp to help the guards. She expresses she knows times were bad and what was going on (y’know, genocide?) but also that her family was poor and she was planning to leave soon. Hanna ‘I was just following orders’ Whateverherlastnameis.
One day Hanna sees an old childhood friend of hers, who Hanna helpfully calls ‘a Jew’ (for those missing the point here, ‘Jew’ has notably been used derogatorily, esp by nazis, so you should use ‘is Jewish’ or ‘Jewish person’). Old friend is in the camp and getting sicker. Hanna doesn’t want to show her face to old friend lest she be judged. Hanna meets a Nazi officer, Jake Thorn, who says he can help old friend. He reveals he works for ‘a higher master’ and if she made a deal she would be rewarded with everlasting life for her loyalty. Aka, a soul sell.
She accepts the deal. Jake Thorn (through magic? Why can Fallen Angels do this?) cures old friend’s illness. However, as Hanna bitterly notes, this does nothing to change the fact old friend in two weeks time is taken to the gas chambers.
You cannot do this! You just can’t!!! I’ve mentioned Jake is the villain, not a love interest, but I’ve also pointed out the narrative is sometimes muddled on how to treat him. His past as a Nazi, during the holocaust, is not mentioned again, nor is it a point of any horror for Beth. Beth focuses more on the fact he tricked Hanna by saving her friend only to let her die, rather than any acknowledgement of the holocaust. The Goddamn Holocaust. To bring that into your stupid YA novel is absolutely offensive. It’s actually worse to make it such a minor detail, Hanna’s tragic backstory of betrayal and a lost soul rather than…. the holocaust!!! It absolutely is belittling to the many, many lives lost. It’s even belittling to old friend, there as a prop for Hanna’s sad growth.
On another spectrum of offense, I vaguely mentioned this earlier, but I want to talk about Asia. Asia is the only not white character we’ve seen in the Halo universe, despite the book series taking place in Georgia, a state in the south which has a heavy black population. Asia is black- her skin, every time it is mentioned, is ‘chocolate’ or ‘coffee’ colored. She is bitchy and jealous- Jake’s ‘very personal assistant’ who pines after him. Though of course, Jake is lovesick for Beth, her pure angel soul, not caring at all for Asia.
Poor Asia. She wears halter tops or strips down to black underwear, having sex with strangers for information without a thought, talking sometimes with a slight accent. A lot of sass, a lot of wildness, a whole lotta racism.
I don’t know how clear I have to be about what racism is and why it’s bad, but Asia obviously stands as a stereotype of a sexually promiscuous black woman who only cares for sex, and is mean but jealous of pure, good, christian (white) girls. It’s always a problem when a world only features white people, but I just knew the moment there’s be someone who wasn’t, it was going to end poorly. This is a world too where beauty is very much in the skin: the white-ness, golden-ness, shining-ness of our heroes’ skin is frequent, always linked to their beauty. The demons are called beautiful themselves, in an evil way, but when Beth peers at them she sees in reality they are ugly: misshapen, missing hair and teeth, gross looking people. YA literature even to this day has such a problem with beauty, and how ugliness (and god forbid, a-normal facial features) is evil. It’s really concerning.
Poor Asia, too, yet another side character just here to be disrespected. And she’s also entirely in the right the entire book. She points out how Jake has been obsessing over Beth, how foolish he’s acting, how Beth needs to get out. This is all very true, but Asia is still just a rude, evil, non-person to the story.
BIG DADDY’S BACK IN TOWN
Okay, I did tell you Lucifer was called Big Daddy, right? Okay. Good.
This fact is introduced casually. “When Big Daddy fell from Grace…” A character starts. Beth questions this, and the character reveals “Well, I suppose you’d call him Satan or Lucifer,” like that explains anything.
All the demons in Hell, all eight of the fallen angels who fell with Lucifer in the rebellion, all the human thralls- they all call Satan ‘Big Daddy’ without an ounce of irony. I don’t like that.
Jake’s childishness is brought out to the extreme when Lucifer gets directly involved. After Beth creates a butterfly out of light in public, the other fallen call a council to decide Beth’s fate, as bringing hope and light into Hell is an unforgivable crime. Lucifer intercedes. I should note this whole meeting is for some reason in a grimy abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Hell.
Lucifer wears a white suit with a red tie. He carries an ivory tipped cane, and wears embroidered cowboy boots. His skin is weather-beaten and leathery. He looks slightly old, weird for an angel, but Beth concludes evil makes you age. His silver hair is tied back in a ponytail. He doesn’t sound it, but Beth concludes he’s kinda overall still hot.
Lucifer is so hard to pin down as a character in this book, but he sure does fall himself ‘Daddy’ in the third person. The other fallen call him ‘father’, an odd take considering the fallen were his followers into Hell, more like word buddies if anything else. Yet another reason not to do crime with your coworkers: the ringleader does legally become your parent at the end of it.
Jake demands he get to keep Beth, saying she’s his, she’s young, he’ll smooth everything over. Lucifer denies this, acting a lot like a dad preventing a toddler from buying a toy. There’s something pseudo-sexual about the whole BIG DADDY thing, like he’s a mix of their father and sugar daddy. Of course, the origin of the daddy complex is simply that god in Heaven is called ‘Father’, and Lucifer fancies himself a false, better god. The use of daddy presumably shows the demons are far more casual and profane.
CONCLUSION
Hades is interesting. It really is, despite being full of nothing. Somehow that boringness is easy to slog through. Despite the long tangents, the plot has so many odd choices it’s hard to put the book down. It’s the perfect storm of stupid and offensive, an utterly pointless book that adds a lot of fantasy to the world by making an absolute mess.