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kia_y_k's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Ableism, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Cursing, and Sexual content
Minor: Sexual content, Drug use, Infidelity, Addiction, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Body shaming, and Drug abuse
rory_o_rama's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
There was so much I loved about this book.
The writing style reminded me of how I talk with my friends. There were many references that I knew - both the overlap of my tastes and the right time for these references to feel relevant. Not just because of their chronological context, but more the level of importance those cultural touchstones have for me at this point in time.
Then there was an actual messy queer relationship - this book highlights that we deserve representation across a variety of circumstances. Queer relationships do not have to be perfect, and our media should reflect that.
I also enjoyed the questions O’Connell poses in the way we view disability. I’ve been around different disabilities my whole life - as well as finding later in life diagnoses for myself - but it was so refreshing to read something that encouraged the reader to consider their own exposure to disability whilst presenting one example of what that might look like.
The writing style reminded me of how I talk with my friends. There were many references that I knew - both the overlap of my tastes and the right time for these references to feel relevant. Not just because of their chronological context, but more the level of importance those cultural touchstones have for me at this point in time.
Then there was an actual messy queer relationship - this book highlights that we deserve representation across a variety of circumstances. Queer relationships do not have to be perfect, and our media should reflect that.
I also enjoyed the questions O’Connell poses in the way we view disability. I’ve been around different disabilities my whole life - as well as finding later in life diagnoses for myself - but it was so refreshing to read something that encouraged the reader to consider their own exposure to disability whilst presenting one example of what that might look like.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism and Sexual content
Moderate: Infidelity
Minor: Drug use and Ableism
criticalgayze's review against another edition
funny
hopeful
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
My thanks to Atria Books for both a digital copy of this book through Netgalley and a physical copy for review consideration.
Let me start this review with a readerly tip: When an author tells you how to read their book, listen to them.
I started this one in little snippets when I could get them during off time at a conference, and I was really not vibing with the book at all. I found it forced and inauthentic. When I got home, I sat with it for a more concentrated window, and I found myself vibing with it and genuinely enjoyed the storytelling. That's when a lightbulb went off in my head, and I realized, "Oh, O'Connell wrote short chapters on purpose to propel the reader, and this is a story that's meant to be devoured." So take my advice and binge read this book.
This book is really funny and full of a lot of charm. It is clear why O'Connell's storytelling in shows like Special and Queer As Folk has been so endearing to audiences. Also, as July is Disability Pride Month, I think it's important to highlight the important anti-ableist messaging he shoves in here. Make sure you are always confronting the biases you've internalized.
My one gripe with the book is that it gets a little overly earnest at the end. I get that it is very important to confront your addictions and divorce yourself from enabling relationships. However, at the risk of sounding like an alcoholic, the staunch sobriety message that O'Connell takes us on to round out this narrative feels a tad preachy.
TL;DR - A tad over-earnest, but incredibly charming
Quotes:
How strange that we can saw off certain parts of ourselves, so we remain confident in one area, an area that is challenging for other, only to feel completely honest in another. (42)
I depended on the validation of my coworkers, and when I didn't get that, it threw me off my axis and took away my superpower, which is disarming people and winning their approval. If I wasn't the laser-focused perfectionist perpetually triumphing over something, who was I? (126)
Devon never became a successful writer, but he does ad copy in Portland and lives with his husband, named Jarrett. We follow each other on Instagram. Last week I "liked" a picture of him kayaking, and he wrote, "congrats!" on an Instagram post about my career. What can I say? Modern life is hell. (149)
I'm learning the more you want things, the more likely you end up with nothing. (197)
Let me start this review with a readerly tip: When an author tells you how to read their book, listen to them.
I started this one in little snippets when I could get them during off time at a conference, and I was really not vibing with the book at all. I found it forced and inauthentic. When I got home, I sat with it for a more concentrated window, and I found myself vibing with it and genuinely enjoyed the storytelling. That's when a lightbulb went off in my head, and I realized, "Oh, O'Connell wrote short chapters on purpose to propel the reader, and this is a story that's meant to be devoured." So take my advice and binge read this book.
This book is really funny and full of a lot of charm. It is clear why O'Connell's storytelling in shows like Special and Queer As Folk has been so endearing to audiences. Also, as July is Disability Pride Month, I think it's important to highlight the important anti-ableist messaging he shoves in here. Make sure you are always confronting the biases you've internalized.
My one gripe with the book is that it gets a little overly earnest at the end. I get that it is very important to confront your addictions and divorce yourself from enabling relationships. However, at the risk of sounding like an alcoholic, the staunch sobriety message that O'Connell takes us on to round out this narrative feels a tad preachy.
TL;DR - A tad over-earnest, but incredibly charming
Quotes:
How strange that we can saw off certain parts of ourselves, so we remain confident in one area, an area that is challenging for other, only to feel completely honest in another. (42)
I depended on the validation of my coworkers, and when I didn't get that, it threw me off my axis and took away my superpower, which is disarming people and winning their approval. If I wasn't the laser-focused perfectionist perpetually triumphing over something, who was I? (126)
Devon never became a successful writer, but he does ad copy in Portland and lives with his husband, named Jarrett. We follow each other on Instagram. Last week I "liked" a picture of him kayaking, and he wrote, "congrats!" on an Instagram post about my career. What can I say? Modern life is hell. (149)
I'm learning the more you want things, the more likely you end up with nothing. (197)
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Sexual content, Alcohol, Alcoholism, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Body shaming and Toxic friendship
Minor: Drug use and Drug abuse
caseythereader's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
Thanks to Atria Books for the free copy of this book.
- JUST BY LOOKING AT HIM is at turns both hilarious and serious. It gives readers an unflinching look at Eliot's slide into self-hatred as he burns down his entire life piece by piece.
- I wish this book had leaned harder into the satire/absurd elements. It was there, particularly in the scenes at Eliot's job, but I don't think it went far enough.
- There were also a few passages where the main character just flat out stated the lessons learned or parallels drawn between incidents instead of trusting the reader to find it for themselves.
- All that said, I'm here for books about queer people being messy, terrible people. I'm interested to see what O'Connell writes next.
- JUST BY LOOKING AT HIM is at turns both hilarious and serious. It gives readers an unflinching look at Eliot's slide into self-hatred as he burns down his entire life piece by piece.
- I wish this book had leaned harder into the satire/absurd elements. It was there, particularly in the scenes at Eliot's job, but I don't think it went far enough.
- There were also a few passages where the main character just flat out stated the lessons learned or parallels drawn between incidents instead of trusting the reader to find it for themselves.
- All that said, I'm here for books about queer people being messy, terrible people. I'm interested to see what O'Connell writes next.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Injury/Injury detail, Medical content, Sexual content, Ableism, Addiction, Infidelity, Alcohol, Bullying, Drug use, Chronic illness, Cursing, Drug abuse, Excrement, Fatphobia, and Vomit
thewordsdevourer's review
emotional
funny
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
*Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC
Funny yet subtly dark, Just By Looking at Him is a deep dive into the trials and triumphs of its queer disabled protagonist, whose memorably acerbic and hilarious narrative voice belies a lot of vulnerabilities, and a rare exploration of a severely underrepresented subject.
This book is messy because its main character Elliott is. Living a seemingly perfect life with a great career and stable long-term relationship, but when Elliott hires a sex worker, things gradually start to unravel and he has to come to terms with his shiny-surface life that belies a lifetime of unconscious self-hatred fueled by an ableist society. With this novel, O'Connell asks: how can Elliott not be, in his own words, "seven layers of fucked up" when that is the message society has been sending his cerebral palsy-having self all his life?
Although this book deals with quite a serious subject matter, it does it all with gusto and, most endearingly, hilarity. Elliott's narrative voice and inner monologue are endlessly hilarious even in serious moments (I lost count on how many times I LOL-ed and chuckled..), and this is hands down one of the funniest books I read so far this year.
What I most enjoy about Just By Looking at Him, however, is the character development and the accompanying emotional resonance that gradually crescendoes towards the end. This is especially particular to things revolving around Elliott and disability: his and others' relationship with it, his navigation around it, his feelings towards others with it; all of the aforementioned are nuanced and uncomfortable, and while reading, it is not only Elliott who comes to a realization, but the reader with their own unconscious bias as well.
Diverse books are great not because they are diverse, but what we learn and vicariously experience from said diversity, how our worldview is expanded yet its unconscious preconceptions and judgments also challenged. Such is the case with this book. There has been increasing representation particularly with race and gender, but disability - especially queer disability - is still overwhelmingly underrepresented. Reading this book, therefore, is a privilege, and I am very grateful to O'Connell for writing it.
Funny yet subtly dark, Just By Looking at Him is a deep dive into the trials and triumphs of its queer disabled protagonist, whose memorably acerbic and hilarious narrative voice belies a lot of vulnerabilities, and a rare exploration of a severely underrepresented subject.
This book is messy because its main character Elliott is. Living a seemingly perfect life with a great career and stable long-term relationship, but when Elliott hires a sex worker, things gradually start to unravel and he has to come to terms with his shiny-surface life that belies a lifetime of unconscious self-hatred fueled by an ableist society. With this novel, O'Connell asks: how can Elliott not be, in his own words, "seven layers of fucked up" when that is the message society has been sending his cerebral palsy-having self all his life?
Although this book deals with quite a serious subject matter, it does it all with gusto and, most endearingly, hilarity. Elliott's narrative voice and inner monologue are endlessly hilarious even in serious moments (I lost count on how many times I LOL-ed and chuckled..), and this is hands down one of the funniest books I read so far this year.
What I most enjoy about Just By Looking at Him, however, is the character development and the accompanying emotional resonance that gradually crescendoes towards the end. This is especially particular to things revolving around Elliott and disability: his and others' relationship with it, his navigation around it, his feelings towards others with it; all of the aforementioned are nuanced and uncomfortable, and while reading, it is not only Elliott who comes to a realization, but the reader with their own unconscious bias as well.
Diverse books are great not because they are diverse, but what we learn and vicariously experience from said diversity, how our worldview is expanded yet its unconscious preconceptions and judgments also challenged. Such is the case with this book. There has been increasing representation particularly with race and gender, but disability - especially queer disability - is still overwhelmingly underrepresented. Reading this book, therefore, is a privilege, and I am very grateful to O'Connell for writing it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Ableism, Infidelity, and Sexual content
Moderate: Alcoholism, Emotional abuse, and Mental illness
Minor: Abandonment and Drug use
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