Reviews with content warning for Alcohol - Just by Looking at Him

Reviews tagging 'Alcohol'

Just by Looking at Him by Ryan O'Connell

23 reviews

macykey's review against another edition

funny lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

This book was such an easy read. The elder millennial humor dates it quite a bit, but I also feel like that’s relevant because that’s how a lot of people interact now. And plus, that’s my style of humor, so I enjoyed it. It read like I was on FaceTime with a friend of mine. The main character is fallible and frustrating and annoying, but I think that’s the point. Just because he’s gay and disabled doesn’t automatically mean that he should be a saint. There are some shitty gay people and some shitty disabled people. And I 100% get the thought process of ‘I’m so tired of people commenting on everything wrong with my body, so I just want someone to treat me normal for just a second. Even if I have to pay them’. I also enjoyed the way that addiction was portrayed. It’s not always so fucking depressing and obvious. Sometimes it just kind of sneaks up on you. And sometimes you can get addicted to everyday things or people.

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offbrandclubsoda's review against another edition

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challenging emotional reflective fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

This book had so much potential. As a Queer person with cerebral palsy, O’Connell captured parts of my experience beautifully: the internalized ableism, the subconscious desire to be objectified, the anger and resentment, the self destruction. While it was hard for me to read and sit with these parts, they were raw and honest and I appreciated that.

However, the plot ultimately fell flat for me. O’Connell did such a great job at setting the main character up as the “villain” but seemed to phone in the character arc. It felt like the majority of the book was spent develop the gritty, unlikeable parts of Elliott, only for him to wrap it all up in a couple of pages. Not to mention the glaring irony of River accusing Elliott of viewing him like a “manic pixie sex worker” only for Elliott to do EXACTLY THAT with Jonas. I’m sorry but Jonas really was a manic pixie crip character who served only to prop Elliott up. Elliott’s self reflection and ultimate growth came solely through his sexual and romantic connection with Jonas. I would have much preferred to see him achieve this on his own. Other disabled people are not here to serve as a mirror for your own ableism and self hatred!

I also took issue with the simplistic view of recovery. I think Elliott’s drinking problem was well-written and sheds light on a side of substance use that is often ignored, but the recovery aspect was so poorly done. This man really read one book about alcoholism and was cured.

This book also frustrated me because it was so similar to O’Connell’s memoir “I’m Special and Other Lies we Tell Ourselves. “ I don’t think many people read this book, and only know of O’Connell from the Netflix adaptation of the book, but let me tell you, “Just by Looking at Him” contains so many recycled jokes and plot points that it is essentially a memoir 2.0 written under the guise of fiction.

Finally, this is just my own personal taste, but I strongly disliked the writing style of the book. O’Connell tends to write as if he’s texting, which not only screams elder-millennial, but in my opinion, dilutes otherwise hard-hitting scenes.

Overall, this book feels like a first draft. I am excited to see my experience represented so accurately in O’Connell’s writing, but I think there is still a lot of work to do.

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eslsilver's review against another edition

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dark emotional funny tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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lesenilpferd's review against another edition

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emotional reflective slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

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hanumanbapa's review against another edition

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dark emotional funny reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

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alylentz's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful lighthearted reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

This is one of those books that is genuinely funny and then will hit you with something so emotional and insightful and few lines later. It was also great to read from a disabled perspective and still experience a really flawed, messy character. Highly recommend the audiobook as well--it's read by the author and adds a lot to the narrative voice.

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kirklandprosecco's review against another edition

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funny informative reflective slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

First, let's start by saying this book is very funny and very sexually graphic. If you have trouble with graphic sex scenes, you won't be able to avoid those in this book. I have no such hangups (so I thought) but even I found myself blushing sometimes. The best parts about this book were about the author's / narrator’s disability and how it affected his sexual and overall confidence. As a woman of a certain age, I know something about society's messaging about bodies and sex, but this was from a whole other perspective on a whole other level and I appreciated it. The sweetest parts were about his relationship with his father. Although the book was very funny, I felt that a some of the humor deflected from the narrator’s "inner work" and the one-liners were used a bit defensively. As a memoir / novel (honestly it was hard to tell how much of this was or wasn’t biographical, it hit all the beats, but I actually wanted it to get more serious and delve more deeply into the feelings. That said, it is definitely worth a read or listen, and it left me wanting to read a memoir or informational book about CP.

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mmccombs's review against another edition

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emotional funny reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character

3.5

So I didn’t think I was going to finish this one, but I got through the initial hump and am glad I finished it! O’Connell has a very funny and honest writing style, though I did find it to get annoying and kind of cringey over time. I’m also unsure how well this will last over time, a lot of the jokes are of the moment, stuff I’d giggle at on Twitter now but be confused about in approximately one year. I enjoyed reading his perspective on disability and internalized ableism, and the ultimate love interest turned out to be so sweet. I thought this was a very rich cis white dude perspective, so I could see that being a turn off for some folks. I don’t necessarily think this will be a story that sticks with me for too long, but it was enjoyable to read and I’ll keep my eye out for more stuff he writes!

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marilwyd's review against another edition

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Plot- or character-driven? Character

4.0

i actually had no idea how to feel about this book until the end. i kept sending screenshots to my ex bf with all the insane bits in it. however i really enjoyed the ending.

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criticalgayze's review against another edition

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funny hopeful lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

My thanks to Atria Books for both a digital copy of this book through Netgalley and a physical copy for review consideration.

Let me start this review with a readerly tip: When an author tells you how to read their book, listen to them.

I started this one in little snippets when I could get them during off time at a conference, and I was really not vibing with the book at all. I found it forced and inauthentic. When I got home, I sat with it for a more concentrated window, and I found myself vibing with it and genuinely enjoyed the storytelling. That's when a lightbulb went off in my head, and I realized, "Oh, O'Connell wrote short chapters on purpose to propel the reader, and this is a story that's meant to be devoured." So take my advice and binge read this book.

This book is really funny and full of a lot of charm. It is clear why O'Connell's storytelling in shows like Special and Queer As Folk has been so endearing to audiences. Also, as July is Disability Pride Month, I think it's important to highlight the important anti-ableist messaging he shoves in here. Make sure you are always confronting the biases you've internalized.

My one gripe with the book is that it gets a little overly earnest at the end. I get that it is very important to confront your addictions and divorce yourself from enabling relationships. However, at the risk of sounding like an alcoholic, the staunch sobriety message that O'Connell takes us on to round out this narrative feels a tad preachy.

TL;DR - A tad over-earnest, but incredibly charming

Quotes:
How strange that we can saw off certain parts of ourselves, so we remain confident in one area, an area that is challenging for other, only to feel completely honest in another. (42)
I depended on the validation of my coworkers, and when I didn't get that, it threw me off my axis and took away my superpower, which is disarming people and winning their approval. If I wasn't the laser-focused perfectionist perpetually triumphing over something, who was I? (126)
Devon never became a successful writer, but he does ad copy in Portland and lives with his husband, named Jarrett. We follow each other on Instagram. Last week I "liked" a picture of him kayaking, and he wrote, "congrats!" on an Instagram post about my career. What can I say? Modern life is hell. (149)
I'm learning the more you want things, the more likely you end up with nothing. (197)

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