Reviews with content warning for Suicidal thoughts - Heavy: An American Memoir

This is a difficult but beautifully written memoir that’s addressed to Laymon’s mother, creating an admittedly unsettling intimacy by writing in the second person perspective, which really highlights the volatile relationship of the author and his mother. Laymon has a complex love for his mother that will hurt as he shares the abuse and praise that he received from a fixed figure in his life. He writes about being a heavy Black man, exploring a bit more on what “heavy” might mean. He poetically writes about the heaviness of the literal body, of masculinity, of Blackness, of language, of abuse, of complex love. There’s an incredible rhythm in the way he writes that evokes such power in his words.

Being a queer PhD student of color in the academy, I was especially taken to the section that focused on Laymon’s experiences at Vassar College. The things he poignantly wrote aren’t secrets by any means, but the way he laid out the issues that those from marginalized groups face really struck me. It especially gave me more insight on how Black men are treated in such a toxic environment. The sheer amount of emotional labor Laymon took on while in the academy needs to be highlighted. The way he was treated on campus as a Black man needs to be highlighted. The way tenure was handled needs to be highlighted. This book was written in 2018, yet, the issues still persist nearly half a decade later.

I really appreciate the brutal honesty and reflective nature of this memoir, and I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to write this. This book is well worth your time for the way he explores difficult matters from his personal life in addition to nuanced criticism of US society.

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taratearex's review against another edition

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emotional informative reflective sad fast-paced

5.0

First read 2019, physical book:
An incredible book, a must read.

Reread 2023, audiobook:
This is a beautiful and heart wrenching memoir. This remains a necessary read about racism and it's effects on Black people, particularly in how it effects the body and mental health. Rereading this book makes me want to reread Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Anti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness by Da’Shaun Harrison.

The first time I read this book I could not put it down, this time I took my time with the audiobook. The prose is stunning and the vulnerability draws you in, I found both ways of reading it to be deeply engaging, but it is always an experience to hear an author read their own memoir. Kiese Laymon's writing is so poetic that hearing him read it added a sort of slam poetry performance to many parts of it, making it even more emotional and visceral of an experience.

I read his debut novel last year, which I hadn't read when I first read this memoir so that also brought a different experience to hearing him talk about it here, but also just really emphasized what I love about his writing- the poetic rhythm and play on words and just love for language. So going back to his memoir to how he developed as a writer was an interesting perspective.

There are too many lines that I could quote, but given this was a reread and I've gotten very into rereading recently, this really stuck out to me:
"I learned you haven't really read anything unless you've only read anything once or twice. Reading things more than twice was the reader version of revision"

I reread this on almost the exact dates as I first did in 2019

TW: Eating disorder, Child abuse, Racism, Fatphobia, Addiction, Sexual violence

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