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debsrodgers's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
ginabyeg's review against another edition
3.0
This was sometimes a hard read. As someone who lives and breathes a career focused on social and emotional development and well-being, it's hard to read pages of experiences by someone who lacks those foundations of the human experience--and who seems to be okay with it. Fair enough, she states a disclaimer in the introduction that she's a sociopath, and is therefore writing from the perspective of one. But fair warning, you will read much of the book and think to yourself, "what a manipulative b*#$%." That being said, she does make some interesting points throughout that will encourage you to pause and reflect on some of society's double standards around neuro-typicals and non-neuro-typicals. I did skip over a large section in the middle where she talks about her career in law--more because legal jargon goes right over my head and holds no interest for me. I do find her last chapter and epilogue conclude her memoir well. Softens her edges, so to speak.
eilis's review
2.0
-author/narrator super unlikable making for a slow read
-no sense of structure or organization, the whole thing just meandered along
-sooo repetitive, everything in this book could have been condensed to 20 pages
-no sense of structure or organization, the whole thing just meandered along
-sooo repetitive, everything in this book could have been condensed to 20 pages
kimball_hansen's review against another edition
3.0
3.5 stars. The writing could have been much better but perhaps that's because she's a sociopath. She really toots her own horn throughout the book. But I was still surprised by all the hating reviews from this book, perhaps they are sociopaths and are made because the author has exposed all their secrets. Plus I don't like that she used the Ghost Author and didn't disclose her name. It makes the story much less credible like she was afraid of happening. If she doesn't care about what other people think then just go right ahead. She can't get fired from her job. In fact, she would probably become a national hero and considered "brave" in our society today. Idiots. I imagine this lady looking/acting like the blonde from The Italian Job or T-X from Terminator 3, respectively.
My sister told me I had to read this stat. Now that I've read it, I'm still left wondering what exactly is a sociopath. Did anyone else feel that way? There are so many indicators and such but they could really be anyone just at different degrees of severity. Like how we all have ADD and OCD and other disorders. I would need to sit down and talk with a few diagnosed sociopath where we both know who the sociopaths are then I would ask them a million questions all while being paranoid that they're not secretly plotting to destroy my life. Do they even have real friends at all? I can't comprehend their mindset yet. It just seems like they're all pathological liars.
I didn't like the beginning of the book with her anecdote of the poor baby possum being in the pool and her flirting with the idea of drowning it. It set the undermining tone that sociopaths murder for fun, which she desperately tried to state that most of them don't do those things. So why did she lure us down that road like that? I wonder if this book was some huge ploy of hers to seduce and trick millions of people at once to her advantage.
For example, at the end of the book the author says you can email her to get your "true name", so I did. I couldn't shake the feeling that by emailing and asking her was putting my soul at the same risk as if you'd accidentally click on a spam link and now your account is hacked. Even if she did respond how do I know she's telling the truth. By knowing someone is a sociopath I simply just wouldn't be able to truth them. Their whole life seems to be a lie.
Now I'm on a mission to label people as sociopaths especially authors from books I've read (For example I was reminded of Frank Abegnale Jr in [b:Catch Me If You Can: The True Story of a Real Fake|138269|Catch Me If You Can The True Story of a Real Fake|Frank W. Abagnale|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1358730242i/138269._SY75_.jpg|985716]. Was he a sociopath). I think I know a few, I wonder if my friend Ben is one. But even then I can't be so sure. While reading this book I even questioned myself if I was a sociopath since I would taunt the bus while on my bike without a care for my life the same way she would. In fact, in some ways I wish I was a sociopath (instead of an empth-the polar opposite) because then I would be free to live my own life instead of living in fear and not worry about what other people think (my greatest flaw).
The thing I wished she had expounded on (she wrote this in 2013 after all) was how she or sociopaths interact with Social Media. Bookface and especially IG must be a gold mine for these people to plunder and destroy all.
But anyways, let's go to my notes to help us better figure out these strange, fake creatures because it seems beep near impossible (hence the hiding in plain site subtitle):
1 out of 25 people are sociopaths. They have big egos and sustain eye contact. They are spontaneous and enjoy switching jobs often. They have a need for stimulation and are usually CEOS and other such high-powered jobs. They are like dark matter. They see things no one else does because they have different expectations about the world and people in it.
She couldn't tell when people are mad at her.
Sociopathy can't be diagnosed solely on behavior but the internal motivations must also be examined. How do you know they're not lying about their internal motivations then?
She said the environment she was raise in played a significant role in being a sociopath. Often taking beatings from her father, she had the upper hand by threatening to tell on him. I loved the story when she got under her dad's skin and told him, "I'm rolling up my window on you." That's a good phrase to use for those I'm mad at and hate.
I don't know if it's true for all sociopaths but she said she didn't think she had any securities (or at least not care about any). Which got me thinking, what would the chink in a sociopath's armor be? How can you get to them and gain the upper hand instead of them winning all the time? There's a million dollar-business-venture capitalist-hedge fund idea right there.
Not all things are negative about them. She was able to be fully-funded retired at age 30. She is still kind to others in some twisted way. Bullies get enemies when they gain power. Sociopaths gain friends when they get power.
I liked her analogy of the Tin Man and needing a heart in describing herself. It felt like a glimmer of hope. She likes to seduce people in order to gain the upper hand. She said "People are starved of love which is why a simple touch or flirtations gesture will go a long way and people confuse this with 'love'." Which made me think if this epidemic of people being starved for love is really because they don't love themselves first.
My sister told me I had to read this stat. Now that I've read it, I'm still left wondering what exactly is a sociopath. Did anyone else feel that way? There are so many indicators and such but they could really be anyone just at different degrees of severity. Like how we all have ADD and OCD and other disorders. I would need to sit down and talk with a few diagnosed sociopath where we both know who the sociopaths are then I would ask them a million questions all while being paranoid that they're not secretly plotting to destroy my life. Do they even have real friends at all? I can't comprehend their mindset yet. It just seems like they're all pathological liars.
I didn't like the beginning of the book with her anecdote of the poor baby possum being in the pool and her flirting with the idea of drowning it
Spoiler
which she inadvertently did, dang itFor example, at the end of the book the author says you can email her to get your "true name", so I did. I couldn't shake the feeling that by emailing and asking her was putting my soul at the same risk as if you'd accidentally click on a spam link and now your account is hacked. Even if she did respond how do I know she's telling the truth. By knowing someone is a sociopath I simply just wouldn't be able to truth them. Their whole life seems to be a lie.
Now I'm on a mission to label people as sociopaths especially authors from books I've read (For example I was reminded of Frank Abegnale Jr in [b:Catch Me If You Can: The True Story of a Real Fake|138269|Catch Me If You Can The True Story of a Real Fake|Frank W. Abagnale|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1358730242i/138269._SY75_.jpg|985716]. Was he a sociopath). I think I know a few, I wonder if my friend Ben is one. But even then I can't be so sure. While reading this book I even questioned myself if I was a sociopath since I would taunt the bus while on my bike without a care for my life the same way she would. In fact, in some ways I wish I was a sociopath (instead of an empth-the polar opposite) because then I would be free to live my own life instead of living in fear and not worry about what other people think (my greatest flaw).
The thing I wished she had expounded on (she wrote this in 2013 after all) was how she or sociopaths interact with Social Media. Bookface and especially IG must be a gold mine for these people to plunder and destroy all.
But anyways, let's go to my notes to help us better figure out these strange, fake creatures because it seems beep near impossible (hence the hiding in plain site subtitle):
1 out of 25 people are sociopaths. They have big egos and sustain eye contact. They are spontaneous and enjoy switching jobs often. They have a need for stimulation and are usually CEOS and other such high-powered jobs. They are like dark matter. They see things no one else does because they have different expectations about the world and people in it.
She couldn't tell when people are mad at her.
Sociopathy can't be diagnosed solely on behavior but the internal motivations must also be examined. How do you know they're not lying about their internal motivations then?
She said the environment she was raise in played a significant role in being a sociopath. Often taking beatings from her father, she had the upper hand by threatening to tell on him. I loved the story when she got under her dad's skin and told him, "I'm rolling up my window on you." That's a good phrase to use for those I'm mad at and hate.
I don't know if it's true for all sociopaths but she said she didn't think she had any securities (or at least not care about any). Which got me thinking, what would the chink in a sociopath's armor be? How can you get to them and gain the upper hand instead of them winning all the time? There's a million dollar-business-venture capitalist-hedge fund idea right there.
Not all things are negative about them. She was able to be fully-funded retired at age 30. She is still kind to others in some twisted way. Bullies get enemies when they gain power. Sociopaths gain friends when they get power.
I liked her analogy of the Tin Man and needing a heart in describing herself. It felt like a glimmer of hope. She likes to seduce people in order to gain the upper hand. She said "People are starved of love which is why a simple touch or flirtations gesture will go a long way and people confuse this with 'love'." Which made me think if this epidemic of people being starved for love is really because they don't love themselves first.
earthboundcutie's review
4.0
Finally, finally done this book. Took me like a year I think to actually get through it but the last 10% probably dragged for about 9 months. I think this was probably because she switched from speaking about herself to going on and on about raising sociopathic children which was just not as interesting to me as her own experiences. Other reviewers seem to be unhappy with the way it was written or how self assured or "self diagnosing" she was but I think they miss the point that this is exactly what a sociopath behaves like. If you are into psychology and human behaviour I highly recommend this read!
alexandrabjarg's review against another edition
2.0
Langdregin og frekar leiðinleg bók. Gefur svosem áhugaverða innsýn inn í heim siðblindingjans á köflum en á heilt yfir ekki þess virði.
ali_enza's review against another edition
4.0
I enjoyed reading this book although I did not particularly like the narrator. I think that's the point of the book. As a sociopath, she comes off as narcissistic, manipulative and more grandiose than she probably really is. She says it in the first chapter and it holds true for the entirety of the book. She comes off as unlikable because she is not trying to charm but present her reality (one which is, of course, skewed by perspective just like every memoir). I enjoyed her self awareness and the conciseness in which she presented her life. She is apathetic and hard to relate too but because she presents her life as a kind of case study, you can still feel for her.
Her brand of sociopathy, is one that can be lived with, but like her, I wonder what would have happened if any one of her circumstances had been different. Would it have been possible for her to have become empathetic? Could she have been violent? (The thought also occurs to me that maybe she is more violent than she let's on... Does the thought of consequence actually control her actions, or does it control her writing? Just a curiosity of mine. Since I don't know her, I cannot tell)
I found the author's questions intriguing. She poses intelligent, thought provoking inquiries about possibilities for others and for the future of individuals as well as to psychology.
I did have a couple of problems with the writing, but they are minor. The first is repetition. There was quite a lot of information repeated in slightly different phrasings throughout the book. This is especially true for the first half whereas the second half of the book feels more personal. I would've loved to see more of her personal life and the interactions there. She mentions that there are certain stories she can't tell without risk of prosecution or being sued but I would've love to hear more of those personal stories to understand her better.
The other issue I had is the use of the word "empath" and it is an issue that even the author notes. Sociopath vs. empath did not feel right to me, nor to her. I wish she had addressed this sooner as not every non-sociopathic person is an empath. She waited till the conclusion to introduce that it's not either/or thinking. There is a scale of emotional intelligence.
Her brand of sociopathy, is one that can be lived with, but like her, I wonder what would have happened if any one of her circumstances had been different. Would it have been possible for her to have become empathetic? Could she have been violent? (The thought also occurs to me that maybe she is more violent than she let's on... Does the thought of consequence actually control her actions, or does it control her writing? Just a curiosity of mine. Since I don't know her, I cannot tell)
I found the author's questions intriguing. She poses intelligent, thought provoking inquiries about possibilities for others and for the future of individuals as well as to psychology.
I did have a couple of problems with the writing, but they are minor. The first is repetition. There was quite a lot of information repeated in slightly different phrasings throughout the book. This is especially true for the first half whereas the second half of the book feels more personal. I would've loved to see more of her personal life and the interactions there. She mentions that there are certain stories she can't tell without risk of prosecution or being sued but I would've love to hear more of those personal stories to understand her better.
The other issue I had is the use of the word "empath" and it is an issue that even the author notes. Sociopath vs. empath did not feel right to me, nor to her. I wish she had addressed this sooner as not every non-sociopathic person is an empath. She waited till the conclusion to introduce that it's not either/or thinking. There is a scale of emotional intelligence.
daena_johnson's review against another edition
It's giving "A Million Little Pieces" vibes 🚩🚩🚩
kimthezombie's review against another edition
challenging
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
slow-paced
3.5
Sociopathy is both eerie and a part of the human experience
bboduffy's review against another edition
1.0
First off - I didn't actually finish this book. I got 70% of the way through (I'm counting it towards my 2017 reading list anyway, dgaf), but in general self-preservation decided to stop.
Perhaps my annoyance was in my expectations, my hopes for this text - that it would be more clinical (one of the critiques of this book is that it was too analytical) but also of palatable literary caliber. I've only interacted with extremely intelligent sociopaths in the past and was disappointed in the quality (grotesque egotism was contrary to the professed self-awareness) present here.
But the main reason why I stopped reading the text was because it was emotionally aggravating. I had a visceral reaction to the narrator, probing into the psyche of "M.E. Thomas" stirred physiological discomfort. Simultaneous emotions of anxiety and disgust. I see people I work with in this book (I work at an advertising agency, to be expected) but I also see a bit of myself (my interest in social psychology, consumer behavior, persuasive rhetoric).
I will probably finish this book, once I'm done with finals and have the emotional energy to invest in understanding why this book was personally problematic. It likely comes down to the passages about childhood abuse / ensuing displacement. But for now - repress, repress, repress.
Perhaps my annoyance was in my expectations, my hopes for this text - that it would be more clinical (one of the critiques of this book is that it was too analytical) but also of palatable literary caliber. I've only interacted with extremely intelligent sociopaths in the past and was disappointed in the quality (grotesque egotism was contrary to the professed self-awareness) present here.
But the main reason why I stopped reading the text was because it was emotionally aggravating. I had a visceral reaction to the narrator, probing into the psyche of "M.E. Thomas" stirred physiological discomfort. Simultaneous emotions of anxiety and disgust. I see people I work with in this book (I work at an advertising agency, to be expected) but I also see a bit of myself (my interest in social psychology, consumer behavior, persuasive rhetoric).
I will probably finish this book, once I'm done with finals and have the emotional energy to invest in understanding why this book was personally problematic. It likely comes down to the passages about childhood abuse / ensuing displacement. But for now - repress, repress, repress.