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158 reviews for:
Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility
Foster Cline, Jim Fay
3.75 AVERAGE
158 reviews for:
Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility
Foster Cline, Jim Fay
3.75 AVERAGE
After 25 pages I had to give it back to the library. Didn't realize it was a God-y type of parenting book. Adam and Eve was mentioned right off the bat and proverbs start each chapter. Not my sort of thing.
I will probably be stoned for the rating I am giving this book since legions of parents seem to be love it. It came highly recommended by a colleague. However, I do not understand the hype. I found it to be inconsistent, at times downright ridiculous, and a complete waste of my time.
Even poor books have some redeeming qualities. I do like that the focus of this book is on choices and consequences and that parents are encouraged to let their kids learn from them. Perhaps, reading as a parent a generation removed from the original intended audience, I am not fully appreciating that as an original idea. However, even if that is the case, the book still suffers from numerous problems.
The list of things I hated about this book is just too long to mention here (I know Mr. Cline, I only dislike it because my parents did it all wrong, right? That is awfully convenient for you.). Bottom line: Don't bother.
Even poor books have some redeeming qualities. I do like that the focus of this book is on choices and consequences and that parents are encouraged to let their kids learn from them. Perhaps, reading as a parent a generation removed from the original intended audience, I am not fully appreciating that as an original idea. However, even if that is the case, the book still suffers from numerous problems.
The list of things I hated about this book is just too long to mention here (I know Mr. Cline, I only dislike it because my parents did it all wrong, right? That is awfully convenient for you.). Bottom line: Don't bother.
I think this book has a number of good ideas that I plan to implement as a parent. The recurring themes are:
1) Whenever possible, allow the "natural consequences" to take place as opposed to issuing punishments all the time.
2) Offer your kids choices rather than telling them what to do. This will allow them to hone their decision making ability so they're more prepare for the real word.
3) When your kids mess up, speak to them in a loving, empathetic way rather than "I told you so's".
There are plenty of examples of each of these themes throughout the book. I only gave the book three stars because first, I feel that Part 1 has no structure or flow to it and just jumps around from topic to topic without any order. Second, the mock conversations sound very unrealistic. In particular, the parents saying things like "What a bummer", "How sad for you", and "I hope that works out for you." How is it possible to say these lines without sounding sarcastic or condescending? Overall though, this book has some great ideas and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to be a good parent.
1) Whenever possible, allow the "natural consequences" to take place as opposed to issuing punishments all the time.
2) Offer your kids choices rather than telling them what to do. This will allow them to hone their decision making ability so they're more prepare for the real word.
3) When your kids mess up, speak to them in a loving, empathetic way rather than "I told you so's".
There are plenty of examples of each of these themes throughout the book. I only gave the book three stars because first, I feel that Part 1 has no structure or flow to it and just jumps around from topic to topic without any order. Second, the mock conversations sound very unrealistic. In particular, the parents saying things like "What a bummer", "How sad for you", and "I hope that works out for you." How is it possible to say these lines without sounding sarcastic or condescending? Overall though, this book has some great ideas and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to be a good parent.
I think this book is a very helpful parenting tool, but I gave it 3 stars for a couple of reasons. The first reason being selfish, it just wasn't a pleasure read. I did not enjoy reading it, but I pushed through because I knew the information would be helpful. Another reason is that I found the language used in the book a little patronizing. I don't enjoy being patronized, and I'm sure my kids don't either so I plan to refrain from that language in any of my love and logic implementing. The last reason is that it is definitely geared toward a particular type of parent. Middle to upper class parents with resources to blow are most likely to find the love and logic techniques very effective. I would recommend it, it has many helpful tips. But I also approach it with the attitude of "take the good, leave the rest."
The techniques in the book work if you are willing to be consistent. I need to read this again for the 10th time. It does take a little brain power on the part of the parent, but it is effective. It also lends itself to tweaking for your particular child's behavior. And you don't have to use every single idea, just the ones that will work for you.
The pearls of wisdom in the second half of the book seem promising and helpful. The first portion feels a bit outdated in regards to parenting practices.
This is a great book! I loved a lot of the concepts they talk about, like putting the responsibility for decisions and consequences on the child, helping the child become independent, and looking for win-win situations while parenting. Now for the hard part--implementing all the concepts I learned about. I would definitely recommend this book!
I wish I'd read this one sooner. I am going to have to study and practice it a lot because right now with my defiant child it feels very ineffective :\ Lots of bad habits (on both sides) to break.
EDIT: As I've contemplated some of it more, I needed to drop my rating. While I recognize that parenting styles are unique, and I will definitely use some of the methods recommended here, I struggled with some of the suggestions for dealing with defiance. It didn't really solve some of the problems I have in specific areas I needed it to and I felt like it was naive in its expectations of change from the child's perspective.
EDIT: As I've contemplated some of it more, I needed to drop my rating. While I recognize that parenting styles are unique, and I will definitely use some of the methods recommended here, I struggled with some of the suggestions for dealing with defiance. It didn't really solve some of the problems I have in specific areas I needed it to and I felt like it was naive in its expectations of change from the child's perspective.
I’ve heard so much about this book. So many parents I know recommend “Love and Logic” and at the core, I do think the message is a good one: children should be given choices and logical consequences. But the “examples” in this book were ridiculous and I literally snorted out loud while reading some of them. I’ve never met a two year old in the world that says, “I’m cranky because I’m tired.” Be real!
Ok, I’ll admit, I skimmed the last half of this book. But that’s because it is divided into different situations, and I read the ones that may apply. There are some things in this book that I am not willing to accept, however. Repeating a grade because you didn’t do your school work is crossing the line. Calling a friend to take you to your room after misbehaving in the grocery store seems more like a reward than a punishment. If you take this book at its core, it has valuable lessons for parents. Just don’t even bother reading the examples.
Ok, I’ll admit, I skimmed the last half of this book. But that’s because it is divided into different situations, and I read the ones that may apply. There are some things in this book that I am not willing to accept, however. Repeating a grade because you didn’t do your school work is crossing the line. Calling a friend to take you to your room after misbehaving in the grocery store seems more like a reward than a punishment. If you take this book at its core, it has valuable lessons for parents. Just don’t even bother reading the examples.