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partly_stars's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
A really interesting memoir, talking a lot about depression, trauma, family and trying to build your life when you are in the dark pit of despair and getting better.
It is very touching and raw, especially when talking about childhood sexual abuse, self harm and self destructive patterns of behavior. Rhick's writing flows very well and balances the honest openness with some lighter tone, especially toward the end of the book.
I liked how the book was divided in chapters relating to different aspects of his life with vague chronology. It worked well and was an interesting approach.
I feel like the struggle was described very realistically, the all consuming heaviness hanging over every aspect of life that makes it easy to forget that we are more than just depression. I also liked that the author talked about lesser talked about like memory problems and being not very pleasant to be around in a self-destructive way of pushing people away.
Rhick comes across as someone who reflected a lot about his experience and relationship with people close to him, especially his mother. He is non judgemental towards his past self but telling his story with emotional openness, from a place of a person who is finally coming to terms with his mental ilness and traumas instead of bottling them up.
I also really appreciate that while the last chapter talks a lot about getting better, it takes time to say that depression doesn't just dissapear. It might always be there but you learn how to live with better. I think it's an important thing to say in the culture where we are expected to just "get well" and be back to "normal" like there is some miracle cure for depression.
I also really liked the author's relationship with his mother - very close but emotionally distant at first, bottling up the issues (as many immigrant families tend to do), not talking about emotions. But it is so clear that there is a strong bond between them and his mother is a real trooper, helping her depressed adult son in times when he couldn't even work, letting him move back in with her, working and cooking for them. I appreciate that in the world where living with your parents is considered a failure, there is not a trace of that narrative.
Also something that stuck with me - remembering that even in the pit of depression we are more than just the illness - we are still a person who likes to make other people laugh, dance, run around and more. We are still people with those good characteristics even if the illness makes us forget or discard them
It is very touching and raw, especially when talking about childhood sexual abuse, self harm and self destructive patterns of behavior. Rhick's writing flows very well and balances the honest openness with some lighter tone, especially toward the end of the book.
I liked how the book was divided in chapters relating to different aspects of his life with vague chronology. It worked well and was an interesting approach.
I feel like the struggle was described very realistically, the all consuming heaviness hanging over every aspect of life that makes it easy to forget that we are more than just depression. I also liked that the author talked about lesser talked about like memory problems and being not very pleasant to be around in a self-destructive way of pushing people away.
Rhick comes across as someone who reflected a lot about his experience and relationship with people close to him, especially his mother. He is non judgemental towards his past self but telling his story with emotional openness, from a place of a person who is finally coming to terms with his mental ilness and traumas instead of bottling them up.
I also really appreciate that while the last chapter talks a lot about getting better, it takes time to say that depression doesn't just dissapear. It might always be there but you learn how to live with better. I think it's an important thing to say in the culture where we are expected to just "get well" and be back to "normal" like there is some miracle cure for depression.
I also really liked the author's relationship with his mother - very close but emotionally distant at first, bottling up the issues (as many immigrant families tend to do), not talking about emotions. But it is so clear that there is a strong bond between them and his mother is a real trooper, helping her depressed adult son in times when he couldn't even work, letting him move back in with her, working and cooking for them. I appreciate that in the world where living with your parents is considered a failure, there is not a trace of that narrative.
Also something that stuck with me - remembering that even in the pit of depression we are more than just the illness - we are still a person who likes to make other people laugh, dance, run around and more. We are still people with those good characteristics even if the illness makes us forget or discard them
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Child abuse, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Self harm, and Suicide attempt
lauroska's review
5.0
As a person who fortunately never suffered from depression, I never gave it that much thought or tried to empathise with it. Only after one of my closest friends told me he started seeing a psychologist because he feels like he might be suffering from it, I started to pay more attention. And I think that after reading "I Never Said I Loved You" I finally can see the impact depression can make on one' s life and the importance of not taking it lightly.
The story presented in this book is written in a painfully witty and clever way, but you can sense the seriousness of the situation in every joke. I enjoyed the honesty and self-reflection that Samadder had to have in order to look back at his past and trying to understand it in retrospect. The book must have been a therapeutic way for the author to forgive himself and people that done him wrong. I am sure this story can help and make those in a similar situation feel less alone.
Even though this book gave me a serious emotional kick, it was so worth it. There wasn't a part that would feel out of place or not thought through and I have enjoyed every chapter. Rhik Samadder proved, at least for me, that even if he failed at many careers, he truly knows how to write and I am hoping for more books in the future.
The story presented in this book is written in a painfully witty and clever way, but you can sense the seriousness of the situation in every joke. I enjoyed the honesty and self-reflection that Samadder had to have in order to look back at his past and trying to understand it in retrospect. The book must have been a therapeutic way for the author to forgive himself and people that done him wrong. I am sure this story can help and make those in a similar situation feel less alone.
Even though this book gave me a serious emotional kick, it was so worth it. There wasn't a part that would feel out of place or not thought through and I have enjoyed every chapter. Rhik Samadder proved, at least for me, that even if he failed at many careers, he truly knows how to write and I am hoping for more books in the future.
livbrown's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
reflective
sad
slow-paced
4.0
A beautiful, powerful memoir that made me laugh and cry throughout! This book is a strikingly honest account of the dark and light of Rhik Samadder’s life, confronting taboos such as eating disorders, sexual abuse and depression. I found it profound and raw- if you are searching for a slow paced, but emotionally engaging read, it is a real gem.
dannydingo's review against another edition
4.0
A compelling honest memoir discussing some very heavy subjects, but at times very amusing, with interjections of laughter to oppose the sadness.
schopflin's review against another edition
5.0
I absolutely loved this. It's far from perfect but it describes depression so well, reveals so much of himself and is also laugh out loud funny.
laramargiela's review against another edition
5.0
My favourite book I’ve ever read. It’s beautiful. It discusses things I’ve experienced, thought, felt but never had the chance to hear back to me. It’s utterly comforting in its relatability. If there’s one book I’d force on everyone I cross paths with, it’s this one.
inthemilkyway's review against another edition
3.0
Raw and eye opening. Made me think a lot about life.